Day 98- Judgment is Stupid

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use judgment as a form of self sabotage because I don’t like myself and am not happy with the way I am within my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my physical human body into a point of separation and division that I have created based on the fact that I want more, I want to be better, and thus I want my desires of being perfect to manifest for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be perfect within my physical body as an idea when I am being ignorant to the fact that my human physical body supports and assists me unconditionally each time I take a breath and thus never once complained, fucked around, or did anything to the detriment of me as life as it is standing as the principle of who it is as life, and thus I realize and see that I am creating these ideas within my mind that I need to be better and be more because I have accepted and allowed my self to compare to others physical and thus am the creator of my own ailments and diseases as I am not living in ‘ease’ with the physical as I am in conflict with it as others as judgment and comparison.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my physical body as not good enough in comparison with other bodies that I see are more skinny and fit and thus have prettier features, and within this go into displeasure of my physical body because I am not seeing myself as equal to the others as I am only looking at pictures and thus within this fucking myself because I realize and see that I am not just pictures but all life that exist, and I am the one who is creating the separation as I am the one judging.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be within ignorance towards my physical body based on the fact that I am desiring more, not taking into consideration what my body doing within keeping me alive, and I just push it and judge it because I accept and allow these desires to be more then life itself, which is the epitome of stupidity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my physical body as not good enough and that I need to be more based on the fact that I want to be more then others physical and within this create unnecessary competition within myself because what is being created within me is separation, due to me not being a person who accepts who I am and is grateful for the life that I am given through my human physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use ignorance as a form of self interest so I can feed my desires and accept myself to be judgmental of others so I can eventually feel good about myself because there will be a point where I am ‘more’ then another and thus only live for this feeling of being more. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use desires and judgments for my own self interest because I am desiring even for a brief moment to be more then others through comparison and thus here feeding the addiction to be more as a perfect polarity play out to feed my ego, which is feeding my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use my own self interest as desiring to get good feelings through winning, when in comparison with another and thus can get the little high that is created when this is reached.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself here from life as the physical in ignorance of the millions upon millions of unconditional acts alone that the physical human body walks through each day in full awareness in directive principle to keep me alive where in I have the opportunity to birth myself as life as the physical human body one and equal. I realize that this opportunity will only come once in life and thus to accept and allow myself to go into judgment towards another or any point of life for that matter is stupid in the sense that I am ruining my opportunity to be life and for what, a feeling, a moment of energy surge, a picture, a desire? I realize that to judge life is a stupid act as it is squandering the opportunity I have of life and for all life to live here in this physical within our physical bodies as our physical bodies in harmony and equality so that we can create a world here that is best for all.

I commit myself to stop the judgment of myself and accept who I am as one and equal with life giving myself the opportunity to realize that its not about judging what I am doing as a personal ‘attack’ but to realize that it is a point that needs correction and thus walk the correction to what ever has formed the living that is not in equilibrium with equality and oneness with the environment I am in and simply walk the correction in common sense and awareness of all life as myself.

I commit myself to stop the judgments of my human physical body as I realize that all bodies are physical life and thus this is who I am as life, we are all one and thus there are multi-dimensions at work and nothing can be judged on face value, but should always be looked at in it’s totality and from that point of full responsibility, the point can be corrected within self trust of considering all involved equal to oneself, which I see and realize is the natural flow of correction as life.

I commit myself to stop the idea in my mind to be perfect and thus live self perfection within who I am as a being equal and one with the life around me to create an environment that support all, and thus eventually will support all the world, as the example of self perfection for all who walk this will be a beacon for those who can hear and see to thus learn from and walk as well, so I commit to stop this idea of self perfection and walk livingself perfection not only for me, but for all life.

I commit myself to stop this point of comparison and thus then going into the polarity of pleasure/displeasure with others around me as I realize this is absolute deliberate separation and causing the inner conflict within myself as I am responsible for who I am within and without, thus I commit to make the decision each and every thought, feeling/emotion, or reaction that come up to stop this point of separation and walk the correction as self in self honesty in physical application to support what is best for all.

I commit myself to stop the point of ignorance where I am holding onto the ‘hope’ that I can be better as I realize hope is not real nor this idea of being better is real, thus I stop the ignorance of my beingness and walk in equality with others and thus also with myself in acceptance and appreciation for the life I am able to live and gain the opportunity to really be real and give freedom to self as all life as we walk thus process to self correction.

I commit myself to stop defining life by pictures and thus walk within and as real reality here as the physical in the self realization that I am one and equal with all here and that all life is to be honored and respected as such, as equals.

I commit myself to walk the process of self correction through daily self investigating every judgment I hold of another or reaction that come up, and walk self honesty within self forgiveness, and self corrective writing, so thus I can be who I am here as physical for real as I have walked the walk from my mind reality as judgments to the self real-i-zation of me as the physical here as breath and I move when I decide. 

