Day 16 - Commitment Phobia

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I realized recently that one of my major self sabotage point has been fearing commitments, whenever I get into a commitment with someone or something I do not last long, I get to a point where i put myself in a dire decision, and in the extreme nature of the decision that i have to make - go left or go right, I find i have been doing it in haste, in fear, within my mind, causing lots of regret later on in life and shame, and more fear. I am in a way feel delinquent in making a decision that is practical and can be best for all, so more a self judgment of not being good enough or capable, This I am seeing based on the manner in which i make decisions, where i can do it in the moment, spontaneous, but it is not my real spontaneous decision as everything in this reality is preprogrammed not for what is best but for enslavement. 

The moments one is real to direct self is when one self investigate, walk self honesty and self forgiveness, commit to living change of self that is of living substance that supports life growth, and in this walk what is best for all as in living the commitment of change for oneself until it's done. The decision being one that was self investigated in self honesyt, self forgiven to understand the flaws, and researched and understood in the fact checking, pros and cons, and living the understanding that is best. 

So it's a point of self change and self discipline, principled standing within the physical actions it takes to actually walk such a deep dive into self and a decision for instance that has to be made. This will require dedication and perseverance cause the mind/reality is not easy, it takes a point of grit but it's here as self responsibility and must be done. 

Self Forgiveness

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear i am gong to make the wrong decision, i see, realize, and understand there is no wrong decision and what is here is what one create as ones thoughts, words, and deeds, thus i see, and I commit to standing in my shoes and all others and creating a decision for myself that is best for all the best i can understand by living the process to understand all facets and facts of the decision I am about to make. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go into a form of self harm where i feel as if i do not have the ability or understanding to make a decision in my life that is best for all and will support life in it's fullest expression based on carrying my past here and seeing on all the rotten decisions i have made in specific moments in my life. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself and not forgive myself fully for the past mistakes as actions done in the physical where i did not chose a path of best for all living, and in this create a point of self abuse and harm to see myself less then others and inferior and i can never stand as an equal.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as not equal and a lesser version of life who doesn't have any real worth and doesn't really need to exist/be here cause i will just continue to make the wrong decision and harm abuse life/myself. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand the decisions made where based on not slowing down and walking the timelines within self investigation and self commitment to understand the ins and outs and fine tune the information so i can gather the facts and make an informed decision, but based on impatience i move in a way of self compromise which causes my life to be compromised and chaotic as it's not stable nor predictable but done in the moment. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to decide that i am going to live impatience and not actually walk the step by step it takes which creates my life to be stable, but continue this, which is self abdication of responsibility to make a decision in a patient manner best one can as this is best for all and common sense.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed laziness within decision making where i don't slow down, but rush cause i allow the energy of it's too much pressure, it's too much to understand, i don't know, and the energy built up of these thoughts as pressure and tightness in my chest and into my head, where i feel like i have to just do it, not seeing, realizing, and understanding that i can breathe through the energy, releasing it, and finding the solutions within the slowing down and self investigation, writing/sounding self forgiveness, and change. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become lazy and complacent in my responsibility to be my highest potential this life, and in this expect too much and so built up energy.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become robotic and just have my mind blurt out the decision in the moment and live with the consequences of the chaos that'll ensue as i did not walk the self responsibility to under-stand what it is i am deciding on and will direct my life with.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give into the mind in the hast decisions and so not care in the outcome but me getting a fix of energy as a release of the pressure i allowed within the thinking thoughts, and in desire relaxing instead of walking the decision properly.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire a release rather then breathing through the energy and walking self forgiveness until i release the energy and direct it myself back to the earth, substance, my physical.

I see, realize, and understand i am responsible for myself and my actions and decisions.

I commit myself to as best i am able to take some time and space to write out a decision i am going to make, research ways to walk such a decision, and put it into writing and myself into it where i find the facts, and make an informed decision best i am able to when and as the moments arise and come up to do such a point.

I commit myself to stop judging myself for not living the best decision that i could have made. 

