Sunday, June 10, 2012

Day 54- Suppressing Myself based on Self Judgment


I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to suppress my self expression based on seeing myself as less then the others around me. I realize and see within who I am and who I am with, we are equal in physical reality, we are one within and as life, and that I am only creating this feeling of less then within my mind due to the fact that I am comparing myself so thus I realize I must stop comparing myself and stop judging my self within all aspects of who I am as expression for myself to live in freedom to just be me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to suppress myself based on the fact that I desire to be seen within a specific way based on not seeing myself within who I am because I don’t like myself and who I am. I realize and see that within this desire to be seen within a specific way I will always be in a point of compromise because I will always compromise myself to this idea to be a likable by others and thus suppress myself when I see that this idea will not be lived up to, so thus I stop the self compromising myself by stopping the living into ideas that I have to be liked by others, but realizing that the true self is here within and as myself and my acceptance of myself in all it's facets and dimensions and correcting this to life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to suppress myself with others to an idea that I need to be more then just being me here because I don’t like myself and I see myself not equal to others so thus I try and create this equality with others based on the way I manipulate the situation to favor all points I see as good about me such as using my body, word placement, cloths, or hair, to thus have others become more attracted to me because otherwise I don’t see myself as attractive to anyone. I realize and see within living within this point of self compromise where I try and become a specific being for specific people I will always walk into suppression and be depressed as I am not allowing myself to express in freedom thus living within and as separation to suit my mind and not live as physical thus separating me and causing me to diminish myself for the acceptance of others. I realize I have to accept myself to stop this suppression and live equal. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to hold an onto an idea of myself that I need to impress others and manipulate situations for others to like me because I see myself as ugly and that I have to become perfect by creating this or I will not be able to enjoy life and be in the lerch so to speak with no one because I don’t see another way to be with others if I am not able to win them over with a point of self acting to have them see me as cool/beautiful/perfect. I realize and see that within this desire to have others like me and see myself as ugly and not worthy I will never be able to be settled and stable within myself because I am living within a polarity play out of negative/positive and never seeing myself within in it, but only to impress the outside world while my inner world suffer. So I see and realize that I have to walk self acceptance and stop these ideas and beliefs that I have to do something or be something for acceptance from others, but be me live how I would want to be treated with others, and accept myself so thus I can accept myself as others. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to compromise myself to others because I desire a certain outcome, a certain picture and thus I am not able to ever live here because the picture I desire to be doesn’t exist, I am trying to exist for a idea that is impossible and thus I realize and see that this idea of perfection of trying to be a certain outcome as perfect will not be possible because I am not perfect within an idea through illusion as the mind, this self perfection can only be through my living into and as equality as life within this physical as what is real.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from others because I fear people, this fear is based on me holding onto the fear that I will be humiliated in front of others and not be able to hold my own if challenged. I realize and see that this fear is based on the point of seeing myself as weak and others better and thus I must stop this polarity play out of seeing me as weak and others as more to be able to walk the point into correction as standing here stable with all. I realize when in fear my expression is stifled and diminished as I am tense and not in reality but in my mind thus I use  my breath as physical support to get myself back here in equality and oneness with the others as the physical.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within and as fear and allow it to direct me when I realize and see that I am able to direct myself in the physical in common sense with others in practical points so I must walk this by stopping the self judgment of myself, stopping desire to be perfect, and stoppin the fear when I don't live up to this. I realize I must live here with others as myself, stopping going into the mind in fear.

I commit to accept myself here with others as myself and express in the moment openly and freely to thus build self confidence.

I commit to walk and breath into self perfection in living as me in each moment to thus have the ability to walk points for self and be self sufficient and stop my dependence on others.

I commit to stop my self judgment adn self compromise by living in practical reality with others as my equal and walk solutions for what is best for all.




fear, self suppression, why di i suppress myself, self diminishment, compromising me, equality, equal money, equal life, 2012, journey to life desteni

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