My Journey to Life: #changetheworld

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Wednesday, September 25, 2013

'Testing Things' to Hide from Myself - Day 346

Please reference these blogs for more perspective on this point:

This point is on the desire to actually continue the addiction I had been walking to the high from drugs through an idea I created and statement I made to myself that 'I am testing myself on the drug to see how I am and if I am able to not be moved', even after I had stopped this point and been walking process for some time. But really I was deceptively hiding the fact that I still did not want to stop the addiction, and so hid behind the excuse of I am testing myself when that is really not relevant of the process I am walking to become life equal and one here in the physical because as I realized it's not about who I am on drugs, but who I am breath by breath, so testing myself is irrelevant as it has nothing to do with the physical, but everything to do with the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse of testing myself within doing a drug to veil the fact that I desire to actually still do the drug and continue to be in this addiction as it gives me instant gratification.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within desires, wants, and needs, within a belief in my mind that i am not happy unless i have something to do or exist from outside myself.

I forgive myself that I have not yet accepted and allowed myself to realize that i see, realize, and need nothing outside myself to be here and exist.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to believe that through testing a drug I am becoming more transcended within it, when really what i am doing is existing within self compromise as i am really just prolonging the point of simply stopping participation in it through stopping the addiction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be moved by self interest in the desire to get something from what i am doing instead of standing here within an equal support of give and receive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live from the desire and belief that i can have instant satisfaction through drugs and live into this desire by hiding and excusing my behavior through justifications that i am walking self honestly when in reality I am just feeding my desire to have life be instant and satisfying through giving into energy possession as addiction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i am not going to have any consequence for just allowing this point to continue overtime, when i realize that my physical is being effected through a pain within the knee as continuing to exist in self interest as ego - knee=ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not care about the effects that my actions as living only in consideration of energy through the mind as desires instead of considering the reality of life, my physical, my self honesty, and my self trust within who i am and being able to stand by that to be trustworthy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide behind the words 'testing myself' as an excuse to do drugs and get high feelings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse that I can do it one more time and it's fine, when i continue to use this excuse and not be able to be trusted within it as my actions are showing that I am addicted.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not live my words and thus diminish my effectiveness in the physical to be able to truly trust myself.

I forgive myself that I have not yet stood by my word to stop my desire/needs for drugs through standing within each and every movement to do it and not give into the energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself lie to myself in saying it's ok one more time, I am just testing myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use the process of becoming life to get high and hide behind the dishonesty of my actions as it's really due to self interest.

When and as I see myself going into the excuse of I am testing myself or I can do this one more time, I stop and breath, and I realize that this is not honest, I am using this excuse to get a fulfillment as I am in desire and need as energy within the mind through thoughts as debates to do it or not. I realize if I am being moved within the mind as energy and within my physical, I am not standing and thus I can not trust my words nor actions.

I commit myself to stop these thoughts of 'I am testing myself' in a self compromising action.

I commit myself to stop these thoughts of 'I am only doing it this one time' through not participating in them and letting them go.

I commit to write out the points that come up that I see I still have any energy movements within them and clear them.

I commit myself to breath and push my living breath by breath in living my words, being effective, and pushing myself beyond my boundaries until I am here and standing through my own self direction in self honesty absolutely.

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Check out FREE Downloads of Supportive Interviews to Help You Walk this Journey to LIfe, Enjoy!

