What My Job Has Shown Me About Myself - Part 2: How I Live Words - Day 438

Artist: Andrew Gable 

In my work environment currently, I am asked and approached many times through out the day to direct situations, and the way I experience myself within this is where I am going to start to investigate myself and who I am within this. I will use some memories that have happened recently to start the process of seeing who I am and how I am standing within these points.

First memory that comes to mind is when I picked up the phone and was greeted by a disgruntled customer who was frustrated at another employee, and he insisted on yelling through the phone at me. When he started to raise his voice at me, I immediately within myself had a reaction of emotion rush up from my solar plexus into my chest and into my throat, I wanted to tell this guy to screw, but knew that I couldn’t due to business and being unprofessional. Though, I was holding myself back because the anger was here and I was very much reacting negatively to this man as I was blaming him for me now being uncomfortable and being angry. In my mind, I had thoughts go through my head such as, “man, I was fine before he called enjoying my morning and having cool conversations, and now look at me, I am angry and annoyed”.  Then through lingering in this anger and not clearing the point at that moment, I allowed it to direct me into my day by blaming another person for me having to pick up the phone and holding onto that anger towards her for most of the day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame another person for the state and condition I was in in a moment or a time frame.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the point of myself having to do a task outside of what I normally do as justification for blame onto the person that was responsible for that task in usual circumstances to then be able to take out my anger energy even more and allow myself to get release through taking it out on other people and my external reality.

I forgive myself that I did not accept and allow myself to take responsibility in the moment of creating the reaction during the call and when I hung up the phone, but just accepted and allowed myself to exist within allowing the anger to direct me and release it on someone else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it personal when someone raises his or her voice at me and then judge myself as doing something bad or wrong.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge doing something bad or wrong means I am less then another person and they are seeing me in this way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define doing something in a miss take as something that I did that was bad or wrong and so see it in a negative polarity from dong something right or in a positive polarity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within what I do based on if I judge it as right or wrong.

I forgive that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see doing something right or wrong is defining who I am when in reality it is showing a point of how I am living in a moment and thus needs to be redefined within myself to see the direct definition to these words so I then can see myself clearly within doing something either in a right or correct way and in a wrong or incorrect way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to then blame the caller on the phone for me not taking responsibility within myself to redefine these words in a way in which I am clear and see within who I am clearly when living these words as when I doing something ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ and so understand myself within what I do and not be effected or directed by my external reality. As I realize in the moment that the caller’s anger had nothing to do with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame other employees for me not taking responsibility and clearing these words to mean directly who I am in relation to them and thus be clear of any attachments I may have created within existing as this word and so blaming others because I am not clear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist the definition process as I defined myself in relation to it as unclear and not knowing how to walk it effectively.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see the redefinition of words as something outside of my frame of reference and judging it as too difficult to live.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the redefinition process of words too difficult and so not move forward on it.

When and as I see I am resisting a process within becoming more effective within my application such as re-defining words, I stop and breath, and realize that I am not living to my utmost potential in this moment and so I am diminishing my capabilities of expanding myself in my world and living and so becoming the person I see I am able to be through walking this process of creating myself into my utmost potential.

I commit myself to move beyond my resistances, by identifying them when I see they are coming up within me and I am not moving within a direction I see will benefit me.

I commit myself to identify what these resistances are and walk the process in writing of how to move forward.

I commit myself to when I see I am creating a polarity within a word or a situation in my world, re-define the words associated with these polarity experiences and live the direct definition of the word after it’s been established and created.

I commit myself to redefine the word right and wrong to be able to move through moments when I react to them within my external reality and so give myself a clear definition and direction to move forward.

I commit myself to take responsibility for who I am in my reality and walk the correction process that is necessary to be clear in moments where I currently react to be able to direct myself in what is best for all and stop being directed by external influences.

Will continue with the redefining word's process in my next blog, thanks for reading.

