Self Correction and Redefining Patience in the Context of Self Interest – Day 451

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Blog Related to this Series:

Living the Word Patience - Part 1
Redefining Patience – Impatience: Thought Dimension - Day 450

Here walking the correction process to my last blog of writing on becoming impatience with another in my world and causing consequential outflows of abuse toward my environment instead of standing as a support to get to solutions that are best for all. Thanks for reading. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow the thought that ‘she is so spoiled’ and so move within this starting point as the energy that came up as anger in relation to this thought and grab the money from her causing her to react even more.

When and as I see I am moving within an energy reaction and about to physically create consequence with another that is not beneficial, I stop and breath, and realize that the consequences that I will create in reaction is not something I want to continue creating as I realize that this causes suffering onto others and so will cause suffering onto myself.

I commit myself to when I see I am going into an emotional reaction toward another I commit myself let it go and find the point where I can take responsibility and find a solution that will suit everyone.

I commit myself to prevent any abuse I may cause by standing within this commitment and application of stopping my reactions before they move into physical consequences through breathing and doing self forgiveness.

I commit myself to not move myself if I am reacting in any way that is physical as I see, realize, and understand this is deliberate and unacceptable as it cause harm in all it’s outflows.

I commit myself to breath in these moments and move myself physically to a solution oriented action.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the experience of impatience when I justified the thought of ‘she is so spoiled’ and then allowed the anger to overtake me so I could release it again onto my niece based on a blame that she was the cause of it because she ‘is spoiled’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to move into a point of impatience when I see a thought come up where I can use it to blame another for the experience I am having to not then have to face myself in this moment and stop myself from going into this energy release of justification and blame as the impatient experience came over me and I used it to release my built up frustration that I hadn’t directed onto my niece.

I commit myself to let go of the desire to be right or be heard, and so I commit myself to use patience in the manner of preventing outcomes and outflows that are not supportive for life here.

I commit myself to stand within these moments of energy movements within applying patience where I stand in another shoes and see where I can support to move the point to a solution.

I commit myself to move into a point of stability with my environment by applying patience within what I am doing and so slowing myself down to see more direct what is happening and so can give more of myself to stand as a solution that I see in common sense.

I commit myself to walk the process of standing within a point of self leadership where I practice patience and stand as this point regardless of what my external world is showing me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my niece for my own abdication of stopping my own mind as thoughts and energies and create consequence and abuse to her and her world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame another for what I was doing myself in that moment of not hearing her out and coming to an agreement as a stable point.

I commit myself to stop blaming others in my world and find where it is that I had reacted through identifying the trigger points and so I commit to walk the process of correction within these moments to take self responsibility and move myself to change in these moments so I am stable and able to direct within an outcome that is best for all.

I commit myself to stop the point of blame onto others and find the fears and desires I am participating within in not actually facing myself and finding where I need to change and correct myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow my mind as thoughts instead of who and how I am being in physical reality toward others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse others in this world instead of stopping the abuse within myself by taking responsibility for my actions and so stopping the consequential outflow I created through following thoughts and acting in reaction based on listening to this thought.

I commit myself to find solutions with others within what can be done practically based on principles of what is best for all.

I commit myself to cross-reference and question my stand within physical reality so I can ensure I am walking what is best for all in self honesty through self introspection rather then directly moving with what is ‘normal’ as the mind pulses as energy and thinking.

I commit myself to walk the process of correction through patiences with myself in allowing myself to walk a process of correction and where and how I am able to move to a more stable point within myself of applying the tools of writing  and correction in my living.

Redefining patience in this context is to find where and how it is that I am reacting and creating an outflow of self interest rather then breathing, becoming my own self directive point of understanding and movement to correction through applying the point of slowing down, becoming aware of my breathing, and self investigating who I am being to then take responsibility for myself and move into solution oriented outflows that will support all as well as myself to be here and be part of life.

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Redefining Patience – Impatience: Thought Dimension - Day 450

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Living the Word Patience - Part 1

This past week I was with my family on vacation, there was children there as well as preteen girls where I found impatient came up quite often. I will use these memories to walk some self forgiveness on the dimensions of impatience I am still acting in. This for the living correction process I will be walking to live the redefined word of Patience I started this series off with, please see the link for this blog.

