Not Wanting to Compromise - Day 540

Here i am seeing a pattern I have walked with people in my life that has been consequential where for myself, I have become less adapt at moving in my enviroment. I am seeing this restriction in lets say the flow of who I am is based on not wanting to compromise or more cooperate with what is here, the physical reality. The principles are clear in what makes for a harmonious reality, which is live in what is best for all, considered all things and keep what is good, stand in the shoes of another as the other is equal to self, and do onto another as how you would want to be treated, though I have to live these principles to in fact stand as them.

For myself not compromising or not cooperating with reality where i do not live these principles above, I am essentially defying reality, not moving in a way that is supportive of this physical reality and so everything in it, which in a logical way doesn’t make sense. Now if I pull this out in lets say a global context, where I walk a self interested path of not cooperating and so not standing within the principles I shared above of what is best for all, I could be responsible for the harm of many. For example, say my job was to add filters to all the water pipes in the world, that will filter out the deadly bacteria that resides in this water, once it goes through these filters, the water is pure and all who drink are well. I have to change these filters three times a year to keep everyone in the world getting access to clean water.

Now this is a lot of responsibility, and this work is routine and boring to me, I am having these emotions come up, I want to quit, I am so bored, though I know if I miss a filter change, I am going to cause many to die due to the bacteria leaking in to the pure water. What do I do?

Here what would the common sense dictate, I have redefined the word sense to be the physical and common to be what is best for all, so here common sense is what is best for all in this physical reality. And obviously what is best is keep everyone healthy and harm free as this is what I would want for myself, fulfilling the principles of life, which is who we all are. Life being the physical as the physical is what is real, real is the reality we live in in each moment, what is actually happening direct, realtime, here, in the physical of ourselves and all around. So it’s simplistic in a way to understand all of this, though to live it is a different story.

Understand that each one is walking this process of realizing that our actions in reality have an effect on not only ourselves, but in fact on everyone we touch and beyond as those whom you touch go and touch others and so forth and so on. So for me to go into self interest and not stand in the shoes of another and do what is best for all, it’s like I am poisoning and killing myself as I infect my enviroment equally so with this self interest before the common good of all. We believe when we move in our enviroment, we do not have an effect on it, though observe children, they copy our every move and who do children grow up to be, the adults of this world, the world has never changed, why is this so, because we have never taught ourselves and so our children how to live in the physical, how to live within and as reality harmoniously, and how to live in life principles. We are living from a reality that is not real, which is from thinking and our minds, emotional states and reactions of self interest, trying to dominate reality, but common sense, this is impossible. We are in a day and age, where this is changing, we are now being asked by life as we ask ourselves, who are we as we see the death of billions every year because of not having access to basic human rights, this is our creation, it is time to take SELF Responsibility.

So it’s an understanding that when I do not want to compromise or cooperate with the physical reality I live in and support what is best for all, I will create equal to this, and the reality I live in will start to show this to me as I have realized many times already. Life is aware and everything existent within it, so we humans are not alone, we are PART of this reality not the dominator of it, it’s time to consider what we are creating and decide who self is within this and live. This is each one’s walk and path, who I am will determine my future, so I make it count. This is the path I am walking and I stand for and as life and nothing less then what is best. It is time, no more waiting. So let’s walk together, create together with the principles of life and so honor who we are as beings in what is our highest potentials.

This blog was inspired by these recordings:

Raising a Destonian Family - Desteni Farm Discussions
Raising a Destonian Family Part 2 - Desteni Farm Discussions

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Soul - School of Ultimate Living - Create yourself through Words!
www.schoolofultimateliving.com/

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www.Eqafe.com

Forum support:
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Desteni Wiki:
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Eqafe Facebook Page:
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7 year journey to life Facebook group:
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Agreement – Redefining the Word to Live – Day 471

Agreement for me has been a way in which two people mostly are able to move forward with something they are wanting to do or create, it’s a way to enable movement in what can be for most cases a rather stale and hostile environment. I have been relatively agreeable over my life time within an assessment in the moment, though when I look more closely I can be quite stubborn sometimes or give my power away just to end the brewing conflict that is ensuing. I don’t enjoy conflict, so usually I will give in a bit to ensure the project moves forward and I can keep going with what it is I want to do. So within this I am seeing a bit of self interest, I would say in the past my main objective was myself and getting at least something out of the deal where I benefit. I would also allow the group to move forward even if I had to sacrifice or give more effort then others within the agreement that was made, and this is also something I enjoyed because I did like helping others and building my resolve to be a part of the solution. I come from a big family, and a lot of my life I had to agree to things with them and help out in the group effort to get a mutual projects done or to help out in some way or another, so this i have been practicing in a rather large group setting for all of my life. I see agreement as a means to support with the growth of something between a group or a pair.

