My Journey to Life: ignorance

Showing posts with label ignorance. Show all posts

Thursday, February 25, 2016

Living In Ignorance, Is There a Gift? Day 499

To continue with my last blog, I wrote on the point of how through ignorance of my actions I fell on a commitment I had made and lived for quite some time, and within this ignorance, I am seeing through support of others and my own self introspection I am making this fall more then what it really is. I have attached emotions and thinking to this fall to blow it out of proportion and as well accumulate it with energy, which will further extend until I release it through some abusive way. Because when I am not directing myself in my mind as the thoughts and emotions that come, I require to move through it simply by breathing and remaining physical and practical with what is here in my current life circumstance.

What I do know and have proven to myself is that I am able to learn and grow from my falls and push myself to do better next time it comes up. To beat myself up over it actually takes more energy and exhausts me more.

So I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become ignorant based on what and how I am doing what and how I am doing in my world without consideration of others and myself in what I have committed in word and so did not live.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a point of self abuse based on what I do in a moment not seeing, realizing, and understanding that within a fall there is a key or gift I can take with me and learn from always so I can be more equipped and skilled to take the point on the next go around and stand my ground and live my words.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into an ignorance about what I am doing where I will go into a blankness and a postitive energy veil where I believe that I am ok and doing fine while I am deliberately going against my word due to the desires that I have built up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to build up desires, wants, and needs about a particular action in reality believing I need it more then anything and that I will not be able to get it anywhere else but within this experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can only get a specific experience of freedom and fun and physical enjoyment through this particular substance and so believe that I am really enjoying myself when in fact it is just a mind simulation of these words.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live freedom, fun, and enjoyment through a substance because I fear that I will never be able to get this myself due to beliefs that I am not good enough and not capable enough to live these words for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can’t live these words fun, freedom, and physical enjoyment due to the belief that I am not good enough and not patient enough to live this in my day to day living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become frustrated with myself because I have not been able to live the word patiences when in reality I have not lived nearly the 10000 hours it takes to master a specific skill one sets out to accomplish.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stop trying and pushing myself due to a belief that I am not patient enough and I will never be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I will never be patient enough when in reality it is a matter of breath awareness and perseverance to see a task through and self direction to do what is best in each moment which I have proven to myself I can do.

I commit myself to let go of the act of ignorance within what I do and align myself life and living to living my words and standing with integrity in what is best for all.

I commit myself to redefine the words fun, freedom, physical enjoyment, patience’s and perseverance to stand in these words and direct myself in my world to live them.

I commit myself to stop beliefs within emotional thought patterns of fear and self abuse and transform it into the living of the word acceptance, self achievement, and reality based living through breath.

I commit myself to walk the 10000 hours to master living words process in what I speak and live and so live my highest potential in this life.

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Saturday, February 14, 2015

Some Words on Valentine’s Day – Day 448

Valentines Day, a day to celebrate love in our life, for me I would like to have love everyday so I have reacted to this day in judgment based on blaming it and those that participate within it as not realizing that there is more to love then a holiday. And so within my mind I get angry at the fact that I can’t have this love everyday. I can't have this love because for this to take place people will have to see that a day to celebrate out of the year is not how love is meant to be lived. This anger I feel is a blame for others not seeing that this is the case and how they are just being ignorant to the fact that we can be different, we can live love, we can be love, but as I am starting to realize more and more through walking my process to life is that I have to create the love as myself for myself to in fact actually make it real. It is my responsibility because as I have said many times in the past that ‘if I can’t walk it, how can I ask another to?’ And the answer is I can not and love made real by living it will not actually exist for me because I am not creating it for myself.

So this day brought out the fact that life is not limited to the designated holidays we have assigned a few times a year were we have a day of ‘fun’, but we can within ourselves be in a state of stability which creates comfort for self and so expand it out from within us to create it in our world. So I realize, see, and understand that I have to create the love and live love and exist as loving my neighbor as myself, actually live this love if I want to see it come alive.

