Friday, July 27, 2012

Day 92- 'Worthless' Character

Today looking at the point of seeing myself as worthless. Why have I defined myself in such a way were I have defined myself by this word worthless. Looking at the word the energies that are attached to it is a feeling of weakness based on not being equal within how I have pictured myself to be which is
picture perfect as I hold an idea of myself in my mind, and thus within not being able to be this picture as I don't see myself as perfect in reality I go into this point of worthlessness because I am seeing myself as weak.

I  forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define myself within this word worthless I have defined as me being weak and others being more then me based on the idea in my mind as this 'perfect' picture were I compare myself and do not live up to this expectation 'perfect' (to follow is the character of 'picture perfect'). I realize and understand that within this definition I am holding of myself as worthless, I am not giving myself the chance to really live as I am enslaving myself to this word  as an idea I have to live up to based on the picture I am holding onto of how I should be and thus going into comparison to find where I will fit in and thus separating myself from myself as life in real reality which is the physical.

Thus I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to desire to live into this picture of perfection where in I want to fit in with others and not have to be in the spotlight where I am vulnerable and thus can be judged and so showing here that I am being the judger of others where I limit my self expression because I am judging how others are being and thus living. I realize and understand that I must stop the judgment of life here if I ever want to be free of this point of worthlessness as I am creating it for myself by living as the judger and separating myself from others who is me one and equal.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into judgments of others within I judge how others are living or existing as within being worthy or not and thus creating the experience within myself towards them as a negative experience or positive experience based on how I judged them within myself. I realize and see that this point of creating a polarity experience within myself of negative/positive towards another based on my judgment I am going to equal and one experience myself as this polarity experience because this is how I am defining myself in judgment as separation from others.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow myself to define and judge life based on this energy experience I have against life that some are to be judged in a way that is worthy and some are to be judged as unworthy based on holding onto this picture of perfection that I am comparing and thus judging life from to come up with the negative or positive experience I will have towards them within myself. I realize and understand that when I compare and judge others within this picture of perfection I am holding onto and then judging based on the experience I am having as worthy or unworthy I am continually going to be enslaved to this point as I am creating this hellish feeling of unworthiness within myself because I equal and one am constantly judging myself within this picture of perfection as I do to others.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge life within this picture of perfection where its an idea in my mind shaped and upgraded within years of media and television viewing of this 'beautiful' picture that all the life I come into contact with have to live up to to become worthy within myself. I realize and understand that life as what is here can not be judged nor defined within pictures in my mind because it is first non sensical as it is not reality based here in the physical and thus can change and morph into whatever way it want or I create it and thus it's constantly shifting and changing so thus its sending me on a loop as a trap that cycles and never becomes real because it's not real it's only in my mind and thus can not be cross-referenced which indicates illusion and two because life is not pictures nor can be defined within a mind reality as I said mind is constantly able to change and upgrade and thus physical is here stable and unmoved and able to be cross-referenced to prove it's truth. Within these two realization points, I see and understand that I am not living in the real reality as this physical world where I see and understand that life is equal and one and thus am living from my mind which is not real and can not be cross-referenced in physical reality thus proving the deceptive nature I am allowing.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to continue to define myself by this 'perfect' picture and thus continue to limit myself within mind deceptions I am accepting as I am allowing this to continue. I realize and understand that to define others within this 'perfect' picture definition I will continue to limit myself into being this 'worthless' character as I realize that within this definition it's limiting life and thus limiting self because I am creating it.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to continue to create this idea of the 'perfect' picture and thus accept and allow the judgment of a polarity of life as worthy or unworthy based on how I compare the other or myself to this picture. I realize and see that if I accept it to exist I am the creator of it and thus it will be real for me. I see and realize that this idea of the perfect picture is not in fact real as it is made up in my mind and thus can not be trusted so it is best to stop it as it is not equal and one to life.

 I commit to stop the perfect picture idea in my mind and stand as the decision each and every breath to walk physical practical reality and equality with all that is here as life including myself.

I commit myself to stop the definitions of myself as life to an idea of 'picture perfect' and thus walk the physical practical steps to stand as this point by stopping participating in the idea and being here as breath in my physical movement.

I commit myself to stop the judgment of life as worthy or unworthy by stopping the ideas as picture perfect in my mind to thus be able to stand stable in physical reality in the principles of who I am as one and equal with all life and thus continue this stand until I am here and it is me.

I commit to stop the judgment of life as worthy or unworthy by stopping the participation of this in my mind and living equal and one in practical common sense living to support others as I would like to be supported.

I commit to stop the picture perfect character idea that I hold in my mind by writing the point out and self forgiving each point so thus it is clear and do not direct me any longer (this blog to follow tomorrow).

What is Desteni? Here is a Link for more info.




self judgment, worthless, i am not worthy, depression, giving up, judging others lifestyle, picture perfect, pretty picture, beautiful people, enslavement, slavery, equality, life, eqafe, desteni, 2012, journey to life, gabrielle goodrow,

No comments:

Post a Comment