Impatiences: Enough is Enough, Steps to Change - Day 464

When I first wake up in the morning, this is a exceptional time to direct myself within the day I will live moving forward, I tend to go into my mind in these times and judge myself, especially when I am in the mirror getting ready. I find this will then lead into my day where I will go into my mind and create scenarios about others and how they are treating me, distracting myself from how I am in fact creating what I am experiencing and so then not taking responsibility for myself to change, which causes this scenario to continue to occur over and over again.

One of the outflow consequences of this I am experiencing within myself and within my world is impatience’s. I am quite astonished at how repetitive my world is and how much I go into blame and distraction toward others, when I have not once until recently looked within myself, taken responsibility for myself, and so change and correct that which does not work. I also find that this impatience towards others creates a lot of strain within the relationships I am involved in which causes stress and anxiety, so allowing this to continue and perpetuate is causing unnecessary strain within myself and so within those I am causing consequence with.

I am going to write out the self forgiveness and self correction here to let go of the scenario I wrote out about, and correct this point to be best for myself and so best for those whom I interact with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in the mornings when I wake up go into my mind and criticize the way I look and compare myself to pictures in my mind of what I should look like.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself in a way that separates me from the existence that is here where we all exist in a form of individuality through our physical though exist as life one and equal within all as the physical that exists within all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow my mind within the belief that I am not attractive and that I have no purpose if I am not perfect within the way I look toward others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as unattractive because I have judged my eyes and my face based on memories of boys judging my eyes and face specifically as less then.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself based on memories in my mind through a time within my life where it is not certain what were the specific events and what the boys where going through within themselves.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself by external factors where I see myself in a specific way according to what is being done onto me or said onto me, when in reality I am not clear in what is behind what is being said and why as well as can’t really know directly why it is being done to me, and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself by others and who they are at that time as I see, realize, and understand that others are also walking their process as a mind and don’t consider me as an equal and so can harm me or speak to me in ways that are not best for all and I realize this is not who they are nor myself, and with this awareness I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall into the energy of emotions and not stand as a support for others to show as an example what it means to stand through emotion and stand as a life support through not accepting what others say or do and so direct self within how one see is best for all and will create a solution for what is happening.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into emotion rather then stand within the principle of what is best and walking what is here as self support and self honesty, correcting that which is not best, and standing within the resistance to continue as it is comfortable to stay in and as the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall into emotion and not breath and move through this find solutions for these moments where I stand in the face of challenges and find solutions as I see, realize, and understand I am capable as I am able to walk common sense through stopping the mind from moving fast and falling into the energy that will create distractions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for when I see, realize, and understand I am not standing within my utmost potential and push myself beyond my perceived limitations to walk what is necessary to be walked in the time to come.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take full responsibility for what I have created here and so blame others and become emotional with others to distract from the fact that I am not standing and moving myself in the way I realize I am able to.

When and as I see I am moving in the morning within a suppression and an energy of self abuse, I stop and breath, and let go of these thoughts by doing self forgiveness and self commitments as I realize these will only create a heaviness within me and a point of self compromise as I accept these thoughts as real and so direct myself from my mind rather then my self living here in self acceptance and self direction in self honesty and common sense.

When and as I see I am going into a point where I am blaming another for something that I am experiencing within myself, I stop and breath, and realize that I am not taking responsibility in that moment to stop what I am creating as separation and abuse, and find the correction process to move into a point of self stability as well as self change that brings about solutions that is best for all.

I commit myself to in the mornings when I wake up, breath and breath until I am here and walk self forgiveness for any points that are cycling.

I commit myself to accept myself in the mirror and do any self forgiveness to any memories or pictures that come up to distract me and take me away from here.

I commit myself to move into self acceptance as well as accepting others for how they are and find solutions that are best in the moment to solve issues rather then reacting and creating emotional issues with others.

I commit myself to apply myself in real time self change to become stable in moments that I see I have a choice to go into the mind or be stable, I commit and move into stability in these moments through pushing myself to be stable and using the tools of self change to remain here, present, and creating solutions for what is here to do what is best for all.

