My Journey to Life: judgment

Showing posts with label judgment. Show all posts

Sunday, June 29, 2025

Day 26 - Living with myself

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to dislike myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become angry at myself for falling.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become pissed off at myself for falling.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire to go into a point of self pity and self hate when i don't achieve the process of self perfection in a way that works for all as in the time frame i believe i should get this process done.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go into petrification within the understanding of the consequences i create when i do fall and go into the realization that i didn't not stand for life, i did not support solutions/life/self, and thus i caused abuse and suffering to myself and all life as myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be seen within a point of being special, being important and feeling like i matter in this process, seeking the praise and honor of a being that walks through and stands within challenges and thus is seen as strong and powerful.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be seen as strong so i can survive in this world and reap the benefits of a life with money and prestige, people who want to be around and support me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want to impress people when i walk my process, seeing me as getting it, and smart/intelligent as i move through the information and will be able to stand and support with world change.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go into blaming the beings involved in my action of falling, making it about the others and what they did to me, and in this believe i am not responsible for the fall and the outcome of myself within it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not take responsibility within a point of self responsibility within the fall where i indeed had the opportunity to stand my word and thus live the solutions, but chose to walk into and as the mind as greed, desire, self interest, and thinking patterns that i followed.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to within the thoughts of wanting what i did in the moment to fall, i did not care of the consequences of what i would face and could not see the reality that was playing out before my eyes, and thus become ignorantly blissful and blind to the hard and disciplined walk i was indeed required to face and stand within and thus in this did not stand the point.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become ignorant to the crys and screams of the suffering in this world, who are taken the brunt of the harm that all life as myself is doing when i/all live in separation with self and what is best for all.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear i will not make process and go into pain and anger when i realize and see that i fucked myself within falling and giving into my desires and mind thinking.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go into a form of self anger and judge myself for falling as i see, realize, and understand i am still here and still walking my process to life, breath by breath.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as weak and not capable of standing 100 percent through the challenges of the mind, and thus allowed the beliefs to supersede breathing and walking what is best for all in the moments.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go into a form of self belief that i am inferior because of my thoughts that 'i am not sure' 'i am confused' 'i can't figure it out'.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe the thought of i am not sure, i am confused, and i can't figure it out' as a negative experience, when i see i can redefine these words to show the practical steps to dig deeper in understanding and walk solutions through testing to see what works best.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe the thought that i am inferior, when i see, realize and understand i can redefine this word to stand as a point where i am in a new stage of understanding something or i am in need of more practice to get established in the point/weakness, and in this gain strength and stamina as i walk the process of integration and living to a point of proven reality.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge the word and feeling of inferior when i go heavy and depressed in my body, believing the physical energetic experience of being less then, not worthy, or not able to cope, when i see, realize and understand the correction is to move into more education and practicing the point to a degree where i am able to live it more and more and become one with the point and so become strong.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hate myself for falling and failing cause i believe thoughts that i am the cause of the mind empowering itself, i harmed all beings by falling, i will never live this down, i will never be able to forgive myself, when i see, realize, and understand this is thoughts and not who i am as the mind is a preprogrammed system, i am life and able to live and determine my movement here through practical and physcial effort to build words and living applications for the words as direct definitions to support me to live as an example for others if they may need support as this is what life does.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel unworthy of life rather then realizing i am one and equal with life, and thus i am here.

I commit myself to stand within the living word of breathing and releasing thoughts so i do not align and cycle into thought patterns and thus i stop the outflow of the fall.

I commit myself to live the word of inferior to be a point i am weak in practically, and work at that point until i am able to stand in it and feel stable.

I commit myself to stop self judgement of a fall, and realize it is part of life/process and will happen time and time again until i physically stop the point and be life which does not fall/fail.

I commit myself to stop all beliefs, and work with silence/breathe and living words i can actually prove as who i am.

I commit myself to stop all blame forever and take self responsibility for myself and change to stand as the living example in humbleness.