Interview Support on the topic of Work Politics and Not Being Enough:
Life Review - I'm not Good Enough
Behind the Scenes of Office Politics - Life Review
Nothing is Good Enough - Life Review
Always Feeling like 'I'm not doing Enough' - Life Review
Why Do I Feel Like I Can't Connect With My Partner?
Stop Your Thoughts, Change Yourself - Reptilians - Part 284
Self-Interest in Self-Honesty: How does that work? - Reptilians' Supp…


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Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Destonians
Destonian Social Network
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site

What My Job has Shown Me about Myself? – Part 1 – Day 436

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Going to a job everyday in the same location, seeing the same people, it get’s to be a place where you can really see who you are as the environment never changes and things repeat more often then not. The environment meaning in close proximity to many different people pretty much all day long. And everyday or every cycle shall I call it I see myself going into the same types of thoughts, the same types of ‘moods’, and acting in the same or very similar ways in my behavior and speech. It becomes very repetitive the day in and day out at the same location and again with the same faces as well as the same self that I walk around with everyday.

Obviously as can be seen with the title of my blog, I am on a journey to birth myself as life, so I am now more and more becoming aware of my behaviors, my thoughts in relation to others and myself, the nature of these thoughts, the energy involved within these thoughts, the personalities I go into in when different environmental changes or stimulus coming in to play or leave. There is a lot going on within me, though again it is very cyclical in it’s nature meaning I see the same types of thoughts, energies, reactions coming up, and overall it is not to the benefit of myself nor others. So having said this, I am finding that there is this urge that has started to emerge within me after I have been walking this process for more then 5 years now. Although, I indeed have proven to myself I am able to change and that I have the capacity to change, I am finding at this stage I am now within walking the mind layers I am at, I am becoming more and more reactive at myself and my environment around me (which is mirroring me, so still seeing self) that I am not moving fast enough, I am not showing enough progress, I am not changing quick enough, my environment is not moving in the direction that I see it should, I am not who I think I am as a person that is leading my own process, self directed, and able to do any and all things.

Of course this is a idea of myself I have created and projected onto my reality and myself, and the frustration I am sensing and starting to more and more react within is due to this idea I have created about myself and my reality in moving a specific way and within that creating the experience within myself as lacking something, where I am not quick enough, I am not doing enough, and my environment is not stable enough. This causing blame and anger within me which I am pushing onto my outer world, this is causing more and more consequences as it continues to be done without direction or a solution.

I have realized that within walking this process there is no right or wrong way to do it as well as there is no specific idea or belief of how it should be or how I should be moving within it, I also see that what is stemming from this frustration and anger is the fear of not making it in this process, not changing myself in such a way that I will be satisfied with myself as well as stable in reality, I am afraid that I will waste my opportunity I have been given and miss out on the life that is to come. So within my self now, I am in this constant state of anxiety and imaginations that I need to be doing this and that, I need to have progressed in this sort of way, I need to prove this about who I am, ect. This showing that I was not really progressing or excelling in the way in which I created about myself otherwise I would not be reacting, I would be stable. I realize I have been in self interest, out to make myself look like I am excelling, look like I am progressing, but was I being self honest within this? I would have to say within this aspect, no, I was doing it for others, I was doing it for attention, I was doing it for self acceptance, I was doing it to experience myself as worthy, and so I have created this experience within me now that I am in a survival situation and this is not what walking this process is about.

So here further, I will walk the tools of self forgiveness and self correction on these points I have brought up here of how I have experienced myself lately in my process and how I will walk the correction process to find solutions for myself, and so help others who may see support in this sharing as well.

Thanks for reading.   

Interview Support on the topic of Work Politics and Not Being Enough:
Life Review - I'm not Good Enough
Behind the Scenes of Office Politics - Life Review
Nothing is Good Enough - Life Review
Always Feeling like 'I'm not doing Enough' - Life Review
Why Do I Feel Like I Can't Connect With My Partner?
Stop Your Thoughts, Change Yourself - Reptilians - Part 284
Self-Interest in Self-Honesty: How does that work? - Reptilians' Supp…

Check Out these Awesome sites:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Destonians
Destonian Social Network
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site

Knowing When To Let Go and Knowing When to Push - Day 412

A point came up within work that I would like to open up and clear within myself in terms of how I will live the correction and also to get some understanding into why I go into such a reaction as I do, and the point is becoming overly zealous within a point I want to direct at work, but within my position in the business I do not have the authority to do so. So the consequences this creates is me becoming angry and annoyed within myself and towards other’s within the business where I am not able to be here in reality, but am within my head reacting. I see that what I go into that creates this drive to take control and direct things is that I am imagining myself as the point that is needed to create change, and so enforce it and push it when in reality I don’t have that authority or position and cause consequences that are not beneficial for myself or others.

