Day 84- F'ck off Character

Today was getting something in the store, and Henri was in the car, it was 90 degrees out, but I let him sit in there cause I knew I was going to be quick and I knew his threshold in terms of what is too much (assumption). I got accosted at the front door of the store as someone was upset that I left him in the car and it's so hot out.

The reactions came immediately, and I went into my f'ck off character towards him, where I diminished him and saw him as a 'jerk' for coming after me as if I don't know my own dog and how to take care of him. I see that I took his calling me out personally and went into embarrassment which fueled this f'ck off character.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to when confronted by another being in a forceful way equally go into a character of force through a 'f"ck' off type stance towards this person not considering what he is saying to me, but only seeing him as a 'jerk'.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into a forceful character based on my reaction of anger because I was being confronted and called out in front of people.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into embarrassment within myself when being called out by another and being in front of others.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into backchat thoughts that 'this man can go f'ck off accusing me that I don't know what is up with my dog and I would put my dog in harms way'.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow this back chat thought of 'he can go f'ck off accusing me that I don't know what is up with my dog and I would put him in harms way' where I make him the problem/diminish him without standing in equality with him and the words he is speaking because I desire to have my ego validated and this is done by me accepting my back chat and living it out by going into this character as 'f'ck' off towards him and seeing me as the victim.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into a 'f'ck' off character towards this man and with my face create a look of disgust and irrelevance towards the man to show that I am seeing him as irrelevant to me and that I am not taking what he says seriously.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to diminish him based on taking his words personally that I didn't know how to take care of henri as within myself this made me feel bad and unfairly read because I have an idea that I am a good mother to henri and I take absolute care of him.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to take this mans words personally and have it define who I am as if I am defined by how this man sees me realizing that he knows nothing about me nor how I care for henri and is just making a general assessment of the physical considerations that were happening in  that moment.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to miss the practical advice and consideration the man was giving to me to alert me that a dog can not defend themselves against the heat and thus can not help themselves if they are feeling sick and that it was not the best point to leave him in the car in this heat when I could take him to the house and go to store later.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to diminish another in my mind and then within my physical playout with him because I allowed the embarrassment and anger take over as I felt vulnerable and a victim.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel vulnerable and as a victim because I didn't want to be seen as a person that isn't considering the dogs well being and within this took his words personally and thus went into a defense mechanism as the 'f'ck off' character so I could become on top again as I felt that I was weakened based on his point being strong.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to take the words being spoken to me by the man personally and thus compare and compete with him in a way to become on top again as an ego point where I felt I was being beat by this man and I had to defend myself to survive and become on top again within myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I have to survive within another confronting me and thus I immediately have to go into a character where I can defend myself instead of walking here within breath and HEREing what is being said to me and take what is being said back to myself and change if it is able to be aligned with what is best for all, in this case understanding that indeed Henri could be in danger and I could take the extra time to make sure he is cool by dropping him off at the house and then going to store.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself as self righteous to not want to be wrong or seen as bad within others eyes so I will go into self righteousness as I did within this 'f'ck off' character and diminish them to make me right and them wrong.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from others here and go into ego as polarity play outs of being right and others wrong.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to diminish another based on desire to be right and fear of being seen in a bad light.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within this idea that I have to be right instead of living here in equality with all and doing what is best for all in each moment.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within and as the idea that I can be seen in a bad light and thus take others words/actions towards me personally instead of realizing that they are seeing a problem and them directing it towards me it has relevance and thus gain what is being said and consider the other as myself so I can learn from it without going into ego and align myself with what is best for all within what is being said to me.

I commit myself to stop taking others words/actions towards me personally.

I commit myself to not accept myself to go into a character of self righteousness where I go into a stance of diminishment towards others.

I commit myself to stop taking others words/actions direct at me personally and HERE what is being said to allow myself to expand and correct the points being shown within the words spoken or actions taking towards me in consideration of what is best for all.

I commit to stop diminishing others through going into this character as the 'f'ck' off character and align myself within and as the physical to equal and one communication and understanding so thus a solution can be met that is best for all.

I commit myself to always consider the best possible care for all life here especially those in my direct care and are helpless within themselves to not allow any type of abuse or danger to happen unnecessarily and protect all beings safety as well as my own to the best of my ability.

I commit to stop abusing life through my ego and just live here in what is best for all.

I commit to stop my ego from directing me by stopping my ideas and beliefs about myself of taking things personally and I am the victim and live here and what will be best for all even if it is not something that I desire to do, I push myself to stop the mind directing me and consider all here within equality.

I commit to continue writing myself out, correcting these points of living that is showing themselves in my world, and process them through self forgiveness and self commitment statements to let go of the energy and realize my self responsibility within it and change to align with the physical life here and do the best I can do for all life as myself.

I commit myself to walk as breath by practicing this each and every day til I am here and i am breathing stable able to direct myself as breath.



dog fight, confronted at store, called out, overheating dog, hot day, bad day, anger demon, equality, equal life, destent, journey to life, 2012, eqafe