For Further Support, Please check out Links:

Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to LIfe
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki



Artwork By: Kelly Posey

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KellyPosey
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Day 96- Anxiety

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be nervous because I believe I am going to make a fool of myself some how within what I am doing and thus look stupid in front of others.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I will make a fool of myself when I do a task and that others are going to see me as stupid.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to actually judge myself as stupid and foolish when I do trip or am not flawless within a task where in I see myself as messing up.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge myself as stupid and foolish when I am not flawless within doing a task or if I trip or make a mistake.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to thus keep myself sabotaged to a fear of making a mistake.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge myself when I make a mistake and thus go into another dimension of self sabotage where I go into anxiety as I am judging myself in my mind before I even start where I will go into a thought of ‘I better not screw this up’.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into anxiety before I start a task as I accepted the backchat of ‘I better not screw this up.’

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to accept the backchat thought of ‘I better not screw this up’ and thus accept and allow fear as emotion to direct me within a physical response as nervousness as tightness in my stomach.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to self manipulate myself with a point of fear to thus sabotage what I do here in the physical when and as I do anything as I allow the backchat and thus participate in it through going into the emotion as anxiety as I have judged myself as stupid and fear others reactions.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to self manipulate myself before I do a task and sabotage myself here in breath to fear.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear making a mistake in front of others because I have judged others for making a mistake.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge others for making a mistake and thus judging myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge life when I realize and see that life is all that is here and is me one and equal thus it’s not to judge, but to support self it live the best way we can live.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge a task as a ‘mistake’ when there are no mistakes within a point of opinion as mind towards another so thus I realize if I am able to support the person in finding a solution or helping with a task if need be to support and assist the person as I would want for myself I direct myself immediately and do it. I also realize within this point when I do a task not to perfection within living, I stop the judgment of separation as I making a mistake and support myself by breathing and stabilizing myself so I can see the solution in common sense which is within a point of stability in the physical by stopping the backchat, fear, and self judgment within this I will stop the point of anxiety as there will be no reaction as I am stable within myself in finding a solution by giving myself direction in what would be best for all.

When and as I go into a point of judgment towards myself or others for making a mistake in any point within the day, I stop and breath, and I walk the point of correction through stopping participating in the backchat towards others as well as myself as a self judgment and continue to do the task that I am doing in the physical within the decision to stand and stop participating in the energy.  I realize and see that going into self-judgment or judging another in my mind is sabotaging myself into a cycle of fear, which is self-sabotage which I am stopping.

I commit myself to stop the point of backchat of ‘I better not screw this up’  to thus stop the point of self judgment when I make a ‘mistake’ within my living.

I commit myself to stop the point of judging others when another makes a mistake through not participating in the thoughts and immediately go support the being if I am able to.

I commit myself to stop the fear of others judgments of me by stopping the judgment of others through when I see that I am about to go into a thought or reaction of judgment towards another I stop and push myself to remain in the physical by breathing and delete the point by moving myself through the judgment and not participating in it remaining physical and supporting the being within physical participating that support what will be best for the situation always.

I commit myself to stop the point of anxiety by stopping the self sabotage through walking the correction of myself by supporting others as I would like to be supported in all points that come up that I see I can give support.

I commit myself to continue to apply self forgiveness, self corrective statements and thus push myself to stand up for life for all through stopping my day to day participating in my mind with this judgment point by using my breath and the decision to not accept it any longer.

I commit myself to stop fearing making mistakes as I realize mistakes are only points within self to understand that what is being done is not self perfected yet and thus I see it is actually a gift to show I need to change and thus gives me the opportunity to change and correct myself.

I commit myself to stand up here in breath in the physical to stop myself within participating in the mind and correct my living in the physical by physically moving myself to push through my fear and become the being of courage I am who stand up for life even in the face of death.

Journey to Life Group

Creation's Journey to Life 

Earth's Journey to Life

Heaven's Journey to LIfe

Eqafe Life Products - Self Help

Desteni Site

Desteni Wiki

anxiety, fear, human machine, human robot, mental cage, trapped in fear, programming, eqafe, desteni, stupid acts, judging another, journey to life, 2012, gabrielle goodrow, 

