Showing posts with label I think i am evil. Show all posts
Showing posts with label I think i am evil. Show all posts

Monday, November 12, 2012

Day 171 - Resistance to Change – Part 2 – Fear of No Money – Self Commitment Statements




I commit myself to when and as I go into fear about not being able to survive or have money, I stop and breath, and focus on the practical steps I am taking to get stable, and thus continue to walk these practical steps to ensure that I give myself the best opportunity to support myself and walk in the system to become stable.

I commit myself to when and as I go into fear of not being able to make it, I breath and say stop, and then stop participating in the pictures and thoughts that have me failing. I breathe and focus on my physical action, continuing to push stopping participating in the energy as the mind as thoughts and pictures.

I commit myself to walk the practical steps necessary within the system to ensure that I am stable and able to make a difference in this system by being part of the system, but here breathing stable within myself through continuing to walk my process of stopping the mind.

I commit myself to let go of the pictures of me on the street and not making it, by breathing through and not participating in them, focusing on the physical and what I am doing physically practically to support myself. I commit myself to not accept myself to go into hopelessness as this is not real and is a distraction to get to the point were I realize I will be stable and be able to support myself in the system through steps in the physical.

I commit myself to when and if I see myself going into a depressive state where I am resisting doing my responsibilities, I stop breath and do not accept this state, realizing that this is only the mind acceptance I am existing in, and I can remain in the physical through breath, walking the physical steps, breath by breath, one step at a time, until I accumulate myself into a stable point.

I commit myself to not accept myself to exist within self interest, by staying focused on the principles of what is here and what will create a better world for all, and that is the equality of all and that I will only benefit if all are able to benefit , realizing that self interest is one of the main sources for the way the world is now in suffering, so I don’t accept within myself, and only focus and live what is best for all.

I commit myself to walk the message and spreading the message of the equal money system where all will be able to live and thus educate others as well as continuing to educate myself on the reasons and purposes behind why the equal money system is best and how it will practically create a better world for all, so pushing to expand myself in this always, and educate others about this and the desteni process of self perfection as best I can, stopping the judgment of myself, and walking the physical practical reality of the problems and the solutions, so people see and realize there is another way for humanity through taking self responsibility and living the change, this through me being an example, so I push myself to be a proper and accurate example of this.



#changetheworld, abused animals, demon possession, desire, desteni, evil behavior, evil spirits, i am possessed, I think i am evil, journeytolife, mind illusions, spitefulness, abuser, I abuse others, stop abuse, death, positive light, love, good feelings

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Day 170 – Resistance to Change – Part 2 – Fear of No Money – Self Forgiveness




Here looking at the dimension of resisting change within process where I fear not having money and not being able to pay my bills on time, this fear is also a fear of losing my good standing in credit value, which is interesting as a hold a value of myself as a ‘good and savvy’ spender, and thus I don’t want to lose this status as I will have a hard time getting loans out. So to dig deeper within this point, it’s a fear of not being able to get a home or a car, or necessities I need easily, and having to struggle to get the comforts I will need to live a comfortable life, I fear struggling and not having money to survive.

