Day 228- Control Freak Character – Perfecting Things that Don’t Need Perfecting

Here I am looking at a point of where I will make things look perfect to the visual eye, and waste sometimes hours of my day in getting it to this perfection, where in the long run it made no difference to the function and outcome of whatever it is I was working on/with, but only satisfied my own interest of getting it to be perfect. At times, a visual perfection is required within what I do, but it’s for me to take responsibility for myself and not waste time on things that are irrelevant. I find I will do this only for my own desire to have it look in a certain way so that I am satisfied, not realizing the consequential outflows this has on others time and effort where I don’t put my time and effort to good use as it could be used.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get fixated on a point within the work or project I am doing were I become obsessed about making the look or design of it be perfect within the way it will present to others, and so become very strict and abrasive to others when they try and tell me that this is not necessary and I am wasting time.

When and as I go into a point of fixation and obsession about having something look perfect, I stop and breath, and realize the amount of time I am wasting within making this point perfect because I realize how much time I sit and can waste to get things aligned perfectly or looking in a way I desire, which for the purposes of completion of a project is not necessary.

I commit myself to stop and breath when I see myself go into this point of obsession and fixation, and consider the whole of the project or what it is I am doing, and so use my common sense to see if it’s relevant, and stop it if it is not needed to be done within self honest assessment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become fixated on a specific task because I believe that who I am is being defined based on the outcome of this project, so I desire to make the look of it perfect especially as I define the picture presentation of things to be the most important point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the most important point of anything is the way it look, when I realize that all points are equally important and all points should be balanced according to the equality equation within all that I do.

I see this is understood within always self honesty, so thus I commit myself to walk self honest and walk a balance of equality within all that I do.

When and as I go into a point of defining myself by the outcome of a project, I stop and breath, as I realize I am not determined by how others perceive me within the project being done or how it look, but what the project was projected to do and how much I completed the task I was set to do to help benefit the group in the goals that were set.

I commit myself to when and as I go into a point of compromising the project to make myself appear more perfect then is necessary and thus fixate on trivial things such as a look of a project (when not needed), I stop and breath, and let go of this belief that I have to impress others with the look or visual presentation, and walk the physical requirements of what is necessary to make it look appropriate and the best I can make it and so stop the wasted time when it is not necessary to be done.

I commit to stop myself when I see I am going into the desire to perfect it due to wanting to be seen in a specific way, by saying ‘no, I stop, this is not necessary to do these extra things, I commit to stop wasting time on perfecting things that do not need perfecting.” And push myself to stop.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and control everything that is being presented to others to look perfect so I can feel ok within myself that I did make it perfect.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself by the perfection I can do within what I do rather then perfecting my living and considering everything I am doing relative to others and myself, because it is compromising myself stability and others stability, and compromising my time and others to be more efficient in other things that need to get done.

When and as I see I am going into this point of desiring to have all be perfect and thus to get a feeling of okness, I stop and breath, and realize that this feeling of okness is not ok as it is based on me having control of everything, but I realize I can’t have control of all things.

I commit myself to stop and breath when this desire comes up to control everything, and walk what I can walk and see is necessary to be walked to come to a balance again within what I do and stop the desire to do everything myself.

I commit myself to use others help and trust that they are able to do it, and thus I commit to stand as a support for others and ask for support when I am in need of it.

I commit to stop my control to have perfection and rather live the perfection as me and teach others how to live this as well and learn from those that have done so already to live it and not just think and fixate on it in my mind and things in the physical that don’t matter in the long run.


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