A Lady's Journey to Life: Assertive - Redefining this Word to Live

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Assertive - Redefining this Word to Live - Day 497

Assertive is not something I would describe myself as within how I operate in social settings, I am quite shy usually and it'll take a push for me to become more outgoing and assertive in my words and actions. Though, personally I am assertive within myself based on a relative understanding of being truthful and honoring this within myself, and what fruits this brings when it is applied in an honest application. I enjoyed in the past and still do the consequences this brings in my life and self understanding, and usually I regret if I do something that was not supporting a truthful outcome. So I always had a personal understanding of doing the ‘right’ thing or allowing this truth within me be a focus throughout my life. The part that I couldn’t quite align with is the social world where I became limited by past memories of being bullied and events that caused hardship on my mind. I did have many fun/enjoyable times, though what always seemed to stand out the most is the negative and bad times.

So the way I identify with this word is that I personally am assertive within myself in my path to living my truth, but in the external world I am imbalanced within this point as I suppress my expression a lot and feel insecure in front of people mostly. Though through walking the desteni i process and living words redefinition process I am becoming more and more strong in my stand of who I am and find more stability within myself to live this word assertive.

Defintion:
Assertive - 1560s, "declaratory, positive, full of assertion," from assert + -ive. Meaning "insisting on one's rights" is short for self-assertive(1865).

Assertive word play:
Assist – directive
Assert – directive

So within looking at the word definition and the word play, I see that there is an active assertion or declaration of self’s direction within the moment or within what self is living. So within this assertiveness is self movement in one’s self truth. Here I can see it as a point of moving from being laid back or not moving self to in the moment moving self to walk one’s truth where in a moment before I would hold myself back due to fear. So it’s in a way recognizing one’s self truth and expressing that through the layers of the mind as limitations that is pushing the resistence in self to remain quiet, remain limited, remain enslaved so I am controlled and can’t change myself. This action of moving through the mind into self expression is asserting oneself in the physical in the moment. I can walk this in moments where I see I want to hold back, I look within myself and see if I am clear and if I have something to share/express I assert myself to do so moving through any mind resistances and living/expressing my truth as who I am in that moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold myself back in self expression due to the fear of being judged/ridiculed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach expressing myself with ridicule and humiliation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold back in moments due to fear within my words being wrong or not agreeable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit my expression due to my mind saying no instead of moving into the physical and seeing what is real.

I commit myself to move through the mind layers of energy/fear and move into an assertive looking of myself in the moment to express if it is there.

I commit myself to assert myself if I am aligned with truth within myself and walking self honest and what is best.

I commit myself to stop fear with moving into assertiveness and correcting myself as I find I am not aligned with what is best and always stand.