My Journey to Life: drugs

Showing posts with label drugs. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 26, 2023

Day 6 - drugs

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that drugs are a solution in any way of the self honest person (based on one’s self honesty) and use drugs to hide the actual desire and rancidness that exist as me to fuck around and not live the point of self support necessary to stop the addiction to energy as high, and make a place and reality that supports all life through the principles of equality and what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust my mind where I believe it is helping me and transforming my body internally to a way where I am helping this process to become more aligned and best.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am in control and directing myself when on drugs, when I could clearly see that I was running chaotically and addicted to the experience I was getting from it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to do drugs and weed when I understood it was a tool for the mind programs and to enhance the minds ability to possess me in my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire drugs to fill a void within that I am doing something of value for life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to delude myself in to believing that I am doing something of worth on drugs instead of stopping and realizing I am harming my physical body and the abusive outflows such as outburst that occur when I am off them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to direct myself within chats and principled living talk while in my secret mind on drugs and using drugs to help me to be better and more then.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compete with my peers in group and believe that drugs are helping me with an edge to get over on the other.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as unworthy and use drugs as a way to fill the void and experience myself as able to compete with my reality.

I commit myself to stop any and all drugs where I am behind the scenes competing and in delusional states of chaos.

I commit myself to stop weed forevermore.

I commit myself to educate others on the brutal nature that comes out through drug use and that the purpose of life is not to get high but bring about a world that is best for all life as best for oneself.

I commit myself to educate others on the consequences I face where my life is forever damaged from this and will have to face and live with consequences that I didn’t see or expect, but are here and not best for all life.

Desteni.org

Wednesday, March 20, 2019

Self Forgiveness (Day 4): The Elixir of the Mind/Separation - Day 582

Art By: Andrew Gable

Find his Blog here: https://anartistsjourneytolife.wordpress.com

Here I am looking at the desires that come up within me during my day, there is always something looming within, like a thirst that can not be quenched, a movement that I am reaching for, but is just out of my reach, a churning in the pit of my stomach for a taste of this sweet sweet nectar of getting my desires fulfilled, and if it does not, I go into a state of conflict.

There is a fine line between expressing within words and living words that are here within specific indulgences I have for a long time had an addiction in, the words I live must be specific so I give myself the solid foundation I will need to be able to walk the path of self-honesty, and transcendence to be able to indeed direct myself and not have the mind as thoughts, feelings, and emotions direct me. I have walked this path many times from addiction to self-direction, though it always seems to continue to challenge me, going deeper into the addiction patterns, investigating who I am within it and how I will walk in honor of who I am as life and all life here. And man when the mind as self as the addiction of desire wants something, it almost becomes too overwhelming where one just completely go into it and give in and indulge.

Self Forgiveness on Indulgence and giving into desire:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire to give in to my indulgences in such a way where i do it in a possession of believing that if i don't fulfill this desire i will collapse and become miserable and irritable, and so i must just get it because this is my savior.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that within what i do and who i am that i must be getting access to the things i want and cause me to pain if i don't have them such as the pain of desiring something and not getting it, and through this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that without the thing that i desire and cause suffering in the moment, if i don't get it i will be lost and suffer much.

i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe without fulfilling the desire that i am wanting that i will die and not be able to go on in my life.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that without giving myself pleasure within fulfilling the desire within me as the mind's quest for release within the energy that accumulates once the desire is fulfilled to make my god and so follow it as my savior in this life instead of seeing, realizing, and understanding i am doing harm to myself and my body as i am not in full consideration of all, but only seeking the high of the desire fulfilled which is the drug of the mind that i feed.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that without the fulfillment of the desire that i won't have a good life and it will be filled with missed experiences.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in desires themselves and so become only interested in fulfilling my desire and thus becoming ignorant to my self responsibility to all life to do what is best as i would like for me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become selfish within my pursuits of my life in search of what is best for me, what makes me feel good, what gives me pleasure, while all the while ignoring how and who i am effecting within what i am doing in each moment i am here.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go into thoughts and emotions and feelings when the desire constructs come up instead of moving into breath and living who i am as principles in what is best for all.