I commit myself to live the word patience which is to pay attention to my life and the life of all involved, and what is in fact best for all.

I commit myself to understand what is best for all within the actions and decisions i make and ultimately what is best for all life and will birth life within who i am as my life which will support in my outer life/world as well. 

Next blog on - relationship commitment fears.

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Best for all life until it's done.

We Are, What We Eat – Day 408

This saying is quite popular in our world today and what it is implying seems to make sense because what our physical bodies are fueled and sustained by is mostly what we put into our mouths. The body is an organic system and there are certainly foods that substantiate it and foods that diminish it. A practical point to look at is why would we eat or drink something that would not support our bodies, it makes no sense, but we can then also ask ourselves a similar question such as why do we still allow billions to go hungry every day. The answer is within responsibility of oneself and one’s world, we are the solutions to these issues we are facing, we just have to change what we see that is not working, and walk this into our lives and world until it is here using common sense and the principle of what is best for all.

The food we eat if one has does some research travels long distances and get treated and processed in many different ways, so the natural original fruit getting plucked off a non chemicalized tree is like an unknown occurrence in this day and age. We don’t go and pick our fruits and vegetables from our local farm or garden, we don’t go the local farmer and get raw milk from the local cows, we don’t go and drink freshly squeezed oranges off the orange tree in our back yard, these things rarely if ever happen to the average person. There is cause for some of this, but on the norm it is because there are no localized farms or gardens that are pushed or common, and those that are not affordable. Most of our food is mass produced, and stripped of its ultimate potential for nutrition due to the underdeveloped soil it was produced in, chemicals it was sprayed with to keep bugs away, the date it reaches the mouths of those who eat being quite long as well as when at our houses the food is cooked, which diminishes a lot of the nutritional content due to the heat and the bodies molecular reactions it goes through when cooked.

“When food is heated past the heat-labile point, its chemical configuration changes. Pasteurization, deep-frying, and barbecuing are all forms of cooking where food is heated past the heat labile point. The body does not understand these new chemical configurations and does not have the enzymes to digest the food easily. However, the immune system comes to the defense of the body, and makes these undigested particles back into substances that the body can use or escorts them out of the body. We ask our immune system to do the job that our digestive system did not do. The immune system was not designed to do this on a daily basis, every time we overcook foods or over-process foods. Over time the immune system becomes exhausted and the door is opened to infectious and degenerative diseases.” – How Cooked is To Cooked? By Nancy Appleton, Ph.D.

Cooking is obviously a necessary thing in this time and space, but something to considered about the way in which our foods interacts with our physical bodies rather then going with what is desired which is a mind idea usually not conducive to the physical in itself. 

Another important factor that we should be considering and pushing in our

society is the need for these local farms and gardens as well as food that is nutritionally optimal and being nurtured in a way that nature intended, naturally and organically grown and produced. Again, I am not saying that this is possible now, but in the future when we do what is best for all, there is certainly ways in which we can develop our living situations to cooperate and co-create food that is best and optimal for all. In Switzerland they are doing just this, where they have created a project called “foodscaping, each yard is a vegetable garden and neighbors consult and plan what each will grow so they can trade.” Projects like these are solution based for the whole of the community and so these always can be scaled to the globe so all are able to take part and benefit, it’s always a matter of will of ourselves. As we know we are all in this together, so why would we not?

And so the vitamin and minerals within the foods we eat are equally linked to how healthy we will be. If we eat a balanced diet with high foods that support the body and drink lots of water, cutting down completely on refined sugars and processed foods, alcohol, and other foods that don’t support the physical, your livelihood will be significantly more aligned with what is best for your physical body and so best for you. Many people are not educated to the types and kinds of healthy eating that is necessary to live a long life, we are not taught what a well balanced nutritional meal is, and what vitamins and in what quantities they are needed to keep the physical body at it’s optimum level.

