Day 101 - Fear of Abuse - Part 2 - Submission

Artwork By: Matthew Reed - "The Pursuer"

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to submit to fear within a point of trusting feelings of unworthiness where in I believe that I am not in control and thus automatically go into the feeling as diminishment where in I become less then the feeling and allow the fear to direct me to retract into myself and thus suppress my expression in life as I allowed the fear to take over.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to submit to fear and thus allow it to take over and direct me into submission as I accepted a belief that the feeling of being less then and thus unable to move through the fear, I become ‘fearful’ and thus will not stand up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust feelings such as unworthiness as if they are who I am, but I realize that feelings are generated within the mind as they are not here direct as physical reality thus not substantial and thus I understand they are not to be trusted but investigated and let go of so thus I am not influenced by any point other then my own self directive will.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the abuse of others based on this belief that the feeling of unworthiness and less then is who I am and thus based on memories of giving my power away through comparison and self judgment I have accepted and allowed myself to become a submissive being who allows others to push me around based on the belief that I am not as good as them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe this feeling of unworthiness because when I was a child I decided based on being made fun of and named called, and thus didn’t have it in me to fight back and stand up for myself, I accepted myself to be less then and thus submitted to others and allowed others to abuse me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand up in the face of obvious abuse by others because I learned within childhood that it is easier just to take it and suppress the pain then face the person and stand up to them as I feared conflict and thus the abuse that would come of that.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make the decision to compare myself with others and thus judge myself as less then those who were not being picked on and named called and thus I defined myself within a polarity play out with the others in a comparison of judgment based on looks as the name calling was based on the way I looked and acted.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the memories of me being picked on and named called and thus go through life within a polarity play out of less then or greater then within the idea that I am more or less then another based on the way we look and thus constantly compare myself with others due to holding onto this memory as a child that I am less then those who don’t get picked on and thus equated the being picked on to my looks thus fearing those who were ‘better’ looking.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge those as ‘better’ looking as more then me because I equated them to those who where the abusers based on holding onto this memory of the abusers within a context of pictures, and thus feared those who are ‘better’ looking thus more then me because I believed that to be so and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear those who are ‘better’ looking because I feared being abused by them because I saw myself automatically less then them as I have equated myself through pictures and thus self judged myself based on the pictures I saw instead of realizing who I am as life and that pictures is not real as it is ideas generated in the mind, who we are as physical is equal and thus I realize I am the only one who can stop these ideas and thus walk the physical as life as who I am to stop being directed and controlled by this fear of abuse.

I commit myself to let go of feelings and stop participating in them by using my physical breath as a stability point and living withinequality with all my environment until I am not moved by the feeling of unworthiness any longer.

I commit myself to stop submitting to fear of abuse by others by stopping the feelings directing me and facing the fear when it arises in my environment and thus moving my physical to just live and stop reacting to feelings and emotions.

I commit myself to stop trusting feelings by stopping the belief that I am less then others.

I commit myself to stop the memories through walking a mind construct of the fear of others and the childhood memories of being made fun of and called names. (for more information on Mind Constructs see this link- this is a more specific and detailed process of self  forgiveness and self correction)

I commit myself to walk through all points of comparison and self judgment that arises within and as me and thus walk the self forgiveness and self correction to thus stop them from having power over me and stop the abuse to others based on these separation points I am accepting and allowing.

I commit myself to stop the fear of conflict and abuse and stand up for myself as life and what has to be done within bringing this world to a world that support and cares for all.

I commit myself to stop the point of submission and hiding as a form of easement as I realize this is self diminishment and thus I will stay a slave, thus I walk the resistances to stand up and push myself to face my fear and this world as abuse starting within and as myself as I stop the abuse of myself.

I commit myself to stop the judgment and comparison point based on pictures as I realize this is obvious separation and that I am here as self within and as all as all is life.

I commit myself to stop submitting to fear and take my power back through building self trust by facing my fears and walking self honesty, self forgiveness, and self correction through writing and my living.

For Further Support, Please check out Links:

Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to LIfe
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki

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Day 92- 'Worthless' Character

Today looking at the point of seeing myself as worthless. Why have I defined myself in such a way were I have defined myself by this word worthless. Looking at the word the energies that are attached to it is a feeling of weakness based on not being equal within how I have pictured myself to be which is
picture perfect as I hold an idea of myself in my mind, and thus within not being able to be this picture as I don't see myself as perfect in reality I go into this point of worthlessness because I am seeing myself as weak.