This is where I am currently at within my process, taking my desires and wants and actually creating them for myself by redefing what love means and living this by creating it in my life. So here with this holiday as the love holiday, I will walk self forgiveness and self commitments to clear any reactions I have to this day and find solutions that will support to walk a creation process to live love in my world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see that within the action of judging a person or an event in this world, I am only fueling and continuing the actual existence of the mind pattern or event that I see is not supporting what is best within this world because I myself am doing the exact same as what the other is doing seperating myself from what is really going on here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate who I am with others and believe I have the right to judge people and point fingers because I have walked this process for sometime and I know better, when in fact it is not about knowing better or thinking a specific way about myself, but who I am within what I live everyday in every breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have a right to judge other people because I have understood something about what is going on in this world like the manipulation within consumerism as holidays and have a belief that others are just being ignorant, when in reality there is many factors to why what is here is happening and that by judging and creating beliefs about what is here is separating myself from what is here and making it so I can’t see and come to common ground with others because I am in reaction which is resistance toward this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge valentines day and holidays in general as a scam and that they are pointless to participate in.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get angry at others for participating in holidays as I judge them as just following the system and willingly being enslaved by the elite who benefit off what is created as holidays.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a anger towards the elite of this world for creating it in the way of parasite and host and be in fear that it’ll never change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the elite for this experience of fearing the world not changing witin myself onto the elite of this world, when I see, realize, and understand that I am really in fear of myself not changing to live in all moments in self honesty and what is best.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see that I don’t need to change for this world to change that it should just change because I see that it’s necessary and others are being lazy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others as lazy when it’s really myself who is being lazy by not pushing myself beyond my limits and ensuring I create my life rather then sit and blame others for not changing theirs.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to take responsibility for what is here as my mind and my emotions and my reactions and blame other people and society for me not changing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use blame as an escape for myself not pushing myself and changing my life into a self creation of what is best and living as an example for what is best as I actually live it and not just speak about it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the world system and the elite for what is here as this life on earth currently, when I see, realize, and understand that it is in fact who I am within each moment that really exist and that I can not blame anyone for anything because that would mean I am not taking responsibility and actually living the words I speak and instead just speaking into and as death as I am not creating but diminishing.

When and as I see I am going into a point of wanting to blame the holidays, elite, or this world system for how this life and earth is existing here on this planet, I stop and breath, and realize that this is not a solution and that these groups or events are equal and one to me and are starting within the same starting point I am as pointing fingers but not living my talk.

I commit myself to let go of any judgment and/or blame towards any being outside myself and so I commit to walk the process of living what I speak by speaking what it is I am going to create and so creating it.

I commit myself to walk the process of creation by standing within my words and taking responsibility for my thoughts and reactions and walking the process of stopping them and changing them to stand as a support for life.

I commit myself to walk my talk and stand as life one and equal with what is here as self as life.

So love is redefined into an actual walking my talk were I show love to another by giving to them what I have given to myself and seen that it is of the benefit for self and so for all other life. Love is living my words and then being able to walk with others within what I am saying as I will be able to show them self honestly and so share who I am within this stand as life in what is best. And so holiday as well will be here to walk, continue to correct any reactions, and walk the process of changing what is here to what is best for all from within myself and so to the without.