Parenting - Perfecting the Human Race - Part 1
Parenting - Perfecting the Human Race - Part 2
Parenting - Perfecting the Human Race - Part 3
Parenting - Perfecting the Human Race - Part 4
Parenting - Perfecting the Human Race - Part 5

The Metaphysical Secrets of Imagination - Introduction
The Metaphysical Secrets of Imagination - Self Image and Imagination- Part 1
The Metaphysical Secrets of Imagination - Self Image and Imagination- Practical Support - Part 2
The Metaphysical Secrets of Imagination - Comparing Images and Imagination- Part 3
The Metaphysical Secrets of Imagination - Comparing Images and Imagination- Practical Support - Part 4
The Metaphysical Secrets of Imagination - Positive Self-Image Relationship - Part 5

Relationship Success Support - Connection Personality
Relationship Success Support - Introduction
Relationship Success Support - Intimacy Personality (Part 1)
Relationship Success Support - Intimacy Personality (Part 2)
Relationship Success Support - Intimacy Personality - Part 3
Relationship Success Support - Intimacy Personality - Part 4

The Spirituality of the Snail – Part 1
Psychic Animals - The Sheep - Part 1
Psychic Animals - The Sheep - Part 2

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Sunday, September 22, 2013

Seeing life as Boring - Day 345

Please reference this blog for further perspective on this point:
"Mind Give Me Joy" - Day 344

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see life as boring.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see my experiences within my mind as exciting and interesting.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see my mind images as smoking weed and then going and doing a physical activity as fun.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed the thought that 'doing physical things is much more fun high'.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe the thought that 'i have much more interesting and insightful realizations when i am high'.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see being high as a way to connect with life more, with people more, and be more intelligent.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire weed when i am reading and researching things as I believe that I gain more out of what I am reading due to being high and on weed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to smoke weed when i am in the bathtub because i had a belief that being high makes me more relaxed.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe these acceptances about weed as helping me more then if I was not on them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my mind as images of memories of being high in the past and seeing how enjoyable it was as i remember how I experienced myself connecting to nature.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that those memories of moments that I apparently was connecting to nature where in fact real, when I realize that I indeed did not connect to nature because I couldn't communicate with it and physical see beyond the usual of what I always see.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that life with out weed is boring.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe life without any drug to get me high such as pills, hash, e, mushrooms, alcohol that I will not experience life in a different way and a heightened way because I have a belief that all i am is the way i see myself within and as my mind.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to only imagine life through my mind, what it's like and what is possible without taking the physical steps to move myself, transcend my mind through these points of desire, and walk the self perfection process breath by breath until it is done.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fall into the belief that life is through thinking and memories and substances outside myself to enjoy it and experience myself as more.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire to experience myself more then who I am here in each moment.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe me here living breath by breath is not enough, is not stimulating enough, and thus always go into energy as desire and fulfillment through outside sources.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to see those who smoke weed and do drugs as a cool group, and those who don't are missing out.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that not doing drugs is missing out on life.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire to fulfill my desires within my mind to receive excitement within fulfilling them through outside sources.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to only consider myself and my wants within the desires to fulfill my excitement instead of the life i am effecting such as the physical body with weed and it's effect on my lungs.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not care about the consequences in my mind dimensions as well as on my physical body of doing drugs and seeking pleasure through desires and pushing myself to fulfill them in an addiction personality.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to only care about getting high and having fun and enjoying myself in my mind as thoughts and imaginations and fantasy scenarios rather then the physical environment i am effecting and my physical itself I am abusing.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to make my mind god as the excitement, fun, good, pleasure fulfilled and the physical what is real as the boring, avoidable, undesirable based on seeking energy through my mind as experiences of feelings as stimulation in thinking and fantasizing about what could be, or imagining what i'll be like in the future.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to allow myself to become addicted to my own self interest in seeking instant gratification through outside influences through the mind as energy rather then walking the physical process here, breath by breath in my living, and accumulating my living to be real, substantial, and what is best aligned with all life equal to self and who I am in my living.

When and as I see myself go into my mind to seek any point of self interested outside source for my pleasure or stimulation through energy addictions such as drugs, or sex, or food, or sleeping, I stop and breath, and realize that going to do something or be something to get a high, I am existing within the mind as a polarity of the physical, making the physical and the mind in competition and comparing it, rather then living here in my physical and directing myself within and as my living each and every breath with no need, want, or desire directing me, i direct me here in what I self will within my own common sense assessment and decision in each moment. I realize that life is not boring but here living and changing but stable in each moment, life is everything and thus is not able to be defined and categorized but is simply who I am in each moment.

