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Day 235 – Hitting a Squirrel
“The other day I was on my way to work, and on my way, I go down a big hill, it’s quite an enjoyable ride because I go into a foresty type area on the bottom, and the trees are cool.”
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to go and drive through this portion of the street because of the feeling of calmness and tranquility that goes through me when I enter the portion of trees that covers my whole car.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be enthralled by this feeling of calmness and tranquility because I am addicted to it based on the fact that most of my day is spent in mental and physical stress due to allowing my thoughts to continual bother me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to feelings and emotions within myself, and thus miss the reality right in front of me where in in this case I end of abusing life in the ultimate sense by killing it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to miss the reality of the squirrel going by and be lost within these feelings of calmness as I went through the trees as I have attached the trees as a place of peace instead of simply seeing it for what it is a place of where more trees reside.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to escape the mental stress within desiring to be under these tress on my morning drive being in my head looking forward to this pass instead of in my physical body paying attention to the road.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get lost within these nice feelings within my body and thus not push myself to stop them and let them go to thus be able to direct myself in the physical and be fully present.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become lost within the negative emotionalfeelings in my mind and body in where I desire to escape these emotions because of the overwhelmingness I can participate within at times.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by energy within a negative andpositive polarity outplay in and throughout my day where I will resist one and crave the other, causing an unbalance in my living and not really living the physical because I am in my mind causing feelings and resisting my normal mental state which is usually stressed.
When and as I see myself going into this point of desire to escape and thus find something peaceful to do that will give me good feelings to resist and escape the emotions of stress and overwhelmingness I participate within, I stop and breath, and I realize that this way of living through the mind and being directed by energywill cause me to be unstable and miss reality. I realize that this is very consequential, as I am not considering what is really in fact going on and stuck in an alternate reality in my illusions that are not real and can take me out there to far places.
I commit myself to stop my mind from directing me into desires to escape into doing peaceful things, by not participating in these thoughts, and walking the correction within saying no I stop escaping, I am here in my body, and I walk the physical in focusing on all that is here as me.
I commit myself to move myself until I am here within my physical body, and I can immediately place myself in my physical and be here, to become aware and direct myself in the best way I am able to.
I commit myself to embrace myself as breath, and push myself to become aware of it in each moment, so I have the best opportunity to avoid any accidents or abuse I may inadvertently cause.
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