So it’s a point of responsibility we all need to take within ourselves to educate what in fact is really going on in the health industry and who are the one’s who are benefitting? What are the proper nutrients and vitamins necessary to live a healthy and sustainable life? And support the initiatives such as the Living Income Guarantee, which will help support those who are not able to support themselves in their lives have access to an income to get the food that is needed to live. This LIG initiative will also start the ball rolling for fixing the parts of ourselves and our world that don’t live up to the best we can be, spearheading project such as the “foodscaping” one above. Our whole food and nutritional way of living is in need of a great overhaul where the desire for the good of all be the starting point of how we create our world systems rather then the desire for the good of the company/profit/few/me. Many people have and are dying due to improper nutrition and care for diseases, this is preventable because there is certainly enough of everything for all to be sustained, and the food we eat should always support all to the ultimate of who we can be.

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Why BIG? – Implementing the Basic Income Guarantee in to Capitalism - Day 321

Within this world as we see there is some currently who are able to live and thrive, and there are others who are not. This ability to thrive is due to the income and money one has accumulated for oneself and one’s family, and currently most of the people in this world dont have this basic right, income to accumulate to live.  And we all deserve the right to live and thus an income because we are all the same, we all breath the same air, eat the same food, drink the same water, and have the same basic necessities we need to buy to continuing living here on this planet. So not one person can say this is not so or not fact because this is a self-evident point of life that can not be denied.

The way in which our society and system has been directed and governed has been based solely on the principle of survival and self interest, and this has been so through specific allocation and direction of where the income goes. The income only going to a select few, while most are struggling and suffering on a daily basis because this point of life as income is not guaranteed. The reason it is not being guaranteed is because of greed within the human. The point of greed will have to be sorted out within oneself and it will take a matter of will to walk through these points and transcend them to be eventually free from greed. This is already being done by many within the desteni group, for support start with the Desteni I Process Lite Course , its supportive for self realization and it's free. 

So we see within our society that we do have the ability to have the capital to give all an income, I mean, there is enough money, intelligence, resources, these things have never been the problem, the problem has been intent of the human race, our starting point to what we do. The interesting thing is that when we implement this point for all to be able to have a basic income guaranteed and thus implying as our starting point that ALL are recognized, we will create the conditions for the possibility of a heavenly earth, in the means of paradise like living. This only being born through an equality with all life, which the Basic Income will state if implemented on a global scale.

Now, currently in our capitalist system, there are those who have much power and control and this mainly through corporations, but behind those corporations is humans, so it’s important to not go into blame or abdication towards others such as the elite, corporations, and politicians for example, but to understand the point that we have created what is here today, all of us together, and thus we have the power to change it because we are the creators. We throughout time either directly or indirectly created the conditions of this world through not standing up to the atrocities or directly being part of creating them, yes, this is our history, but we have the opportunity now to correct this way of life, we have the time, we can forgive ourselves and move on and correct this world by implementing what will be best for all.

This forgiveness through the principles of oneness and equality, this is the strongest force that can stand, it has been proven through mathematical calculations, through the simple point of you are as strong as your weakest point, and if your weakest point is in equal part to all, then that will not make that point weak, but equal, which is the strongest and most stable point we can get to especially in society. So in the case that there is a point where some are not getting an equal wage for instance, they will be our weakest point and our consequence as we are currently facing now. And those who are not getting an equal wage will end up on the streets resorting to crimes in desperation for survival creating the fear and hate scenarios we see in this world today. Also, when there is an equal wage for all many crimes against humanity will be on the way to an end, such as slave labor or wars or pornography because implementing the basic income grant, a sense of equality has already been established within a realization of self to care for the other, and thus this will start to spread to all parts of our life where the correction process will then start accumulating and taking effect.

The basic income grant or BIG will create the platform to implement an equality of sorts in this world that should already be here, we recognize this within the creation of the bill of rights and so we all can understand this to be so, humans have rights to life and thus it's time we start protecting them. The BIG point can be implemented through the national governments of this world through nationalizing the corporations and business that are already in place using the earths resources, and by creating through the profit being made an understood and livable income to be given to all who are within an allotted area. Then from there one can work and buy from the corporations that support the Basic income grant and the economy and corporations will benefit equally as the people buying and working for these companies will support these corporations and business to create profit, and where jobs will be created and money will be circulated to keep the economy strong.

