Day 16 - Commitment Phobia

www.wiki.desteni.org

I realized recently that one of my major self sabotage point has been fearing commitments, whenever I get into a commitment with someone or something I do not last long, I get to a point where i put myself in a dire decision, and in the extreme nature of the decision that i have to make - go left or go right, I find i have been doing it in haste, in fear, within my mind, causing lots of regret later on in life and shame, and more fear. I am in a way feel delinquent in making a decision that is practical and can be best for all, so more a self judgment of not being good enough or capable, This I am seeing based on the manner in which i make decisions, where i can do it in the moment, spontaneous, but it is not my real spontaneous decision as everything in this reality is preprogrammed not for what is best but for enslavement. 

The moments one is real to direct self is when one self investigate, walk self honesty and self forgiveness, commit to living change of self that is of living substance that supports life growth, and in this walk what is best for all as in living the commitment of change for oneself until it's done. The decision being one that was self investigated in self honesyt, self forgiven to understand the flaws, and researched and understood in the fact checking, pros and cons, and living the understanding that is best. 

So it's a point of self change and self discipline, principled standing within the physical actions it takes to actually walk such a deep dive into self and a decision for instance that has to be made. This will require dedication and perseverance cause the mind/reality is not easy, it takes a point of grit but it's here as self responsibility and must be done. 

Self Forgiveness

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear i am gong to make the wrong decision, i see, realize, and understand there is no wrong decision and what is here is what one create as ones thoughts, words, and deeds, thus i see, and I commit to standing in my shoes and all others and creating a decision for myself that is best for all the best i can understand by living the process to understand all facets and facts of the decision I am about to make. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go into a form of self harm where i feel as if i do not have the ability or understanding to make a decision in my life that is best for all and will support life in it's fullest expression based on carrying my past here and seeing on all the rotten decisions i have made in specific moments in my life. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself and not forgive myself fully for the past mistakes as actions done in the physical where i did not chose a path of best for all living, and in this create a point of self abuse and harm to see myself less then others and inferior and i can never stand as an equal.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as not equal and a lesser version of life who doesn't have any real worth and doesn't really need to exist/be here cause i will just continue to make the wrong decision and harm abuse life/myself. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand the decisions made where based on not slowing down and walking the timelines within self investigation and self commitment to understand the ins and outs and fine tune the information so i can gather the facts and make an informed decision, but based on impatience i move in a way of self compromise which causes my life to be compromised and chaotic as it's not stable nor predictable but done in the moment. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to decide that i am going to live impatience and not actually walk the step by step it takes which creates my life to be stable, but continue this, which is self abdication of responsibility to make a decision in a patient manner best one can as this is best for all and common sense.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed laziness within decision making where i don't slow down, but rush cause i allow the energy of it's too much pressure, it's too much to understand, i don't know, and the energy built up of these thoughts as pressure and tightness in my chest and into my head, where i feel like i have to just do it, not seeing, realizing, and understanding that i can breathe through the energy, releasing it, and finding the solutions within the slowing down and self investigation, writing/sounding self forgiveness, and change. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become lazy and complacent in my responsibility to be my highest potential this life, and in this expect too much and so built up energy.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become robotic and just have my mind blurt out the decision in the moment and live with the consequences of the chaos that'll ensue as i did not walk the self responsibility to under-stand what it is i am deciding on and will direct my life with.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give into the mind in the hast decisions and so not care in the outcome but me getting a fix of energy as a release of the pressure i allowed within the thinking thoughts, and in desire relaxing instead of walking the decision properly.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire a release rather then breathing through the energy and walking self forgiveness until i release the energy and direct it myself back to the earth, substance, my physical.

I see, realize, and understand i am responsible for myself and my actions and decisions.

I commit myself to as best i am able to take some time and space to write out a decision i am going to make, research ways to walk such a decision, and put it into writing and myself into it where i find the facts, and make an informed decision best i am able to when and as the moments arise and come up to do such a point.

I commit myself to stop judging myself for not living the best decision that i could have made. 

I commit myself to live the word patience which is to pay attention to my life and the life of all involved, and what is in fact best for all.

I commit myself to understand what is best for all within the actions and decisions i make and ultimately what is best for all life and will birth life within who i am as my life which will support in my outer life/world as well. 

Next blog on - relationship commitment fears.

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Self Help course to start the journey to life:
lite.desteniiprocess.com


Best for all life until it's done.