So the point I am realizing and have been supported to see is that within the world system and business especially, there are times to act and there are times to step back. There are times to push a point and there are times where pushing is not supportive, so it’s discerning these actions within the context of what it is I am doing and who/what I am working with, to then decide and give the proper direction to myself to support the end result of what is best for all.

I have the tendency to want to always push and not accept that I can’t do something or am limited within a certain aspect of my life, such as the authority structure at my job, so this is a point I would like to walk in self forgiveness to clear it and be able to see reality for what it is and make the decision of self direction that will support what is best for all. Whether that be speaking up or pushing a point or stepping back and finding other means to walk a point or even simply letting it go for the time being where I see my actions will not support a result that is best for all.

So I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize, see, and understand that within life situations that are occurring in my world I am not always in a position to step forth and direct situations in the way that I see will support and change what is occurring as others may not be ready or I may simply not have the authority to do so.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that within myself I always have to push and take action within scenarios in my world where I see change is necessary and needed and so I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that within the world system as it is currently there are times where I will have to step away and let go of a point due to who and where I am within the structure in the system/business.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist standing down and becoming limited within my position where I will push and push until I am heard even when I realize, see, and understand it’s causing adverse consequences to myself and others within the point I am walking.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the belief that I am right in situations and not see, realize, nor understand that the reality of what is here is what I have to work with and direct in real time, and so I let go of my desires within my mind to win/be right and walk what is necessary in the physical to support what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe to be more qualified to make and direct others based on me being self investigatory and walking the process of self change not realizing, seeing, and understanding that within this action of separation within believing I am more/better I am catering to my ego in my mind dimensions and not walking/supporting the solution in what is best for all in physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have not yet accepted and allowed myself to consider the all of who and how I am effecting others within my actions, words, and thoughts, and so only cater to my self interest in gaining energy through creating the scenarios where I will receive praise/attention within gaining a presence at work, not realizing, seeing, and understanding that I am not walking a supportive process with the people at work or within the business world because I am not considering everyone just my desires and fulfillment of these desires to gain a feeling I am addicted to.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to only desire to get what I want fulfilled not walking or living the realizations I see in the moment of how I am acting in self interest, and so continue to act in a way that is not supportive to all and what is best because it feels good and I feel justified in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my behavior of pushing and creating consequences of abusing others and myself, when I see, realize, and understand the solution that is here to walk to support myself and others in physical reality to do what is best for all, this within walking and living self honesty and common sense in real time living assessments and through writing/planning what is best and will be best.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act and so live within a point of energy and feeling rather than breathing, being in reality, assessing the situation in self honesty, and walking a self directed decision that is best for all in common sense.

When and as I see I am going into my mind and only considering what I want and desire to happen and so push this regardless of what reality is showing me, I stop and breath, and realize that this action is not stable and will cause consequences that I can see are not going to benefit me or others within the environment I am working within. I realize I have to ensure I take all I can see and understand into consideration and so walk a process that is reality based and make decision within these lines in common sense.

I commit myself to walk the reality of what is here by breathing and writing out the point where I list pros and cons, and assess what is my standing and ability in the moment to direct myself to solutions that are best for all within the structure I am living within such as within my job/business world.

I commit myself to not give up and push what I see is best for all but I also commit to ensure I am walking in a way that is the most supportive for all and bringing a point of solution to all.

I commit myself to stand as an example for others and so within this I commit myself to live self discipline and integrity within myself to walk what is best for all in real time assessments by putting myself in others shoes and walking what makes sense.

I commit to stop my desires/self interest through stopping my feelings/emotions from directing me, and write the point out to see what the solution is and then live it in real time until I have proven to myself that the solution of what is best is who I am.