Day 93 - The 'Perfect Picture' Character -Ideal

Looking at the point here of the 'picture perfect' character where I have created a polarity play-out with myself and this picture. This picture ideal as the perfection I can be is just that a picture, is a picture in my mind life? no it is not, as it is not stable, not substantial, and not able to be tangibly touched or moved, so thus I am basing my whole self on this picture of perfection which is the positive play-out that I am cycling in and as within my idea of myself here living day to day is the negative play-out of not perfect, not ideal, not the best. So thus I am cycling within this play-out of myself of seeing myself as less then this picture in my mind, but here realizing that it's not real and thus can not be something I define myself by so thus I will use self forgiveness to let go of this value I am placing on a picture in my mind and just be self here one and equal with all.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to place a positive charge on this picture of perfection that I have within my mind where I am giving more value to this picture and creating a negative charge to self here as I am living day to day where I am existing within myself as less then this perfect picture ideal that is placed in my mind. I realize and see that life is more then pictures as the picture indicate only the physical expression and thus do not define the being but only is what it is and thus within this I realize that life is all that exists so thus what is here is life nothing more and nothing less, all equal and one. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to place more value on a picture in my mind and thus create the polarity play-out of less then as myself here living in the physical reality as I can never live up to this ideal and thus continually sabotage myself as I allow comparison, competition, judgments, and jealousy to direct me within my world as I am not stable but in constant conflict because I see myself bad and thus chasing this ideal as the good of what I can be through having in place this perfect picture ideal in my mind to define myself from. I realize and see that to hold onto an ideal as a value judgment of perfection within what it mean to be a human, I will constantly and continuously sabotage myself and separate myself from others and as I am constantly existing within a point of definition and comparison based on this value judgment I am holding onto as perfection being the 'positive' = best and anything less is the 'negative' = bad so thus I realize to stop the picture in my mind I have to stop the polarity playout as good/bad within judging life in such a way. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to place more value on this picture and thus desire to live up to this picture so thus I use the picture to compete and compare myself with others in my world and all i look at are the pictures thus missing life here within self. I realize and see that there is no value but life in equality and oneness here with all and living as all so thus I only live within what is best for all as this honor and lives out the principle of what life is one and equal among all. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to miss myself here as life by only looking and valuing the pictures I see and thus judging and comparing and competing with myself here because I have created a value judgment of 'good' pictures and 'bad pictures held in place by my 'picture perfect' ideal that is in my mind being continually charged as I am allowing the judgments of myself as life. I realize and understand that the pictures are just an expression of the physical within the dna makeup of the human body and thus I stop the value judgments I am placing onto these pictures by thus stopping the 'perfect picture' ideal in my mind. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting an ideal picture in my mind as perfection that is constantly being upgraded and redefined to keep me locked in this cycle of self sabotage as I am sabotaging myself by existing as this perfect picture when it can be lived out because it is not real. I realize and see that this ideal picture in my mind that I have created is not real and thus I must stop giving it power by stopping the participation in the thoughts, judgments, comparisons, and competition point within and throughout my world.

More to follow on this point.

I commit myself to let go of the pictures within my mind as perfection by releasing the positive charge as well as releasing the negative charge as myself here in this idea I hold of me within self judgments, and become what life is here in the physical in breath one and equal with everything and everyone by practically stopping my participation in the comparisons, competition, and judgments point that are keeping this separation going.

I commit myself to let go of value judgements of life as positive/negative polarity charge and thus be here in the physical as I walk the stability point as life here by breathing and moving myself within my physical body, not accepting and allowing the thoughts of judgment direct me but directing myself by deciding to stop the participation and living it.

I commit myself to stop the value judgments of picture within a polarity of 'positive' or 'negative' and thus witin this stop the competition and comparisions and thus stand here as life as what is best for all through walking this in my practical living and changing myself to thus stand stable here.

I commit myself to let go of this picture of perfection within my mind as my ideal through letting go of the placement of value I am giving to pictures in my world and thus use breath as a point of physical stability so thus I can walk this point of not participating int the judgments, comparisons, and competition and thus stopping the picture in my mind from directing me as it is no more being fueled by the negative and positive charge I was creating through judgment, comparison, and competitions. and live it here. 

I commit myself to only value life here in what is best for all where I always honor the equality and oneness of who we are as life as self.

I commit myself to let it go and breath and live from the physical reality to thus be able to stop the mind dimension as pictures and live in the physical for real. 

I am perfect, perfection, I want to be perfect, competition, sports, value judgments, equal life, equality, eqafe, desteni, gabrielle goodrow, journey to life, 2012, energy, positivity, negativity, human behavior,

Day 92- 'Worthless' Character

Today looking at the point of seeing myself as worthless. Why have I defined myself in such a way were I have defined myself by this word worthless. Looking at the word the energies that are attached to it is a feeling of weakness based on not being equal within how I have pictured myself to be which is
picture perfect as I hold an idea of myself in my mind, and thus within not being able to be this picture as I don't see myself as perfect in reality I go into this point of worthlessness because I am seeing myself as weak.

I  forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define myself within this word worthless I have defined as me being weak and others being more then me based on the idea in my mind as this 'perfect' picture were I compare myself and do not live up to this expectation 'perfect' (to follow is the character of 'picture perfect'). I realize and understand that within this definition I am holding of myself as worthless, I am not giving myself the chance to really live as I am enslaving myself to this word  as an idea I have to live up to based on the picture I am holding onto of how I should be and thus going into comparison to find where I will fit in and thus separating myself from myself as life in real reality which is the physical.