I commit msyelf to stop the polarity of love/hate, like/dislike, and redefine to align with life, as love is only real when all are able to be treated with dignity as a world solution/equal money system, like/dislike as a point of bringing this back to myself and seeing where i am indulging or resisting and live it in a way that honors all life, and support myself here with practical solutions and breathing here with no mind/thoughts, self forgiveness, and self change.

More support at -

lwww.lite.desteniiprocess.com

wiki.desteni.org

equal money system- a system to bring heaven here through oneness and equality - link here - https://web.archive.org/web/201102110...
Self Perfected - Destonian network support on fb

www.techno-tutor.com - word as living support, check out this tool!

Monday, November 14, 2016

Change in the Small Accumulation and Desteni i Process - Day 528

How has the desteni i process supported me to change in a massive way through everyday small moment change. Here I speak about the accumulation effect that occurs when one put there self will into something through a point of bullying and insecurity that I walked into confidence and self respect. This through walking specific tools shared in the desteni process, which supported this massive change I have walked in my life for the betterment of not only myself, but everyone around me. Enjoy.

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Insta- Judgment – Judging from the Past – Day 399

Art Source Here

Visit more cool art here: Desteni Artists

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge someone from the past where I place the weight of the past onto them and so direct the environment and so myself with them in a way that is not here and genuine, but from past memories and desires.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue to judge another based on the past and so act within a point of preconceived ideas and assumptions based on the past with this other person rather then being here fresh and supporting with solutions in the moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed memories of how another is working or acting or living to determine how I will interact within them be it on the basis of a positive experience or a negative one.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow memories within my mind in the moment of the present to determine who I will be and how I will act towards another based on the memory being a positive one or negative.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define another in a moment based on the energy attachments I feel within memories from the past about them or having to do with them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to engaging defining my experience based on the energy attachments I have on memories I am defining my experience with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself by memories within my head and create a reaction towards another based on the memory I am defining the moment or them by.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow memories and allow them to direct me towards others in my world.

When and as I see I am going into a point of defining my world, reality, and /or others by the past within memories in my mind, I stop and breath, and I realize that this will compromise my effectiveness and create separation with me and my world cause I am judging from the past and not here fully present living from the facts that are here and relevant.

I commit myself to let go of the memories I have attached to others through writing them out, investigating them, and directing them into solutions.

I commit myself to let go of the reactions to others through my mind as memories and bring myself here through breath and physical movement.

I commit to interact with others when I am stable and have directed the memories into a point of correction that doesn’t influence my interaction and effectiveness with others.

I commit to write and correct memories as they come and release them into a point of physical relevance only having no attachments to them.

Thanks for reading

Eqafe interview support I recommend:
The Metaphysical Secrets of Imagination

Join Us:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Destonians
Destonian Social Network
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site
Living Income Guaranteed Proposal - Site

Monday, February 3, 2014

Insta-judgment – Is this All I Am? – Day 398

Art Source Here

Visit more cool art here: Desteni Artists

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the way of life is through making instant assessments of what I am seeing, hearing, and taking in in my senses, and so from these assessment go into to my mind and create a polarity to relate to something that I have seen before to realize where I stand within it based on a point of have defined myself in the past from.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create my reality through my mind as assessments based on the past and compare the past with what is here in this moment as if they are separate from the then to the now.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from what is here in this moment through the desire to be special/more then others because within this I have made a comparison of myself with the here when I realize in reality that I am not separate from others but we are all equal as the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself with others in the mind polarities where energy is attached within feelings of trying to be more because I had defined myself from a point in my reality in the past where I saw myself as less then another, so within myself I am trying to redeem myself through making another less then me where I see this only satisfy the ego which is self interest and not who I stand as.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself from the past and so live the past to the here moment where I allow my reality to be compromised of doing what is best for all by creating polarities and comparisons with others to make myself feel better because within myself I am feeling insecure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into my mind and define myself through a point in reality outside myself in a belief that I am more or less then that which I see and realize is one and equal with me.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that I am not more or less then any part of this reality as we are all one and equal as life and this based on the reality of putting my shoes in another’s path and seeing that I would want the best no matter who or what I was, so what is best is what is real and what stands in all here moments no matter what.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live from selfishness and ego where I desired to become more then others based on the desire for notoriety and attention from others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse another for believing that I am somehow more then them due to a perception and a belief that I am this, when in reality I have compromised my integrity and my stand as life by hurting life and not supporting life and so hurting and not supporting myself which is not common sense and not best.