One memory in particular that comes up is when my niece was holding money and wouldn’t give it to my mom, we needed it quick because of a toll we were approaching. My niece was frustrated because she wanted to go to the store and get goodies, and we were not going to take her. Within this moment, I had a backchat thought of ‘this kid is so spoiled’ (she was having a temper tantrum), I reached back and grabbed the money out of her hand and yelled at her. She then reacted to me by yelling, so it was not a successful interaction and I did not take responsibility for myself as the adult and allowed myself to react in anger and cause abuse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow the thought that ‘she is so spoiled’ and so move within this starting point as the energy that came up as anger in relation to this thought and grab the money from her causing her to react even more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the experience of impatience when I justified the thought of ‘she is so spoiled’ and then allowed the anger to overtake me so I could release it again onto my niece based on a blame that she was the cause of it because she ‘is spoiled’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to move into a point of impatience when I see a thought come up where I can use it to blame another for the experience I am having to not then have to face myself in this moment and stop myself from going into this energy release of justification and blame as the impatient experience came over me and I used it to release my built up frustration that I hadn’t directed onto my niece.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my niece for my own abdication of stopping my own mind as thoughts and energies and create consequence and abuse to her and her world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame another for what I was doing myself in that moment of not hearing her out and coming to an agreement as a stable point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow my mind as thoughts instead of who and how I am being in physical reality toward others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse others in this world instead of stopping the abuse within myself by taking responsibility for my actions and so stopping the consequential outflow I created through following thoughts and acting in reaction based on listening to this thought.

Self correction to follow in the next blog, thanks. 

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Living the Word Patience - Part 1 - Day 449

Redefinition of the word Patience:

Pa- t - essence

Pay attention to essences –

What is the definition of essences?
A property or group of properties of something without which it would not exist or be what it is.


So the essences of ourselves that makes us exist is life, we are life on an intrinsic level and exist because we have been given through our physical bodies the existence of who we are now as human beings able to live on this earth. So this essence that has come up within my re-definition of the word patience is what I would refer to as the essence of who each one is as life. Without this essence of life, then we would not exist and we would not be here living. No life is thus not here, which then is not existing.

So within patience I for myself see within not adhering to this action it is based on myself rushing in energy, moving within an energy on a level where I miss life and separate myself from all the life that is here in my environment. Within separating myself from this essence that is here as the life essence that exist within all, I can easily go into reaction, following thoughts, getting overtaken by emotions as energies, not being aware of my breath, and creating consequences that have an effect that is harmful and creates abuse. This is so because as was describe in the word redefinition I posted, I am not giving attention to the other as life equal to myself, but becoming emotional and my behavior in reaction is not withstanding, but fleeting and inconsistent when I access impatience and deliberate abuse is the result which is not of life and not being aware of the essence of myself or another as life. Also, what is missed as the consequence of giving into the experience of impatience is the essence of creating with others, moving with others that in ways will benefit and support both, and miscommunication, conflict, and deadlocks are usually the outcomes. This expression no one can deny is what life is about, to express oneself in ways that supports one’s creativity and living with others in mutual beneficial ways through creation. Life sustains life and within expression as patience’s, when one pay’s attention to the essence of what is here as life, creation is made and what is life but creation and who we are in our utmost potential is creators.

I always find when I push myself and stand within patience’s within these moments of energy rushes that come up of wanting to become impatient with another, the outcome is so much more beneficial. This is so because mutual understanding is able to be reached through moving slower within oneself and grounding oneself into reality where what is happening directly is more easily accessed. This moving slower takes a process of stopping oneself in the moment of energy rushes, and using breath and commitment statements made to ground oneself into a focus of who one is within these moments as an example of life. So redefining the word patience as I did will more support me with a reminder of who I am within these moments of wanting to become impatience and using the tools discussed above to ground myself and so recognize myself again within the other and see what is here which is life.

Conflict is not enjoyable and gets old really fast, it also creates lots of consequence within the mind of self as well as others and physical consequences can occur to the body and the body of others if impatience’s is continued to be participated in, as this accumulates and evolves within oneself and one's world that results in anger, hatred, and then can turn into violence. So this is not to be judged if one has or is participating in such instances, though one should heed these words and start pushing ourselves into living as patience because I am amazed at how much I am overcome by the desire to live out my impatience experience onto others in my life, and equally amazed at the results when I stand in these moments and live the word patiences. Now that I have re-defined this word as paying attention to the essence of life in others, I will more and more stop, take a breath, and live this redefinition into my world because it is clear. This creating a more sustainable self and sustainable environment for all life which is the essence of what the word Patience exist as.

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How to Live Patience - Day 338

So I have written about patience in the past, and found it throughout my process of changing myself to be able to live what is best for all in all moments has steadily become a point I can support myself with. I would like to be more steadfast within it and more disciplined, but that will come with time and actually living it, so I am not yet satisfied nor at a point where I can say I am living patiences. 