I commit myself to breath through all desires that come up to do something or have something that is based on a point of seeking fulfillment within the mind as an addiction.

I commit myself to move myself within each moment to substantiate my life through actually living and expanding myself within my own self application, my own learning, my own doing, and become aware here in each moment.

I commit to walk breath by breath and use my physical movement to become aware of all that is here in each moment, connecting to my environment, and letting go of the need of fulfillment outside myself and see myself already fulfilled here.

Saturday, September 14, 2013

"Mind Give Me Joy" - Day 344

Recently, a few points have opened up in relation to addiction and specifically desiring entertainment because I perceive life to be boring, so to entertain myself within my mind through my living, I had been using drugs for the past 10 years or so to do this. Now within the past 3 years, I have been walking the desteni process which has supported and assisted me to stop smoking weed as this was my main drug of choice, and I have become stable within my direction as my decision to never go back to the way I use to be on this drug. I also let go of the thought patterns, the desires, the picture activation within my mind to go ahead and smoke weed by stopping my participation in them over time each and every time they would come up, stop and focus on the physical. Over time these mind components that usually set me on the track to do drugs, had become lesser and lesser as I stopped my mind and so the desire diminished greatly. This supporting me to stop my participation in weed completely.

But recently, I have realized that I have not completely transcended this point of addiction as I still at times follow desires and thoughts to get a rush of energy as excitement or fulfillment through something outside of myself. I have found the main common denominator within these addiction desires that eventually leads me to some sort of energy rush be it sweets, drugs, sex, or even watching a movie or a show, was this point of being bored within my day to day living, seeing life as more fun with the release of these feelings. I was being moved by a desire within me to get some excitement in my life even though I was not supporting my body and in more cases then not my body was showing to me that I am abusing it, through pains, aches, and sickness.

What I have realized through the help of other destonians is that this point of seeing life in reality as boring, I am time looping myself within because I am polarizing what is real as boring and what is illusion as stimulating, and thus you can see the dilemma, I am searching and seeking illusion while disregard and abusing what is real as not as worthy. So an addiction pattern I have been participating in making the mind be the positive, the energy rush that I get when I get the desire fulfilled such as sex, drugs, sweets, or whatever it is, and then make my living, my life, life in general in physical reality the negative. But through this belief that I am following that life is boring, I am being played the whole time by consciousness as the mind through me as it gains the energy it needs to continuing existing sucking the physical life from my physical body as it resource the energy straight from the physical itself.

And so creating a point of self sabotage within me as destroying that which is real, life, my physical participation, and my opportunity here to birth myself as the physical itself equal and one as life to become what is here in fact, the physical, the life that's always been here that I have not discovered yet beyond the mind, beyond thoughts, beyond energy, but here in breath. And this discovery of the physical as I have come to learn through many different interview series of great support from desteni is that we have the ability to be one and equal in communication with the physical reality, the animals, the plants, the trees, my physical body, everything that exist as it is right here to be accessed because everything that exist is life and thus is self as we are all one here as life because we are all physically existing. We are all here existing as the physical and the physical is life which is the real self, who we really are, so there is a process to be walked to get there, and so this polarity point I have been existing within is separating me from this life here in the physical as I exiting in my mind searching and seeking energy release.

