I am doing self forgiveness on compromising my body by desiring to look more feminine by putting earrings in my ears, and thus abusing my body by making deliberate holes, when I didn't really care either way but I did it for societies/others approval because I see myself quite masculine. My body has since rejected all earrings in the ear by making it very itchy, irritated, and always closing up so it's very painful to try and put them in. So I since a while now do not wear and will not wear any earrings, and am sorry I compromised myself for approval by others because I am not accepting myself.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that I am acceptable and ok just the way I am here, that I don't have to distort or change my body or image to become acceptable in the eyes of others or society, and so to do this is based on the fact that I am not accepting myself here and thus am judging myself due to an idea.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to desire to change my image and appearance to be more feminine by putting earrings in my ears because I see myself as masculine and that I am quite boyish in terms of the way I dress and carry myself as I do not enjoy the makeup, dressed up look, but prefer comfortable, casual dress. Here I judge myself as masculine and see this as a negative experience as I realize that I am judging this masculine look as being a lesbian, and I don't desire people to see me as this.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge this look of being masculine within a fear of others seeing me in this way and thus assuming that I am a lesbian based on my look because within myself I have judged others look and judged them for being a person who is homosexual as a 'gross' thing.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge homosexual behavior as a gross thing based on the fear of myself being this and having others see me in this way.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being homosexual based on the stigma and cruelty others show people who express themselves in this way, and thus I fear the ridicule and stigma of being homosexual but realize and creating the abuse and separation I don't want for myself. I realize that this is not who I am and thus I stand up and stop fear and judgment of others expression and who they are and live here in breath with all life equal and one and treat others how I would like to be treated.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear others thoughts about me if I was a homosexual and having to face that person based on actually projecting my own prejudices against those who are homosexual and believing that that is what others are thinking of me when I dress more masculine and casual.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being homosexual based on the fear of humiliation from family and friends.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge those who are homosexual and actually fear them being attracted to me or liking me.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to place my own fear of being homosexual onto others and thus go into a blame towards them for the fear that is actually existent within myself and who I am as a being.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to desire to prove that I like men so no being will think that I am a homosexual.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being called a homosexual by others.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into anger as violence when my sister called me a dike back when we were fighting when I was younger and I punched her across the face.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to use physical anger as violence onto others because I fear facing myself and who I am within myself.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not allow myself to be free with all life within my world and the world as a whole and thus do not discriminate nor judge any being based on any point that is there preference, and only act when life is not being supported equal and one and life is not being honored in the best way possible for all, allow and accept life as me in all ways.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to hold on to fear of who I am as a being based on rejection and thus change my physical body or appearance to please others and miss myself within compromising my physical and my self integrity as who I am within myself and stand as the being I am one and equal with all and this include respecting and honoring myself as well as my physical body.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to cause abuse and pain to my body when I pierced holes in my ears for the satisfaction of others and society approval instead of realizing the only satisfaction I will attain is through myself within being true to myself and not compromising who I am for others but always standing and living within honor and respect of who I am as life and stop compromising myself through fear.
When and as I go into this fear of being seen in a way that I don't desire such as being seen as a homosexual, I stop breath, and let go of this fear and judgment I place on being homosexual. I realize and see no matter who one is within themselves and their expression as long as no abuse is being done within self honesty and life is honored and respected in what is best for all one is free to live and be who one wants to be in terms of who they want to partner up with or express themselves with or as. I stop my fear of this and stand within my own expression in what I would like to do in all facets of life equal and one to all and to self as well, and allow myself to live and express in self comfortability.
When and as I desire to change my physical to please others or society, I stop and breath, and do not accept myself to go into this point of self compromise and self sabotage, by standing up and facing others as myself, challenging others beliefs and ideas of what society or people should be or look like, and just walk my expression. I stop compromising myself for others and honor me and respect who I am within myself in all ways as life should be.
I commit to stop fearing others expressions within who they are and walk with and get to know others in equality for real stopping the illusions of thoughts, judgments, and ideas, but physical on a real level see who the person is over time and access in common sense and in self honesty equal and one to how I would like to be treated and walk what is real here in physical reality.
I commit to stop fearing what others think of me or who I am within how i express myself and thus stop fearing my own expression. I commit to allow myself to express myself in freedom and without limitation and stop the fear of living me.
I commit to stop the judgment of others within who they are and how they express themselves and allow all life to live without limitation as mind delusions and walk equal and one with others as how I would like to be treated.
I commit to stop abusing my body and physical for the mind as fears and ideas of myself so thus I commit to take responsibility and face myself in who I am here in all ways by self investigating and forgiving myself for the points that do not honor life as myself in oneness and equal, and always walk the correction to direct myself as life in decency and what is best for all.
piercings, pierce my body, tattoos, homosexual, sexuality, sex, fear, society norms, freedom, equality, equal life, eqafe, desteni, journey to life, 2012
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