Interview to check out on the topic of impatience:
Impatience - Reptilians - Part 225

Check Out these Awesome supportive sites:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Destonians
Destonian Social Network
Self and Living Store
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site

Impatience: How does Self Abuse Relate? Day 463

Impatience for me has been something that has been with me for a long time, I have always been frustrated with this point within myself and with my life because it seems that there is something off about why I am experiencing myself in such a way and why my reality is also experiencing themselves in this way. Obviously now, I realize it is based on the mind generating energy, though when I was young, I expressed the frustration usually in yelling or violence. I did not realize that stopping my thoughts about something willingly also support with stopping the emotions like impatience, and so makes me more stable and able to solve problems productively rather then creating more and more conflict. This understanding certainly supports with the process of changing this point from controlling me to directing me within it.

I listened to Anu tonight in regards to this point, so I do have some greater perspective on what impatience means within the mind/physical/beingness relationship inside self, so that is a cool foundation point, which I will continue to utilize as I continue to walk this point with more depth and specificity. This a side note : )

So in terms of this interview, what was discussed is how impatience is a form of automation within us that was preprogrammed into the mind to create a separation from self and the physical. So within myself what am I doing in my day to day living that is causing this separation between what I am living here and when I go into impatient? One point I was looking at was the trigger points of some of this impatient reactions I go into with my partner or with people at work, and I see initially there is a thought that comes up that I judge myself, such as I look ugly today or I am not feeling pretty, because in the morning I had a thought that I was looking tired. From here, I came into work with this thought and so when someone would create a movement that I perceived that they were judging me I would go into my mind and react, and then create an impatience with that person not because of anything they did, but because I wanted to distract myself from the fact that I am feeling uncomfortable around them based on my perception of feeling like I am being judged.

When in reality, I judged myself initially in the beginning of the day and created the experience that others are judging me, and then go into a reaction of impatience and create abuse as my outflow with people, when what really happened is that I reacted to my own judgment in the morning, which trigger my experience for the day that I followed of ‘feeling tired, and so ugly’. I am creating this whole scenario myself and blaming/projecting on others something that they are not doing and further, I have no reference to where they are at within themselves. And so creating this scernerio of becoming impatient, annoyed, and the outflow usually quick, frustrated, or rude to others is deliberate and unacceptable as I creating it this way when it doesn’t have to be.

So I am noticing that my outflows of impatience in one dimension is based on self judgments I hold of myself such as ‘I am ugly today’ as a backchat thought, and then any sign of being dismissed or any negative perception I accept within myself of what others are doing/insinuating/saying to me, I use impatience as a defense and protection mechanism to push people away and become the authority of the situation. Here I have power and I squash others before they have the chance to judge me as how I have judge myself, I am afraid of being judged as how I have judged myself. It’s a self perpetuating cycle of self abuse I am creating and so abusing others around me because I am judging myself initially, blaming others for the way I am experiencing myself around them, and then abusing them because I am afraid to face the fact that I am doing this to myself, and so ultimately resisting the change process this will take to stop and live as an equal with others, let go of my self judgments, and stop allowing this cycle of energy addiction to continue.

Well not any longer will I accept and allow this playout to continue, I am going to next write the self forgiveness and correction process to be lived in my next blog and then further open up more dimensions to this point of impatience in later blogs, thanks for reading.

Interview to check out on the topic of impatience:

Impatience - Reptilians - Part 225

Check Out these Awesome supportive sites:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
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Self and Living Store
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site

Opening Up the Mind Construct of Impatience – Day 462

One thing I am noticing recently about myself is the lack of patience I have which I have written about before, though it is still here. I am mostly noticing this within my day to day living such as becoming annoyed at someone driving slow in front of me, my dog barking at a neighbor, my dog sniffing a spot for too much time, the birds chirping outside my window, my pillows not being positioned in a way I am most comfortable, my room being too small, and the list could go on if I include my irritation toward the people in my world at times, I mean I go into annoyance often enough where I am now writing a blog about it and correcting it once and for all. Obviously walking my process from consciousness to self awareness, I am investigating all things and keeping that which is good, and the fact that I am creating a source of conflict within myself toward the my external reality through living out the act of impatience by shouting or speaking fast or becoming rude or not considering another equal to myself is showing that there is a point of self interest I am accessing, and so not adhering to the principle of prevention is the best cure as well as accepting all here as self, which is in fact what is real as all life is equal and one.

Now, this is a point I am writing about because I am still showing that I am being dictated by irritation and this steaming from my lack of patience’s with my world and so this external impatience mirroring the internal impatience I have with myself. I see in a way where these impatience actions outflowing into irritation is steaming from ideas/beliefs/desires/fears that I have created within my mind and projected it onto reality, so within this I am living from the alternate reality through my mind as my fears/desires/ideas/beliefs instead of moving with the pace of breath, here.