Though here, I would like to dissect the word some within it’s definition as well as do some word play with it.

Here is the definition:

Agreement:   1) harmony of people's opinions, actions, or characters

                      2) compatibility of observations

                      3) the verbal act of agreeing

                      4) the statement (oral or written) of an exchange of promises

                     

Word Play:

Agreement -

A Guaranteed Mend

Agree We Mention

Within redefining this word and living it, I would see the first word play as a cool direct point of the word where the word guaranteed means an unconditional commitment that something will happen or that something is true and the word mend means the act of putting something in working order again, and so this I would say would be a cool way to live the word agreement. This where all involved within the agreement hold to making something that was in conflict or not working due to the nature of having to create an agreement into something that is in working order again through the guaranteed commitment that this will be lived within one’s truth of themselves to the best of their ability. This can be lived within all contexts of life because if one finds that the agreement doesn’t work, then this direct definition can be applied again, so it’s a self sustaining support structure for life, humanity especially, to live to the utmost potential of this word.

Within this living of this word, one will have to consider the discussion that will create the agreement and here this I would suggest and for myself would like to live self honestly where the best of the group or people involved is considered. This being a principle of doing what is best for all and so while considering oneself within the agreement, one also will have to consider the common good, and if one look within considering the common good, oneself is also always consider. So the living of this word within what I have created here is the commitment to repair something that is not working into working order, which will create the agreement to live by and thus move forward within one’s living creation.

Redefinition of the word Agreement – to commit to live the truth of self within what is best for all to repair that which is not working to the best of one’s ability considering the common good based on the discussion that lead up to the agreement that was created and put forward.

Thanks for Reading.

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Day 263 – Enslaving Another – Control and Power Self Forgiveness

For further context within this blog, check out the following posts:
Day 253 – Yelling/Beating Someone Up in My Mind
Day 254 - "Being Taken Advantage of" to Justify My Abuse
Day 255 – Being Angry Because I am Offended By You - Part 1
Day 256 – Being Angry Because I am Offended By You – Part 1.2
Day 257 – Being Angry Because I am Offended By You 1.2 Continued
Day 258 – Does Survival of the Fittest make me a Robot?
Day 259 – Does Survival of the Fittest Make Me A Robot? Only If I Allow It
Day 260 – Using the Mind in Place of the Physical – Part 1Day 261- Using the Mind in Place of the Physical – Part 1.2
Day 262 – Using Fear to My Advantage and Enslaving Another– The Problem of this World is Within Me - Part 1

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel emboldened by taking someone’s power away from them and making them do what I want through threats and fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire this point of power over others based on seeing myself better, more enlightened, more intelligent then others because I have the power to make another do what I want, but in reality feel threatened and desire to control this other person so I am not abused, though I will do it with no problem to another for my own self interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse another through controlling them against their will due to threats of harm.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use threats of abuse and harm and fear to have another do what I say.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use fear and abuse for my own self interest and not considered the other if it was me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel that I am more worthy then others and that my desires are more important then others and so disregard the other completely because of the greed to get what I want fulfilled through my control over them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use greed as a justification to harm and abuse another into disempowering them through fear and abuse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse another due to my desire to have someone do everything that I didn’t want to do myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use another for my own personal use and gain while taking the others dignity away and not allowing them the freedom of their own will by using fear to disempower them and make them under my control.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to enslave another for my own personal satisfaction and desire to be lazy and slothful while forcing another to do something that I wouldn’t do myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse life like a commodity and degrade others while I had the audacity to believe that I was more worthy and that I could do this with no consequence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not care of another’s well being but only care about fulfilling my own satisfaction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am better then others who show a point of perceived ‘weakness’ not realizing or recognizing who they are in their natural expression as gentleness because I was actually jealous of this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide the jealous I felt towards the other within myself from seeing it and thus get a release by taking my anger out on this person due to desiring to be gentle as well.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to commit an evil act that cause the absolute separation and degradation of myself as life by enslaving another in my care and taking advantage of their nature and vulnerability.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take advantage of another’s vulnerability and dependency on me and use it to my own benefit to make myself feel important and better then them because within I felt inferior and was only seeking self interest as my own happiness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use fear and threat of abuse to have power and control over another who depended on me for safety as they were in my care.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive myself to be not this gentleness and thus take out my anger for lacking this out on the other who had this and I was jealous of, and so I seek revenge and abused them in the physical because I wanted what I didn’t have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed jealousy to direct me into abusing another and taking advantage of who they are in their beingness as gentle.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see myself as not gentle and thus blame this person who expressed it naturally for this through abusing them and controlling them through fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek revenge on another who I am jealous of because I don’t want to face the fact that I have to change and practice change which takes effort that I don’t care to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek revenge on another because within myself I feel inferior to others so making others feel inferior makes me feel better about myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize nor learn and integrate the reality I see within myself as treating others as I would want to be treated, as I realize when I am abused by another it’s not enjoyable and not what I would want, so the obvious common sense is that it then is not enjoyable for the other and thus obviously unacceptable.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to integrate and live this common sense of treating others as I would want to be treated and finally ending this cycle of abuse within the apparent polarity of inferior/superior, trying to make myself more but always within this balance making me equally inferior.