So obviously, I will have to walk the self forgiveness process in clearing this point of polarizing my reality with my mind, and merge the two to be here, direct, within my own directive principle living in common sense through placing self commitments to support my living change in what is best for all as this is the path to life. From what I have understood thus far in my study of the desteni material is that the most extraordinary path we can walk for ourselves is the path to our own self direction through our own self will in self honesty one and equal with the physical, that is where our power is and that is where we are, we are physical beings, but have to emerge as such because we separated ourselves from it a long time ago through our minds and energy addiction. Join us through following and starting your own journey to life blog, and through our living actions in correcting ourselves to align with life, we will truly give ourselves the gift of life.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Day 204 - Stopping My Copy Cat Character

You can reference this blog for further perspective on the quote below:

Day 203 - Realizing the Change that is Necessary for Movement

“I have realized this point of seeing myself better then others is not something I in fact live and believe about myself, but really is a defense mechanism within me based on holding onto and living within fear. I see this point of being self righteous is a point of belief that I have to inflate myself so to speak or otherwise I will not survive within society, with people, with family, and with work colleagues.“

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that I have to inflate myself and become self righteous to survive among society, people, family, and work related colleagues within fear of not being able to compete with them and thus create myself within ways and means that in my mind are good ‘social norms’ that will make me accepted and thus have an easier time socially getting what I want. I realize though within this compromise of trying to fit in with others and become like everyone else as social norms, I am never actually enjoying myself with others as I am always in a constant point of competition and comparison. This allowing never any rest or comfortableness as the stress is always their in social environments either on staying at the top by conforming and creating myself into this character that will always be ever evolving and changing as life around me is always evolving and changing, and also the constant struggle of maintaining this character, the upgrading of it and the fulfillment of these imaginative desires I have now created by playing in my mind of what character I could present and thus be, and what I will get when others see me as this 'fabulous' person, but I'm not real, I am not living, I am only creating illusions and generating energy that I have now become addicted to.

I commit myself to when and as I go into this point of defense mode as moving into becoming this character to measure up and conform to others around me, I stop and breath, and become stable within myself as my body. I stop all the thoughts and desires and thus impulses to go into imagination land in my mind, and remain practicing my breathing, staying disciplined in what I am physically doing here, and walking the solutions in what is best for all always.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become overwhelmed with emotion of elation and excitement when I see I have lined up and aligned my character creation as getting positive feedback and thus within myself become more at ease because the stress of survival has lifted for a moment. I realize though that this lift of stress is going to be short lived as I continue to operate within my mind in comparison and judgment with others around me as I am not seeing myself as the living being that is in fact equal with all others here and thus living within this simple truth and stability, but have created and participated in emotions and feelings that are attached now to characters such as the character of being accepted, and thus now only base this moment of relaxation to, if I am accepted in my environment rather then living here and accepting me as the environment one and equal and living from this real point of stability which is me as the physical as the environment as myself.

I commit myself to when and as I go into a point of self satisfaction within the feelings of elation because my character was accepted and thus I go into this character within myself of being accepted were I can relax for a moment, I stop and breath, and do not allow myself to participate within these social character buildings I exist within my own mind as this is not supporting me as I am not supporting myself but basing myself on others, and thus I push to accept all as myself here and live from this starting point always, everything here is me and I am equal with all here.

I commit myself to walk and continue to push my own self acceptance, stopping the thoughts of comparison and judgment, and accepting others as I would want to be accepted, pushing myself to breath before communicating with others and speak within my own directive reasoning of common sense, I stop my desire to be accepted by others by pushing myself to live as the physical and walk what is best for all always.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the imagination dimension within my mind of creating this character that others will accept, finding the perfect cloths to wear, how I will wear my hair, and having a picture in my head that I view in the time leading up to it such as a certain hair style, and thus try and copy that style, instead of walking here and trusting myself, expressing myself in the moment in what I would like to wear and what is comfortable, and dressing up in a way I see appropriate not based on how I see others will think of me, but how I want to look for myself.

I commit myself to stop and breath when I start to wonder in my mind with others around comparing and contrasting myself to them. I commit to start to move my physical body and do something physical to not accept and allow myself to go into the possession of thought of who and how I want to present for others to see me as acceptable. I commit to push my own self expression and stop this point of coping others looks and images that I like and become creative within and as myself as an original being living equal to all as this expression of freedom as ourselves.