I have an example, which I can better explain what here as breath means, I take henri my dog on walks, and we go down paths with big trees, henri likes to run ahead and sniff around and explore the woods around us. I had the idea to hide behind a tree to see what henri would do, and I found I could not stand behind the tree for more then 15 seconds because I went into the emotion of feeling guilty based on his reaction of alertness and wonderment of where I was. I assumed within him he is going into fear, so I pop out behind the tree and he sees me and turns around and continues to do the exact same thing he was doing before he noticed I had disappeared. So here is an example of ‘being here’, Henri was living within the present (here) moment, where we are walking and he is sniffing, he looks back and sees I am not there and based on the reality of his situation, I am no where to be seen, he goes into an alertness where his ears perk out and he goes stiff to be able to listen intently. He does not do what I did in that moment, which is react in emotion, he goes into his physical body and uses his resources to solve the problem, making for much more efficiency in his resources within himself and not creating extra ‘baggage’ so to speak with going into the alternate dimensions of for example thoughts such as “she left me, does she not love me anymore?” “oh god, I am going to die out here, I don’t know where to go?” “what a bitch, where did she go?” (Henri hypothetical thoughts).

And when I pop out, he is not thinking “you are so mean, don’t do that again”, or goes into any physical indication of emotions like crying or aggression, he simply turns around and continues on with what he is doing, there was no reaction only stability. He was showing he was moving within what is here, he took in information in each moment, assessed, and moved within a common sense path using his physical body as support, he remained stable and continued to be stable for the entire duration of the exercise.

So a cool example for me to see what this moment of ‘being here’ looks like, it’s one where emotions/feelings are not visible or accessed but a physical presence of stability is shown, I obviously realize through walking this process that emotions and feelings are created through thinking, so when I access the thoughts as I used for example with Henri’s hypothetical, you can see how much more baggage and more taxing our bodies go through due to all this participation in thoughts and energy as emotions and feelings we go into. I was more tired after that ordeal within me because of the spike of guilty emotion laced in fear due to my thoughts that he was going to suffer in some way if I didn’t show myself. Dogs have a different purpose then humans do on this planet, and I suggest to check out the links below to find out more information of dogs history as well as many other animals, but for my process here I am looking at what thoughts, emotions, and feelings I am accessing and continuing to fuel through participating and living out the personality of ‘irritation’ and ‘impatience’ and the many dimensions that this includes.

I will continue in my next blog, thanks for reading.

Interview Support on Animals' Perspectives:
Animals on Eqafe

Dog Series:
Pets and Owners Relationship Review - Part 1
Pets and Owners Relationship Review - Part 2
Pets and Owners Relationship Review - Part 3

Pet and Owners Relationship Review - Part 4
Pets and Owners Relationship Review - Part 5

Check Out these Awesome supportive sites:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Destonians
Destonian Social Network
Self and Living Store
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site

Day 243 – Mean Character – Back Chat Dimension – They are so Lazy – Self Commitments to Live

Please reference this blog for further perspective:
Day 242 – Mean Character – Back Chat Dimension – “They are so Lazy”

When and as I see I am going into an irritation based on allowing backchat to direct me in my living, I stop and breath, and realize that this emotion of irritation is based on me not taking responsibility for my ownthoughts as backchat and blaming others for things that I myself are doing as well. I realize that I need to perfect my own living and thus become an example for others, blame and irritation just reflecting the opposite and a point of denial and dishonesty within myself of me doing it as well.

I commit myself to not allow a point of backchat to direct me by becoming aware of it in the moment and using my breath and physical body to move myself to not participate.

I commit to each time the backchat comes up of another is lazy, I stop and breath, and bring it back to myself and see where it is that I am being lazy.

I commit myself to walk the correction in my living within seeing were I am being lazy in my day and changethat so I am effective and productive and can become someone who can be trusted to do what is necessary and can help out.

I commit myself to let go of the desire to blame by becoming observant within why I am going into this blame, what am I not facing within myself, and how can I change this to be supportive of myself and others around me.

When and as I see I am going into a point of judgment towards others as lazy and become angry because I perceive myself to be doing more, I stop and breath, and realize that this is not an accurate portrayal of reality but based on my self interest to feel superior and get pity form others for nice feelings within me.

I commit myself to investigate all the judgments that come up within me and bring it back to myself and see where it is that I am actually judging myself and thus want to make others this way as well.

