--Consequence-- day 12

--Consequence-- 

Consequence, a dread hangs over me, a fear so deep i can not sleep 

Sleep becoming tough as i find my will is shakened

in the face of this beast i have made my bed forsaken

I don't know why i was so foolish and lacked common sense, 

the sense of the (wo)man that have no life friends 

why harm life in such ways to build such an army 

an army of my demons there here and they found me 

the demons is myself as my thoughts, feelings, and emotions 

the mind as the enemy oh no that has always been my homie 

so good and so glad when all was going well, 

but when consequence came a knocking, i knew it was going to be hell 

though this is not the fate of all, oh no, there is courage 

the courage to face self where we are called, oh let's hurry 

called by life itself 

no more games no more playing, time to strap my boots on and build that will 

brick by brick, word by word, step by step 

self forgiveness is here and will be our sure siren 

sirening us to move and take action before it's too late 

consequence is here, sorry death is no escape

Shame - Part 1 - Living this as a statement of self correction through self forgiveness - Day 594

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Shame

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be indebted in the emotional experience of shame in the sense of weakening my life force as a point of punishment and harshness against who i am as a being when i accept and see i have allowed this experience of shame to be manifest as a being i have become that harms and abuse myself as life, where instead of punishing and diminishing me, i learn from this experience once and for all as the experience of doing harm onto another and within that allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from the life/being of the other which is equal and one to me, and through this understanding and learning, once and for all change myself to stand as the living solution as who i am to no longer accept and allow this harm and abuse of self and so others to be done again, living the statement enough is enough.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to within shame desire to drown in it and experience myself as the most evil and worst being that exist, when i see, realize, and understand the real grace and integrity is within who i am and how i will stand up within myself in the gift that is the shame experience of the emotional baggage that accompanies it to stand within it as my self responsibility to stop in all ways my thoughts, my words, and my actions that creates and outflows within to the without any form of harm that is done onto another and cause another to experience themselves less then what is best for all.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create an experience within me where i abdicate my responsibility to change who i am within my core as my self honest being awareness as i am fully and understand and realize my full responsibility for every word i speak, every thought i have, and every action i make is equal and one and will create an exponential outflow for better or worse that will create abuse as my outflow or will create a life giving measure that i have equally given to myself as i walk the change process within myself to the without to never allow and accept self abuse and thus allow the abuse of my actions, thoughts, and words to be done onto my world and physical reach, and so within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be abusive and harmful within my own mind and within my own thoughts toward myself, and thus accept and allow these abuses to be lived out in my reality onto others because i am not changing this experience within myself due to fear, laziness, and/or lack of will.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire to run away from the experience of shame as emotional energy i experience within my body as i stand within my self core and realize i am no longer standing within the self as what is best, but allowing and accepting the thoughts of abuse and harm to be participated in within me and lived out in my actions as spite, manipulation, fear, and abdicating my responsibility for who i am within and as my thoughts, words, and deeds.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to live as a statement of who i am in my living that i don’t have the will to change my abusive behavior and so continue to live self abuse and self harm which will be lived out in my reality as abuse and harm to others, and thus i forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to see the gift in the shame experience and through this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not yet have the will to once and for all stop this behavior of self harm and move into a correction process of my self core self honesty where i know the truth of me and who i am, and so do whatever it takes to stop self abuse and live the solution for self in what is best for all so my life beingness can manifest in my highest potential and thus become a plus one for life here in what is best for all as i realize i am the creator of myself and thus my reality as me.

I commit myself to see the emotional experience of shame as a point of support and use this experience to confirm and apply in my living application of who i am within my inner self core to the without to no longer accept and allow this experience of abdicating my responsibility to change myself in my highest honor as what is best for self and so standing and living this as my living declaration of who i am in my reality as a being that supports all in what is best for all as i have proven it within myself to do what is best for self as i change the experience of outflow that created the emotional experience of shame as self abuse to stop and live the solution as my living thought, word and deed until proven in my living reality that i have changed and the shame experience is no longer present as me.

I commit myself to live the word grace as a grateful pace where i stand in gratefulness when this experience of shame comes through and immediately within this grace apply my self commitments of living self forgiveness to forgive myself for the errors of my ways that cause evil in my reality, which is living what is best in reverse, causing harm and abuse as my outflow and using the grace of life to walk the change process i have been gifted to no longer allow this abuse to be lived ever again.

