Monday, December 28, 2015

Embracing Change - Day 488

In a very short time my life’s direction has the potential to change and is going to change quite drastically. At work, the person above me unfortunately passed away suddenly where I am as well as many others faced with filling the responsibility this being stood as. So it’s purely based on circumstances and initial positions that each one was in before this event happened, and now as I speak personally, I have to become more effective, more disciplined, more skillful, and embrace this change to operate in the best of my ability. I don’t necessarily want this position I am in though I am grateful as this will challenge me in ways that I haven’t yet had the opportunity to face.

I have in the past faced this point in a smaller scale so I realize I do have the capability to do it, what is different now is that I am more responsible and essentially standing in a leadershipisque role, which brings up fears and anxieties within me. I see these fears activate right as I open my eyes in the morning, a deep experience of dread washes over me and it seems like the world is going to shit and that I am heading for doom as I move into the unknown. So I have been practice waking up in self forgiveness and moving myself through that experience because I see that it’s not real and that it doesn’t in fact determine what and how my day will go, I determine that. I realize if I stay in that energy and allow it to fester by participating in it, it does over take me and possess me, so being self aware in those first moments as I wake up is important to move into a productive day as I direct it rather then a destructive day in energy and thoughts that are compromising.

I am feeling this dread point come up more and more and also within this I am seeing this experience of ego coming up, so there is a seesaw happening where I am moving from absolute fear and dread to wanting to be better then others and be noticed by others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a point of self victimization based on this feeling of dread and fear come up within me when I participate in thoughts such as ‘I am going to die’ or ‘I am going to miss my opportunity to become life’ or ‘I am going to fail at my mission with my business’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the fear energy where I participate in it as it moves from my stomach area up into my chest, filling it up into my head, and then allow the thoughts to overwhelm me where I move away form people and isolate myself as insecure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have this experience of overwhelming dread come over me as I accept and allow myself to participate in the thoughts of dread and fear and death and not move into my physical breath here and move into physical action so I can stand through this energy and move myself with physical deliberateness and live my change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a fear that I will not make it in my business or I will die before I get a chance to do what I want to do here and not see, realize, and understand that I am committed to walking my process and have shown steadfastness within this venture.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to isolate myself as I accept and allow these thoughts to come over me that I am going to experience dread instead of moving into a point of physical movement, self change, and living words that will support me to live action that will be best with life instead of restricting myself and going into the energy possession of fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compensate with this insecurity feeling to become more pushy and aggressive where I am showing my strength as ego and becoming more rude within my behavior so I can show I am strong and in charge when in reality I am isolating myself form the solution and harming others through my words and behavior through and as aggression energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become insecure within myself and so feel like I have to compensate by being superior on the external reality.

I commit myself to in the mornings take a breath, do self forgiveness on the points that are here, and move through it by living the word excitement as a moving with more physical energy and smiling as I move.

I commit myself to say ‘I am going to have a productive day where I check off the tasks on my list with joy’.

I commit myself to live the word joy by being spontaneous with others throughout my day and communicating this with words of support and encouragement to live what’s best for all.

I commit myself to let go of the ego by humbling myself to others and see myself in them as I am them and source what I can learn from them so I can grow and share with them so they can equally benefit.

I commit myself to live the word growth as I learn from others and ask questions to investigate the points at work I will need to understand with a passion and vigor to do the best I can do.

Check Out these Awesome supportive sites:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Others Walking This Process
Destonian Social Network
Self and Living Store
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site

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