I commit myself to walk the path of breath, letting go of all desires and urges for self fulfillment in self interest through breathing and grounding myself as the energy with the earth in realizing that i exist within all and thus i am able to direct myself in what is best at all times.

I commit myself to consider my body equal and one within what i decide to live and express in and see where my body stands within what i do and why i do it, getting to know the body as me and waking up to the path that considers both self and the body and doing what is best for all.

I commit myself to release my desire flow of energy release through breath and in the moment direct myself to consider and so live what is best for all here, day by day, breath by breath.

Thanks for reading.

Support and educate yourself on the links shared to live your best self:

http://www.eqafe.com - Check out the new unlimited subscription plan at Eqafe, it's fantastic!
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com
www.destonians.com
http://www.desteni.org
http://www.earthhaven.org

Sunday, October 8, 2017

Enough is Enough - Stopping an Addiction - Day 560

There is a specific power that comes with making a decision for self and living that decision into a proven fact in reality, and this specific power is self empowerment. What is self empowerment? To me, I have found this empowerment is the ability to move myself in my reality within self awareness in a direction that I create. So much of our days move with stimulus being pushed in our face, consumerism products, ways to escape life’s challenges, mind altering substances, the list goes on, though through it all and in the end there is a choice and a decision that one makes to either live out the controlled reaction of consumption or direct oneself to decide on if that consumption is something you in fact want to live out or not. So the power of self moves from this force to consume based on like a compulsion within self or an internal decision to move and decide for oneself in self awareness and direct action in reality.

The phrase enough is enough is supportive for the act of stopping an addiction one has, though one has to get to this point and in many cases it does not even have to get to the point where one realizes ‘ok, enough is enough?’, but in most cases I have found at least in the beginning of stopping addictive patterns and habits, this self realization is in fact supportive to stop. For me, hitting rock bottom so to speak was a terrible experience, it was not comfortable and it was not easy, though what i realized about myself in that moment is that I have to get up and I have to stop, I can not continue on this way or my life is going to go to shit and be a waste. I had to do this for myself, my life, and my functioning in my reality in a way that is best for me and continues to support my enviroment the best i am able to. In short, i realized instead of continuing to destroy myself how about I actually support myself and the potential i have seen many times and creates this infectious passion that drives me to grow and expand. This is what I want my life to be about self expansion, self growth, and not only supporting myself, but supporting as many as possible to realize and reach their highest potentials as well.

Stopping an addiction is not going to be done with just a phrase though, yes it supports with self realization, but to stop an addiction one has to decide and then apply that decision every day until the addiction is transcended. And you will be challenged throughout with temptations, with new dimensions opening up, with physical stimulus and desires being triggered, but within oneself there is a power that resides and this power is the power to decide, live, and thus prove to oneself that I can in fact stop and change. Once this is realized, this creates a confidence and a self authority that no one can take away from oneself and will only support who one is in the life that will be lived. Though in the meantime as one walks the process of stopping the addiction, these questions supported me, questions such as understanding why I am stopping my addiction? What is the purpose? Am I doing this for me? What will I do if I fall? Also, answering questions such as why am I so addicted to this point? What comfort is it giving me? What am I trying to escape from? What is my capacity? Who am I? What can I rather do or create that’ll support me? What is my strengths?

I work with the desteni I process as well which is a process of supporting oneself through one’s mind and behaviors with self forgiveness and self corrective change in writing and living. This process and self forgiveness specifically works with the inner workings of self that is happening and that is in fact driving our behaviors in many ways to do what we do, and thus to understand why and also find solutions for it. This platform is laid out in a structured way and definitely supported me to stop and transcend many addictions such as alcohol, weed (heavy user), masturbation, self sabotage patterns, and I am continuing.

