A Lady's Journey to Life: Day 283 – Self Judgment – Judging My Physical

Please reference these blogs for further perspective:
Day 281 – Self Judgment – The Point I don’t Want to Face
Day 282 – Self Judgment – Fueling the Imprisonment of Self as the Mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my physical eye.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the thought of ‘my eye is so ugly, why does it have to look like this’ direct me into feeling less then others in my world and reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my eye looks to me as flawed and ugly, and thus allow a feeling of sadness come over me because I realized that this means that I am not going to be able to be the prettiest girl and get all the attention I desired from others in my world and reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my eye for me not being able to be the prettiest girl within my environment and thus see my eye as the problem for losing out on this opportunity to get the most attention as being the prettiest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and hide my eye within makeup and the way I stood to not have people notice this flaw in my eye because I was afraid they would judge me as how I have judged myself as ugly and not normal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear others thinking that I was not pretty and thusfear not having friends in my world and the attention that I wanted as being popular, desired, and liked by all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide my eye that I saw as not normal in pictures by only having my ‘good’ side show because of fear of people seeing the real way I look, and not wanting to have anything to do with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to fix my eye and make it look like everyone else's eye because I judged it as not normal and thus not acceptable because I had no chance of getting what I wanted, to be desired and given attention by everyone else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am flawed, and thus become jealousof all others who I saw as normal or had symmetrical looking faces and thus had no notice of imperfections.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and thus judge those with flaws as abnormal and as less then important then those that where normal looking because of my belief of what I can get by being normal looking as my desires would be met, and thus only looked for how I could be this in my world ‘normal’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become jealous of others and their physical features, and thus become rude and angry at them within myself because I resented the fact that I couldn’t have this, I couldn’t be looking normal because I judged my face as abnormal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become resentful of those I compared myself to and saw as better looking then me, and thus imagined what my life would be like, basically better, if I looked like that.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare and thus become spiteful towards others based on our physical features and designs, and thus desire to be like them and dislike myself even more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine what my life would be like if my eye were just normal looking and thus become resentful towards it for my eye not being normal looking.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an idea that my eye is not normal and thus I must be flawed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a belief that those who are not perfect within their look are not the best in society and thus can’t reach their desires in life, which is thus a life wasted and unfulfilled, which I feared greatly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within desire for the perfect look and living in spite and anger towards others because I didn’t have this within my idea of myself and how I saw myself based on judging me as not normal looking and that there was nothing I could do to change this outcome, which caused my resentment towards those that were normal looking become more and more over the years of holding this desire.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create separation as polarity with myself and life that is here as normal eyes and abnormal eyes, and separate myself from the physical living of being able to see life and the privilege this is within being alive by seeing the eyes in separation to myself as this polarity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take my eyes and my physical body for granted and impose beliefs and ideas on to them that are not real, and energy reactions that harm the physical as anger, jealousy, and resentment based on my own desires for self perfection to gain my self interest in being likedand gaining attention.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be selfish and not consider the life I am effecting as my physical body, and I forgive myself that I have not seen, realize, nor understood the reality of what it takes to see out of my eyes and live here in this physical existence on earth as a physical human body and a physical eye seeing.