To be continued.

Thanks for reading

Eqafe interview support I recommend:

The Metaphysical Secrets of Imagination

Join Us:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Destonians
Destonian Social Network
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site
Living Income Guaranteed Proposal - Site

bernard poolman, competition, desteni, ego, human relationships, judging others, judgment, living solutions, losing, problem, self judgment, solution, why do I judge myself, winning

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Instant Judgment and Rectification– Day 397

Visit more cool art here: Desteni Artists

Featured Artist: Andrew Gable

For many, many, many times during my day I am judging something instantaneously, sometimes I catch it and sometimes I am not here and will allow it to continue and accumulate, but this is based on accepting and allowing the first action as the action of instantly judging something/someone/someplace before even taking notice of what it is that I am even looking at and who I am as one and equal with whatever it is I am judging. So I am in this next few blog posts going to look at this point and walk the correction.

First point is why do I judge instantly, I can say that I have always lived my life in this way and the reason for judging others was based on status, finding where I stand with others so I can prepare myself in how I will act/be/behave towards them in my interaction. So the instant judgment is done within a defense of myself because within myself I believe I have to be on guard, I have to defend myself from intruders, and this based on the actions I have seen and accepted as points that I had made personal within my past, holding them as memories to dictating to me how to live here, such as being insulted or being offended by someone. So over time I have created this mechanism of instantly judging others so I can be better equipped to come back and equally stand as a force for them to realize that I can not be taken advantage of so easily, I am not a push over, and I will be giving you resistance if you try and mess with me. So it’s fear based and showing that I am not self aware if I am still accepting and allowing points of judgment such as these to influence and direct me.

This also showing that I am existing in the exact same way that I am trying to protect, judging and sizing up others to see where I can gain ahead and become the stronger one, this to give me some sort of boost in my ego, catering to self interest and separation of us as humanity that is one and equal. So I am not really solving anything by continuing to exist within this pattern of sizing up others and instantly judging them, but continuing and perpetuating the same loop of separation and resistance to each other that is rampant throughout human kind. I can simply be here with all people and move beyond the judgments, and support others as how I would like to be supported and then I would have no more reactions of fear or resistance to people, but be stable. This a process to walk as I walk it here to unravel and self forgive, and so correct this pattern to be self supportive for me and all who read this. Til next time. Thanks for reading.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Day 319 – Why Do I Care So Much What Others Think of Me?

This is a question I ask myself often. Many times, I have talked to people here and they bring up a good point of, ‘it is quite strange that one continues to care what others think of them over and over again’, like wasting a life on just caring what others are thinking of self all the while one is completely missing the opportunity of life here right within the very ‘Me’ I am questioning.

I have come to the conclusion as a realization that caring so much what others think of me is because I am not able to see myself, I have created such a relationship of abuse towards myself that I am not finding a stable ground to even get a grip on who I am here and what I am actually participating in. I am participating in an action with the result of sabotaging myself and my opportunity at the life I can decide to have if I dare. I have tools, I have skills, I have my physical body, I have breath, I have food available to eat, I have clean water, I have a roof over my head, I have an income, I have everything practically within this world to make something of myself, and all I am doing for most of my day is worrying about what others are thinking of me.

