Friday, August 10, 2012

Day 102 - Desire for the Goods and Want for More

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be satisfied with myself due to comparing myself to other children and seeing myself as not as good because I didn’t have the proper clothes and toys and thus based on the toys and cloths that I saw as desirable and cool and wasn’t able to get them, I judged myself as not worthy, which I resented my parents for as well as myself being born into a family that could not give me as a child everything I desired.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form a dissatisfaction towards my parents and myself due to this point of not being able to get everything I desired as a kid, and seeing my family as not worthy because I wasn’t able to get my desires met instantly like I saw the other kids getting.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a judgment and dissatisfaction towards my parents based on them not being able to give me all the goods I wanted, I realize that I was just being a rotten child In the sense of only looking at instant gratification which is produced by the mcdonalds reality stimulated by consumerism, where we learn to just get, get, get, get to be happy, quickly, keep moving, satisfied for a moment, but within this one is never actually fulfilled or satisfied because life is being missed as this feeling of more and more wants and needs keeps coming back.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to chase a feeling of satisfaction through external goods, and thus within this create a self dissatisfaction with myself because I didn’t see myself as good then and thus created a judgment that I am unworthy because I am not able to get all the goods that will make me satisfied not realizing that the dissatisfaction is not coming from a need of goods but coming from a point of dissatisfaction with myself, a point I am trying to fulfill with goods, but it’s a point of not liking myself being not satisfied with who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form a self hatred towards myself due to seeing myself as poor and rejecting myself and blaming who I am as this person in this family with not enough money to buy me everything I wanted, and thus I am unfulfilled and not worthy because I can’t get these goods that I desire.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form a self-hatred due to money value and what I can get, and thus allowed anger and desires to direct me into abuse towards others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed blame and anger towards my parents direct me into being an angry person because I couldn’t get what I desired and thus I resented all those who I thought had more then me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into resentment and jealousy towards other children who had more then me and thus this eventually grew into a jealousy towards all those who I saw as better then me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a polarity playout with others due to what one had in their external environment and thus created an inferior/superior playout with those in my world and reality.

I commit myself to let go these memories as a child of being unworthy due to not having money and thus realize that the inequality of the economic system is immense, and also, I had more then my fair share of goods, so thus I stop the impulse for more and become equal with all by giving as I would like to receive in all ways.

I commit myself to let go of this unworthiness within this need to gain more and more stuff as I realize life is not about the accumulation of stuff but creating a world where all can have stuff and all have a life that is worthy equal and abundant for all through establishing and implementing the equal money system where all life is supported for what is best for all.

I commit myself to stop blame and anger towards others based on what I am creating and thus living within myself as separation in dishonesties as wants, needs, and desires, thus I commit myself to stop the wants, needs, and desires for things in my world, and thus create my reality where all is fulfilled by giving all what I would want for myself thus all is given and we are fulfilled.

I commit myself to stop jealousy and resentment towards others for comparisons that I am judging myself and others from thus I commit to stop judging and comparing myself to others in all facets of my life as I realize that to judge and compare is implying that I lack thus I will always search and never be fulfilled, thus I realize and commit to walk the path of self fulfillment by walking into the physical as life and giving all what I would want for me and help walk the path to create a world best for all through equality in all ways given to each one alive.

I commit myself to stop the polarity playout of inferior/superiority in relation to comparison and thus stop the comparison game as it is a game with no end and no actual self realization as I am in search for myself never actually getting anywHERE so thus I stop the comparison and inferior/superior stance by practically walking the physical and stopping my desires, wants, and needs as I realize all is able to be given but I must create the system as myself first in equality and oneness with what is here to live this living system into the external, as I realize the internal reality create the external reality, thus I walk my process to self realization as the physical here through walking my process of self investigation, self writing, self forgiveness, self correction in writing and thus self correction in living, until I am here and all is one as self.

For Further Support, Please check out Links:

Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to LIfe
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki

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