More to follow, thanks.

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Saturday, January 12, 2013

Day 203 - Realizing the Change that is Necessary for Movement

Recommended Blog -

Economist's Journey to Life

I have realized this point of seeing myself better then others is not something I in fact live and believe about myself, but really is a defense mechanism within me based on holding onto and living within fear. I see this point of being self righteous is a point of belief that I have to inflate myself so to speak or otherwise I will not survive within society, with people, with family, and with work colleagues. It’s like a complete mind field we are playing amongst each other, within these points such as who has the best of this, who is the best in that, and thus we all within ourselves gauge ourselves within these comparisons we consciously, subconsciously, and unconsciously make towards others, and then create this polarity within ourselves of what I am ‘good’ at and what I am ‘weak’ at.

It’s fascinating because maybe 20 percent of these points we see are good/bad within ourselves is actually physically lived within our worlds, the other 80 percent (these numbers are my assumption within educated observation) is completely done within our heads, constantly and continuously I am on a subconscious and unconscious level creating this character I have to be to become successful in life based on the thoughts and memories I hold of what I created within the comparisons within the last week or month and from there start accumulating from and building. I find I just go from person to person and find out what I like about them, what they are good at, and what I can find that will help me get more to that space within myself because within myself I don’t believe I am that and need others assistance to show me how to get it. Like becoming a copy machine were I soak up others ‘auras’ so to speak of what I find I like and then go into my imagination and start placing ways and methods in my mind of how I am going to do that and get good at that point, so I can become more rounded and feel better about myself.

But the whole point is not working out because I do not follow through in most of the points that I start imagining about. For instance, I see a lot of really cool art coming through facebook, and within my mind I am like I am going to start doing that, I have to start doing that because I want to become a good artist. But when it comes down to actually sitting and doing the art, I never do it because I have little patience’s and don’t want to sit and actually work on a piece of art. Even though I do enjoy it and have created in the past some cool pieces.

So I find I am really using this point of self righteousness to not actually get up and have to move and stop my participation within these thought patterns and comparisons within my world as I get satisfaction within the mind energy from these points of imaginations and thoughts, but never actually follow through. TO some degree it is based on this belief that I am in most cases inferior to others and thus will not be able to do things, and the other point is that I am lazy and just don’t want to put in the time and effort to getting a point done methodically and to absolute completion within doing it the best I can do. So within my living up to this point I have been happy, content, person, not having to push myself, but live within my head and imagine what I ‘could be. In this state of doing jack shit though, I am not getting myself in a position where I am self directed and actually working towards real directive change.

I see I am being lazy within myself, not pushing myself as I could and thus not making my process within the potential I see that is here within me possible. I am holding onto and creating all these points within my mind of comparison and status, but never really just being with beings as just here, stopping the comparisons, stopping the judgments, stopping the thoughts because I am afraid, afraid of having bad feelings within myself and this path of not directing myself is easy, living the easy way as a mind system. But obviously I am aware of the consequences of this, and I see the devastation within myself, my world, and the world as a whole within this point of living from the mind and taking the easy way out. There is never an easy way as eventually everything will catch up, there is a direct way in what is best for all or the easy way in the mind as a system feeding off of feelings, both have consequence, but the results are vastly different, one leading to peace and equality and the other leading to hell and destruction.

It’s time to stop taking the easy way as living from feelings, and start living from the physical, and taking responsibility for my living within myself as my thoughts, feelings, and emotions and within my actions as changing them to align with what is best for life, I stand for life and so I will walk the process until I am this in fact as the flesh in the physical as breath.