I commit myself to stop all thoughts within myself of self abuse as harm and ill will onto myself in my thoughts, by immediately in real time application apply self forgiveness and changing my actions to stand in the commitments of life giving self, as a way to live in what is best as i learn and understand myself through the for-giveness i give to myself and so can equally give to others as i prove within who i am that i am worthy of life and worthy of standing within and as my self honesty self core point to be an example as life as i have proven and lived this for myself first and foremost in my direct reality and within my self core self honesty point where i prove and so stand as the example in what is best for all as what is best for me.

I commit myself to stop the errors of me as shameful acts, which i have redefined as the a-sham-expression, and start living the real self of who i am as a life giving being that has changed my living will from self harm and self abuse to self care and self love in a grace of giving me the opportunity to forgive and live again in what is best as i learn and grow through my breathes as a being that can stand and support myself to live here in what is best in what is common sense and supports self in my own living application and then by the grace of life here give this understanding and learning of my living to others as a gift as i have given to myself.

Thanks for reading and please feel free to leave any comment or questions if you see fit.

www.lite.desteniiprocess.com - Beginner Course in Desteni I Process
http://www.eqafe.com - Library of Existence
www.destonians.com - Desteni Group Support Network
https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesteniUniverse/ - Desteni Group Facebook Page
https://www.facebook.com/WLthroughgarbseyes - My Personal DIP Sharing
http://www.desteni.org - Main Website
www.patreon.com/earthhaven - Life Community Building Network

Embracing Change - Day 488

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In a very short time my life’s direction has the potential to change and is going to change quite drastically. At work, the person above me unfortunately passed away suddenly where I am as well as many others faced with filling the responsibility this being stood as. So it’s purely based on circumstances and initial positions that each one was in before this event happened, and now as I speak personally, I have to become more effective, more disciplined, more skillful, and embrace this change to operate in the best of my ability. I don’t necessarily want this position I am in though I am grateful as this will challenge me in ways that I haven’t yet had the opportunity to face.

I have in the past faced this point in a smaller scale so I realize I do have the capability to do it, what is different now is that I am more responsible and essentially standing in a leadershipisque role, which brings up fears and anxieties within me. I see these fears activate right as I open my eyes in the morning, a deep experience of dread washes over me and it seems like the world is going to shit and that I am heading for doom as I move into the unknown. So I have been practice waking up in self forgiveness and moving myself through that experience because I see that it’s not real and that it doesn’t in fact determine what and how my day will go, I determine that. I realize if I stay in that energy and allow it to fester by participating in it, it does over take me and possess me, so being self aware in those first moments as I wake up is important to move into a productive day as I direct it rather then a destructive day in energy and thoughts that are compromising.

I am feeling this dread point come up more and more and also within this I am seeing this experience of ego coming up, so there is a seesaw happening where I am moving from absolute fear and dread to wanting to be better then others and be noticed by others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a point of self victimization based on this feeling of dread and fear come up within me when I participate in thoughts such as ‘I am going to die’ or ‘I am going to miss my opportunity to become life’ or ‘I am going to fail at my mission with my business’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the fear energy where I participate in it as it moves from my stomach area up into my chest, filling it up into my head, and then allow the thoughts to overwhelm me where I move away form people and isolate myself as insecure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have this experience of overwhelming dread come over me as I accept and allow myself to participate in the thoughts of dread and fear and death and not move into my physical breath here and move into physical action so I can stand through this energy and move myself with physical deliberateness and live my change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a fear that I will not make it in my business or I will die before I get a chance to do what I want to do here and not see, realize, and understand that I am committed to walking my process and have shown steadfastness within this venture.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to isolate myself as I accept and allow these thoughts to come over me that I am going to experience dread instead of moving into a point of physical movement, self change, and living words that will support me to live action that will be best with life instead of restricting myself and going into the energy possession of fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compensate with this insecurity feeling to become more pushy and aggressive where I am showing my strength as ego and becoming more rude within my behavior so I can show I am strong and in charge when in reality I am isolating myself form the solution and harming others through my words and behavior through and as aggression energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become insecure within myself and so feel like I have to compensate by being superior on the external reality.

I commit myself to in the mornings take a breath, do self forgiveness on the points that are here, and move through it by living the word excitement as a moving with more physical energy and smiling as I move.

I commit myself to say ‘I am going to have a productive day where I check off the tasks on my list with joy’.

I commit myself to live the word joy by being spontaneous with others throughout my day and communicating this with words of support and encouragement to live what’s best for all.

