Showing posts with label strange. Show all posts
Showing posts with label strange. Show all posts

Sunday, March 31, 2013

Day 267 – What Does the Word Loser Imply? – Self Corrections to Live



Please reference these blogs for further perspective on this post:
Day 265 – What Does Being A Loser Imply? Behind Words
Day 266 – What Does the Word Loser Imply? – Self Forgiveness

When and as I see myself give my power away to my ideas of the word loser and thus see myself at a lose, I stop and breath, realizing that I can only lose power or am at a lost within myself if I give my power away by defining myself by this world through the mind as seeing me subject to it and taking my ideas of me being a loser or inadequate as a real definition of me. I realize I am the one who directs myself and words into meaning and understand, and thus I define who I am alone.

I commit myself to walk the point of not accepting myself to be moved by hearing the sound of the word loser being directed at me or another, through breathing, and realizing that I am not defined by this word as my beliefs and so I walk the commit to let go of the beliefs that I am inadequate within myself when I am called this or another is.

I commit to walk the practical point of directing the word into an understanding for all, stopping the point ofpolarity with it that it creates with worthy/unworthy, but redefine it to be a universal meaning of the word that will fit it’s practical purpose of the word and define nothing but reality here.

When and as I go into a point of feeling inferior or inadequate within myself based on being called this word loser, I stop and breath, and realize that I am the one creating this feeling and belief of inadequacy and inferiority, and thus I realize I have the power to stop this belief and feelings and redirect myself through my living into letting it go and honoring myself and others as equals and live this.

I commit myself to let go of the fear and judgment of myself of seeing myself less then others.

I commit myself to walk as an equal in seeing that life here is equal, and thus I see that learning and growing is what is being walked within all walks of life, we all are in process of learning and growing, and thus I allow myself to walk this for myself, learn, grow, correct, and live and allow all life to walk this unconditional as well in this process of walking into self perfection.

I commit myself to stop the energy movement of fear and dread when I hear this word loser based on seeing that I am defining myself in this way because of the past, I stop the past from being here as the here is what is real, the past is gone.

I commit to walk what is here in breath and stop the past from controlling me, stop living from the past, and move my awareness to breath as life here in the physical.

When and as I see myself being in fear of my environment and people calling me names such as loser, I stop and breath, and realize that these people who call names are only showing their own true natures, this is not defining me nor do I have to take these sayings personal. I realize who I am and that I am not the words or phrases others speak of me, I am who I direct and thus define my own self to be, I am the creator of myself, I empower myself alone.

I commit to let go of this fear of being name called or ridiculed by others.

I commit to breath through this fear and allow people to say what they may, but also I stand within the principles of myself as an equal and support where I see I can and walk direct without taking it personal. It is not personal as life is all that is here and thus I realize what is being walked and what must be walked to see this for real is a process, and so I support life unconditionally.

I commit myself to stop taking all external words, gestures, behaviors personal as I realize I am walking process, life is not yet for real as life, and thus all that is here is in process, this is all me and I realize and commit to take responsibility of and for what is here as myself through my own process of self realization and self perfection and thus as the greater.

When and as I see that I am existing within my own mind as the losers and the winners within my world and reality in judgment and self interest, I stop and breath, realizing that I am not only perpetuating but creating this whole fear within me and thus within others that I desire to stop because I am living from fear. I realize I have to completely let go of the polarities within the mind as some and others or this and that, and walk into direct reality, what is here for real, and what will be the best outcome for all in humbleness in consideration of all that is here as me.

I commit myself to walk the point of letting go of all polarities within me, by embracing the other polarity I am trying to ignore, and thus seeing myself within it, what I am not accepting within myself, and accept it, write about it, self forgive the separation, and correct it into living it as myself in self responsible direction and correction.

I commit to stop using words for my own self interest and walk what is here within the practical purpose of words within a universal understanding of all to live and benefit from words in the best way possible.

I commit to end the abuse of others through changing my living behavior through writing self-forgiveness and self commitment statements of the patterns that need change, and living the change necessary to see this through by actually living it and stopping it in my day to day living. I commit to end abuse as myself in this world.


For Further Support, Please check out Links:
DIP Lite Free Course with Buddy Support
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to Life
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki


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Saturday, March 30, 2013

Day 266 – What Does the Word Loser Imply? – Self Forgiveness



Please reference this blog for further perspective on this post:
Day 265 – What Does Being A Loser Imply? Behind Words