So it’s a way we currently can implement with the capital that we create to work for all and work for the businesses that are already here, there will of course need to be shifts in principles within what is being done now from inequality to equality, but this is all possible. And when the world is supported and all are able to live, then we can start really expanding ourselves, our creativities, and get out of this gutter rot we are currently living in, having most of the world rot while the elite get to live, and build a society of honor and integrity and who respects all life. It’s time to stop the violations of human rights and bring about changes for all to live decently in this world as a right that all are endowed with at birth and should be the first point of guarantee, support BIG where this will be possible in our lifetime.

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Day 307 – The Innocence of the Womb – Does the Fetus See it this Way?

So recently there has been a set of blogs coming up from the Creation’s Journey to Life blogs written by Bernard Poolman from the Desteni Group regarding the developing fetus in the mother’s womb. This is a natural and common practice we as humans either witness or go through ourselves as parents when a child is conceived and developing within the women, but within these blogs there is a hidden existence that has never been realized, understood, or discovered due to the unattained access that never existed until recently with the portal opening. This being the physical access of direct communication with the life awareness of the fetus itself, this possible again through the portal at Desteni. This access is the access to see beyond all and any normal human view and perception, the portal is able to access all dimensions of existence and speak to all walks of life as well as those from the non-living dimensions (from Death and beyond). So the portal has access to all forms of existence and all forms of existence's has awareness to access and communicate through the portal to the life that is here and who can hear on this planet through a girl's physical body (click links to read more on the portal).

The baby who is now being developed has been interviewed through the portal at 13-14 weeks, and is one of the most absolutely fascinating learning and realizations I have come across yet. He/she speaks about not the development of the physical body as you would have probably presumed, no he/she speaks about the development of the mind system as what we know as consciousness within and throughout the developing physical body that the baby and the mother are busy growing and manifesting. And how the mind integrates and encapsulates quite unnatural and conclusively the natural physical substance as the physical body of the fetus, it’s quite shocking to read because you instinctively want the baby as the innocence of ourselves to be in absolute comfort and protection, but within reading these conversations, you see the limiting and predatory nature the mind system really exists and integrates within us as the physical body to be birthed and lived as part of what we call life here as the human being.

Here is an excerpt from the blog titled:

Day 385: Fetal Development Stages – Consciousness Research –Week 14 (Part One)  - Creations Journey to Life

Discussion between Bernard and the Baby-to-Be (Through the Portal at Desteni)

Fetus: Let me put it to you this way: in the Mind of the Mother-to-Be, there will be a Dominant Relationship to a Parent. That Relationship is then imprinting unto the Mother (that’s Pregnant) - from her Mother or her Father (whichever parent / parental figure the mother has a dominant relationship with in their Minds), and from there that Information is then within the Child already Imprinting. Meaning – the Child is already going to Know ‘What to Expect’ in terms of the Type of Relationship that their Mother is going to have with them.

So for example, what I now see within Leila, in her mind, it’s like centralized there – is her Mother. All of that information is then imprinting into you (Leila), and the Relationship that you had with your mother, for example what parent-child relationship you had with her, how you behaved, her relationship/behavior towards you and it’s already Resonating down to me – for example. In this, what is already being programmed is how I will be in behavior/relationship to you (Leila); our parent-child relationship is already being defined based on your parent-child relationship with your Mother.

Bernard: So that would then be the Knees, because that is the Ego, Survival – ‘How am I Going to Survive All of this?’ So, then that’s why the arms are sore, because they are increasing in discomfort – because it is linked to ‘How am I going to Handle this?’, ‘How am I going to Direct this?’, ‘Who Am I Going to Be within the History of my Forbearers?’ But, that is not seen on a Personal Level that is seen on a Survival Level – Purely as Pattern; which means that even Choices that will be made later on in Life, is already being Formed.

