My Journey to Life: work environment

Showing posts with label work environment. Show all posts

Sunday, February 9, 2014

Anger at Another is Anger at Myself - Day 400

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A point opened up today about why it is that I am creating anger towards others in my reality and this specifically within a working environment, where each person is delegated tasks to be done. Within this though, I have been angry within the belief that I am doing more of the work then others and that I am being not fairly treated and recognized for what I am doing. But there is two points that I have not been taking responsibility for and that is firstly, I have not heeded the advice of others after I have been told on many occasions how to help the situation and the second I have not done what I needed for me to gain a point of accountability for all and a stability point to put this whole situation into clear direction for the future. I have been lazy with this point and because I didn’t want to actually sit down and walk this point to a full completion, I am blaming others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take responsibility for myself when I was given insight and direction on how to help the situation at work to create a path for accountability and clear direction for all but instead I didn’t walk this so it was kept undirected.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take responsibility to move myself in the points that required direction and management, but allowed it to play out and cause more abuse by myself and others that was unnecessary.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for the work that I believed I was doing when in reality I was the one stalling the point because I actually did not want to move myself to walk the solution to the point and give it direction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not move this point of delegating responsibilities in the physical because I was too lazy and allowed myself to be distracted by other things then the point that was here and needed to be walked so obviously.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore the obvious physical movements that are required to walk a point into stability and instead desire and stay in the mind in instant gratification and continue to create abuse and unnecessary consequences in the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make it about what others are doing for me or to me instead of turning the point around and seeing what it is that I am not doing for myself and for others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be in spitefulness and blame towards others and so miss the reality of what needed to be done, which would have created a solution more readily then I did with being in these reactions.

When and as I see I am going into blame and anger towards others in my world, I stop and breath, and realize that I am deflecting this blame and anger onto others where I should turn it around and see where within myself I am doing the same as this is helpful I realize to see what it is that I readily don’t want to face and so am then able to walk it and face it in self honesty.

I commit myself to turn the reaction of anger or blame or any point back to myself and see where in relation to the point I am getting angry or blaming, I am doing the same thing.

I commit to write out the point and correct it in writing to be able to correct it in my living.

I commit to walk the point of writing out the responsibilities and so give clear direction for each one in the work environment to stop the point of reactions and postponement from continuing.

I commit to stop laziness and walk the points when I see they are necessary.

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Saturday, December 28, 2013

Opening Up Confidence within the Mind – Money – Part 6 – Day 366

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This is a Series, here are the others for reference:
My Experience Before and After Beginning Process with Animals and Nature – Part 1- Day 361
Horses and People– Before/After Starting Process with Animals and Nature Part 2 – Day 362
Horses and People – Before/After Starting Process with Animals and Nature – Part 3 - Day 363
Opening Up Confidence In the Mind – Before/After Starting to Walk Process – Part 4 – Day 364

My Experience with Confidence In Appearance - Part 5 - Day 365

Money has been a steady point within my life where I have gained confidence within myself from, if I have money then I am more able to do what I want and so get what I want. I also find I have gained a sort of arrogance that I disguise as confidence within my ability to make money and get money in my pockets if need be. I have been fortunate in this life to have connections where I am able to get a job and work, and I have found by using principles within my work environment such as loyalty, hard work, giving my best effort, considering others has helped me ensure an income and ensure I keep a job because I perform at a level that people like. So some cool points as well as points I have to work on because I use my ego to gain respect from others and demanding it as well through pushing my abilities and my know-how of the job to get myself heard or seen and so create rifts within areas in my life that are unacceptable and are not a way I would like to continue living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to gain confidence through working and demanding others recognize my skill through the confidence I present in a way that is arrogant at times.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become arrogant with others and within myself towards others because within myself I have judged them as less then me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am better then others in the work place because I am able to move projects ahead and so believe that others are not working hard enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have the right to be confident in the justification as a belief that I work harder then others and so see others as a point of not doing enough where I believe I am doing more then them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others as not working hard enough and so become confident and so arrogant within myself towards them instead of ensuring I am doing my best and so be able to support others to do this as well.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge others for there work ethic and make myself more in my own mind to gain this experience of confidence I desire within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others as a problem in the work environment without pushing myself to stand equal to them and see where it is that I myself am not working at my best and so turn around to face myself and ensure my work is optimal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe because I have the ability to make money and have money that I am more worthy then others who are not able to do this, and so gain confidence within the fact that I can make money where I see others can’t.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am more then others because of my ability to make money where this is not the true worthiness or measure of a man. I realize it is what one do with what one has and how they live and care for the life with what they have that is one and equal to how self would want to be treated.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that money measures a persons worth and created an idea that this makes them more if they are able to make more money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to create an idea that if one makes more money then they are worth more and so create an energetic response within myself as being more then others and so feeling more important, inflating my ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed an energetic response as feeling more then another based on money worth to satisfy my desire to be important in life and so create a separation with others based on this desire of being more worthy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be more then others because within myself I feel less then many people I meet.

-I will continue with the insecurity points later in this series.

When and as I see I go into a point of confidence based on an idea that money makes me more worthy or more important then another, I stop and breath, and realize that this only separates me from physical reality with others and the solutions we can come up with to ensure all are equally cared for and supported, and end the point in my mind of the polarity that an experience needs to take place, I am here like all others and that is who we are, here in this physical reality all of us together and so we must ensure all are consider as this is what demands of this physical reality to function in balance which is what makes sense always.

