Thursday, November 8, 2012

Day 169- Resistances to Change - Part 1

One point I fear losing if I change is my comfort within myself, I have a certain way of living where I always know there is a space within me where I can be comfortable and be able to count on that space to get me through tough times and places I don’t necessarily want to be. It’s not a real comfort though I have found, it’s more a seclusion and isolation point that I allow myself to go into within myself, where I kind of sit in a limbo, as I am within this point to avoid my responsibilities and facing myself. Within this comfort space though, I feel good and protected, like I can’t and won’t be able to be abusedor attacked when I am in this space, nothing effects me, so I resist losing this space within myself because then I feel vulnerable to others because I don’t trust others, so thus essentially showing that I don’t trust myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use my own mind as a comfort in escaping my responsibilities to find that seclusion point within myself where I can control what I am doing as well as not allow others to get in my space. This by physically removing myself from the spaces of others, as it’s due to not wanting to have to really change, Ifear this change as it’s putting myself out there where I can’t hide and can’t escape.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always want control of myself within my environment, and thus use this point of seclusion to be able to re-group and thus when I participate in energies and they become overwhelming use this point of going within to calm the energies and get myself re-charged to be able to control myself within my environment once more as it’s quite unstable within myself, so I can feel protected and secure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist being with others and thus desire to go into myself more because I don’t want to deal with what others present to me, and that is myself, my emotions, feelings, and thoughts in relation to how I am allowing myself to be around others, separating myself from the others, and thus resist these situations of being with others because I know I can go back in to this seclusion point and be safe with myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have to be safe and comfortable within myself to feel that I can keep going and thus resist this opposite feeling of being with others because I don’t feel safe/stable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that I will not be safe with others and thus create this fear within me of being around others, thus I resist this point of change within my environment because I have allowed this fear to direct me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist change based on fear and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist interacting with others and thus accessed my mind within myself as comfort, so I don’t have to face who I am with others but can stay in illusion allowing my mind to entertain me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the mind and allow it to be a comfort instead of realizing the abuse that this is causing not only to myself, but countless beings who are being ostracized and abused because people only see illusion as the mind and not what’s really here as physical reality.

I commit myself to when and as I see that I am going into that resistance point with being with others and want to escape into my own space, I stop and breath and do not accept myself to go into this point by physically moving myself to interact with the others and breath through the discomfort and resistances until I am stable.

I commit myself to stop the resistances to changing my environment and my world based on fear, so I will walk through this fear and face that which I am uncomfortable with in my environment to investigate why this is so, and thus change it if it is common sense to do so.

I commit myself to let go of this desire to control my environment by breathing within and as each environment I go into, and realizing that I am here, walking stable and stopping the desire for a specific outcome.

I commit myself to walk an acceptance of others and stop the prejudgment that I am not ok, and thus stopping this point of escape as protection by stopping my actions of isolating and secluding myself.

For Further Support, Please check out Links:

Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to LIfe
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki

resist change, i can't change, impossible living, i hate changes, life after hell, fear of people, group think, psychological issues, trauma, child abuse, desteni, equality, eqafe, #jounrneytolife

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