Monday, October 22, 2012

Day 158- Impatiences

Here looking at a pattern that I have been excusing and participating in for most of my life and tonight while talking on a chat, I continued this pattern outright, but here I face this and stop. I participate much in impatience, for example, I will press enter in a chat without even reading what I wrote, because I did not want to take the time to check it and see if it needed to be corrected. I have written about this point in the past and done self-forgiveness on it, but obviously I have not gone in deep enough. 

I see this point being that I don’t want to stop and take the time to read through what I have written and actually walk the physical process that will take and the time it will take to do what needs to be done, and ah, not get any reward equaling positive energy from it. So it’s a point of desire that I am accepting, desire to not have to push myself and walk the physical effort that is actual labor and not going to give me positive feelings, and so walk the point in all it’s facets and considerations to completion in self perfection. 

The physical point is prominent here, I don’t feel like re-reading my words when I send them off based on laziness, I just don’t want to make that extra effort. Then I walk the reaction point which is more separation of going into fear that I will be seen as stupid, and quickly make the corrections within theacceptance that I fear being thought of as stupid by the other. I will write forgiveness on being lazy, not moving myself and fear of being stupid in tomorrows blog.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be relaxed and resting, enjoying myself with activities that I find fun, and so resist the physical labor and work that I am required to do to fulfill my responsibilities and help those within the group I am working with be it at work, at my house or in other fields. I realize that when I participate and accept this point of resistance within physical work and labor I will limit myself based on being preoccupied with thoughtsof how tired I am, how bad this is, how much I want to just do something else, how much I want to do something fun, and not be here within the task that I am walking to the best of my ability, which to get to this point require full awareness obviously here I am in my mind stuck in thoughts of resistance to what I am actually busy living and sabotaging myself with.

I commit myself to stop and breath when I see that I am going into this point of desiring to go do other things that I find fun, and resist the labor and physical work that is in front of me, where in I have to do what is required to be done in the physical and put real effort in, so I commit to stop the thoughts of resistance and backchat of why I don’t want to do it, breath through the backchat, and practice practically pushing myself in each task to do it to the best of my ability each time I am faced with this backchat, find the points that I am skipping previously, such as skipping re-reading my post before I post it, and thus walk the point of self correction to eventually get to self perfection in each breath to create the best possible outcome I can and give myself the opportunity to do so through pushing through the resistance each time they arise.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that if I focus on perfection I will miss out on the opportunity to do something fun and enjoyable, so I rush through the point to get to the point where I can relax and enjoy, and so I see that I am only focusing on my self interest and thus my own happiness not considering the consequential outflows that not walking in self perfection or the best of my ability is creating not just in my world but in the worlds of others I am effecting or thus missing the opportunity to effect/help, so thus allowing resistance and thus laziness to direct me instead of ceasing the opportunity here to walk my process to self perfection through my process of actually living it in the physical as self correction through the self forgiveness I walk here.

I commit myself to when and as I see that I am going into this point of desiring to go into self interest and get the good feelings with my own personal enjoyments, I stop, breath, and remain here in the physical pushing myself to walk in self awareness and perfect all the points I see I am able to, not accepting myself to go into resistance and skip what could look like small points to thus only get my own happiness from positive feelings, so stop the resistance and positive feelings from directing me, and walk the correction, which is walking the self perfection of me in each moment until it is done to eventually be an example for others and support as many as possible to self perfection for themselves so we can heal ourselves from the laziness and ignorance is bliss mentality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue to participate in the ignorance is bliss mentality where I know that I am slacking and not pushing myself, but go into the point of excuses such as where I pretend that I can, or I deserve it, or I am not effecting anyone, when in self honesty, I know that I am being deceitful, so I stop this point of deceit and self interest, and walk the point of correction.

I commit myself to when and as I go into a point of desiring to ignore my responsibilities and what has to be done, I stop these points from directing me, and walk into the physical as my responsibilities and complete a task until it’s done not allowing backchat to intervene, excuses to come through, or desires to direct me, I walk what I realize I have to do within completing my responsibilities in relevant terms, and then I relax and can have a moment of self enjoyment. I commit to walk what is best for all and stop my own desire for self-interest in a bubble world I have created that will pop eventually as it was never real, what is real is life and it is here in the physical, I decide.

Interview Support:

For Further Support, Please check out Links:

Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to LIfe
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki

no patience, impatience, i am so impatient, how to stop impatience, can't do anything, can't sit still, ADD. ADHD, adderall, desteni, eqafe, psychological issues, #teamlife

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