But within this there is a practical way to walk this, were I can make decisions in awareness of all the different aspects I will face and make informed decisions based on what assessments I have made in common sense to work for me and also not compromise myself within my process of standing for life. I can walk this by stopping the fear, and making sure I walk the system as it is now, so I do have that stability in the future for when I need it so I can stand within my responsibilities and not be hindered by bad decisions I made in the past, such as buying a car that is more expensive then I need, and going with a common sensical decision that saves money and is also practically suitable for what I will need it for.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that fear of not having money and not being able to survive is not a reasonable point to allow to direct me as this is based on something that is not based on reality considerations but irrational reason fueled by energy as emotion as fear. I realize that there are practical steps I can take in common sense to assure that I am stable in the system, which require to walk steps within the system and co-operate with the system as it is now, but also can create myself in ways that support myself to stand up for a solution through the avenues of words and walking my process in visibility so others can learn and the message of equality and oneness with all life can grow.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to energize the fear of struggling and not having money through thoughts and pictures of me being on the street with no place to go, and accept these thoughts and pictures to scare me into a depressive state, where I go into a hopelessness that I will never make anything of myself, I am not going to be able to get a job to support myself and be able to live in a certain comfort ability and stability. I realize that this fear is irrational and only holding me within a petrification where I can't move myself physically as I am locked within the energy as fear as a negative emotion, I understand though that this emotion is in fact not real and doesn’t have to direct and control me, but I can walk through this fear and direct myself to support myself and the direction I take to always consider what is best for all and thus what will be best for myself through common sense assessment and walking principled in what's best.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow an emotion as fear create an outflow in my world in which I participated and thus made real within my living as a hopelessness in where I lived out this point by becoming depressed and walloping in this depressive state believing that I can not do anything for myself and that I am no good, when all the while I am doing nothing to support myself, wasting my time in a state that is made up in the mind, where I realize the solution is not in the mind but in my physical action within walking and moving myself physically in the direction that will support me into stability in my living day to day as well as moving in the overall process as myself in this world system, to function and become excellent within who I am as a living being in the service and honor of creating a world that will support all equal and give dignity to all by creating myself in this image and likeness through my actions and my words in practical avenues that is best for all life always.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as self interest in this desire to have a certain specific outcome in my living as comfortable and safe in which I desire this for myself over all within this world, I desire to have money so I can individually not suffer, while I participate and continue to exist and prosper off a system that allow billions to suffer daily. I realize and understand the deliberate brutality and ignorance I exist within to only look out for and desire my own special heaven within my safenet as money while there are others who go without. I then realize that this is unacceptable for me to be this way as I wouldn’t want this for myself hence the desire for survival as I understand everyone want to live, life is meant for living not suffering, and thus I see that I must walk the path to correction within each and every thought, word, deed I walk to be considerate of all the life it will effect and take into value the living consequence I will leave for myself and for all the life I am effecting, and so change myself so no one is abused or made to suffer in anyway I am able to prevent this through my own self will in awareness in my process to self perfection. So I walk the solution that is here through the self perfection process at desteni as well as the solution for the world system as the equal money system from birth.


Self Commitment statements for tomorrow's blog, thanks for reading.



For Further Support, Please check out Links:

Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to LIfe
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki






#changetheworld, abused animals, demon possession, desire, desteni, evil behavior, evil spirits, i am possessed, I think i am evil, journeytolife, mind illusions, spitefulness, abuser, I abuse others, stop abuse, death, positive light, love, good feelings

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Day 168 – Spitefulness is Nasty – Self Correction

I commit myself to when and as I see that I am going into a spitefulness based on a perception of not being seen in a particular way, I stop and breath, and correct this point with stopping the thoughts and not participating with other until I am clear and able to stand equal to the other in consideration of the other as myself in what is best for all.

I commit myself to when I see I am going in to a perception of how others should be or are thinking or seeing me, stop and breath, and focus on the physical, also focus on myself and what I am walking within becoming aware of my actions and words and aligning that which I am aware of to be equal and one in what is best for all in the situation I am in.

I commit myself to stop spitefulness by stopping going into this point of validation through others actions towards me by focusing on my own self equality and standing stable, I commit to stand here in stability as I process myself from the mind as illusion as thoughts, stopping this from directing me, and move into my physical body in slowly but surely directing myself within the physical in what I see in common sense to help those I am with in the best way I can through walking a self equality here stable and clear.

I commit myself to stop taking things personally by walking the realization that it is not about the external world, but who I am in relation to it within myself, and so I walk and commit to walk what is best for all as this is what I would want myself - what is best, so focusing on aligning the all points I live into an equal consideration with all the life I am interacting with in relative terms.

I commit myself to stop the desire to be seen in a specific way and thus push myself to walk humbleness and challenge the point within my self programming to act and be in a certain way, so thus I develop my own self expression and stop existing within the programming of desire to be a specific design.

I commit myself to stop the action of only doing or moving within a desire to get a positive outcome and thus I commit to walk the correction of seeing the physical in what practically has to be done, and stop the drive to do something or be someone to gain a feeling.