Fetus: The Life Pattern, yes.

Bernard: These Choices will be based-on Survival and will be Based on ‘Gaining Position’, that means Competition – to Establish the Position within the Hierarchy of Beings. That then already Determines What the Being will be in terms of Capacity, because the Capacity will be Governed by the Position in the Hierarchy. “This is All I Am Able to Be” –is the Decision that is already taking shape and also “I cannot be More than This”. That is very much influenced by the Lineage of the Parents and the Parents Before and what they’ve Been in Life in general.

Fetus: The energy of that (the statements of “This is All I Am Able to Be” / “I cannot be More than This”) is experienced as like a ‘Dullness’, as if you’re in a room and you’re contained and you can’t breathe properly or effectively. (This is what the Fetus is already experiencing/becoming aware of as the Limitation that manifested into and as its Beingness with regards to the preprogramming of who/how they’re going to develop into/as based on Survival)

Bernard: Constriction – which is actually Position, because Position is Constriction, a Space-Time Relationship to All Possible Relationships within the Context of the Self-Design, which is based on What has Been Before. Breaking out of that, is in most cases Unlikely, because the Environment is going to be the Parents and the Grandparents and the Family – which Determines Space-Time Position and ‘Who I Am’, ‘Who I Will Be’, ‘Who I Can Be’, ‘What is Possible’ and ‘What is Not Possible’, ‘What is Probable’ and ‘What is the Best Approach to Survive from Birth to Death’. So Death is already Placed as the Position Outcome within the Context of the Past and how to Best Reach the Optimum Death Point through Surviving.

I also recommend these blogs as a continuation of this discussion above:

Day 383: Child Development in the Womb Research

Day 386: Fetal Development Stages – Consciousness Research – Week 14 (Part Two)

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Day 268 – Redefining the Word Loser

Loser

Please reference these blogs for further perspective on this post:
Day 265 – What Does Being A Loser Imply? Behind Words
Day 266 – What Does the Word Loser Imply? – Self Forgiveness
Day 267 – What Does the Word Loser Imply? – Self Corrections to Live


This word, loser, will have to be purified within yourself, the memories, the definitions, the beliefs, the fears you hold within it through the self forgiveness and self correction process that I have walked in the last few blogs I have referenced above. I am not completely done purifying this word loser as I still have memories and beliefs coming up within me, so I will continue my writing on this word in writings to come. But for the sake of this blog series, I will redefine it here within a point of how I see it could be walked for all in a universal purpose, what the word actually could be used for to describe and help encapsulate an action within reality.

So for Loser, we can see it as a derivative of the word lost, lost in the context of a competition, and no not the competition of ego in feeling superior over others, but the competition of here in reality to see what is best within the standards we live, and thus can be seen in what we will be walking within the equal money system for instance.

We will through test, trials, and errors walk through many different ways and means, products and services as we recreate this world into the best it could possible be. So within the different testings and trials of these different functions in life that we will use, we will have that which have proven in physical real time living to be best for all, such as a car design that is the most efficient, creative, long lasting, ect., and thus within this testing there will also be the cars that have lost. So within this context one could say ‘this car was the ‘loser’ of the testing arena, and thus car x is the best (or winner)’.

This establishing the practical use of the word ‘loser’ and thus also the word ‘winner’ as it’s not from a point of ego in making one better then the other in one’s mind reality any longer, but the word is the best in a testable, evidentiary, and practical physical reality way, it is what it is actually, there is nothing behind it or nothing anyone can interpret within it's meaning, but in it's realness of the word use it will be the 'loser' as it (place x here) lost in testing and it (place y here) is the winner because it won in testing.

