A Lady's Journey to Life: 21 Day Self Forgiveness Challenge – Wanting Depth with my Partner

Day 2-

Within myself I have always been a deep person, looking for and finding the truth of myself and this existence, I have been fascinated by this quest, pushing it and pushing myself to more and more depths, I thrive on this I would say. This is more a personal journey with myself, though with others, I have been seeing that there has been a desire to have such depth, to push for the meanings, the understandings, the realizations, and more of who we are together, though not all people are like me. Some are yes, though many that I have met aren’t and within this I have been struggling to feel satisfied with others and so only seek out those who support with this depth that I thrive off of. This has been especially coming up lately with my partner because we see things quite differently, it’s almost as though we see things in opposite ways, he tends to be more practical, scientific, and mathematical, where I am again looking for self introspection and realizations that will spring humanity into a new era of evolution and prosperity through this evolution of ourselves back to life here.

And it’s not to even say this is how it is, but this is more how I am seeing it at the moment, so within this relationship I am desiring this depth though it hasn’t manifested as of yet. I have been seeing that I am going into a frustration because of the two different ways we interpret and look at reality, so what I realized with a help of a friend is that every single relationship that we are in is unique unto themselves, there is no two that are the same and within this one can explore and create and express oneself in the uniqueness that is each one that we meet and interact with. This could be human, animal, or anything for that matter. I thought that was a very cool way of looking at it and supports with being here, living more real time and within this creating and expressing oneself based on the uniqueness of the moment rather then in the mind in comparison, wants, and backchat.

So I will do some self forgiveness on the desire to have depth in relationships and redefine the word unique to live.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire a depth within relationships where I go into comparison of my relationship with myself and others, and create a negative or positive feeling based on the result of this comparison that effects the relationship within many aspects of the interaction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want the depth of a relationship that I feel with some, but not see, realize, and understand that it took time and patience to get to a point where the relationship could be lived in such a way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that within my life I need to have all my relationships have depth and introspection of life’s biggest questions to have a meaningful and substantial development with another, when I see, realize, and understand how limiting this is within my life and my relationships with others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow the energy of feeling good and excited when I meet someone who is deep and interesting and so go into a belief that ‘I like this person a lot’, when I see, realize, and understand that this is just based on a desire fulfilled and keeps me complacent in my life to not change and experience that which is outside my comfort zone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into an emotion of anger and resentment when I am with another who is more interested in other subjects or things to do that don’t hold my interest and want to retreat and retract myself from the situation as fast as possible so I can go back to my comfort zone which is discovering depth and truth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow emotions such as anger and resentment toward another for being them, and not see, realize, and understand that this is actually limiting and diminishing my capacity of growth and expansion outside my comfort zones to new topics and doings that I would have never had access to otherwise.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to like a person or not based on the feeling of excitement and goodness I go into when another peeks my interest of depth, as I see, realize, and understand that I am not directing myself within these relationships, but being moved by energy and dismissing beings equal to myself with equally something to share that is substantial and meaningful in whatever unique way is created.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to miss the uniqueness of each and every relationship I am in based on the very nature of life itself, it is always changing, ever expanding, and ever creating and within this one can expand and grow with and as life as one walks with others in their life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others based on this belief that I need depth and not see, realize, and understand everyone has meaning and everyone has a unique expression to share and learn from.

I commit myself to move into a uniqueness of each moment I am in, exploring the moment with another, expressing myself within depth and/or expression whenever it is here to express.

I commit myself to move myself into new opportunities and within my relationships to expand and grow in learning about others no matter who or how they live and seeing what we can walk together in what is best for all.

I commit myself to live unique which is walking without comparison with others and finding the individual expression that everyone I meet has to share and exploring and enjoying myself within these moments.