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Day 98- Judgment is Stupid

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use judgment as a form of self sabotage because I don’t like myself and am not happy with the way I am within my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my physical human body into a point of separation and division that I have created based on the fact that I want more, I want to be better, and thus I want my desires of being perfect to manifest for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be perfect within my physical body as an idea when I am being ignorant to the fact that my human physical body supports and assists me unconditionally each time I take a breath and thus never once complained, fucked around, or did anything to the detriment of me as life as it is standing as the principle of who it is as life, and thus I realize and see that I am creating these ideas within my mind that I need to be better and be more because I have accepted and allowed my self to compare to others physical and thus am the creator of my own ailments and diseases as I am not living in ‘ease’ with the physical as I am in conflict with it as others as judgment and comparison.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my physical body as not good enough in comparison with other bodies that I see are more skinny and fit and thus have prettier features, and within this go into displeasure of my physical body because I am not seeing myself as equal to the others as I am only looking at pictures and thus within this fucking myself because I realize and see that I am not just pictures but all life that exist, and I am the one who is creating the separation as I am the one judging.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be within ignorance towards my physical body based on the fact that I am desiring more, not taking into consideration what my body doing within keeping me alive, and I just push it and judge it because I accept and allow these desires to be more then life itself, which is the epitome of stupidity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my physical body as not good enough and that I need to be more based on the fact that I want to be more then others physical and within this create unnecessary competition within myself because what is being created within me is separation, due to me not being a person who accepts who I am and is grateful for the life that I am given through my human physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use ignorance as a form of self interest so I can feed my desires and accept myself to be judgmental of others so I can eventually feel good about myself because there will be a point where I am ‘more’ then another and thus only live for this feeling of being more. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use desires and judgments for my own self interest because I am desiring even for a brief moment to be more then others through comparison and thus here feeding the addiction to be more as a perfect polarity play out to feed my ego, which is feeding my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use my own self interest as desiring to get good feelings through winning, when in comparison with another and thus can get the little high that is created when this is reached.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself here from life as the physical in ignorance of the millions upon millions of unconditional acts alone that the physical human body walks through each day in full awareness in directive principle to keep me alive where in I have the opportunity to birth myself as life as the physical human body one and equal. I realize that this opportunity will only come once in life and thus to accept and allow myself to go into judgment towards another or any point of life for that matter is stupid in the sense that I am ruining my opportunity to be life and for what, a feeling, a moment of energy surge, a picture, a desire? I realize that to judge life is a stupid act as it is squandering the opportunity I have of life and for all life to live here in this physical within our physical bodies as our physical bodies in harmony and equality so that we can create a world here that is best for all.

I commit myself to stop the judgment of myself and accept who I am as one and equal with life giving myself the opportunity to realize that its not about judging what I am doing as a personal ‘attack’ but to realize that it is a point that needs correction and thus walk the correction to what ever has formed the living that is not in equilibrium with equality and oneness with the environment I am in and simply walk the correction in common sense and awareness of all life as myself.

I commit myself to stop the judgments of my human physical body as I realize that all bodies are physical life and thus this is who I am as life, we are all one and thus there are multi-dimensions at work and nothing can be judged on face value, but should always be looked at in it’s totality and from that point of full responsibility, the point can be corrected within self trust of considering all involved equal to oneself, which I see and realize is the natural flow of correction as life.

I commit myself to stop the idea in my mind to be perfect and thus live self perfection within who I am as a being equal and one with the life around me to create an environment that support all, and thus eventually will support all the world, as the example of self perfection for all who walk this will be a beacon for those who can hear and see to thus learn from and walk as well, so I commit to stop this idea of self perfection and walk livingself perfection not only for me, but for all life.

I commit myself to stop this point of comparison and thus then going into the polarity of pleasure/displeasure with others around me as I realize this is absolute deliberate separation and causing the inner conflict within myself as I am responsible for who I am within and without, thus I commit to make the decision each and every thought, feeling/emotion, or reaction that come up to stop this point of separation and walk the correction as self in self honesty in physical application to support what is best for all.

I commit myself to stop the point of ignorance where I am holding onto the ‘hope’ that I can be better as I realize hope is not real nor this idea of being better is real, thus I stop the ignorance of my beingness and walk in equality with others and thus also with myself in acceptance and appreciation for the life I am able to live and gain the opportunity to really be real and give freedom to self as all life as we walk thus process to self correction.

I commit myself to stop defining life by pictures and thus walk within and as real reality here as the physical in the self realization that I am one and equal with all here and that all life is to be honored and respected as such, as equals.

I commit myself to walk the process of self correction through daily self investigating every judgment I hold of another or reaction that come up, and walk self honesty within self forgiveness, and self corrective writing, so thus I can be who I am here as physical for real as I have walked the walk from my mind reality as judgments to the self real-i-zation of me as the physical here as breath and I move when I decide.