I  forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define myself within this word worthless I have defined as me being weak and others being more then me based on the idea in my mind as this 'perfect' picture were I compare myself and do not live up to this expectation 'perfect' (to follow is the character of 'picture perfect'). I realize and understand that within this definition I am holding of myself as worthless, I am not giving myself the chance to really live as I am enslaving myself to this word  as an idea I have to live up to based on the picture I am holding onto of how I should be and thus going into comparison to find where I will fit in and thus separating myself from myself as life in real reality which is the physical.

Thus I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to desire to live into this picture of perfection where in I want to fit in with others and not have to be in the spotlight where I am vulnerable and thus can be judged and so showing here that I am being the judger of others where I limit my self expression because I am judging how others are being and thus living. I realize and understand that I must stop the judgment of life here if I ever want to be free of this point of worthlessness as I am creating it for myself by living as the judger and separating myself from others who is me one and equal.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into judgments of others within I judge how others are living or existing as within being worthy or not and thus creating the experience within myself towards them as a negative experience or positive experience based on how I judged them within myself. I realize and see that this point of creating a polarity experience within myself of negative/positive towards another based on my judgment I am going to equal and one experience myself as this polarity experience because this is how I am defining myself in judgment as separation from others.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow myself to define and judge life based on this energy experience I have against life that some are to be judged in a way that is worthy and some are to be judged as unworthy based on holding onto this picture of perfection that I am comparing and thus judging life from to come up with the negative or positive experience I will have towards them within myself. I realize and understand that when I compare and judge others within this picture of perfection I am holding onto and then judging based on the experience I am having as worthy or unworthy I am continually going to be enslaved to this point as I am creating this hellish feeling of unworthiness within myself because I equal and one am constantly judging myself within this picture of perfection as I do to others.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge life within this picture of perfection where its an idea in my mind shaped and upgraded within years of media and television viewing of this 'beautiful' picture that all the life I come into contact with have to live up to to become worthy within myself. I realize and understand that life as what is here can not be judged nor defined within pictures in my mind because it is first non sensical as it is not reality based here in the physical and thus can change and morph into whatever way it want or I create it and thus it's constantly shifting and changing so thus its sending me on a loop as a trap that cycles and never becomes real because it's not real it's only in my mind and thus can not be cross-referenced which indicates illusion and two because life is not pictures nor can be defined within a mind reality as I said mind is constantly able to change and upgrade and thus physical is here stable and unmoved and able to be cross-referenced to prove it's truth. Within these two realization points, I see and understand that I am not living in the real reality as this physical world where I see and understand that life is equal and one and thus am living from my mind which is not real and can not be cross-referenced in physical reality thus proving the deceptive nature I am allowing.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to continue to define myself by this 'perfect' picture and thus continue to limit myself within mind deceptions I am accepting as I am allowing this to continue. I realize and understand that to define others within this 'perfect' picture definition I will continue to limit myself into being this 'worthless' character as I realize that within this definition it's limiting life and thus limiting self because I am creating it.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to continue to create this idea of the 'perfect' picture and thus accept and allow the judgment of a polarity of life as worthy or unworthy based on how I compare the other or myself to this picture. I realize and see that if I accept it to exist I am the creator of it and thus it will be real for me. I see and realize that this idea of the perfect picture is not in fact real as it is made up in my mind and thus can not be trusted so it is best to stop it as it is not equal and one to life.

 I commit to stop the perfect picture idea in my mind and stand as the decision each and every breath to walk physical practical reality and equality with all that is here as life including myself.

I commit myself to stop the definitions of myself as life to an idea of 'picture perfect' and thus walk the physical practical steps to stand as this point by stopping participating in the idea and being here as breath in my physical movement.

I commit myself to stop the judgment of life as worthy or unworthy by stopping the ideas as picture perfect in my mind to thus be able to stand stable in physical reality in the principles of who I am as one and equal with all life and thus continue this stand until I am here and it is me.

I commit to stop the judgment of life as worthy or unworthy by stopping the participation of this in my mind and living equal and one in practical common sense living to support others as I would like to be supported.

I commit to stop the picture perfect character idea that I hold in my mind by writing the point out and self forgiving each point so thus it is clear and do not direct me any longer (this blog to follow tomorrow).

What is Desteni? Here is a Link for more info.




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