I am going to place the word definition here to look at what the word means in this world:

Patience  - the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.

Interesting because I have been looking at anger today as I see this is a main trigger point within me when I go into reaction or conflict with another. It's quite cool though because through practicing patiences within my process and becoming more disciplined within stopping going into thought patterns or reactions, I have been able to see more clearly when I go into anger for instance, it's like an elephant in the room so to speak, it's quite obvious. And I find I still once I react in anger and release it through my words and actions, I go into a point of disappointment within myself like i should have known better and I should have stopped. But here it's important for me to remember that this point of judging myself is only causing a point of inner conflict and so will take longer to move through the point which will inevitable have to be transcended, and so it's quite pointless to keep judging myself for something that happened, and so just move through it and correct it. 

Anyway back to this relationship of anger and patiences, patiences I have found is a stability point for me when the reality is showing me that it garners it, and the mind reaction to this reality has always usually been a point of anger and annoyance as blame and assumption toward whatever it is that was not whatever I approved of or desired to happen or get. So I have found patiences is an application of life, of equality, of unity with others, as you are putting yourself in the others shoes and thus ensuring that the other is or will eventually become equal to you in whatever it is that you are looking at or sharing that the other has to walk a process to learn and/or integrate within themselves. 

But of course within this, one need to be self honest as self honesty is the key, because patiences by itself is not the key to living one and equal with life and all it's gifts, no, it is determined and lived out based on who the being is within the application of living patiently. So it all again goes to who you are, what you are living in each moment, and how you are applying yourself within what is happening in reality. For instance, one can be patient, but do it in a point of harm like in war or conflict, and so it's not simply to be patient in your living that matters, but what matters is who one is within the living patiently, it all is determined by self. 

Another point that just occurred to me with being patient is the desire or need the mind creates within self to move quick, the mind as we can see is always moving very fast, we are thinking in the future one second, then we are in the past the next, then we are thinking about the burn on our leg that is beginning to become irritated with the sweat from the heat, and then we look into the crowds and we are judging another for the way they dressed so 'abnormally' that day, then back in the future to the party that's scheduled for tonight, then over to next friday where I have to work a double shift, then back to the present where that bill is overdue and a fear is immediately created and I accept as me, so we are moving and actually really zooming through our minds in all sorts of direction and all sorts of dimensions creating feelings/emotions and really energy movements, and thus we are constantly wanting to move quick and go fast through our day/life, never being able to sit still, be here, and just simply breath with nothing moving within, it seems impossible.

But life, such as the natural world as we see lives patiently, slowly, a plant growing from a seed to a mature tree/flower/bush takes a significant period of space and time, our physical bodies take a significant time to grow from a baby body to a mature adult body, it doesn't happen at the speed of a thought which is quite unnatural as it's movement is so quick, but a tree growing or our physical bodies growing is all real, is all natural, is all physical, and so it takes space and time, and patiences to see it to maturity. 

So this is a cool analogy to realize that what is real, what is natural, what is physically applicable requires patiences, we require patience to live here in the physical and become the life we really are, this taking a process of self purification to really in fact live and become. We have to slow ourselves down and walk the process back to the physical, back to breath awareness, walking one breath at a time, breath by breath, stable, which indeed will require patience to see through to it's completion. This I am currently walking, and this application of slowing down I see has absolutely supported me to walk the change that I have walked so far and I know will support me to walk the rest of the points that are required to be life here as the physical.

Life I have realized is patient through supporting unconditionally within what has to be done no matter how long it will take, and allows adaption and correction when the principles are not being lived in what is best for all, but there is an end point realize, it will not continue as is so don't haste, we must remain self honest and walk the change as is necessary and required. So I will continue to apply patiences with myself until I am satisfied that I live this word as myself. Patiences redefined in it's living expression is a slowing down of self to align with breath in what is here and walk what is necessary in ensuring what is best for all until it is a reality. 

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Day 234 – Control Freak – I am Inflexible - Self Commitments to Live

When and as I see that I am going into a militant mode with others in becoming inflexible to who and how they are living in a project or point we are living together within, I stop and breath, and realize that this militant mode will only create more of the separation and resistance I am facing within this situation due to me not accepting myself to hear or see another’s view and perspective in equality, but rather want me to be right and the other wrong. I realize I can’t be equal because I am in self-interest to have it my way or the highway which will cause conflict always.

I commit myself to give myself the opportunity to breath and move myself through this desire to control and thus allow myself to open up to others words and actually hear what is being said through slowing down mymind by not allowing myself to participate within the thoughts to get my way through focusing on the others words to me.