I commit myself to let go of the ego by humbling myself to others and see myself in them as I am them and source what I can learn from them so I can grow and share with them so they can equally benefit.

I commit myself to live the word growth as I learn from others and ask questions to investigate the points at work I will need to understand with a passion and vigor to do the best I can do.


Check Out these Awesome supportive sites:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Others Walking This Process
Destonian Social Network
Self and Living Store
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site

Day 308 - Are you in Control of your Mind or are you Mind Controlled?

What I have understood through the desteni material and realized through my own practice of the tools they share through the ‘process’ that is recommended to walk is that the mind is not just a simple thing that is to be mistaken for a part of human life, we have never really spoken about the mind in any authority as we do with the physical world because we have never understood why in fact we speak as thoughts within our mind, and where and how these thoughts and thinking are created within us. We know the physical in a sense because we can see it, dissect it, study it tangibly, and test it to gain a relative definition and understanding of what the physical is in our world, with the mind though such as a thought, we can do none of this. We know the effects of these thinking patterns have on the behavior of a person and at times what feels like possessions that come over us through bouts of emotion or feeling that are created through the thinking, but again, no one can explain in detail and specificity, where emotions and feelings come from, how in our body/mind they are created, what are they for, and questions such as how can they be natural if we know nothing about them? 

This is self honestly for yourself to consider and have a look at in your own life, you can see evidence of this involuntary and absolute certainty of the mind creating these thoughts and emotions within an anger outburst for instance, it comes up due to thoughts accumulated towards another over and over that can not be voluntarily stopped, and then the emotions will rise and rise until eventually you will be triggered by an external force and blow up and release the energy of anger within what has been accumulating.  So we are moved due to our thoughts and then the accumulation of energy through the thinking of these thoughts over time to then have a outburst that is not self directed nor self controlled, but is what feels like forced through the mind to engage in the environment in this way as a release of all the energy built up within oneself, so the question here is are we really in control as we presume we are or is it all our mind?

We speak often of mind control, like monks and sages having control over there minds and thus being able to direct there body into extremes within human capacity that the ‘average’ human couldn’t believe could be possible. I remember when I was in primary school, a father came in and he was a tae kwon do master/teacher, so he was highly trained in this martial art, and he said something that completely baffled my young mind at that time. He said he sat still for 8 hours with out moving once. I couldn’t believe that this was possible, I put myself within his shoes and tried to imagine myself being able to sit for 8 hours, and I just could not fathom that it was possible, I didn’t have the patients, the control of my mind and my body to stay put for that long, but the question still remains is, is it beyond the human capacity to control the mind and thus direct self for instance in this case to sit for 8 hours? No, as proof of this tae kwon do teacher, it is possible, one need to use tools, and realize in physical reality how this is possible and walk the steps to master it. The imagination of me as a child though was not controlled and thus was not directed within reality in common sense, so I completely got possessed by this line of thinking in my imagination, and from that point on never believed it would ever be possible for me to do such a thing, it’s too hard, I am to impatient, I would be so bored, what would I do, and so never allowed myself to walk this path as I had given up before I even tried due to the mind controlling and possessing me into the imagination thought pattern of defeat.

Now, here this is an interesting way of seeing our reality, me as a child in this instance, being taken over in that moment by the mind and absolutely giving up before I even tried, and really having absolutely no desire for movement to do anything in this sort of manner, of controlling the mind, having self discipline, mastering patience, breathing through uncomfortablity, angst, and committing myself to become a person who is able to direct myself to do something that is not within the realm of what I could believe myself to do. Although I don’t advise to sit in one spot for 8 hours, the act of self discipline, self control, mind control, and stability this teacher showed is quite honorable thing though as it definitely takes a form of effort and self will and mastering one’s own capacity of belief and stimna.

But my point here is the point of where the mind as me as a child so easily took me to self defeatism, self giving up and giving in, self sabotage as these thoughts and imagination scenarios, like a tv show going off somewhere in my mind in another realm or dimension within my body I can’t, see, touch, nor smell, but it in all ways has absolute control of who I am. And what kind of human being did this create within me as this mind that I was listening to and allowing and accepting to direct me in this one instance out of countless instances within my life up to the point of finding desteni, it brought me to become a person that is not in control or has little to no self will and thus within this outlook of myself brought on no real point of self respect or self directiveness. I suggest to read my earlier blogs for proof of this claim and evidence of the way in which I saw and behaved towards myself and my world, all within the starting point of self sabotage and self inferiority, and I am sure you will recognize these patterns as well within yourself.