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Day 262 – Using Fear to My Advantage and Enslaving Another– The Problem of this World is Within Me - Part 1

For further context within this blog, check out the following posts:
Day 253 – Yelling/Beating Someone Up in My Mind
Day 254 - "Being Taken Advantage of" to Justify My Abuse
Day 255 – Being Angry Because I am Offended By You - Part 1
Day 256 – Being Angry Because I am Offended By You – Part 1.2
Day 257 – Being Angry Because I am Offended By You 1.2 Continued
Day 258 – Does Survival of the Fittest make me a Robot?

Day 259 – Does Survival of the Fittest Make Me A Robot? Only If I Allow It

Day 260 – Using the Mind in Place of the Physical – Part 1

Day 261- Using the Mind in Place of the Physical – Part 1.2

I have come to see growing up how we as humans tend to exploit others weaknesses for our own gains, this in the pursuit of survival because if I don’t survive, I’m dead, so my acts are justified because I am just doing it to survive right? But looking really at this statement and thus this way of life, do we really in the way life is on this earth require survival? Is survival the only way of living on this planet? Why has this world come to this way of life where we require surviving on a planet we were born in to? And why do we exploit the lest protected and vulnerable among us? (I will walk these questions in later blogs).

In my experience survival has caused me to be nasty towards others due to the root cause of fear, fear can direct people to not consider what they are doing and what they are treating others, but use fear to justify the atrocious actions and acts we as humanity and thus me as the human do onto our fellow human beings and life forms that reside with us on this planet.

So the problem is fear, and fear that is not investigated and stopped due to rational consideration and applying common sense within it, it will create self interested beings only looking to survive and enjoy as much of the pie as they can to ensure they stay alive and indulged. So thus brings me to the other propagator of what we see today as the human being and our acts of atrocities we commit onto others and ourselves on a daily basis and that is greed.

Greed is indulged within through desire and desire is like a virus within self, like a nagging temptation always there so long as you continue in the desirous thoughts within your mind over and over again until finally you will burst into the living out of these desires in instances where you will take more then your fair share, and within taking more then your fair share leaving others to not have enough, thus you have become greedy. Desire breed greed and greed is lived out through the human will to fulfill their desire. This greediness being fueled by your desire to manifest your fulfillment over the actual life that will be affected by these cravings, and thus not alone causing abuse, but cause an act of enslavement over others to bend to ones will over the equal consideration of all involved.

One really sick and inhumane act that I did and will do self forgiveness on and correction in posts to come was when I was younger, I was in third grade, I was responsible every day to pick up my younger sister who was in kindergarten at her door at the end of the school day and then we would walk out to the car together, I don’t think she knew where to go, so this was an establish routine developed for her to feel ok where she depended on me to make her safe and get her to the car to go home.

So within this dependency on me of my sister, I immediately calculated it as a weakness within her that I could exploit, and in so seeing this, I did exploit it. I would say to her that ‘if you don’t do this for me, I will not pick you up at your door tomorrow’, and within these words I had enslaved her to me because she was very afraid of not being picked up and thus she would then go and do what I said. This going on for months, where I would use fear and threats of harm of her safety (being left alone) and exploit that fear to get what I desired, which was a personal slave to do whatever I wanted. My greed of actually having this power over her and desire to not have to do the things I didn’t want to, created the perfect justification in my mind to do such a thing as enslave my own sister because she was letting me, she is weak and thus why not. She finally couldn’t stand it anymore and told my parents, to which I got in trouble and that was that. I didn’t think twice about it at the time, I for a long time just saw it as I was sorry to get caught not realizing or really caring of the impact and anguish that I put on my sister through each day with threats and fears of abuse of not picking her up as she expected and having her feeling trapped within this.