Thus I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to desire to live into this picture of perfection where in I want to fit in with others and not have to be in the spotlight where I am vulnerable and thus can be judged and so showing here that I am being the judger of others where I limit my self expression because I am judging how others are being and thus living. I realize and understand that I must stop the judgment of life here if I ever want to be free of this point of worthlessness as I am creating it for myself by living as the judger and separating myself from others who is me one and equal.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into judgments of others within I judge how others are living or existing as within being worthy or not and thus creating the experience within myself towards them as a negative experience or positive experience based on how I judged them within myself. I realize and see that this point of creating a polarity experience within myself of negative/positive towards another based on my judgment I am going to equal and one experience myself as this polarity experience because this is how I am defining myself in judgment as separation from others.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow myself to define and judge life based on this energy experience I have against life that some are to be judged in a way that is worthy and some are to be judged as unworthy based on holding onto this picture of perfection that I am comparing and thus judging life from to come up with the negative or positive experience I will have towards them within myself. I realize and understand that when I compare and judge others within this picture of perfection I am holding onto and then judging based on the experience I am having as worthy or unworthy I am continually going to be enslaved to this point as I am creating this hellish feeling of unworthiness within myself because I equal and one am constantly judging myself within this picture of perfection as I do to others.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge life within this picture of perfection where its an idea in my mind shaped and upgraded within years of media and television viewing of this 'beautiful' picture that all the life I come into contact with have to live up to to become worthy within myself. I realize and understand that life as what is here can not be judged nor defined within pictures in my mind because it is first non sensical as it is not reality based here in the physical and thus can change and morph into whatever way it want or I create it and thus it's constantly shifting and changing so thus its sending me on a loop as a trap that cycles and never becomes real because it's not real it's only in my mind and thus can not be cross-referenced which indicates illusion and two because life is not pictures nor can be defined within a mind reality as I said mind is constantly able to change and upgrade and thus physical is here stable and unmoved and able to be cross-referenced to prove it's truth. Within these two realization points, I see and understand that I am not living in the real reality as this physical world where I see and understand that life is equal and one and thus am living from my mind which is not real and can not be cross-referenced in physical reality thus proving the deceptive nature I am allowing.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to continue to define myself by this 'perfect' picture and thus continue to limit myself within mind deceptions I am accepting as I am allowing this to continue. I realize and understand that to define others within this 'perfect' picture definition I will continue to limit myself into being this 'worthless' character as I realize that within this definition it's limiting life and thus limiting self because I am creating it.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to continue to create this idea of the 'perfect' picture and thus accept and allow the judgment of a polarity of life as worthy or unworthy based on how I compare the other or myself to this picture. I realize and see that if I accept it to exist I am the creator of it and thus it will be real for me. I see and realize that this idea of the perfect picture is not in fact real as it is made up in my mind and thus can not be trusted so it is best to stop it as it is not equal and one to life.

 I commit to stop the perfect picture idea in my mind and stand as the decision each and every breath to walk physical practical reality and equality with all that is here as life including myself.

I commit myself to stop the definitions of myself as life to an idea of 'picture perfect' and thus walk the physical practical steps to stand as this point by stopping participating in the idea and being here as breath in my physical movement.

I commit myself to stop the judgment of life as worthy or unworthy by stopping the ideas as picture perfect in my mind to thus be able to stand stable in physical reality in the principles of who I am as one and equal with all life and thus continue this stand until I am here and it is me.

I commit to stop the judgment of life as worthy or unworthy by stopping the participation of this in my mind and living equal and one in practical common sense living to support others as I would like to be supported.

I commit to stop the picture perfect character idea that I hold in my mind by writing the point out and self forgiving each point so thus it is clear and do not direct me any longer (this blog to follow tomorrow).

What is Desteni? Here is a Link for more info.




self judgment, worthless, i am not worthy, depression, giving up, judging others lifestyle, picture perfect, pretty picture, beautiful people, enslavement, slavery, equality, life, eqafe, desteni, 2012, journey to life, gabrielle goodrow,