Cool Support to Help Walk the Business World:
Creating the Business Mind - The Soul of Money
Building Your Business - The Soul of Money
Building Your Business (Part 2) - The Soul of Money
Business Resolve - The Soul of Money
Time = Money - The Soul of Money
Taking Your Emotions out of Your Business - The Soul of Money
Moving Your Staff and Your Business Forward - The Soul of Money

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Anger at Another is Anger at Myself - Day 400

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A point opened up today about why it is that I am creating anger towards others in my reality and this specifically within a working environment, where each person is delegated tasks to be done. Within this though, I have been angry within the belief that I am doing more of the work then others and that I am being not fairly treated and recognized for what I am doing. But there is two points that I have not been taking responsibility for and that is firstly, I have not heeded the advice of others after I have been told on many occasions how to help the situation and the second I have not done what I needed for me to gain a point of accountability for all and a stability point to put this whole situation into clear direction for the future. I have been lazy with this point and because I didn’t want to actually sit down and walk this point to a full completion, I am blaming others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take responsibility for myself when I was given insight and direction on how to help the situation at work to create a path for accountability and clear direction for all but instead I didn’t walk this so it was kept undirected.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take responsibility to move myself in the points that required direction and management, but allowed it to play out and cause more abuse by myself and others that was unnecessary.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for the work that I believed I was doing when in reality I was the one stalling the point because I actually did not want to move myself to walk the solution to the point and give it direction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not move this point of delegating responsibilities in the physical because I was too lazy and allowed myself to be distracted by other things then the point that was here and needed to be walked so obviously.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore the obvious physical movements that are required to walk a point into stability and instead desire and stay in the mind in instant gratification and continue to create abuse and unnecessary consequences in the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make it about what others are doing for me or to me instead of turning the point around and seeing what it is that I am not doing for myself and for others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be in spitefulness and blame towards others and so miss the reality of what needed to be done, which would have created a solution more readily then I did with being in these reactions.

When and as I see I am going into blame and anger towards others in my world, I stop and breath, and realize that I am deflecting this blame and anger onto others where I should turn it around and see where within myself I am doing the same as this is helpful I realize to see what it is that I readily don’t want to face and so am then able to walk it and face it in self honesty.

I commit myself to turn the reaction of anger or blame or any point back to myself and see where in relation to the point I am getting angry or blaming, I am doing the same thing.

I commit to write out the point and correct it in writing to be able to correct it in my living.

I commit to walk the point of writing out the responsibilities and so give clear direction for each one in the work environment to stop the point of reactions and postponement from continuing.

I commit to stop laziness and walk the points when I see they are necessary.

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The Starting Point of My Day Will Be the Starting Point of My Way – Day 387

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Today I had a listen to the Personality Systems - Journeys into the Afterlife - Part 56 and one of the points they spoke about was waking up in the morning and checking yourself in awareness, finding where it is that your mind will try and direct you either through a positive or a negative energy experience or thoughts. For me this morning, I was feeling stressed when I woke up, I have had work become busy so I am in my mind thinking about everything that is going on there. There is one point that stood out today as I looked back on my day, and I saw that I started my work day off within a point of blame towards another.

I am existing within this blame towards this other and treating him where I am trying to inferiorize him to others very subtly and very passively. This I find it’s been within my quantum physical, where I will shrug my shoulders at something I am asked about this specific being resonating a disgust type attitude towards the situation I am looking at in the moment, and I found this was to ensure I am seen in a way I prefer because I have in my mind thought of myself as more because I have been doing more work. So I am using this point of belief that I am more then this other person due to my physical movement, and so have the starting point of trying to sabotage him so I appear more in the right by others I am around.

There is an experience I am following within these moments that I see I go into this blame behavior towards my environment and in these specific moments in relation to this person, and it’s based on a point of my desire for others to pity me and get recognition for the work I feel I am not being recognized for and so I am basically throwing a quantum physical temper tantrum with my physical actions and physical words in moments of my day that are unacceptable. This because I realize I am not only effecting my life, my existence, my environment, but I am also influencing others life, existence, and environment, and directing others either directly in words or actions or indirectly in subtle movements of the quantum physical, but still there is a message I am sending towards others and it’s in it’s starting point within the desire to abuse and make others become lower then myself, so I am the winner and I am the one that benefits.

But this is not benefiting anyone and this is not winning because I am directing others within who I am in each moment in a way of separation and survival, on an unconscious level agree with this separation and survival mentally and behavior we humans exist in as trying to cut people down to get to the top, and through who I am being this is who I am here. A person that abuses others and only looks out for myself and my interest, this is not the way to oneness and equality in my living, this is not the way to taking care of my neighbor as I would myself, this is not the way to be the who I committed myself to be, so I will support myself and walk the self forgiveness and self correction in relation to my starting point and take responsibility for the living I have created in separation written in this blog to change myself to be best for all. Thanks for reading.

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