I see here how I developed this desire based on my greediness to get things quick and free, and enslaving another human being as my means to get my desires met. I mean I was a child, and already at this young age, I had the desire to enslave another and use her for my own greed/self interest. And I not only had this desire, but I lived it out with no remorse or consideration for her and the experience she was going through. I had no care for her well being, but only for my self interest, my own happiness, and my feeling of success through fulfilling my desire of a personal slave to do what I wanted. Does this sound familiar? I am the micro of the macro of this global system, where we abuse and exploit others weakness every day, those who can't stand and voice themselves, those who by a dignity standard should be the most protected and considered in this world, but are used and abused for those who are the supposedly the strong and powerful in this world to benefit, we those who live a life of comfort benefitting off the most weak and vulnerable among us. And it's not that they are inherently weak or vunlnerable, but we have specifically designed such a system to create this, so us as the greedy can get the most for the cheapest and quickest benefit possible, even if it mean the eternal abuse of life on this earth in all it's forms and in all ways imaginable.

Our current money system is the systematic enslavement of the global living of all, and the human is the creator as the enslaver of life onto each other for greed and fear. But we are equal in life, we are able to be free for real in this principle of equality of all and all being life as one, we are able to walk a process of self forgiveness and correction to again be able to honor life and be worthy of this gift we have been given. I am a living proof as many others are to the ability to walk this journey really every breath I take til I redeem myself and life here as myself until this is done and we are free for real in our directive will.

More to follow in posts to come, thanks for reading.

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Day 261- Using the Mind in Place of the Physical – Part 1.2

Please reference this blog for further context:

Day 260 – Using the Mind in Place of the Physical – Part 1

As Well as the following:
Day 253 – Yelling/Beating Someone Up in My Mind
Day 254 - "Being Taken Advantage of" to Justify My Abuse
Day 255 – Being Angry Because I am Offended By You - Part 1
Day 256 – Being Angry Because I am Offended By You – Part 1.2
Day 257 – Being Angry Because I am Offended By You 1.2 Continued
Day 258 – Does Survival of the Fittest make me a Robot?Day 259 – Does Survival of the Fittest Make Me A Robot? Only If I Allow It

When and as I see I am going into a point of suppressing myself when I am in a conflict with another, I stop and breath, and realize that what is going to be the outflow of this is abuse in my mind as well as accumulating the suppressed emotions of anger which will turn into rage which eventually I will live out into my reality as an anger outburst to whomever or whatever triggers it, which is abusing and separating myself based on me not willing to change this pattern.

I commit myself to stop this point of suppressing my expression into myself when I am angered by another through letting it go through breathing, and direct the point with the other in what it is that caused me to react, so it can be discussed and a solution can be walked by both me and the other in reality.

I commit myself to release the anger through speaking in the moment that I am one with the other, I am responsible for this anger not the other. And so I commit to stop my reactions in anger through breathing and letting it go within realizing that it is only energy and it will end at some point, and only speak when I am clear and stable.

When and as I resort to myself within myself in suppression due to fear of the other or facing a conflict with the other, I stop and breath, and realize this point of fear is disempowering me within compromising who I amwithin the physical as an equal being to only existing in the mind in illusion lost in thoughts and emotions of inadequacies based on past memories that are not real, and so do not define me here and thus do not define who I am.

I commit myself to not move based on a reaction to fear, but breath through the fear, and thus face the point that I am resisting such as speaking to the other in a point of conflict and stopping going into myself in suppression not facing reality but hiding in illusion as the mind.

I commit to face my fear of others by stopping defining myself by memoires and my judgments, by notaccepting theses inadequacies as me and accept me as an equally valued person and live from the physical in what will solve the issue and allow myself to live the solution through what it will take to become resolved.

When and as I go into my mind to fight the other in words or actions as imaginations, I stop and breath, and realize the consequences of this is that my mind becomes layered as these conflicts are not being directed nor resolved within me and my world, but are just accumulating this energy of anger and fear to face the other and thus creating more and more points of reaction and abuse that will continue to accumulate as I am not directing it, but suppressing it to an eventual outburst as moments of rage in the physical.

I commit myself to when I see I go into my mind to fight another, say, no, I will not participate in these image playouts of abuse any longer, breath, and move myself physically to break up and end the participation pattern of suppressing myself and fighting others in my mind reality.

I commit myself to not accept anger to accumulate through suppression, by directing the anger through breath and stopping my participation in it through writing out the moment that occurred causing the anger in the first place and correcting it to be lived in my life.

I commit myself to stop abusing people in my head in words and pictures, and find ways that will practically support a change into a solution with the other through communication and compromise in considering what is best for all and thus will support us both and what is best in the situation.

