A Lady's Journey to Life: Day 225 - Control Freak - Must Stop the Feelings to Be Liked

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Day 225 - Control Freak - Must Stop the Feelings to Be Liked

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a point of uncertainty and fear of hurting another persons feelings within giving direction to them because within mysef I have an inherent need that I allow and accept within me of this desire for people to like me, and thus I realize and see that I will compromise myself and my standing within my pricnples for a feeling of being liked and accepted rather then standing within a poinr of responsibility and doing my responsibility to the best of my ability.

When and as I see that I am going into this emotion of feeling uncertain and bad about directing myself, I realize that compromising my standing for a feeling is compromising who I am within integrity and so I stop this point of self compromise and stand no matter what in all ways in what is best for all. I commit myself to stop and breath, and have a look at myself in self honesty when I see I go into uncertainty within myself, assess where I stand, and immediately walk the correction I see that will align with what is best in that moment for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a point of desire to be liked and to be seen as this idea I want to portray to others as a cool or special person to get a feeling that I am liked rather then be who I am within the moment in the consideration of what I am doing and how I can do it to the best of my ability not influenced by feelings or ideas in my mind, but be self directed.

When and as I go into a point of seeking to portray a specific way of myself to others in desire for nice feelings, I stop and breath, and realize that I am doing this based on compromising who I am for others acceptance which is not acceptable as this calls for me to be enslaved to others within them liking me or not rather then be free and able to direct myself in self acceptance. I commit myself to when and as I go into a point of desiring to be seen within a specific way in front of others and I start to go into my mind in ideas and desires, I stop and breath, and say, “no garb, I am not going there it’s not worth it” and continue to move myself in breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take responsibility for my own feelings of uncertainty within myself of how I am within each moment, and so desire points of self interest of being liked and having attention be put on me from others so I can feel good about myself rather then walk the point of accepting myself, embracing the moment as me, and walking as who I am in acceptance of me and the other. I realize this brings freedom within the situation and an openness between all involved to grow and expand ourselves because we are really hearing each other rather then in our minds scheming ways to get energy through trying to impress and out wit.

When and as I see myself go into the desire to impress and scheme in my mind to get the others attention, I stop and breath, as I realize I am going into a point of self manipulation and manipulating the other through nice words or fake faces to gain attention for myself rather then direct the situation in the best way possible in common sense. I commit myself to stop and breath, and do not accept myself to go into this desire to impress and gain attention through directing the moment in the physical by moving myself and breathing out quickly to get me back to the physical so to stop the mind from directing me.