Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Day 229 – Control Freak Character – Arrogance and Deception




I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe myself to be better and more able to handle work loads then others because within myself I have believed myself to be more in tune and able to handle the demands of my work then others, and also that I can’t depend on others to get it done the work done like I can, so I’ve created an air of arrogance towards others based on a resentment that I have created because I believe I am doing more work and I am not being recognized for this.

When and as I go into a point of belief that I am more equipped and able to handle the demands of the work over others and then become arrogant in a belief that I am not being recognized, I stop and breath, and realize that this arrogance is based on me seeing myself within a if this, then that scenario, where I see me as the only point that will do the work sufficiently and so then I should get all the benefit and praise. When I am not getting this I will get angry with others and act rude because I believe I am justified in doing so because I deserve more then them. I realize within this that I am not justified as I have created this belief in my mind and have not considered all the components seen and unseen in self honesty of what others do and have done, and thus am only considering my side of the story in my desire for praise.

I commit myself to let go of this point of belief that I am more equipped and able to do the work over others better, and work on my work and stop the point of desire for praise and to be more then others.

I commit myself to when I go into this pattern of arrogance towards others, stop and go back to my physical work until I have sorted this point out within writing and walked the point to an understanding within myself as solution that is equal for both and no abuse exist any longer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become arrogant because I believe myself to be more dependable then others and that I can always be trusted to do the best job. I realize that within this dependability, I have fallen on this point and not been able to complete what it is I set in front of me to do, but then blame others for the same points I do myself.

When and as I go into this point of blame and arrogance at others and not even fulfill this within myself in what I am blaming of another for, I stop and breath, and do not accept myself to go there, as I realize that this is not fair and not self honest as I am causing blame and abuse, but being deceptive within myself because I am doing the same thing.

I commit myself to not allow myself to go into a point of blame and arrogance towards another and investigate immediately what is it that I am not facing within myself and stop the lying and deception of myself and to others.

I commit to stop the blame of others, and start walking my own process of self doing and living, letting others walk there process, assist if I can, and support myself to stand equal with others in actually living what I speakand stop my hiding in blame and arrogance when I have no right to or foot to stand on.

I commit to stop my deception within lying to others within the blame towards them and manipulating to be seen as more then them so I can be seen as special..

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be manipulative in trying to down size others and make myself look better because within me I am not confident and thus use arrogance to hide this fact that I am really self insecure. I realize and see that these points are showing the lack of care I have towards others, but only looking to make myself more so I can get ahead. This causing others to be seen by myself not in what is real and in equal value, I realize this is not life and is not who I want to be towards others.

When and as I go into a point of reacting in arrogance towards another to hide my own self insecurities and thus try and seem more then others to get attention, I stop and breath and do not accept this, as I realize that it is not what is really happening within me as I am manipulating others to make myself seem more then I am, and this is not who I want to be and stand as, as I wouldn’t want another to do this to me.

I commit myself to not accept myself to go into this point of manipulating others to get what I want, by saying ‘no I don’t accept myself to walk in this way of gaining over others and using rudeness and deception to get ahead.’

I commit myself to let go of this insecurity and walk the process to be self-sufficient and do the work to the best of my ability in what it is that I am to do in self honesty and equal consideration of all involved to the best of my ability.

I commit to stop the competition with others and stop the arrogance, because I am equal and one to all other life that is here, I am not more special, I commit myself to stop participating in this desire to be more then others, and walk the physical actions of showing my support of equality towards others as we are all life and this is what life is equal in value among all.


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