Day 90 - 'Not Enough' Character

So looking at this point that came up today where in what I was doing I had this fear that I wasn't getting enough, and thus I went into this idea that I deserve more, I am not getting all that I deserve so I became this character that is 'not getting enough'.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into thoughts of 'I am not getting what I deserve' based on an expectation I have of getting the best of what I am getting and thus being dissatisfied of what is here in front of me because the person is not living up to the idea in my head. I realize and understand that no being can live up to ideas that is in my head because physically that is impossible. Also, it is not equal in terms of allowing the being to be able to express self here without limitation and not have an idea of how the being should or has to live thus limiting the other is limiting self and thus putting ourselves into self enslavement, which I realize I am not for.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to live into this play out of best worst and thus judge life by this. I stop the play out of best worse and stop judging life in this way, but live here equal in physical reality in what is best for all.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into an expectation of another due to an idea I am holding of how I want the event to go according to how the other is participating and if they are not participating to my liking I go into a defense mechanism as a negative experience and thus treat the other in separation due to the negative experience created by me that they are cheating me of what I deserve because I created an idea of what I deserve in my head not even allowing them in on the idea of what I expect. Thus I realize and see within this point that this is based on my own self interest and the desire to get all the points met that I wanted to make me feel good and have a nice experience, but based on the idea that I created of what I should be getting I created the person into being the enemy and that he is trying to cheat me out of what I deserve because I allowed the illusion as thoughts and ideas of the mind direct me and thus lost what reality is showing me that this man is doing his best and giving me what I asked for.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into this desire to have all my ideas and needs met within my own self satisfaction and thus vilifying others based on them not meeting up to my standards. This not even giving them credit for the effort and work that is being put in anyways and due to my selfish requests I am degrading the other because I want more and believe I am not getting what I deserve. I realize this is a point of mind where I use to get my own way and this is based on being addicted to getting what I want done to have good feelings. I realize and see that this behavior is what create the out of control society only looking out for their own self interest not realizing that I am being abusive and destructive to another as I am creating thoughts that he is bad and trying to cheat me when I know he gave me what I asked for.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to abuse life to get what I want and desire and thus separate myself from what others are doing and physically participating in in relation to me and how they are indeed caring for me and giving me the service I asked for. I realize and see that based on going within my mind and creating a fantasy type scenario where I desired more then what I was actually getting and asked for I expected something that was impossible for the other to give as he had no idea of what my mind reality is and I don't allow him to know any detail.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to assume that another should know and understand what I want and expect of them to make me feel good and satisfied without alerting them or giving them a head's up of what I want. I realize and understand that this is not fair and not how I would want to be treated thus I stop treating others in this way and thus make sure all details are known and appreciate what is given in the physical here as their effort.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be ungrateful for the efforts of others labors towards me to make me feel good and have an enjoyable time and thus become nasty towards them based on projecting my own anger due to bloated ideas and expectations, and not realizing that this mind illusions are not realistic and can not be held against any being. Thus I realize I must let go of these mind realities and expectations, and allow others to express themselves as best they can and appreciate always what is given to me in the point of equal giving as I would want for my efforts.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge the efforts of another and thus create an idea that I deserve more then what is given, when I realize and see that the other is me and he is giving his best effort and thus I stop my judgment and appreciate life here for living and making it more enjoyable as they express themselves and stop all separations as mind illusions as ideas and expectations.

When and as this point as character come up that 'I am not getting enough', I stop and breath, and let go and walk self forgiveness on the ideas and thoughts that are fueling them. I realize all here are different in our expressions, but we are all here one and equal as life.

I commit myself to stop separating myself from others through ideas and expectations I am holding onto in my head, and thus make others aware to what I'd like so they have a clear idea and thus give them a better chance to know and be able to fulfill it.

I commit myself to stop the thoughts of I am not getting enough and I am being cheated direct me when I see that in practical reality the other is doing their best in what they are doing and thus I stop all separation in thoughts and don't allow them to direct me.

I commit to stop the self interest in only getting my needs met and thus walk with all and in consideration of all by walking the physical and walking one and equal with all here as I would want for myself.

I commit to stop the separation of there is not enough here when I realize and understand all here is me and I have enough always because I am one and equal with all who exist as life.



not enough, character, self forgiveness, being selfish, selfish person, self interest only, massage, greed, dissatisfied customer, equality, equal life, eqafe, desteni, journey to life, 2012, gabrielle goodrow,

Day 89 - 'I Can't do This' Character

Yesterday, I was on a boat and my dad asked me if I want to try and bring the boat into the dock to tie up, within myself I had a fear, and did not want to do it, but said ok, I’ll try. It’s a pretty small space, with boats docked in slips on one side and the docks on the other side, so one has to actually turn the boat around to tie up properly. It ended up being were I did not put it in gear quick enough, and to compensate, revved the engine forward, which caused the boat to move fast, and I almost took out the dock in front of me. I had to then slow it down, and park it which at that point was difficult because I couldn’t manage to get it straight. Within myself at this point I saw the ‘I Can’t do this’ character, where I just want to give up and stop trying, but within the moment I could not do this, so I said to myself ‘breath’ and I did and I managed to get it in safely and we tied up. So it went very quickly from an easy cruise to a serious situation were I wanted to just give up and stop, but practical physical reality was not allowing me to and would cause serious damage if I did, so I breath, got myself in my physical body out of this ‘I can’t do it’ character in my mind, and parked the boat.