I commit myself to stop the thoughts as pictures in my mind that others are doing less, and see where it is that I can do more, where I can contribute more in self honesty and stop this blame of others as it’s not in fact real or accurate to what is real in reality.

I commit myself to breath through the emotions to go into anger towards others and make a ruckus and investigate why I am looking to create conflict, what is it that I want, and stop this self interest through writing and living the correction.

I commit myself to breath and see all within reality, all considerations, and hear all sides of the story before I rush and judge or make a definitive decision on something or someone.

I commit myself to walk the solution and consider others as I would want to be consider and live.

When and as I see I am going into this point of spitefulness towards others due to this backchat thought of they are so lazy and following it, I stop and breath, and realize that this is not a fair assessment of someone, I am judging them based on my own agenda and desire to be more then them, and thus realize this is abuse to another and I am being an abuser to life.

I commit myself to stop spitefulness and not accept myself to become this, I immediately flag this and investigate what it is that I don’t want to see within myself and want to blame on another and go to the point of wanting to seek revenge.

I commit myself to stop the abuse in spite and revenge for another as this is outright abuse and not acceptable nor necessary to solve conflicts.

I commit to walk solutions with others in compromise and let go of the thoughts that make me vs. them type outlook.

I commit to walk as equal with others and let go of my thoughts as mind that try to sabotage myself or others.

For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to LIfe
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
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Day 242 – Mean Character – Back Chat Dimension – “They are so Lazy”

For further reference on the mean character, please read these following blogs:

Day 237 – Walking with Others – Why People see me ...

Day 238 – Mean Character – Militant Biatch
Day 239 - Mean Character - Self Commitments
Day 240 – Leadership and the Mean Character
Day 241 – Leadership and the Mean Character – Self Correction to Live

Here looking at my back chat in terms of when this mean character come into play within me, where I will become this person as being mean towards others in my world, and I see it’s created and thus generated through this backchat thoughts of “They are so Lazy”. This is within a point of me not having something be easy and smooth in my world, and thus I have to put extra effort in based on another person not competing there responsibilities. I realize though within this to be determined and moved based on others actions and thus allow myself to be trapped in the mind as blame when I don’t know for facts the reasons for such absentness, I will be determined and enslaved to these needs in myself of having others compare to my work effort and thus going into a immediate blame if it is not complete.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an anger within me that is exerted out in my words of harshness and abrasiveness towards others when I initially allowed and accepted the backchat thought of others that they are lazy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow and participate in the thought of they are so lazy by accepting the energy as anger and irritation to consume me into blame towards another and a superior stance towards them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry and irritated at others in my world that I have thought this thought about that they are lazy and immediately compare them to me in what I am doing, and always judge them as not as productive as me in what I am doing and contributing to others in my world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be blaming others for the effort I put in to my day and thus create more of this anger emotion because I see myself having to work harder then others because in my mind I have defined them as lazy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in judgments towards others as lazy and not as hard working as me, and thus fuel this anger and irritation when I have made a judgment in a situation that they are indeed being lazy again.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge another as lazy based on images in my mind as screenshots I memorized in where I judge these people as lazy in their day to day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create screenshots in my mind of moments in timethat are really but illusions and thus determine the physical here in what is going on as a picture in my mind from the past that is based on my perception within a judgment of superiority rather then actually seeing what was really happening in reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become part of the problem and thus create moreconflict and tension within the environment I am in rather then become a support equal to how I would want to be treated, and realize that I can direct the physical into solutions with others if I let go of my judgments of what’s going on which indeed is blinding me from really seeing reality but only what I want to see to feed my self interest in being superior over others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become blinded to reality based on accepting this thought of backchat as ‘they are so lazy’ where I use it to my advantage to be seen as more capable then the other and try to prove this through a point of me vs. them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become vengeful towards others based on believing that I am justified due to the backchat thoughts in my mind that I allow to direct me and thus act on them by being spiteful towards others and mean within my way of acting with them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by my self interest in really trying to be seen as more then others and use the backchat thoughts as ‘they are so lazy’ to justify my actions of abuse and meanness towards them so I can feel empowered and special cause in my mind I have made me right and them wrong.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a polarity within my reality and in my mind as me vs them and thus allow these back chat thoughts as ‘they are lazy’ to direct me into behaving in a way to create this scenario where I win and others lose.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from others and the solution to this life and living in this world of being equal and one and treating others in this way, to create a communion with others and opportunity for solutions in cooperation and support for and by all.

Self Commitment Statements to follow.