We, within for instance the equal money system processing, will walk from the physical and thus live from the physical only as this is the only reality that is in fact real and able to be tested for real, so thus this is why we are in the process of stopping ourminds and re-birthing ourselves into and as the physical reality, so we are in fact real and can thus live from reality and be in reality. We are now in our minds and thus create all sorts of meanings and definitions in this word loser if you have a look, which create separation and confusion really within society. So living into and as us as physical beings here in physical reality in our presences, words, deeds, and understandings, we all will be equal and one in understanding of what the physical is and what words are in their universal meanings because in essence they will be what they are in it’s actual purpose, the universal meaning to be further discussed, but eventually this will become self evidentiary to a self realized being in the physical.

Another point within redefining the word loser is also as you can see we will redefine the use of competition as well, so within the equal money system for instance we will only create that which is best within life, and this will be agreed upon by all and self evident within all. So creating a number of the same things in different minute or small changes for making artificial competition to make money and profit, will be seen as wasteful and not necessary as it’s not best for all, so thus will be eliminated within the equal money system. Competition as we know it will be gone in our minds in self interest, and the real purpose of competition will emerge, to find what is in fact best for all in all that we do. And thus only that which is best will be created in all we do, which is the highest form of living possible and will create unimaginable results. The practical form of the word ‘loser’ will be necessary and functional as it will be for it’s real purpose, what it does in the physical word reason, create understanding for life in this word, and help life move through the living of words into living it for real within oneself in the best and most efficient way possible, lived for all.

Thanks for reading.
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Day 128- Justification Character – as Self Manipulation

Here looking at the justification character, where in I actually use self manipulation as justification to not have to stand up and face my fears that I am currently facing in terms of transcending my programming within the mind consciousness system that has been resisted through accepting this fear as myself. The fear is not in fact real as it comes from the mind, and thus is evidence that I am creating my own fear as I can only create the fear through my own mind, so thus justifying the fear and self manipulation to stay in this fear, through accepting my mind to direct me here in this physical reality through my physical body.

How do I justify myself is through accepting and allowing thoughts of self diminishment and self compromise, such as ‘you can’t do that, you’ll be seen as a fool’ or ‘your not smart enough, don’t even bother’ or ‘it’s too much, you won’t be able to handle the conflict that’ll arise’, so within the pattern of these thoughts, is justification and self diminishment, where I allow myself to fall back into the patterns and suppressions because I accept these thoughts as me, over and over again.

Within the justification character, it is self manipulation as it’s a point of giving into the mind and using a back door as points that if I look in self honesty, I realize is only holding me back and suppressing who I can be if I just stop the justification to live to my fullest potential. Why would I live in such a way, this based on fear and why do I accept and allow fear to direct me, because of the justification that apparently I can’t break through. But, having a look, I see and realize that this is just a limitation I am accepting myself as based on not fully wanting to take responsibility for who I am.

Thus justifying the abuse onto myself, where in I cycle through self sabotage as falling and becoming depressed, but creating this as I keep defining myself by the characters of inferior, not capable, and bring that through with justifying why I am this way, to thus be able to live into this point where in I fool myself believing that it is not possible to change and become who I really am as life.

But who is the one who is sabotaging who, I am the only one who is sabotaging myself with beliefs and ideas that I am not capable, and thus justifying it as so because I am not disciplining myself enough in my living, to stop the points I see that are not supporting me.

To justify who I am being as a person in the mind limiting myself to my fullest potential which is here in the physical, is an excuse to walk the easy way out, and not push myself in the forms and ways that must be pushed to stop this from continuing. It’s essentially, allowing the mind complete control and access into self and allowing the life force to be sucked out, like giving up, but within the giving up it’s an existential consequences as even if it is not faced here at death, I will face myself in the here after, just making it that much more difficult, and from what I have gathered through speaking to beings here on the farm and in desteni, it’s much more difficult in the dimensions because the physical is a point of stability that is lost at death.

So I will walk the self forgiveness in my next blog to face this point, and thus walk the correction, to stop the point of giving into justifications in self, and thus transcend the point of giving up, to only walk the point of life, in absolute dedication, and pushing to be more specific and detailed. 

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