Friday, November 23, 2012

Day 178 - Not Getting a Laugh

Check out this blog for reference, Day 177 - The 'Why Me' Excuse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it as a personal attack when I make a joke and the people or person doesn't laugh or give me the reaction I expected to get. I realize that when and as I create an expectation in my mind of how I want to be received within saying something to another, I create a point of expectation that if I don't receive will create disappointment, and thus I then create a blame of the other for giving me this feeling of disappointment.

I commit myself to when and as I go into this point of expectation of how others should receive me and treat me within this desire to have a feeling of being liked, I stop and breath. I walk the correction by saying the joke within a point of enjoyment for all, and realize and allow people to make their own decisions about it. I stop all points of self interest for a specific desire to be liked as I accept and become stable with myself and how I am, not allowing myself to be determined by others reaction towards me.

In this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to the feeling of being liked and laugh at within others seeing me as funny and thus defining myself as valuable when I am seen as funny by others. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a value judgment of how I am in separation to life here as all and thus create a separation within myself towards others as some are funny and some are not, and create a judgment of those who are funny as being more valuable then those who are not, and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be seen as funny as I have valued this as being better then not being funny. I realize that within and as creating value judgments in either a positive or negative polarity towards any point in life and thus allowing myself to be defined within this polarity play out, I am separating myself from fully living one and equal with others because I am creating a point of separating myself from others from the only value that matters which is life in equality and treating all as such, stopping the separation  Separating myself into more or less and creating a definition of this in my mind towards life instantly separates me from my full potential as life as I am not life, but have created a limited version from who I really am as life as one and equal with all as the physical.

I commit myself to when and as I go into a point of desire to be seen in a specific way, immediately stop my participation in thoughts, and investigate the thoughts patterns and characters I went into in writing, so to not allow myself to go into these thoughts patterns and characters from allowing to reoccur and direct me. I commit myself to stop and breath when these thoughts come up again, and let go of the desires to be seen in a specific way, by not going into the desires, not feeding them, and pushing myself to walk as equals with others, find ways and solutions to live in equality through focusing on the physical and living in ways that will support everyone.

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