Some More on My Journey with Self Honesty and DIP - Day 574

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"2. The Principle of Self-Honesty

Reflecting on myself and seeing every part of me (the good, bad, and ugly) without bias or judgment so that I can take responsibility to change that which I no longer accept and allow."
http://desteni.org/about-us/desteni-principles

So in past blogs I shared on different aspects of self honesty and how I have lived these words for myself, though this process is a journey I have found, it is not something that I can see ending. This is because self-honesty always challenges you, always pushes you to your outer limits and then pushes beyond that, so it's like an expanding (as I see it) adventure we are on. The adventure is the process one walks as you touch depths that have been untouched for eons of time within self, we have through alignments being made and lived, finally got an understanding of who we are and how we relate to the mind consciousness system. This is explained immensely in eqafe.com and all topics of human and all life.

This process of self-honesty also requires real humility and understanding as one face the most intense parts about this world and about self within it all. One point I have found that has been solid throughout my ten years of walking this process with self honesty is the fact that whatever opens up and is here to be introspected and considered in my honesty, I find the moment it opens up I realize and have a trust within me that I will see it through, that I can handle it, that I must walk this path and see it through to realize who I am within it. I find this point of adventure is lined within this process of self honesty because one is always pushing the edge of one's existence, though it also is a simplistic process in terms of the repetition of tools that are used and support you throughout, they are often referred to as 'The Basics'.

The self honest path of life brings you to question yourself and ask yourself who will you be in the face of your own abuse, the worst of yourself, the pain, the suffering you caused others, and deciding in moments how to direct oneself through all the accumulated consequence that has been accrued. This task seems scary at times and at times it is, though through these moments one can and does empower oneself if lived in self honest consideration and live the solution that is best for all. I have fallen hundreds of times, but that does not stop me as it is said it doesn't matter how many times you fall, what matters is that you get up and make a change for the better. This is what matters, the life that is being created through these realizations of self in one's own inner self honest moments one is going to face and decide on.

There is always support, one must though align with one's self honesty and live this as who one is to access these parts of self that have always been here, waiting to be 'found' and 'discovered' yet it is just an illusion, we have always been here walking with everything, self honesty brings what is real into awareness for us to face and live as a redefinition to keep walking the path of self creation in what is best for all.

Enjoy.

Support and educate yourself on the links shared:

http://www.eqafe.com - Check out the new unlimited subscription plan at Eqafe, it's fantastic!
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com
www.destonians.com
http://www.desteni.org
http://www.earthhaven.org

When the Mind Says "I Can't" - Day 477

Here sharing an experience of self empowerment I realized that all can walk and live. Enjoy.

http://www.desteniiprocess.com
http://www.lite.desteniiprocess.com
http://www.forum.desteni.org
http://www.eqafe.com
http://www.destonians.com

Karma - Redefining the Word to Live Best for All - Day 472

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Karma for me as a point within my life has been more a point of mystery or way to out there, meaning that because of the religion my family followed, they feared anything that was outside of the familiar. So Karma was something that I didn’t study or really understand till I was more in high school because my family didn't believe in reincarnation. And within high school, I saw Karma more as a point of revenge, where if someone harmed me I desired them to get it back with this belief that Karma will get them and then within the point of harming another, I feared that in some way that I would get it in return. So in a way this stopped me from going all out in being out of control within my actions, but also it was not done within awareness nor based on common sense. So I will do some self forgiveness to clear the point.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go into an energetic experience of desire toward others within the idea that karma is real and that i wanted it to hit others in a way were i would get revenge on them.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to put my own self interest of seeking revenge on another within the idea of karma instead of seeing what it directly means and living within it based on the facts of what is here.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see that within my own desires of seeking revenge on another, i am instigating karma onto myself as I am living the exact same as those whom do harm to me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that within the fact of thinking of harm onto another I am going to get harm in return as I am the other and the other is me one and equal as the physical.

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand the understanding of what i do onto another i do unto myself as I am the other as we are all here as life as this physical reality and we are one and so equal within this fact.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to place energy within the act of karma where in I seek revenge based on taking what another did to me personal and believing that i am not responsible for what has happened to me and/or i believe that i can blame and then seek revenge onto them through the idea I had created of Karma as revenge.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to place emotions and feelings onto the principle of karma and so create an experience of what is karma instead of living by the principle of what it in fact means in the nature law of this existence.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to harm another in any way in my world and not live what is best for all in all ways always.

When and as I see i am going into a point of desiring another to have revenge done unto them through the principle of karma, i stop and breath, and realize that within this very directive of myself of taking revenge on another I am equally doing this onto myself as I and the other are one and equal. So i see, realize, and understand that I am harming myself when i harm another equal and one.

I commit myself to let go of the emotions toward the principle of karma through redefining it to a direct fact and living it’s re-definition.

I commit myself to stop judging, blaming, and projecting responsibility onto others.

I commit myself to take responsibility for all parts of my world and balance it back into equilibrium within the principle of karma.

I commit myself to stand within what is best for all by living and so honoring the nature of who i am as life within and as all that exist here as self.