I commit myself to move myself from the mind in these thoughts of what others should do in these moments of desire to get my way, and thus embrace the other as myself in seeing them within their shoes, how they are walking and seeing a point, and come to a solution that will work for each of us equally.

When and as I see I go into a point of desire to control and thus not allow flexibility within what it is I am doing with others, I stop and breath, and realize I am not the only one in the group others are here and are to be considered equally as I would want for myself all should get equal respect and equal opportunity to work and share themselves to find what the solution is in a point of expressing our beingnesses as life.

I commit myself to allow others to share and express themselves in what it is they are seeing and walking, and put myself in their shoes and see from how/where they are seeing, and from this equal consideration and assessment, walk what is necessary to help and support the other as well as myself in that moment in what it is we are doing.

When and as I see I am going into a point of ego where I believe I am smarter and better then another or the group, I stop and breath, and realize this is due to a desire to be seen more and given more attention to me because I am not giving this attention to myself, I am not seeing myself, and thus desire this from others.

I commit myself to stop this belief of myself that I need others to validate me as each time it come up I assess if it is ego and walk the correction by speaking the point of equality within it such as ‘no garb, I am equal with all and we all have equal ideas/perspectives in who we are, I have equal value to all’ and I can walk my own self direction in self trust through practicing this in my living.
I commit myself to see reality for what it is with others and walk the correction of remaining with the physical conditions of what problem, issue, situation we are walking in the physical, and thus stopping myself form going into a point of energy to have more then what is here as the physical.

I commit myself to walk as and with the group in doing what is best for all as I see this will be what is best for me, I commit to stop my personal interest to be seen or heard by giving this to myself through self praise and adoration of points I see I follow through on and walk in equality with others, recognize myself in what it is I committed and walked through with.

When and as I see that I am going into this point of not seeing reality but only what I want to see as ideas in my mind, I stop and breath, and realize this is heading into dangerous territory as this is accepting and allowing the mind to direct me and I realize this is not life nor real as the mind is from illusion in the head as thoughts and energies that cease in moments, thus I realize I have to walk the physical in grounding myself in what is real and slowly walk out of the mind by stopping my participation in energy and stopping the thinkingprocess ending the minds dependency.

I commit myself to remain in the physical in moments of desire to control and not see what is real by being aware of this pattern and pushing myself to not allow these desires to direct me from the mind, but move myself into my body and walk the common sense I am seeing in that moment in the physical, and then I can walk what the physical is showing me as a group assessment rather then just my own assessment to prove that is in fact real.

When and as I go into a point of not trusting others and what the physical is showing me, I stop and breath, and realize that this is my ego as the mind in wanting to get more or have attention, I realize and see within this that the ego is being activated due to the nature of the energy to have more and be more then others as like a jealous or self righteousness desire within me that moves as an energy movement of anxiety or irritation.

I commit myself to assess what all say in common sense and use others assessment and perspectives as reference for me as well as what I see in the physical to determine what in fact is real and use the principle of equality and oneness in what is best for all to walk what is need to be walked.

I commit myself to stop the belief that I know better and I am stronger then others and walk the correction through hearing what others have to offer and becoming humble by accepting others as me in seeing that they are me and walking with them as them to solutions that will work for all.

I commit myself to stop the judgment of others if they fall and support them rather then put them down as I see I fall and require this same support from others.


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Day 233 – The Control Freak Character – Inflexibility

So often I have this pain in my ankles that cause an ache within them, I asked Sunette one time what mindrelationship does this consist of and she told me inflexibility. This making sense because obviously with the ankles soar and not able to work in full capacity, I am inflexible to move my feet as normal, inflexible meaning I am limited.