I commit myself to stop this point of revenge within stopping the desire to be accepted by others and thus I commit to stop the blame onto others when I perceived I haven’t been accepted, by pushing the acceptance of myself within and as each moment, and walking the correction within accepting what is here as me and correcting what is not aligned to what is best for all within and as my daily living.

I commit myself to let go of feelings and walk what is here in the physical direct and in self support of who I am as life and what is best for all in the solutions and process I walk to create this best way of life for all in the physical, focusing on the facts within physical practical reality and stopping the mind as thoughts, emotions, and feelings from directing me.

I commit myself to stop this point of addiction to feelings as energy, and walk the correction as living from the physical, living from breathing, and stopping my participation in energy as emotions, feelings, thoughts, reactions, really any separation from what is here as myself as life. I commit to walk each moment in acceptance, until I am here and moved by nothing but my own awareness in directive will for what is best for all.



For Further Support, Please check out Links:

Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to LIfe
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki






#changetheworld, abused animals, demon possession, desire, desteni, evil behavior, evil spirits, i am possessed, I think i am evil, journeytolife, mind illusions, spitefulness, abuser, I abuse others, stop abuse, death, positive light, love, good feelings

Day 167 – Spitefulness is Nasty – Self Forgiveness





I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into spitefulness when I find that I am desiring to be seen in a particular way and when I find that my reality or the people in my reality are not aligning with my desire to be seen in this specific way as special, better, more, I will go into reaction as spitefulness as I have perceived this as a personal attack and thus feel invalidated. I realize that within and as this point of desire to be seen in a certain way, I will use spitefulness to get my self-interest met with any means necessary to thus fulfill this desire of being perceived by others as the best..

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to thus within this desire to be seen within a positive in validation through others participation with me, I will activate spitefulness when I am not receiving the positive outcome from the other through my perception of how they are interacting with me. I realize that when I go into perceiving how others areseeing me or thinking about me, I am in this moment devaluing myself and my power in the physical, based on going into separation and desiring to be seen within a specific outcome, and then going into a deeper dimension by getting spiteful if I am not perceived in the way I desire, which I will act out in being nasty towards the other for no reason but my own self interest of not being validated.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to base myself and my living on the perception of how others are thinking about me and thus go into abuse and harm as spitefulness when I am perceiving within myself that I am not being seen in a positive way by the other, and thus I will not get my positive feeling from them, and thus based on this not getting my positive feelings I will be spiteful because I desire that and will go into deliberate revenge to get back at that being I have blamed for this perception I made that I will not be getting my positive feeling from them. I realize the unacceptable nature of this pattern where I create dimensions in my head that are not real or based on no facts, but done within self interest because I will not be able to generate positive feelings from the other because they are not validating me and thus will go into the deliberate action of abuse because I didn’t get what I wanted, I didn’t get my energy fix, and thus because I have not accepted myself here fully, I am devaluing myself as well as the life I am living for the mind, for ego, for a ‘fleeting’ feelings of feeling good.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only exist within my self interest in only caring about my self feeling good or feeling validated because I am not giving this to myself, I am not accepting myself and thus putting this responsibility on others when I won’t even give this to myself and thus within my world I will create a war with others just based on this fact that I don’t accept myself and I seek others to make me feel good. I realize that I have to let go of this point of self interest of wanting to be seen within a specific way as ‘good’ or ‘special’ or ‘admired’ because I am separating myself from that which is not this and thus believing that these polarities points are who I am, so thus I create the conflictand friction in my own world by participating in this desire to be more and being spiteful when I don’t get what I desire and thus blaming it on the external when it has to do with the internal and not accepting myself here.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted myself here in humbleness in the realization that I am life and I am here within the opportunity to become life again, and thus deliberately being abusive and spiteful because I want a specific outcome or a specific reaction from another so I can have good feelings for myself. I realize I will never be life because I am not life in such abusive ways of being as spiteful, which cause me to be an abuser as I am only existing within what I can get and what I want never considering the other as myself in anyway whatsoever. So until I decide to stop this separation within my own self interest of this desire to be more then who I am here and be ok with that, and stop the resistance, I will never be free but always a slave to my mind because I am existing as the mind, as a parasite, as a abuser of what is here and what is real, life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to spite life and abuse life for my own gain within feeling good within myself, I realize that this is an addiction to energy movement, and thus I commit myself to stop this point ofaddiction to feelings as energy, and walk the correction as living from the physical, living from breathing, and stopping my participation in energy as emotions, feelings, thoughts, reactions, any separation from what is here as myself as life. I commit to walk each moment in acceptance, until I am here and moved by nothing but my own awareness in directive will as what is best for all.