The mind has complete control of the human being in this life, we don’t really know what this mind is nor what it consists of or operates from or as, and thus is this something we should blindly trust and become directed by so easily as we do? Is the mind a point of life affirmation and creating an optimum world and betterment for the life that is here? No obviously, ok, if not, why not? We can see through the evidence of this world, this creative power we call our mind is not our own, is not self power as life power as self direction, but has a mind of it’s own within our minds as our physical, quite a tongue full, lol, but worth investigating. Study and research the links for more unprecedented and mind blowing material, videos, articles, and first hand experiences with walking the mind of self, and how one can walk a process to control it and thus direct it not only for what is best for self, but what is best for all to create a world worth living in. 

The mind is not the enemy nor the victor, it is us, we have to take self responsibility as it and direct ourselves in all ways of considering life in equality and what is best for all, using the mind as an equal part in this equation through accepting and allowing what is best in self honesty, and always correcting self to live in this standard into eternity. This is not a process that can be walked alone, there is support and much research done on the mind and self within it, I suggest investigate desteni to find out more. 

I leave you with another fitting quote by Loa Tzu, enjoy:

“If you correct your mind, the rest of your life will fall into place.”

For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Free Desteni I Process Lite Course for All Ages
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to Life
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki
Equal Money System Website
Equal Life Foundation



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Day 115- Self Sabotage Character: Judging My Backchat – Self Corrective Statements

I commit myself to stop the judging of the back thoughts in my mind the moment I see that I go into judgment, through using my breath and saying ‘stop, delete’, continuing this until the judging and thoughts stops.

I commit myself to stop the point of self sabotage within the point of seeing that I am having certain thoughts, where I stop the judgment of myself for having thoughts as I realize and see that the thoughts are me, and thus I can direct them once I accept them as me, so they stop having power over me.

I commit myself to stop the polarity playout of bad/good thoughts, and thus see direct of what the thought is, so thus I can self forgive it, and stop the participation in it within seeing it as me and thus simply changing the starting point. So I commit to stop the point of separation with the thought in having a feeling towards it, stopping the friction of facing it, so thus it can be faced and walked through.

I commit myself to walk the understanding of the mindconsciousness system in where I see and thus can direct the thought creation to be equal and one with it, so thus I can direct it by stopping the participation in it, and through understanding it, I will essentially become it as the creator in full awareness, and then be able to walk it into the starting point of self honesty by stopping all the separation and walking what is best for all here as breath, to eventually having no thoughts as I am here as the physical.

I commit myself to observe and thus become clear with the origins of what the back chat is, so I can see it and thus when it comes about again I can see it for what it is and realize that it is not who I want to live as, and so direct the back chat by stopping the participation in it through deleting it, and from here walk into the physical more by letting the thoughts as back chat go through obviously the tools of writing, self forgiveness, and selfcorrection in living.

I commit myself to walk self discipline in all parts of my world and including this point of stopping my thoughts through direcly stopping it, until it ends.

I commit myself to stop all points of self sabotage, by stopping the participation in this character that was activated as self pity in this point, and thus walk what I have to face as myself as my backchat through writing and self correction until it is done.

I commit myself to stop all emotional and feelings related to my backchat and thus stop energizing it through my reacting to it with energy, and thus stopping the life of the back chat by ending this relationship of me giving the thoughts energy.

I commit myself to stop denying what is in my mind and take responsibility for it and face it, write it out, do self forgiveness, and stop participating in it when it come up, accepting it as me and simply realizing that it needs to stop as it supports nothing that is life.

I commit myself to walk through the fear I have towards the thoughts I create and the mind, and realize that there is nothing to fear as it is what it is, and simply face it and breath, and walk the correction, that is the only way to stop it and correct the point, by facing me as it.

I commit myself to push to stop the judgment of the thoughts and thus breath through all physical reactions, realizing the trigger points, and thus walk the acceptance and thus the correction by ending the participation within it by simply letting go of the attachment to the thoughts through breathing and stopping it by deleting the point after the writing of the point is complete.

For Further Support, Please check out Links:

Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to LIfe
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki

self judgment, self help, stopping self hate, self commitment, change, life obstacles, self will, self correction, back chat, secret mind, desteni, journey to life, 2012, eqafe