I see this inflexibility often when I go into a desire to control my situation and what is going on around me, this inflexibility is usually based on a desire or an expectation I hold, and will do little to deter from what it is that I have set in my mind to do. This causing my actions to be inflexible with others not really hearing them, not considering them and who they are in the living in their lives, not considering where they come from and so only look at the points of were I will benefit and get my desires fulfilled.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become inflexible within what I am doing or who I am being with others when what I expect does not come to fruition and so I go into like a militant mode where I will not see nor allow any points of consideration outside of the expectation that I had created in my mind to live out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see life within a point of self interest where I limit myself with others due to a desire to control the conditions of what I think should happen rather then allowingthe life to live and be considered equally to how I consider myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a desire within me to control others based on believing that I know better and that I am smarter then others, justifying my actions towards them in notseeing reality for what it is and causing abuse as been done within the previous post of me making someone cry.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a person who only looks at how I will benefit and how I can meet my desires and not take into consideration the others that are also to be considered into the equation because they are in the environment with me and are equally as important as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become inflexible within what I will do or not do based on my idea of what I desire to have happen within different scenerios and will not budge even if reality is showing me otherwise.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not listen to others or hear what they have to say until I myself have proven what they say is true or not, because I desire for myself to always be the last word and the person I trust.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust others in my life an always look at others in this idea in my head that they wil fail and will not be able to do it as I will be able to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an idea in my head of others always going to fail and live this out within my living where I will not allow others to do things or move within projects where I see that there is potential or they have failed in the past, and thus deem them and define them in this way without allowing others to correct themselves, when I see and realize I make the same mistakes but give me the luxury to redeem myself within my own mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be intolerant to others If they fail and not give them a fair estimation to try again and correct themselves.

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Day 232 - Control Freak Character - I have to get the last Word - Self Correction to Live

When and as I go into a point of desire to go and have the last word with another, I stop and breath, and come to realization that it will on fuel the ego and thus cause abuse as I have witnessed many times because it is done by force and competition, not to a solid understanding between equals to come to a solution.

I commit myself to stop the desire to get the last word in by not allowing myself to continue with the train of thought, but training myself to breath through this desire, and work on something else, come to a solution orcompromise with the other, and do something else until I am stable and really can commit to walk in equality with the other without reacting.

I commit myself to stop looking at others in a point of competition in where it is always about how I can get ahead, but start to walk the point of self appreciation and self acceptance in considering who I am and what I do, and thus stop the desire to prove myself to others, as I push the point of self sufficiency within myself and correcting that which I see is able/needed to be corrected in what is best for all.

I commit myself to stop the desire to be seen by others as special in this point of having the last word, where in I go into a point of competition, I stop and commit to stop the desire to be noticed, and push the point of acceptance within me and thus accepting others for who they are.

I commit myself to start walking the focus of the physical, in the physical paying attention to the words spoken and gestures made, so I can align myself in equality with the other as the physical to become in support of what is best and solution to the conflict or issues we are having in that moment, walking the point of solution in the physical and stopping it go to my mind into separating and trying to win.

I commit myself to let go of this desire to be better then another and have them submit to me.

I commit myself to stop the point of being seen as the better person with others and thus I change my focus to what is best for all and push the point of treating all others with respect and how I would want to be treated.

I commit myself to stop the desire to have the last word and thus stop the idea that this person is better then the one who doesn’t get it in, by stopping myself from focusing on that and thus focus on all the words spoken in the context of coming to a solution for all in agreement and stopping my self interest.

I commit myself to stop defining myself by my mind, and thus stand as the physical in support of the physical as myself in making decisions in the physical through the writing and laying out all the options and pros and cons, to make a informed well executed and laid out solution pattern. 


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Day 231- The Control Freak Character – I HAVE to Get the Last Word

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a desire within me to have to get the last word in with another to feel fulfilled and as if I am accomplished within myself. I realize that within this I am only doing this because I have defined myself based on competition with others, and that it’s not even what is being said, but that I have created this urge within me to be the last one to speak so I can within myself say I won, I got the last word in, and now she will have to sit with that in her mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself based on getting the last word in where within me I feel special and smarter then the other because I was able to out wit them and have my words be the one’s that stick in there minds.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize and see that within this behavior of getting the last word, that I completely disregard the actual words, gestures, and actions of the other and only focus on how I can win and defend my place within the environment we are in.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see that within this point of desire to have the last word, I am abusing the other because I am not listening to what they are saying, but within my actions I act as if I care, but really within me all I care about is being able to win and get her to submit to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself by having the last word because I have created an idea within me that this person who is able to get the last word in is more witty and smart, and thus will have a platform from others to see them in this way as I have realized that when I am able to do this and get the last word in people react to me in agreement and excitement and it makes me feel good/special.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself by this idea I have created in mymind of how others perceive me within getting the last word when in truth it means no difference what others think and this is something I don’t in fact know, and in the meantime I am causing visual abuse to others based on this desire to be seen by others as special, witty, when I don’t have any clue what they are thinking of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to cause harm and abuse to others in visually hurting them and demeaning them for my own desires to be more then her and have a momentary feeling of accomplishment that is neither real or deserved because it’s done on the back of causing another to be hurt.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse life for my own self interest in acceptingcompetition to be better and not allowing life to be equal and have all have the ability to freely express and learn at their own pace with support from me rather then me being cut throat and deceptive.


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