Day 221 – Sports and Me Self Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as better then others within life because in sports I was able to compete with others and beat them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself through winning in a game and thus basing others from this view of myself in my mind as a winner, tough, and worthy at something.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as not worthy and not as good as others if in sports I lose.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my value based on sports competition and if I was able to succeed within it or not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create feelings of entitlement around others whom know of me and my abiity to compete, and thus if I see that they are not able to compete with me, passively make them understand this point that I am better then them.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create the need to show others i am better then them due to seeing myself within myself and reality actually less then them. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to defame who I am based on a belief within myself that inherinatly I am not good really at much, I am damaged, and thus create this need in my world to prove myself as good.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to bully and make those I saw as weak feel bad about themselves as within me I gained a form of empowerment, but this was not real I realize as this was based on the idea and belief that I was not empowered but needed others misery to make me feel better about me because then I wasn't alone in this misery. (more on this to come)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perpetuate and cause abuse to others within creating the misery I felt within me unto them because I was angry that I was not happy with myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create points of deliberate meanness and spitefulness towards those that I perceived were happy with themselves and wanted to secretly be like them, but was mean and spiteful because I couldn’t ever achieve that.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow jealousy of this point of happiness in others and not in myself, and so create abuse and hurt towards others because I realize I didn’t want to take responsibility for my own thoughts and partpication in seeing only desires to be the best and thus happy (open on later) and not the physical for real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to have the perfect life with me having the perfect look and having an easy time of making friends and being accepted.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an idea of the perfect person in my head and then compare my living situation and what I look like to that and thus always create a point of misery within me because I couldn’t match up.

More Sf and Self Corrective Statements to come.


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