Artwork By Fellow Destonian:
Matti Freeman

Check Him out here:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MattiFreeman
Blog: http://www.matterfreeman.com/
Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/mattifreeman1
Music: http://www.soundcloud.com/mfm-radio

For Further Support, Please check out Links:

Free Desteni I Process Lite Course for All Ages
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to Life
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki

Friday, November 30, 2012

Day 182 – Introduction to My Anxiety - Fear of Being Seen in a Bad Light Part 2.2

A memory I am holding onto is when I was asked by Bernard at the farm, ‘why I stopped doing the vlogging?’ and within this moment a fear came up within me of being seen by Bernard in a bad light, because this point was true, I had stopped the vlogging, and because I made a value judgment of myself and how I wanted to be seen by Bernard, as someone who was living my words, and never falls, I created this fear and then lived in this fear by not really having an answer to why I stopped. This fear popping up shows that I am in self interest rather then living what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a desire within myself to be seen as special and excelling within who I am and what I do in my living in that moment when Bernard asked me why I stopped vlogging. I realize and see within this desire to be seen as special and excelling, I have created arelationship towards Bernard of defining how I am based on his words and actions towards me, showing that I am not trusting myself and not being self honest in my living.

I commit myself to when and as I see that I am going into this desire of being seen as special and excellent within a group/towards a person in a point of attachment of how others are seeing me and how I desire them to see me, I breath and let go of all the thoughts as desires. I breath through the point of wanting to be seen in a specific way, and answer the question in self honesty immediately rather then skirting around it to try and look my best when the I am not at my best.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be within self interest in desiring to be seen within a specific way towards others rather then be self honest within myself and how I am in fact living, but want to be seen as someone I am not in fact living. I realize that within determining and defining myself within this relationship of how others see me, I thus understand I am accessing self interest thus creating self dishonesty through not living my words by being deceptive to be something I desire to be, but not in fact am.

I commit myself to when and as I go into a point of self interest within a desire to be seen in a specific way by a person/group, I stop and breath, and let go of this desire, not participating in the thoughts and stopping all the energy relationships I formed to this person/groups words and actions in determining who I am, also practicing trusting myself and defining myself within my own self honesty. This by letting go of desires and definitions by others to direct me, and push myself to walk and directing myself within my own self living in the trust and facts that is here, so my best in fact and so I am here and direct, not deceiving myself nor deceiving life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I go into this desire to be seen within a specific way, I immediately create the opposite polarity of fear of being seen in a bad light, and so I create a polarity playout within my world of points that I will desire and fear based on not living these points within equality and self honesty within myself, in accepting both as me as I walk, and creating a point of stability within self by accepting these points and correcting them in self honesty and that which is best for all. I realize that to let go of this point of fear I must let go of the point of desire by accepting each as me and correcting my living in self honesty and what is best for all.

I commit myself to walk the correction by accepting myself within and as each breath, stopping all judgmentof my past or how I am in this moment, and push myself to walk in self honesty in correcting my living and accepting all that is here as me. This can be practiced and lived out by facing my fears and realizing the self-understanding within each moment I breath and walk to become a more aware human living as I consider all that is here that I am living and that is in my environment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go blank in my head when Bernard asked me this question of why I stopped vlogging, as a defense mechanism I have created, so I can hide from myself this fear and desire to be seen in a specific way as bad, as I fear this based on desiring the opposite of being seen as the best and getting attention for this. I realize that this is self interest and not necessary as I can be here within myself and have access to all life if I would accept the oneness of who I am, I can be here within all points ofawareness as life, and thus I stop this need for attention by realizing that I need nothing I am here.