Self Forgiveness:

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into the ‘I can’t do it’ character were I immediately go into the points of self sabotage and fear where I accept my limitation of believing that I can’t do what I am doing anymore due to fear built up and the physical practicality of it being difficult. I realize and understand that when a situation such as this happen that becoming physical within what I am doing and just walking the common sense that I found when breathing such as looking back at the motor and seeing the degrees to which it reacts when I turn it to thus guide the boat in will be more helpful and solve the issue more readily, then giving up and allowing the fear and the overwhelmingness of the situation cause me to give up.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow thoughts of ‘i can’t do this’ and ‘it’s too hard’ direct me into desiring to give up and just let the boat go, but within myself I realize that this is not physically practical as it will go and hurt someone and it is my responsibility as I agreed to do the task, to do it to the best of my ability and not give up. I realize that I must stay within the physical in what I am physically doing and using the physical as a guide as this is what is real and happening as I found when looking at the motor, and do my best to bring it in safely which I did.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to doubt myself and my ability because I didn’t immediately get it in and do it flawlessly thus thinking within myself that I am a failure and I need to stop immediately because I didn’t do it right the first time. I realize and see that this is a quick fix mentality where I have become addicted to the instant gratification and instant results such as the fast food mentality, where I will just give up and not desire to continue when I see that I can’t do it quickly and it didn’t work out immediately. I realize within this fast food mentality for the instant gratification that within this event that it is not real and thus is an illusion created by consumerism that I have become addicted to because it is easy and instant. I realize that within this event that it is not about the time or the quickness something is done, but realizing that the physical needs to be walked step by step and aligned to the physical considerations that are here, so thus I have to be here in the physical as my physical human body in breath to be able to realize these points and thus not be in my mind desiring it to be done instantly and flawlessly, but walk the physical steps and consider all that is here and in my environment so thus I actually complete the task in real time.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to desire to please my dad when he asked me to drive the boat in realizing within me that I wasn’t comfortable in doing it, and thus through the desire to please him and my ego that I can do it, I took it on not fully being confident that I could do it and being in fear. I realize and understand that if I am not confident in doing a task to not do it especially if harm is able to be caused by what I am doing, and walk the steps to learn how to do it first before I try and attempt something such as parking a boat.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to accept my ego and drive the boat in with the thought ‘I can do this’ ‘it will just work out for me’ when I realize and see these thoughts are but assumptions and desires, and I did not take in the physical practical reality of the situation and what harm is potentially able to be caused and thus allowed hope as a mind illusion that is not real direct me, and thus I allowed the potential harm of others.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to follow thoughts of ‘i can do it’ and ‘it’ll work out for me’ when in reality these thoughts amount to nothing as it is not about what I think I can do and hope all will turn out cool, when within myself I realize what it will take to do and that I knew that I was not confident in my skill to do it, so I realize when within myself I realize I can not do something I stop the ego and the thoughts of hope and desire, and walk the self realizations in consideration of all equally and not do a task till I am more trained and better skilled in how to do it.

Self Correction:

When and as this character of ‘I can’t do it’ comes up within a moment of a crisis situation where I want to give up and give in to the fear. I stop, breath, and find the solution within the physical reality that I am working with and complete the task in physical considerations with being stable and calm in breath. I breath as my stability point and do not accept the ‘I can’t do it’ character to direct me.

When and as the thoughts of ‘i can do it’ ‘it’ll work out’ come through when asked to complete something that I am not confident in doing, I stop my ego and stop these thoughts, and direct myself in the consideration of all equally and the realizations that I know that I can not do the tasks properly in keeping all safe and cared for. Listening to myself here in breath and doing only what I realize I can do through knowing that I am trained and have living experience and confidence built up to do the task.

I commit myself to when this character comes up of the ‘I can’t do it’ character in a crisis situation I stop breath, and use the physical as a guide within my common sense calculations to solve the problem and take responsibility for what I have committed too.

I commit myself when realizing that I can’t do a task to do not accept and allow myself to do the task as I realize that I am not skilled in it and do not have the living experience to know that I can complete the task safely, and thus I commit to stop my ego and do not do the task expected of me to do by saying no I am not comfortable and simply give it to another to do, and thus learn from others until I am more confident.

I commit myself to stop the desire for instant gratification where I believe that all will be good and thus desire this to be for me not taking into consideration the physical steps and skills I will need to do this properly, thus I commit to stop my mind from directing me int hope and desire and walk here as the physical in practical consideration to life here in oneness and equality to myself.