There is also the 21 day support process where I have stopped an addiction for 21 days, if I fell and I went into the addiction again I would start the 21 days over until I was complete with stopping for 21 days. For heavy addictions, I would walk this in phases, so 21 days, then 1 month, then 3 months, then 6 months, then a year until I no longer have any desires. Again the desire does come up once and a while, but not as strong and potent. All the while through that process, working with my mind and thoughts to why I kept on with the addiction, working with fears, working with insecurities, working with self judgments, and writing out self forgiveness and self correction solutions to then in real life living be equipped and prepared to live out the correction as solution that I wrote out for myself. It is also helpful to speak self forgiveness when the moment comes up to to support with real time moments of change needed or to release built up emotions. There is much more on these points in the sites below so please follow the links for more or can ask me questions in the comment section if need be, I would be happy to support.

For more support on self and life, please check out the links:

[Eqafe - Every Question Answered For Everyone :) ] (http://www.eqafe.com)

[Desteni I Process - Self Development Support] (http://www.lite.desteniiprocess.com)

Soul - School of Ultimate Living - Living Words Process and Support:
https://www.facebook.com/schoolofultimateliving/

Earth Haven - Sustainable Living Environments -
Built on the Principles of What is best for all Life
https://www.patreon.com/earthhaven

Forum support:
www.forum.desteni.org

Desteni Wiki:
wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page

Eqafe Facebook Page:
www.facebook.com/Eqafe-359136...

7 year journey to life Facebook group:
www.facebook.com/groups/journ...

Saturday, November 26, 2016

How I Stop Addictions with the Desteni I Process - Day 535

Here I discuss how I have been assisted and lived the tools of the desteni I process for myself where I stopped a number of addictions in my life. Have a listen and give yourself this gift of support for yourself to so we can all direct ourselves to our highest potentials. This to support a world that is best for all and stand as a steward of the earth for all who are here and yet to come. For more information on the tools and understanding more how to apply them, check out the links.

Desteni-I-Process Lite Beginner course -
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com

Soul - School of Ultimate Living - Create yourself through Words!
www.schoolofultimateliving.com/

Self Supportive Material -
www.Eqafe.com

Forum support:
www.forum.desteni.org

Desteni Wiki:
wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page

Eqafe Facebook Page:
www.facebook.com/Eqafe-359136...

7 year journey to life Facebook group:
www.facebook.com/groups/journ...

DIP Lite on Facebook:
www.facebook.com/DIPLite

Thursday, February 25, 2016

Living In Ignorance, Is There a Gift? Day 499

Photo Source

To continue with my last blog, I wrote on the point of how through ignorance of my actions I fell on a commitment I had made and lived for quite some time, and within this ignorance, I am seeing through support of others and my own self introspection I am making this fall more then what it really is. I have attached emotions and thinking to this fall to blow it out of proportion and as well accumulate it with energy, which will further extend until I release it through some abusive way. Because when I am not directing myself in my mind as the thoughts and emotions that come, I require to move through it simply by breathing and remaining physical and practical with what is here in my current life circumstance.

What I do know and have proven to myself is that I am able to learn and grow from my falls and push myself to do better next time it comes up. To beat myself up over it actually takes more energy and exhausts me more.

So I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become ignorant based on what and how I am doing what and how I am doing in my world without consideration of others and myself in what I have committed in word and so did not live.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a point of self abuse based on what I do in a moment not seeing, realizing, and understanding that within a fall there is a key or gift I can take with me and learn from always so I can be more equipped and skilled to take the point on the next go around and stand my ground and live my words.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into an ignorance about what I am doing where I will go into a blankness and a postitive energy veil where I believe that I am ok and doing fine while I am deliberately going against my word due to the desires that I have built up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to build up desires, wants, and needs about a particular action in reality believing I need it more then anything and that I will not be able to get it anywhere else but within this experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can only get a specific experience of freedom and fun and physical enjoyment through this particular substance and so believe that I am really enjoying myself when in fact it is just a mind simulation of these words.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live freedom, fun, and enjoyment through a substance because I fear that I will never be able to get this myself due to beliefs that I am not good enough and not capable enough to live these words for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can’t live these words fun, freedom, and physical enjoyment due to the belief that I am not good enough and not patient enough to live this in my day to day living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become frustrated with myself because I have not been able to live the word patiences when in reality I have not lived nearly the 10000 hours it takes to master a specific skill one sets out to accomplish.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stop trying and pushing myself due to a belief that I am not patient enough and I will never be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I will never be patient enough when in reality it is a matter of breath awareness and perseverance to see a task through and self direction to do what is best in each moment which I have proven to myself I can do.

