My Journey to Life: parent

Saturday, March 15, 2014

Is My Love for Real? - Day 405

I am going to start some writing and self investigation within relationships in my world and who I am within it. Now, I have gotten some cool support with regards to how to go about finding what it is that I am looking for or desiring within the relationships that I am in because as I have realized I am not able to yet direct myself within each one in a point of self stability and self trust where I am moved only within a self decision and direction of common sense assessment of reality, but am more moved within energy polarities that are quite limiting through thought patterns created in my mind.

I am going to open up my relationship with my dog, Henri. I can see already that I am quite attached to him where I think about him often when I am not with him and I gain an energetic high of excitement when I then again see him. One cool point that I was given was to hold the relationship within myself and find one word that describes it and what the energetic experiences are within it. I did do this with the relationship with Henri, and what came up was the word ‘childcare’.

First, the word child, where I see that the relationships of mother and child is being fulfilled within me where I do desire to be a mother and care for a child. The child that Henri portrays is more my idea of him as my child because he is child-like within his expression, so I see that as he needs my care and support like a child would need from his/her parents. Where within herni, he is an animal who to a certain extent is stable and able to care for himself to maintain this stability he ihas. He does need my care for things he can’t do on his own, but in terms of a need, Henri is not in need of a ‘mothers’ care and love. This motherly way is what I would like to investigate further within the desire to care for another such as a mother cares for her children.

With Henri, I see how he fulfills this desire within me to care for another, I enjoy doing this for him and for others, but within and behind this care it is generated and driven within an energy experience I am gaining of fulfillment and need that I see of wanting to give care to then receive the appreciation of the care in the form of ‘love’ or ‘affection’. Henri is quite affectionate and gentle in his expression, where he responds to my care giving in a manner of showing certain gestures and ways where I get an energy reaction within me of ‘oh he really loves me’ or ‘he knows I will always be there for him’. Where otherwise, I believe if I don’t give this care then I am not worthy of the affection from him or that he will not in fact act the same way, where these energetic experience of ‘feeling loved’ and ‘admired’ will not be fulfilled, which I fear.

So it’s interesting that within the seemingly innocent and quite natural way of care giving I give to Henri, I am within this desiring to be loved and admired, and so this being a conditional relationships within a need starting point, rather then an unconditional giving of myself where we are both free to express as is here and not be moved by energy experiences within to define the relationships and who I will be within it.

So will start with self forgiveness and self correction within the next blog, thanks for reading.

Eqafe interview support I recommend:
Parenting - Perfecting the Human Race

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Thursday, May 23, 2013

Day 307 – The Innocence of the Womb – Does the Fetus See it this Way?

So recently there has been a set of blogs coming up from the Creation’s Journey to Life blogs written by Bernard Poolman from the Desteni Group regarding the developing fetus in the mother’s womb. This is a natural and common practice we as humans either witness or go through ourselves as parents when a child is conceived and developing within the women, but within these blogs there is a hidden existence that has never been realized, understood, or discovered due to the unattained access that never existed until recently with the portal opening. This being the physical access of direct communication with the life awareness of the fetus itself, this possible again through the portal at Desteni. This access is the access to see beyond all and any normal human view and perception, the portal is able to access all dimensions of existence and speak to all walks of life as well as those from the non-living dimensions (from Death and beyond). So the portal has access to all forms of existence and all forms of existence's has awareness to access and communicate through the portal to the life that is here and who can hear on this planet through a girl's physical body (click links to read more on the portal).

The baby who is now being developed has been interviewed through the portal at 13-14 weeks, and is one of the most absolutely fascinating learning and realizations I have come across yet. He/she speaks about not the development of the physical body as you would have probably presumed, no he/she speaks about the development of the mind system as what we know as consciousness within and throughout the developing physical body that the baby and the mother are busy growing and manifesting. And how the mind integrates and encapsulates quite unnatural and conclusively the natural physical substance as the physical body of the fetus, it’s quite shocking to read because you instinctively want the baby as the innocence of ourselves to be in absolute comfort and protection, but within reading these conversations, you see the limiting and predatory nature the mind system really exists and integrates within us as the physical body to be birthed and lived as part of what we call life here as the human being.

Here is an excerpt from the blog titled:

Day 385: Fetal Development Stages – Consciousness Research –Week 14 (Part One) - Creations Journey to Life

Discussion between Bernard and the Baby-to-Be (Through the Portal at Desteni)

Fetus: Let me put it to you this way: in the Mind of the Mother-to-Be, there will be a Dominant Relationship to a Parent. That Relationship is then imprinting unto the Mother (that’s Pregnant) - from her Mother or her Father (whichever parent / parental figure the mother has a dominant relationship with in their Minds), and from there that Information is then within the Child already Imprinting. Meaning – the Child is already going to Know ‘What to Expect’ in terms of the Type of Relationship that their Mother is going to have with them.

So for example, what I now see within Leila, in her mind, it’s like centralized there – is her Mother. All of that information is then imprinting into you (Leila), and the Relationship that you had with your mother, for example what parent-child relationship you had with her, how you behaved, her relationship/behavior towards you and it’s already Resonating down to me – for example. In this, what is already being programmed is how I will be in behavior/relationship to you (Leila); our parent-child relationship is already being defined based on your parent-child relationship with your Mother.

Bernard: So that would then be the Knees, because that is the Ego, Survival – ‘How am I Going to Survive All of this?’ So, then that’s why the arms are sore, because they are increasing in discomfort – because it is linked to ‘How am I going to Handle this?’, ‘How am I going to Direct this?’, ‘Who Am I Going to Be within the History of my Forbearers?’ But, that is not seen on a Personal Level that is seen on a Survival Level – Purely as Pattern; which means that even Choices that will be made later on in Life, is already being Formed.

Fetus: The Life Pattern, yes.

Bernard: These Choices will be based-on Survival and will be Based on ‘Gaining Position’, that means Competition – to Establish the Position within the Hierarchy of Beings. That then already Determines What the Being will be in terms of Capacity, because the Capacity will be Governed by the Position in the Hierarchy. “This is All I Am Able to Be” –is the Decision that is already taking shape and also “I cannot be More than This”. That is very much influenced by the Lineage of the Parents and the Parents Before and what they’ve Been in Life in general.

Fetus: The energy of that (the statements of “This is All I Am Able to Be” / “I cannot be More than This”) is experienced as like a ‘Dullness’, as if you’re in a room and you’re contained and you can’t breathe properly or effectively. (This is what the Fetus is already experiencing/becoming aware of as the Limitation that manifested into and as its Beingness with regards to the preprogramming of who/how they’re going to develop into/as based on Survival)

Bernard: Constriction – which is actually Position, because Position is Constriction, a Space-Time Relationship to All Possible Relationships within the Context of the Self-Design, which is based on What has Been Before. Breaking out of that, is in most cases Unlikely, because the Environment is going to be the Parents and the Grandparents and the Family – which Determines Space-Time Position and ‘Who I Am’, ‘Who I Will Be’, ‘Who I Can Be’, ‘What is Possible’ and ‘What is Not Possible’, ‘What is Probable’ and ‘What is the Best Approach to Survive from Birth to Death’. So Death is already Placed as the Position Outcome within the Context of the Past and how to Best Reach the Optimum Death Point through Surviving.

I also recommend these blogs as a continuation of this discussion above:

Day 383: Child Development in the Womb Research

Day 386: Fetal Development Stages – Consciousness Research – Week 14 (Part Two)