Self Commitments to Follow. Thanks for reading.


Interview Support:

Reptilians – When Energy stops and Substance/Physicality Remains – Part 60

Reptilians – From Energy Experience to Energy to Substance/Physicality – Part 61


For Further Support, Please check out Links:

Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to LIfe
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki





#changetheworld, abused animals, demon possession, desire, desteni, evil behavior, evil spirits, i am possessed, I think i am evil, journeytolife, mind illusions, spitefulness, abuser, I abuse others, stop abuse, death, positive light, love, good feelings

Friday, November 2, 2012

Day 166 - Spitefulness is Nasty





Here looking at the point of being spiteful, I find this point arises when I have been in a point of negative experience, and then I will seek out a point of validation to bring me back to the positive, and so I use spite to fuel this point of validation to be nasty to another because within myself I am taking it personally to whatever created the negative polarity I am blaming this other for, and thus then desire to go back into the good feelings/the positive to feel ok again. This is not acceptable as it’s not taking self responsibility for my actions, and so I use spite to hide the fact that I am not facing myself and thus using others as deflection points from really seeing who I am.

For instance, when I was working on the painting of the house, and someone came to me and said ‘no that is not the right way to paint as it’ll cause cracking, this is how I usually do it”, not in any point of blame or devaluing me, but simply directing me on how it should be done properly. Within myself, I took this personally, such as having the thought, “this person is trying to tell me what to do, thinking I am some dumb idiot that doesn’t know how to paint a house, I mean, come on this person is a real asshole.” From this point on throughout my day, I would go into the competition point to all those people that I saw I had an irritation towards, based on taking this painting incident personally, this irritation point activated and my spitefulness desire was there to get revenge because my ‘ego’ was being attacked with another trying to tell me what to do. I was not being seen and or validated within my desires to be seen in perfection or the best in the group as I was told how to do something, and so I wanted control back and allowed irritation to direct me because I wasn’t getting my own way.

But behind this what is really fueling this spitefulness is inferiority, and needing this point of acceptance from others and desiring to be seen in this specific way because I want a certain outcome, I want control of what I am doing, so I use spite to get back at the point that I reacted to, so I can bring myself back to this positive feeling within myself again. Also, within me though there is this point of self judgment, that I am not good enough and so I have to get this acceptance from my external world for this to be validated, and when I am not given this feedback, spitefulness is what I use to get back at that which that didn’t give me the feedback I desired to make me feel good again. So interesting this is really based on my addiction to positive feeling, energy, within the mind, disregarded the physical reality and the physical beings I am abusing and causing harm to.

This thought of calling them an asshole, creates within my whole reality a starting point of revenge based on feeling like I have been wronged, and thus will then effect each interaction I had with that specific being until I corrected the point through self correction by speaking self forgiveness in releasing the point by realizing what I have done in a calm and stable platform, because when I hold it in and do not release it, it accumulates and get’s released as an emotion as spite, anger, irritation, and vengefulness. Within my world, these emotions direct me all day long because I am holding onto this spiteful desire to get back at someone, so it will go to however is in my world that caused the slightest bit of irritation.  For instance, I was rude to a girl who was simply just chatting with me, I also yelled at an animal because I lost my patience, which cause the abuse and dysfunction during the day that is not necessary, based on not being in reality, but in an alternate world in my head, if I stop my mind as this alternate reality from directing me then I stop the abuse and spitefulness I am existing within, it’s based on illusions as thoughts and emotions, in the physical everything is here and everything can be sorted in what is best for all in equality and oneness. But I allow this point of spitefulness because I myself desire to abuse others, what does that make me, the evil that exist in this world, am I EviL and how to stop this to change to really LivE. The path is here, I must walk it and change, this through self forgiveness and self corrective change.

More to follow in my next blog.