I commit myself to let go of the act of ignorance within what I do and align myself life and living to living my words and standing with integrity in what is best for all.

I commit myself to redefine the words fun, freedom, physical enjoyment, patience’s and perseverance to stand in these words and direct myself in my world to live them.

I commit myself to stop beliefs within emotional thought patterns of fear and self abuse and transform it into the living of the word acceptance, self achievement, and reality based living through breath.

I commit myself to walk the 10000 hours to master living words process in what I speak and live and so live my highest potential in this life.

Check out more support at:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Others Walking This Process
Destonian Social Network
Self and Living Store
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

'Testing Things' to Hide from Myself - Day 346

Please reference these blogs for more perspective on this point:

"Mind Give Me Joy" - Day 344

Seeing life as Boring - Day 345

This point is on the desire to actually continue the addiction I had been walking to the high from drugs through an idea I created and statement I made to myself that 'I am testing myself on the drug to see how I am and if I am able to not be moved', even after I had stopped this point and been walking process for some time. But really I was deceptively hiding the fact that I still did not want to stop the addiction, and so hid behind the excuse of I am testing myself when that is really not relevant of the process I am walking to become life equal and one here in the physical because as I realized it's not about who I am on drugs, but who I am breath by breath, so testing myself is irrelevant as it has nothing to do with the physical, but everything to do with the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse of testing myself within doing a drug to veil the fact that I desire to actually still do the drug and continue to be in this addiction as it gives me instant gratification.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within desires, wants, and needs, within a belief in my mind that i am not happy unless i have something to do or exist from outside myself.

I forgive myself that I have not yet accepted and allowed myself to realize that i see, realize, and need nothing outside myself to be here and exist.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to believe that through testing a drug I am becoming more transcended within it, when really what i am doing is existing within self compromise as i am really just prolonging the point of simply stopping participation in it through stopping the addiction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be moved by self interest in the desire to get something from what i am doing instead of standing here within an equal support of give and receive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live from the desire and belief that i can have instant satisfaction through drugs and live into this desire by hiding and excusing my behavior through justifications that i am walking self honestly when in reality I am just feeding my desire to have life be instant and satisfying through giving into energy possession as addiction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i am not going to have any consequence for just allowing this point to continue overtime, when i realize that my physical is being effected through a pain within the knee as continuing to exist in self interest as ego - knee=ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not care about the effects that my actions as living only in consideration of energy through the mind as desires instead of considering the reality of life, my physical, my self honesty, and my self trust within who i am and being able to stand by that to be trustworthy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide behind the words 'testing myself' as an excuse to do drugs and get high feelings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse that I can do it one more time and it's fine, when i continue to use this excuse and not be able to be trusted within it as my actions are showing that I am addicted.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not live my words and thus diminish my effectiveness in the physical to be able to truly trust myself.

I forgive myself that I have not yet stood by my word to stop my desire/needs for drugs through standing within each and every movement to do it and not give into the energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself lie to myself in saying it's ok one more time, I am just testing myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use the process of becoming life to get high and hide behind the dishonesty of my actions as it's really due to self interest.

When and as I see myself going into the excuse of I am testing myself or I can do this one more time, I stop and breath, and I realize that this is not honest, I am using this excuse to get a fulfillment as I am in desire and need as energy within the mind through thoughts as debates to do it or not. I realize if I am being moved within the mind as energy and within my physical, I am not standing and thus I can not trust my words nor actions.

I commit myself to stop these thoughts of 'I am testing myself' in a self compromising action.

I commit myself to stop these thoughts of 'I am only doing it this one time' through not participating in them and letting them go.

I commit to write out the points that come up that I see I still have any energy movements within them and clear them.

I commit myself to breath and push my living breath by breath in living my words, being effective, and pushing myself beyond my boundaries until I am here and standing through my own self direction in self honesty absolutely.