I commit to stop my ego as well as my mind from directing me to do things that aren’t practically considered in one plus one equals two equation, but push based on the desire to be seen as more then who I am.

boating, boats, sailing, parking, sea, beach, ocean sports, vacation places, overconfidence, crash, equality, equal life, desteni, journey to life, 2012, gabrielle goodrow

Day 88 - 'Postponement' Character

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to when committing myself to sit down and write my blog, I accept the thought that 'I am too tired and will get to it' direct me where I accept and allow myself to cruise on the internet or distract myself with things in my surroundings instead of sitting here opening up the page and typing the point out. I realize and understand that this point of distraction and allowing the thought of 'I am too tired and will get to it (writing)' direct me will continue the postponement character that takes over when I follow thoughts and dont stop the resistances from getting the best of me and thus diminish my full potential in each moment.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to when about to open my blog page up I have a thought of 'let me jusj check facebook' where I will deliberately see within myself that this is just a point for me to not have to push myself in writing because I see that the writing is a 'difficult' thing as it takes effort, patiences, and dedication so thus desiring to have the easy way out and experience the positive as entertainment such as the thought indicate here of 'let me just check facebook'. I realize and understand when I accept and allow myself to follow this thought of 'let me just check facebook' I am sabotaging and distracting myself because I don't want to face and push myself, but I realize within this point that I am here to walk this process and I commit myself to walk these blog writings of self investigation and self forgiveness to change my living to be best for all not only for myself's well being but for the well being of all who will benefit from a world where beings live equal and one.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to desire the easy way in life and a positive experience within my world as I have become addicted to good feelings and a reward system set in place within myself so thus I can entertain myself with illusion and distractions such as this postponement character of allowing the thoughts of 'I am too tired, I will get to it' or 'let me just check facebook' where I have made the mind as entertainment and nice feelings what I desire as a quick fix instead of what is real and lasting here the living of myself in oneness and equality for a world best for all. This I realize will take much dedication, perseverance, and effort to see this through based on the physical movement of myself that will be required to be walk as a minimum of seven years daily time for what has to be done to create myself and this world in a better were beings will in fact live equal and not allow this postponement character through the thoughts of distraction that is not necessary and only there to delay the inevitable.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become addicted to nice feelings as a positive experience within my own self interest where all that is considered and cared about is my own self satisfaction and thus indulging within this as I accept the postponement character to direct me through these thoughts where instead of wasting time indulging in my own self satisfaction as a positive experience as entertainment or sleep, I realize I must walk through all thoughts, do not allow them to direct me in that moment, by practically shutting down all other websites and sitting in an upright position and immediately going into my blog writing not accept postponement and seeing it through to it's completion.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow desires as 'to do it later and see whats out there; direct me into self sabotage where I wil sabotage my opportunity here to write myself out and sort myself out so I can stand in the face of what is here and be able to remain stable and direct life here as me in what will be best for all. I realize to walk this I must push myself each and everyday through all resistances that come up and desires to postpone and immediately go into the work or task so thus I can stand no matter what and will have lived out all the points and wrote them out so I am here and I am clear.

I commit myself to not accept and allow thoughts of postponement or tiredness to direct me when I realize I have to do a task that will take effort and focus.

I commit myself to walk through all points that come up through self forgiveness of desires to not do a task that is in front of me so I can stand and walk no matter what is here and I can trust that I will direct myself in whats best for all as I have lived in this way.

I commit myself to stop the desire for my own self satisfaction and desire to have an easy time and instead look within the physical practical considerations that are here in what I have to do to walk this process to self equal and one to all that is here and do not stop until it is done, no thoughts but just living til I am here one step at a time.

I commit myself to stop the addiction to energy through breathing through the desires and urges and stopping participating in the thoughts and memories that come up in relation to these points, so thus I am here stable directing me and the energy has dissipated and eventually goes because I don't accept it to direct me any longer.


Artwork By Fellow Destonian:
Andrew Gable -

Check Him out here:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/andrewgableartist
Youtube:http://www.youtube.com/user/andrewgableartist
Blogs: http://anartistsjourneytolife.wordpress.com/


self dedication, live for real, equality, postponement, postponing, postpone a deadline, procrastination, laziness, i don't want to work, difficult tasks, eqafe, equal life, desteni, 2012, journey to life, gabrielle goodrow