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being called or associated with the word loser due to my ideas of the word defining me as less then others and thus fearing a part of myself being lost where another will gain over me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give the word loser more power then my own self direction realizing that I can only be defined by a word if I allow my ideas of it control me into fear and self compromise.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate lose of myself with the word loser due to fear and my idea of myself seen and thus defined as inadequate if I am called this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe myself to be inadequate and thus vulnerable to others calling me a loser and thus suppress myself and fear being associated with this word because I believe this to be real meaning, that I am inadequate and others can see this, thus showing that I am not standing within my own self, but in fear of others harm.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear others harming me and thus suppress myself due to fear of becoming vulnerable especially when hearing or being associated with the word loser as I believe that the labeling of a loser is the lose of my dignity within my environment and surrounding associates.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the idea and belief of this being true of being less then others if I am called a loser and become known as this by others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept ideas within my head and be directed by these ideas within me of polarities and comparisons and thus be lost within this play out with words and ideas in my mind of the idea of me being called a loser and how I am branded now and at a lose, instead of living from the physical and creating universal definitions for words that is it’s actual purpose and thus having directseeing in and as what is real as the physical and direct from here in reality rather then the mind which is illusionary and multi-faceted and not clear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually desire to use the word loser within myself and thus I hold onto it’s definition as real to make others inferior to me and me superior to gain more prestige and influence over others and in my surroundings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to harm others within the ideas I hold of loser and make them feel less then me and when it comes to me in this position, I desire mercy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not live the message and words of life of give unto others as you would want done unto you, and thus create abuse and harm to others and equally create that for myself based on creating ideas and beliefs of words and live them out to be true rather then living from the physical in universal understanding of what words mean and thus live this in consideration of what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the word loser and the ideas of inferiority to suit my needs and desire not to be lived within these same standards when I am the one who is now inferior and have now have been labeled in the same vain.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself into a split of superiority and inferiority when I realize that all life is one and equal with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to distort the word loser to suit me and thus at the same time fear it when I am in the negative polarity idea I have created of it and been labeled as this, and thus I see and realize I must redefine the word loser and live it within it’s actual purpose to be here and thus direct it in common understanding in all’s equal consideration.

Self Commitments and Redefinition to follow, thanks for reading.



For Further Support, Please check out Links:
DIP Lite Free Course with Buddy Support
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to Life
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki


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Friday, March 29, 2013

Day 265 – What Does Being A Loser Imply? Behind Words




I listened to Anu’s interview today, and he was discussing on family rivalry and competition, and how within this play out with siblings we easily go into the point of ‘winning’ and ‘losing’ based on the inherent desirewithin us to be strong and thus be the ‘winner’, and so obviously not be ‘weak’ and be the ‘loser’.

So the first step he suggested within looking at this whole point of sibling rivalry, is too re-define the words winning and losing, starting with lose, lost, and/or loser, so I will start with the word – loser. I have a reaction to this word within a resistances and tension, like I don’t want to be associated with this word, it’s like a real negative, horrible experience within myself when I see the word loser. This based on seeing it as I am losing something of myself and will not be able to get that part of me back, such as losing my face for instance with others, my fake face as strength and being a loser means I am not strong and thus will not be able to be a fake face with others because they will see me for who I am, my name associate with me in the peer group, thus branded and a bad brand is not something one want to be associated with as that mean you are outcasted.

Why I want to be a fake face though one may say, and this is based on survival, it’s a learned behavior only done by humans to put on a fake face to impress others one’s abilities and capabilities even if it is false or unfounded, if you can fake it you can make it mentality. This based on humans living within judgment, separation, and abuse towards each other for greed and power. So being a loser is a huge point of fear as I see myself within being associated with this word at a lose, outcasted, abused, and thus not being able to survive with others and get what I desire.

Also, within being called a loser, it’s a point of being degraded and made to feel less then others, and so being called this brings a lot of fear, and so when I see that I may or could be perceived as a loser, I will go into suppression within my expression in fear of being seen as less then others or being called this name. I didn’t want to be seen as different and not part of the group because within being a loser and out casted, you are no one, you are not liked, and thus life because much more difficult and strained, you become the target of abuse because you are now weak. Interesting how I and we as humans, so easily will put another into this position as a loser, claiming it’s not a big deal, it’s just a little poking fun, it’s the way nature is. But it’s not, it’s most certainly is deliberate, a point of putting another in their place, and showing others who you are in relation to them/that other, that I am superior and you are a loser. Human nature does not have to be this way, in abuse and separation towards others; we can be as equals and live ni harmony with others through stopping this behavior. Though within being the one who is being out casted, I know that its not fun and games and jokes, when I am the one being called it’s a real big deal, it’s hurtful, and it cause a lot of stress and anxiety within me.

I will walk self forgiveness in the next blog and redefine this word.


For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to Life
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki


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Monday, November 26, 2012

Day 180 – Introduction to My Anxiety - Fear of Exposure Part 1.2





I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge something that I have done or have had happen to me as bad and thus create a suppression around it based on fear of others finding out. I realize that when I create a suppression around a point I have judged I will go into this fear based on believing that I will be seen as bad for doing such an act or having something happen to me, which cause no solution within the point, but only accumulates energy and is stored as memories for me to limit myself from in my physical body because they are not being dealt with.