I commit myself to stop my self interest in getting what I want through winning and being able to competewith the other by not participating in this ego game through stopping this self interest when it arises and writing out the solution that will be best for both and practicing this until I can stand and direct myself to the best outcome within a direct of will as automatic.

When and as I go into a point of self compromise within thoughts and ideas of myself as inadequate, I stop and breath, and realize that I am not this in reality, I am equal in our physical bodies and living, and thus I respect this as myself by standing up for myself and who I am, and direct the situation into a point of equality and honoring life in equality within all in all ways.

I commit myself to breath through these thoughts of feelings of inadequacies by not being directed by them realizing they are not who I am, they don’t define me, and thus move myself to live in honor of myself in equal regard as all other life here.

I commit myself to investigate and write out all the inadequacies that come up in the moment of these moments where I want to suppress myself with another, to release it from having a hold on me through writing and thus living the correction of this in my life, so to be able to walk stable with the other without fear or self compromise.

I commit myself to let go of my self judgments that suppressing and compromising my living until I am here and nothing moves me but my self in the realization and consideration of life equal to me and doing what is best for all in all that I do.

When and as I go into my mind to become powerful because within myself I feel powerless, I stop and breath, as I realize that this is due to me giving my power away in the physical to fear and self judgment and believing what the mind is telling me is who I am when I realize I am not my mind as thoughts, memories, pictures, ideas, but am here as life in the process of self perfection and the ability to direct myself into self correction.

I commit myself to stop giving my power away in the physical by stop believing the mind as thoughts, emotions, ideas, memories of my past in feeling inadequate is who I am, by focusing on myself here as the physical equal to all, and walking myself into stability through educating myself in what is real, what is relevant, and walking this knowledge as living words to live this in reality in what is best for all solutions.

I commit to accept myself and all others as physical beings and see us as the physical life here, the bodies, the buildings, the nature, the movements, what we are physically doing/communicating, and use my breath to stay grounded and here and push myself to stop participating in the mind realities of illusion.

I commit to stop all participation in the mind of fighting others and becoming the victor in my head in seeingmyself as powerful by stopping this imaginations at it’s core through seeing the other as my equal and finding solutions in the physical.

I commit myself to stop my reactions of fear and anger and so direct myself in the physical with the other to empower both through compromised agreements through communication in finding solutions for the issues/problems that arise always taking into consideration the physical reality and ending the mind reality from directing me.

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Day 130 – Justification Character – Self Commitment Statements

Continuing with the Day 129- Justification Character –Self Manipulation points with some self commitment statements, to change this pattern to support self as life in equality.

I commit myself to stop all forms of thoughts that diminish me or another, and breath where I see that I go into the justifying thoughts to thus remain here and be able to move myself in equality in the physical.

I commit myself to walk this point of self diminishing thoughts, by stopping the participation in the thoughts, and walking the point I am fearing facing by allowing the justifying thoughts to direct me.

I commit myself to walk through fear in seeing and realizing the points that are triggering the fear, and through time practically walk the points out that I am fearing by facing the fear, and when it is of the mind to go into suppression, I move through it and interact with the beings or physical that I don’t want to face.

I commit myself to face my fears and walk the points out no matter how long it takes, fear is not real, thus it I realize I am able to transcend them, so I push myself to face them and walk point by point.

I commit myself to push myself to see where I justify myself in my mind to not have to face the fears, and thus go the easy way were I will suppress myself and pretend I am cool, when I realize that I am avoiding points based on deliberately accepting the fear as too much.

I commit myself to stop the thoughts that the fear is too much and I can’t do it, and investigate why I fear it, what is holding me back, what am I afraid to face, and thus walk the process to face these points.

I commit myself to stop the point of self interest where I want protection for me and be secure, when this is only looking out for me while life suffer as I am living into the mind and not pushing myself to face it and stop participating in it, which I realize is the only way to free the life being to really live, thus I commit myself to walk the path to freedom for all life by facing my self as my mind within the force of self interest.

I commit myself to stop and investigate all points of self interest so I can practice and perfect the living action of change to align with life in what is best for all, and stop the abuse of life by separating myself into my own self interested desires.

I commit to stop all experiences of desire and want for more, and thus push myself to walk the physical as breath within pushing myself to be here as the physical in my day to day living.

I commit myself to not accept self diminishment within myself and self compromise, where when I see I go into these points of blame and justification, I breath, move myself, and accomplish the task I set in front of me, stopping the resistances from directing me and making it practical within my living to support self. 

desire, self worth, self interest, no care for life, I can't do it, how to live, living with others, stopping self abuse, self sabotage, judgment, denial, compromise, desteni, journey to life, eqafe, 2012