So looking at the current definition of the word Karma, it says:

(Hinduism and Buddhism) the effects of a person's actions that determine his destiny in his next incarnation

To look at the word play:

Karma
k - armor
can harm her

Not much revealed there, though i do see that within the statement ‘can harm her’ it is showing that there is a decision by self, we choose to do harm or do what’s best, it’s self decision alone. Within this self decision of how one lives, there are consequences that will outflow from self's actions. So Karma is a state of being meaning you as a physical being are a creator and so can create whatever it is that one want. Though living the realization is key of when we create from physical matter as our life and our decisions with this, there are physical effects to our actions and these effects create consequence, through this one will live within and as and so have to stand within and take responsibility for the consequences you create. This is karma, so the point of learning and understanding within this redefinition is to realize karma exist as a fact it’s neither good nor bad, but simply is an outflow of a decision we as the creator create within our living reality here in physical matter as we act. We are ultimately responsible for all that we create, and so it is suggested and makes the most sense to create in what is best for all as this is in essence best for self as all life is one and equal as all life is here as the physical reality.

Redefinition of the word Karma - the living of self within the decision one makes as a creator of who one is within the understanding of the responsibility one upholds within the act of creation and so face the consequences that will inevitably outflow from this self decision.

Interviews to support on Living Responsibility:

Bernard Poolman - You are me in another life
Self-Responsibility - Destonian Wiki
Jesus - Responsibility 

Check Out these Awesome supportive sites:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Walking This Process
Destonian Social Network
Self and Living Store
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site

The Decision – Day 330

Within this process being walked of self honesty to correct one’s living to become equal and one with all life, one will face decisions, and at a certain point an absolute decision to either stand as and for life here in the physical or continue within the mind as a programmed response organic robot. This decision is quite a process to walk because all we have ever been is these programmed robots being automated based on feelings, emotions, thoughts, memories, but we are more then just these automated responses. I have found when looking at this decision, to live or stay a robot, the choice is clear because obviously I want to be life and live, the problem being is that I not only have to make the decision to live, but I have to actually do it as well, I have to live, I have to be life for real, and life is here living simplistically in the physical with no mind, no thoughts, no feelings, no emotions, the trees are a living example of life, so it’s like to be like a tree so to speak, here, breathing, living, and supporting in equality. So this process that has to be walked, making the decision not only here now, but in each breath to come and to stick to reality, live what is best, live from practical common sense, and stop the mind from directing oneself into compromise is some of the components to get this done.  

I am seeing what is helping with my decision as I have started to dedicate myself to this point is to slow down within what I am doing, I am practicing being in my movements, in my physical body, feeling my feet on the ground, my fingers typing each letter on the keyboard, and staying focused on what is real, my physical body as much as possible. The mind always wants to creep in and take over, but as I have been practicing this technique I am seeing that I am becoming more aware of the mind and me as the mind movements. I have not gotten to the point where I am able to remain stable here within the body for long periods of time, staying within the movements each moment or each breath, but it is becoming more and more stable as I practice.

Also, another point I am finding supportive within making this decision to live and stop my mind, which was described in detail tonight with the Metaphysical Secrets of imagination – part 25 I had the opportunity to sit in on live, is that to be here one have to let go of the past moment, not bring these past happenings or expectations to the moment here and allow them to influence this new moment that is now happening because this separates you from the reality that is here and puts you into your mind where you will start the creation process of illusion through memories and thoughts, and these will accumulate to make it more difficult to be here in your physical body until they are cleared with self forgiveness and self change. So it’s a process to walk as been said before, but through consistent application and will it can be done. Space and time will tell of course, so I must not waste these breaths I am given to make sure I live the best I am able to and walk what has to be walked to ensure life is brought back to natural order where all are equal and one starting within my very internal world.

So the decision is a foundational stability point I have found based on realizing that there is only the option of equality and oneness of life and stopping the mind as ourselves in abuse and so this grounds me into an understanding of what I am doing, how I can move forward, and gives me a starting point to always work from and sustain myself as. And so I can bring it back to the physical in common sense living when I see I get lost into my mind for a moment, and realize instantly ok, the decision, I am walking to life, to the physical, to me here equal and one with what is real. I can always bring the decision here when getting overwhelmed with points coming up within the mind or feel low or in a mind state, to ‘remember’ who I am and what I am doing here. I realize I am the decision, my life will be proof of who I am as the decision and what I have made of this life I was gifted. I realize within my beingness what I am to do, how I am to be, and the gift that awaits all who walk this decision to be life and restore equality and oneness to who we are as life in all ways until it is done is the greatest gift you can give to yourself and to all others.


Recommended Links to Check Out:
Free Desteni I Process Lite Course for All Ages
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to Life
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki
Basic Income Guarantee
Equal Money System Website
Equal Life Foundation

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