I commit myself to when and as I go into a judgment of an act I do or something that has been done to me as bad, I stop and breath, and do not allow the thoughts to continue as I realize this will limit me in my living and I see this as unbeneficial to and so I commit myself to when and as I go into judgment stop the thoughts and do self forgiveness to correct the point, and not allow it to have power over me, but direct it within the moment to a solution.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a memory within me of fear of exposure due to living this within the time I wet the bed, and holding onto this memory for some time within me, hiding it, based on this fear of not wanting others to know, and thus becoming manipulative so others will not find out and stunt my expression as I am being deceptive within this. I realize that within this fear and suppression I am not allowing myself to release the point and find out the origin of what it’s about and why it occurred, but instead creating more layers as the mind as memories as these thoughts of being exposed, and thus cause abuse to myself through suppressing and not releasing the point to be corrected.

I commit myself to when and as I find I am going into a suppression about a point I fear others finding out about, I stop and breath, and commit myself to write the point out in private, to find out the origin of the fear and suppression, and thus come to a solution so it doesn’t have power over me any longer, such as stopping the judgment which is not real and standing within stability of who I am and finding out the solution to the wetting or why it’s occurring to be corrected, and get it dealt with so I am free of it and have it stop having power over me because it is understood within myself instead of just suppressed and feared.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being outcasted by others based on holding onto the belief that those who wet the bed are not normal, and thus create a judgment against those that wet the bed. I realize that holding onto this judgment is useless as it only hinders me, when I can get the point corrected, as obviously there is a point that is not working properly within me, and thus stopping this belief and getting the support I need to help my physical function properly.

I commit myself to when and as I go into beliefs about how people see things or think about things, I stop and breath, and find within the point through writing what is the common sense practical solution to what it is I am facing. Allowing for assistance and support when I realize something is not ok within my body, and stopping the beliefs when they arise from directing me. I commit to focus on fact and the physical and let go of beliefs and fears as these are illusions as they are of the mind, and are not supporting me to live to my fullest potential, so I commit to let go of the illusion as mind within thoughts, and focus and practice living from the physical until I am here.


For Further Support, Please check out Links:

Free Desteni I Process Lite Course for All Ages
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to LIfe
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Day 179 – Introduction to My Anxiety – Part 1.1 - Fear of Being Exposed




Here looking at the fear’s within points where I become anxious within myself, I see fears that come up when I am anxious are:
-fear of being exposed
-fear of being seen in a bad light
-fear of not making it, whether time, deadline, process
-fear of being a failure
-fear of others seeing me as a failure
-fear of dying
-fear of being seen as an outcast
-fear of suffering physical
-fear of not getting what I want

So I will walk through each of these fears to investigate the specifics of how and why they have been created within myself, and where within my past they are originating from, to walk the self forgiveness and self corrective process to give myself the opportunity to stop the fear in my living and live from reality, here, as I me breathing and living equal with all life.

#1) Fear of Being Exposed

Here I see that I have a fear of being exposed due to seeing throughout my life that when something was exposed and someone was caught, they were riduculed, judged, and outcasted from the group they were in and labeled as such. So within myself all the hidden secrets that I judged as bad, I feared becoming exposed and caught because of this fear of being outcasted and labeled as a fuck up within my group or the environment I was in. So this fear of being exposed, is a fear of being out casted within my family at the most prominent level in my early life and the environment I was in, and being labeled as someone who is different or odd. So having this idea in my head that people who are out casted and are labeled as different are to be avoided and any point I find within myself that I judge in this way as 'bad' or 'abnormal' is to not be exposed at any cost. So great anxiety was built up within me because of this fear of being exposed for these 'bad' or 'abnormal' things that happened in my life, and thus then being outcasted and being seen as different, which created more anxiety and fear of not being treated the same as the others and so I would have less of a chance of getting my desires met.

So a memory that happened when I was younger within this fear of exposure was when once and a while I would wet my bed, and then would walk up in a panic because of it. I would go very quickly to find clean clothes and change my sheets, hoping my mom or anyone, would not find out that I did this. Within me I was afraid that if my mom would find out then my whole family would find out, and then it would get to my friends, and then my classmates, and then I would be seen as different and not treated as I would normally be treated as all the others kids are treated. So I built up an anxiety of being seen by my peers as a person less then who I wanted them to see me as, which was a normal kid where I had potential to impress them and become one of the better one's among them. 

For a lot of years, I went through this nightly ritual of fear of being exposed and having to face my mom of wetting the bed, I didn’t want any point of difference that would make me seem weak by others, so I didn’t give anyone the chance to find anything ‘bad’ out about me, if I could help it, making me become very good at deception and manipulating others to only let people know so much about me not exposing the truth what's going on within me because of fear of being weak among the group, and thus lessening my chance of a 'good' life. So survival was the foundation of this fear, causing allot of anxiety and build up of stress in myself over time, as it was just accumulating and accumulating in my thoughts, in my memories, in energies as emotions, and in fear of being seen as someone who is not normal creating the idea in my mind that I am will be seen as weak, and thus less likely to get what I want in life, which created and fueled this fear for many years throughout my childhood.

More to come in next blog…stay tuned and thanks for reading.