I commit myself to when and as I go into a point of self interest in desiring attention from others and thus also creating the fear of losing this attention and seen in a bad way when I don’t fulfill a certain obligation, I stop and breath, and re-align myself to who I am in myself as life and correct the point within the understanding that it is ok and I am ok to fall or make a mistake, and that I need nothing and that I accept all that is here as me and realize that eventually I will be here, I walk my process in oneness and equality for what is best for all until it is done and I as all is here.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Day 172 - Resistance to Change - Fear of Being Alone

I fear being alone based on this inherent belief that I can not make it on my own, and thus using this as a dependency and reliance on others to help me, so I don’t have to take full responsibility for myself and really commit to the absolute change that I am walking for life. If i am not able to take full responsibility for myself, how can I expect myself to really change and how can I ask others to do the same, if I am not willing or am to afraid to take that leap and push myself to really change absolutely. I will not be able to be taking for real, and will be seen by others as untrustworthy, which is not a position I want for myself. To stop this self diminishment point of being a hypocrite, and to transcend the fear of being alone, I have to prove to myself that I am able to do anything that I put myself into. I have proven this within things I enjoy and am ‘good’ at, but now it’s to prove with things that I ‘fear’ and see myself as ‘inadequate’ at. It will take time to get to this stability point, but I realize every step and every decision I make that will create the outcome of what is best for all, is walking one step closer to transcending this fear and letting go of the power the fear has on me. Here will walk self forgiveness and self correction on this fear of being alone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the fear of being alone in where I am suppressing the fact that I actually have to push myself in what I see that I am not ‘good’ at to stand up on my own and make my own way to self stability without the help or dependence on others, and to also prove to myself that I can do it or gave myself the chance to try. I realize that when I exist within this idea that l am not good enough and thus accept the fear that I will not be able to succeed at something, I will go into a self suppression and not express myself fully.

I commit myself to when and as I go into this idea of myself of a negative outlook on myself where I will hesitate or stop participating fully in what it is I am doing, I stop and breath, and push myself to not be directed by those thoughts, doing the action that i feared doing so I can prove that I can direct myself and stop the illusion that I am am not able to do it without the physical action of trying to prove that I can or can't.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being alone based on believing that I don’t have what it takes to exist on my own and be able to become stable on my own as all I have ever known is the support and assistance of others helping me along. I realize that within this I am really taking advantage of others help as I know that I don’t really have to go for it and put myself out there because I will have always a support within others.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself go into this fear and thus use others supports as a means to get out of my own self responsibility to move myself, I stop and breath, and push myself to walk the necessary steps I realize I have to take in the physical to be self supportive. Using common sense assessment, and not allowing myself to use others support to halt my own self movement as I stop the fear from directing me and push myself in the phsyical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall into the pattern of believing that I need support from others or I will not be able to get where I want to be without the support from others, and to a degree this is true, but realizing and being self honest within the line of where I need to stand up and support myself, stopping my fear of speaking out and being out there alone, so pushing myself in my physical movement to being here stable in who I am and being able to stand up and behind what I find to be true by living this in my own self living through means of my own doing to self supportive clarity within the principles I live as.

I commit myself to when and as I see that I am going to fall into the pattern of accepting others support and assistance, I do not accept myself to fall into this within a self compromising way, I push myself to stand up and do not allow others to take advantage of me or me take advantage of others, so I can be stable and stand in the face of adversity and realize who I will be and know where I will stand to be clear and be able to support in reality in what will be best for all and let go of all self interest for my own gains.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear change and fear standing alone as I fear being seen by others as not able and not good as this is how i believe others see me, so thus I realize that stopping these beliefs and thoughts of how others see me, I can thus walk the correction by standing within what I have self realized and the principles that are solid as oneness and equality of all life, and walk the correction of this world as I walk the correction within myself.

I commit myself to when and as I allow these beliefs that I will be seen and thought of by others as not good or a failure, I stop and breath, and realize this is not real as it’s only coming from within my mind, I realize I have the ability to learn and perfect myself within my living as this I know will be a step by step process. So I practice patience with myself and walk my process breathing and moving myself each day, so I accumulate a new being as myself that is able to stand within the face of this world as the mind, and be the solution, I walk until the solution as myself as this world is here through walking and living self forgiveness within self honesty to self change in perfection of living.

For Further Support, Please check out Links:

Free Desteni I Process Lite Course for All Ages
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to LIfe
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki

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