Sunday, July 29, 2012

Day 94- Give Up Character

Looking here at the character of giving up, and how this character has dominated most of my life within myself and who I have become a person who gives up on myself in terms of facing my fears and building relationships with others. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear facing others within holding back and suppressing myself when I feel this uncomfortable feeling within where I just want to go do something else, and not face the fear thus essentially giving up on the opportunity to face myself and stop the fear from directing me. I realize and understand that within going into this fear and allowing myself to give up on the opportunity to move myself I will stay stuck within this fear and constantly compromise myself standing. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into emotions as uncomfortableness and thus use this to stop and not push myself allowing this to sabotage my standing as I’ve accepted it to direct me. I realize and see that within this point accepting the emotions I will submit and thus give in to the give up character. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give in to the fear of expressing myself with others and thus give up on myself with the picture of myself in my mind as doing a task or something else to just not have to go into the situation, and thus I go into it and 'pretend' that I have to do another task thus to get myself out. I realize and see that when I accept the picture and thus live into the action by escaping I will continuously do this as I am allowing it to direct me thus always being a slave to fear and this escapism give up route and thus I will sabotage myself each and every time never moving never expanding never being life. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to use the give up character because I am accepting myself as weak and thus allowing myself to escape the fears that I am facing thus allowing fears to have power over me rather then me be the directive principle in my world. I realize and see that it is my responsibility to face my fear with others and continue to practice and push myself to not escape through the mind by living in to the pictures and moving to escape the fear I am facing, but walk through my fear and communicate and push myself to do what I am resisting so thus I can build trust in myself and realize I am still here and that I am not what is in my mind. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have created the idea in my head that I am weak and thus others are stronger then me instead of standing in the physical and living direct with others so thus I can be an effective human being and walk what is necessary to be walked to support what is best for all.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to accept the give up character as myself as a scape goat because I am to afraid to face myself and face others as I fear the point being seen as ‘dumb’ ‘stupid’ or ‘not responded back to’ thus I realize and see that within this point I must investigate the memories attached and why that I am stuck within this fear of seeing others in this way and thus defining myself as ‘dumb’ ‘stupid’ and ‘not important enough to be responded back to’ and apply self forgiveness on this (next blogs to come). 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow fear to direct me within and as my interaction and moments with others because I am accepting the back chat that I am ‘stupid’ ‘dumb’ and thus ‘not worthy’ so thus this is manifesting in myself as the give up character that I live into and as through giving up and escaping the fear thus allowing fear to have power over me. I realize and see that accepting these back chat thoughts and thus living them out by giving in to the escape as the give up character I will be powerless and have no effect within my world or reality to make a difference in this world and stand up for what is best for life. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the back chat thoughts that I am ‘dumb’ ‘stupid’ and ‘not worthy to be spoken to’ to direct me within fear of facing others and thus accepting these thoughts to direct me. I realize that I must stop these backchat thoughts through deciding each and every time that they come up that I stop and thus breath and move into the fear and direct myself without fear. This until I am stable and hear. 

I commit myself to stop the emotions from directing me by immediately stopping the emotion identifying the fear and thus walking into the fear, expressing myself and letting go of these points that I want ot give up by physically moving myself.

I commit myself to stop the picture in my mind of doing another task and thus confront my fear as I am trying to avoid within the picture and walk into the fear so thus I can see for myself that I am not the fear and thus breath and stabilize myself in the physical. 

 I commit myself to stop this polarity play-out of weak/strong within my mind by breathing, and speaking ‘I decide’ within myself and thus direct myself within physical movement to thus ground myself and stop the energy as the polarity play-out until it remains no more. 

I commit myself to walk through my fear of facing others within speaking or being with them, and thus when I see a point to direct or express myself, I do it here as a breath, and not accept any longer the fear to direct me.

I commit myself to write out each memory as the timeline of this pattern of seeing myself ‘dumb’ ‘stupid’ and ‘not important enough to be responded to’ and apply the self forgiveness and self correction so thus I am able to live this in my world and reality and stopped being controlled this pattern of giving up. 

I commit myself to stand up within this back chat by stopping it from directing me and thus not going into the give up character as an escape this through standing up for myself and not accepting the fears, but stopping them and moving myself in common sense to direct what is necessary.

giving up, I give up, equality, being afraid, I am afraid, fear is taking over, fear possession, giving in, don't want to move, scared, equality, equal life, eqafe, journey to life, desteni, 2012, 

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