I commit myself to let go of the idea that money makes another more worthy then someone who doesn’t have it or can’t make enough.

I commit myself to let go of the belief that I am important because I can make money and become confident within myself towards others based on this belief.

I commit to let go of the experience of confidence based on an idea and desire to be more.

I commit to walk as myself in facing who I am within myself when I go and judge another and see within my life I am doing the same thing and change myself.

I commit to change my living from the mind to the physical and support solution that will support everyone to have money and a life of decency in the best way possible.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Day 225 - Control Freak - Must Stop the Feelings to Be Liked

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a point of uncertainty and fear of hurting another persons feelings within giving direction to them because within mysef I have an inherent need that I allow and accept within me of this desire for people to like me, and thus I realize and see that I will compromise myself and my standing within my pricnples for a feeling of being liked and accepted rather then standing within a poinr of responsibility and doing my responsibility to the best of my ability.

When and as I see that I am going into this emotion of feeling uncertain and bad about directing myself, I realize that compromising my standing for a feeling is compromising who I am within integrity and so I stop this point of self compromise and stand no matter what in all ways in what is best for all. I commit myself to stop and breath, and have a look at myself in self honesty when I see I go into uncertainty within myself, assess where I stand, and immediately walk the correction I see that will align with what is best in that moment for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a point of desire to be liked and to be seen as this idea I want to portray to others as a cool or special person to get a feeling that I am liked rather then be who I am within the moment in the consideration of what I am doing and how I can do it to the best of my ability not influenced by feelings or ideas in my mind, but be self directed.

When and as I go into a point of seeking to portray a specific way of myself to others in desire for nice feelings, I stop and breath, and realize that I am doing this based on compromising who I am for others acceptance which is not acceptable as this calls for me to be enslaved to others within them liking me or not rather then be free and able to direct myself in self acceptance. I commit myself to when and as I go into a point of desiring to be seen within a specific way in front of others and I start to go into my mind in ideas and desires, I stop and breath, and say, “no garb, I am not going there it’s not worth it” and continue to move myself in breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take responsibility for my own feelings of uncertainty within myself of how I am within each moment, and so desire points of self interest of being liked and having attention be put on me from others so I can feel good about myself rather then walk the point of accepting myself, embracing the moment as me, and walking as who I am in acceptance of me and the other. I realize this brings freedom within the situation and an openness between all involved to grow and expand ourselves because we are really hearing each other rather then in our minds scheming ways to get energy through trying to impress and out wit.

When and as I see myself go into the desire to impress and scheme in my mind to get the others attention, I stop and breath, as I realize I am going into a point of self manipulation and manipulating the other through nice words or fake faces to gain attention for myself rather then direct the situation in the best way possible in common sense. I commit myself to stop and breath, and do not accept myself to go into this desire to impress and gain attention through directing the moment in the physical by moving myself and breathing out quickly to get me back to the physical so to stop the mind from directing me.

Cool Interview Support:

Life Review: Behind the Scenes of Office Politics
Life Review: My Life of a Bossy Perfectionist Control Freak

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Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Day 224 – More on Being a Control Freak

Today at work I observed myself as I walked from point to point within the different situations that came up throughout the day, within my job I am in a managerial position, and am required to create organization and efficiency within the office environment and working staff that I am involved with.

A few points I find that are influencing me within directing people and responsibilities is that I am feeling within myself fear of hurting their feelings by being to strong/forceful, uncertain of if I am being to strong/forceful, not considering the practical steps that are required to be re-adjusted, re-worked, and re-configured to create more of a flow and supersede that which is not working best, but in my mind allot trying to figure things out through becoming emotional and making things personal. So I find that when I within these points of uncertainty and fear, I am creating an anxiety within me and within this everything moves faster. Like it’s quite interesting, I am really wand up and tense within myself during these ‘stressful’ points during work, and the emotions and reactions within me start to move and accumulate more and more, this is because I am participating in second guessing myself, getting personally attached, direct within emotions, and not actually looking at physical reality, what is really going on.

Then I go into a point of survival and defense mechanism where I will start lashing out on others and finding all the points where I can use to prove I am right/justified for yelling and getting irritated at another for not following through, and they are in the wrong. So using points or mistakes against them rather then supporting them and walking with them to solutions and making the whole situation better. And then I will go and just allow it to pass and not question what just happened with an energy outburst for instance that I didn’t direct, but I felt compelled to move and react within it. I realize what I am doing now, although still many of this points came up and I was not completely stable, I am seeing myself more within in it and I am starting to look at how I can change and correct myself to create the practical solutions that will be best for all.

Patience is another point that I am not proficient in to a satisfactory point especially at work, it’s a point, being impatient, where I use to justify my actions towards others in blame and ignorance within myself to only see my side of the story and not consider theirs. So impatience’s causes me to be ignorant and in self interest as I am not willing to stop and see life in all regards, consider the actions of myself and others in self honest assessment by slowing down and seeing, so to create peaceful solutions that will support my co-workers rather then bringing them down. Man, I really could go into a whole point of self judgment of how I am actually existing within my beingness and it’s not someone I am proud of, but I realize I am learning and understanding myself within my mind, behaviors, and the way I am living, and thus give myself the opportunity to grow and change to correct these points to become humble and be a problem solver, what my job calls for, not a causer of problems.

So some cool points I saw today, and will continue to observe and write as this is a big point for me.

Cool Interview Support:

Life Review: Behind the Scenes of Office Politics

Life Review: My Life of a Bossy Perfectionist Control Freak