I find myself often lost in my mind about this and that, and this look and that eye movement from another, and that will keep me busy for a long while, speculating, trying to attempt to figure out and interpret what that eye role meant, and mulling about in my mind about how I was in that moment, did I do something foolish, and then an interesting thing happens in the mind, it will start creating different scenarios which actually confuse you and then you go after a bit of time, wait where have I been, and what am I actually thinking about here. It’s like the mind can keep us busy with this train of thought, and me like a carrot on a stick just continue to follow it. It seems natural really, but if you look at the consequence of thinking in this way and being lost within the mind in self judgment, what kind of person does that create, someone who is possessed with fear and can not function properly in life.

Thankfully, I am walking my process of self purification and I have made the decision to never give up and complete this task of stopping my mind from directing me and my judgments and abuse towards myself and others until it is done. Because really it is like not at all doing anything in anyway that is useful, firstly its not even fact, it has no relevance, but I still participate within it. I have seen though that over the time I have dedicated myself to stop this one specific point of self judgment it has gradually faded and dissipated, it is slow and like steady dissipation over time, it’s like a snail, moving very slow like you can’t really tell that your moving, but if you see the duration of a time frame, you notice movement, I can sense it and see it in my living. So that’s cool as I know I can stop this point, it’s just a point of consistency, walking the process, and continuing to stop going into my thoughts and focus on breath by breath living, making that decision and sticking to it.

So it’s definitely not a quick fix, it takes a lot of time, patience’s, practice, self discipline, and self investigation to become aware of how one gets possessed by thought patterns and gets lost in the mind, such as fearing what others think of me. But as this can be seen within the words, the fear is not real because these thought in one’s mind are not in fact real, it is assumption and 99% of the time, completely different context then what one thought. So it’s to let go of the fears and judgments of what others think of me, and start to walk this path of self acceptance and self care, if I don’t care for me no one will, so I must get myself going and stop this. Study desteni research and the mind in amazing new research done on how it contribute to the insanity we see in this world and especially within our own heads.

Photo Source

Monday, May 27, 2013

Day 310 – Feeling Off

Tonight I don’t have anything coming up in terms of a topic to write about, I am in limbo at the moment as I feel a bit overwhelmed with new information coming out and looking at how to understand and integrate this new information into me as I have never heard of it yet in my life. I find a few interesting things that come up when I am faced with this situation or experience within me as this happens quite often of hearing something new for the first time and not knowing what I will make of it.

One, I find I will go into this pattern of waiting to figure it out, like I will not dive in and investigate, read, research what it is that is new to learn, but will slowly read it and look at it to find out more of what it is about. I see that I do this so I can see others examples of how others will understand it and can come to an understanding through that. I find I get overwhelmed with a lot of information at once, and need to hear it or read it through little parts over time. I am not judging this method of study and way I go about this, but I see it as not being the most effective. There is a form of fear of not being able to handle what I am learning, not getting it right the first time, and thus steering others in the wrong path and being made to look foolish for doing this. So still in a self interest starting point, which I am noticing more and more as I walk my process, how much I am in ego and self interest, but it’s cool because I am starting to recognize it more and more, and thus will eventually through the writing have the tools to stop it and change it in one moment as I see it.

But in terms of leadership and this belief that I will not be able to make it, be effective, get everything I am suppose to get, because usually I don’t understand what’s being said in a whole manner initially, I bet not many do, but I have been judging myself for this. Like I am missing something all the time and to a point this is true because obviously I have a lot to learn about the research on the mind and how to walk through it through the process, but this also has this point of not pushing myself as much as I could in researching, and allowing the point to just sit and do it more on a leisurly basis.

It’s like I am still holding back in my process of becoming a self leader, I am making progress I see with my vlogging where I am able to voice myself and just speak without any thought, which is pretty cool. But am still having a hard time in physical communications with people, so still walking the points I have written out on self judgment and facing and changing this in my reality. When I am not living in my fullest potential it shows within self, you can feel it and it’s not a pleasant experience, so will investigate these points in later blogs and continue walking my process to self stability.