Sunday, November 4, 2012

Day 167 – Spitefulness is Nasty – Self Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into spitefulness when I find that I am desiring to be seen in a particular way and when I find that my reality or the people in my reality are not aligning with my desire to be seen in this specific way as special, better, more, I will go into reaction as spitefulness as I have perceived this as a personal attack and thus feel invalidated. I realize that within and as this point of desire to be seen in a certain way, I will use spitefulness to get my self-interest met with any means necessary to thus fulfill this desire of being perceived by others as the best..

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to thus within this desire to be seen within a positive in validation through others participation with me, I will activate spitefulness when I am not receiving the positive outcome from the other through my perception of how they are interacting with me. I realize that when I go into perceiving how others areseeing me or thinking about me, I am in this moment devaluing myself and my power in the physical, based on going into separation and desiring to be seen within a specific outcome, and then going into a deeper dimension by getting spiteful if I am not perceived in the way I desire, which I will act out in being nasty towards the other for no reason but my own self interest of not being validated.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to base myself and my living on the perception of how others are thinking about me and thus go into abuse and harm as spitefulness when I am perceiving within myself that I am not being seen in a positive way by the other, and thus I will not get my positive feeling from them, and thus based on this not getting my positive feelings I will be spiteful because I desire that and will go into deliberate revenge to get back at that being I have blamed for this perception I made that I will not be getting my positive feeling from them. I realize the unacceptable nature of this pattern where I create dimensions in my head that are not real or based on no facts, but done within self interest because I will not be able to generate positive feelings from the other because they are not validating me and thus will go into the deliberate action of abuse because I didn’t get what I wanted, I didn’t get my energy fix, and thus because I have not accepted myself here fully, I am devaluing myself as well as the life I am living for the mind, for ego, for a ‘fleeting’ feelings of feeling good.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only exist within my self interest in only caring about my self feeling good or feeling validated because I am not giving this to myself, I am not accepting myself and thus putting this responsibility on others when I won’t even give this to myself and thus within my world I will create a war with others just based on this fact that I don’t accept myself and I seek others to make me feel good. I realize that I have to let go of this point of self interest of wanting to be seen within a specific way as ‘good’ or ‘special’ or ‘admired’ because I am separating myself from that which is not this and thus believing that these polarities points are who I am, so thus I create the conflictand friction in my own world by participating in this desire to be more and being spiteful when I don’t get what I desire and thus blaming it on the external when it has to do with the internal and not accepting myself here.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted myself here in humbleness in the realization that I am life and I am here within the opportunity to become life again, and thus deliberately being abusive and spiteful because I want a specific outcome or a specific reaction from another so I can have good feelings for myself. I realize I will never be life because I am not life in such abusive ways of being as spiteful, which cause me to be an abuser as I am only existing within what I can get and what I want never considering the other as myself in anyway whatsoever. So until I decide to stop this separation within my own self interest of this desire to be more then who I am here and be ok with that, and stop the resistance, I will never be free but always a slave to my mind because I am existing as the mind, as a parasite, as a abuser of what is here and what is real, life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to spite life and abuse life for my own gain within feeling good within myself, I realize that this is an addiction to energy movement, and thus I commit myself to stop this point ofaddiction to feelings as energy, and walk the correction as living from the physical, living from breathing, and stopping my participation in energy as emotions, feelings, thoughts, reactions, any separation from what is here as myself as life. I commit to walk each moment in acceptance, until I am here and moved by nothing but my own awareness in directive will as what is best for all.

Self Commitments to Follow. Thanks for reading.

Interview Support:

Reptilians – When Energy stops and Substance/Physicality Remains – Part 60

Reptilians – From Energy Experience to Energy to Substance/Physicality – Part 61

For Further Support, Please check out Links:

Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to LIfe
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki

#changetheworld, abused animals, demon possession, desire, desteni, evil behavior, evil spirits, i am possessed, I think i am evil, journeytolife, mind illusions, spitefulness, abuser, I abuse others, stop abuse, death, positive light, love, good feelings

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