Day 86- 'Why did I do that' Character

So looking at this point that comes up often where I go into the 'why did I do that' character based on a regretful point that had occurred that I did, and thus based on a judgment about my actions within it or the responses I got from others, I go into this 'why did I do that' character to thus make sure I suppress and sabotage myself because I believe that I am unworthy and I don't get to be free and just live here as life one and equal to self.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into the 'why did i do that' character when I have made a value judgment against myself due to an idea I held that I didn't live up to.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to make a value judgment within who I am or who I am being within a moment and thus limit my expression to my idea and perception of how I should be instead of living who I am here in each moment in freedom. I realize within this limitation as a judgment of who I should be, I am not allowing myself to move and change as within life it's constantly in motion and thus is not able to be predicted so I must walk within breath and acceptance of all points to thus really live here free in expression as who I realize I am as a free being who is life in full acceptance as self one and equal and live and walk the correction to be this in fact.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to limit myself by placing value judgments of right and wrong within my actions and words instead of realizing that there is only one principle that is here and that is oneness and equality of life and thus to live best for all not based on separation as one is better then another.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to place value on life and thus separate myself within the polarity play out of I am that and not this, where I see some life is not acceptable instead of realizing and living the point of self acceptance and thus give myself the opportunity for self correction in living where here I will only be shifting and changing within alignment of what is best for all in a natural movement of living process to life and so not to move into energy as reaction and go into separation of myself for a point that is not yet aligned, it's not to judged who I am, but simply correct the point to be one and equal with all life in what will be best for all.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that energy is who I am and thus that I am subject to only it's movements within and as emotions and feelings, thoughts, memories, and illusion of the mind, when I realize that is not who I am, as I realize I am here as substance, and I have to walk from this illusion I have created within my mind to life as the physical practical reality, so thus all life here can walk the correction and we can align back to who we have always been one and equal with the physical.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself within this 'why did I do that' character go into the desire to make a correction in fear and suppress myself within what I have done so thus I can be seen by the others in a new light and they will forget how I had been a moment ago to thus please them and have them see me as 'ok' again when within myself I had judged myself of doing something not ok. I realize and see within this how I am limiting myself to the mind in only living for the approval of others and thus causing conflict and anxiety within myself based on trying to live up to a standard in my head which can never be lived up to cause it is not real nor tangibly here and thus I can never appease the others as I am not being real, but only in my mind as desires and ideas that are ever changing and upgrading as I see newer and newer pictures missing life within it all.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to desire to have the approval of others so thus I will go into this 'why did I do that' character which will automatically activate a fear to correct the point where I will change myself completely to appease others and limit myself by missing my self respect within it all. I realize and see that within this character play out that it is due to myself seeing me as inferior to others and that I have to appease others to like me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to see myself inferior to others and that I have to do things for others to like me, this based on childhood where I saw that if I went against others and didn't please others or follow others leads I would be outcasted and humiliated, and I didn't like the feeling of humiliation and embarrassment that was brought upon when being outcasted by others so thus I grew into the character of pleasing others and thus created a check character as this 'why did I do that' character to make sure I always fell in line with the others and did not step out of approval because I fear having people not like me and thus turn against me with the making fun of and humiliating me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define myself by the memory of me in school where I was outcasted and thus humiliated and embarrassed in front of others and thus went into fear of this due to believing that the emotions that were built up as embarrassment and humiliation defined who I was and thus lived this out as seeing myself inferior and not as worthy as some other life. I realize and see that I am not this memory of being outcasted and the fear that this brings up and seeing that it was just a product of my own separation as feeling inferior and allowing others to be superior to me, and also I realize that I am not defined nor am these emotions as humiliation and embarrassment as i realize they have been pre-programmed and installed within the mind consciousness system to enslave beings to be lesser then who we are as life, and that I but just have to walk through these emotions stable and in self realization of who I am as life one and equal and thus I am free because I realize I am still here and the energies as emotions are gone, and they were never real, but I made them real because I didn't realize who I was, but I do now know I am not limited to the mind as emotions and feelings as energies but am life which is stable here in breath.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to thus allow this point of 'why did I do that' character to play out to keep my limitations in check of being inferior because I believed that I don't deserve to be life, I don't deserve to be able to be free and enjoy myself here as full expression as who I am in oneness and equality, and that I deserve to suffer because I am not good. I realize and understand this feeling of unworthiness and inferiority is due to me holding on and defining myself by memories and past occurrences and defining myself by these points of others names towards me and the actions I lived as if this is who I am and real, but here I realize that I am not defined by the past nor by the memories of my past, but am here in breath and able to live.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define myself by the thoughts of 'I am not worthy' and 'I am inferior' based on living into the polarity of separation where I believe some are more then others. I realize and see within this point that I am not separate from anyone but that I am everyone that exist here, we all are the same within our substance and thus are all walking the same process, so thus I stop separating myself and limiting myself to the mind as these illusions as more or less, but live here one with all and walk into and as equality with all life as myself in self correction through my living as my self realizations here in the self forgiveness statements.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into this character as 'why did I do that' as a check to limit myself and sabotage myself based on this desire for more and desire for perfection and living the polarity opposite as I separated myself within the desire to be more.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to desire to be more then I am here as this desire for more friends and more of who I am in perfection instead of realizing and living enough here in self satisfaction with who I am as life one and equal and walking self perfection in my living by aligning with the perfection as the physical as myself as self living equal and one to the substance that is in and of everything that is essential unconditional life living in absolute perfection with and as all and who I am if I but will it and live it and stop the separation of myself because I realize 'I' as life is all that is here.

Self Commitment statements to follow.

Artwork By Fellow Destonian:
Marlen Vargas Del Razo -

Check Her out here:

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/marlen.delrazo

Youtube:

http://www.youtube.com/user/MarlenLife

http://www.youtube.com/user/MarlenVargasDelRazo

Blogs:

http://marlenvargasdelrazo.wordpress.com/ 



why did I do that? dope. fuck ups, mistakes in living, feeling guilty, stupid move, pleasing others, making friends, human relationships, equality, oneness, eqafe, desteni, journey to life, psychology, human psyche