Self Forgiveness (Day 4): The Elixir of the Mind/Separation - Day 582

Art By: Andrew Gable

Find his Blog here: https://anartistsjourneytolife.wordpress.com

Here I am looking at the desires that come up within me during my day, there is always something looming within, like a thirst that can not be quenched, a movement that I am reaching for, but is just out of my reach, a churning in the pit of my stomach for a taste of this sweet sweet nectar of getting my desires fulfilled, and if it does not, I go into a state of conflict.

There is a fine line between expressing within words and living words that are here within specific indulgences I have for a long time had an addiction in, the words I live must be specific so I give myself the solid foundation I will need to be able to walk the path of self-honesty, and transcendence to be able to indeed direct myself and not have the mind as thoughts, feelings, and emotions direct me. I have walked this path many times from addiction to self-direction, though it always seems to continue to challenge me, going deeper into the addiction patterns, investigating who I am within it and how I will walk in honor of who I am as life and all life here. And man when the mind as self as the addiction of desire wants something, it almost becomes too overwhelming where one just completely go into it and give in and indulge.

Self Forgiveness on Indulgence and giving into desire:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire to give in to my indulgences in such a way where i do it in a possession of believing that if i don't fulfill this desire i will collapse and become miserable and irritable, and so i must just get it because this is my savior.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that within what i do and who i am that i must be getting access to the things i want and cause me to pain if i don't have them such as the pain of desiring something and not getting it, and through this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that without the thing that i desire and cause suffering in the moment, if i don't get it i will be lost and suffer much.

i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe without fulfilling the desire that i am wanting that i will die and not be able to go on in my life.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that without giving myself pleasure within fulfilling the desire within me as the mind's quest for release within the energy that accumulates once the desire is fulfilled to make my god and so follow it as my savior in this life instead of seeing, realizing, and understanding i am doing harm to myself and my body as i am not in full consideration of all, but only seeking the high of the desire fulfilled which is the drug of the mind that i feed.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that without the fulfillment of the desire that i won't have a good life and it will be filled with missed experiences.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate in desires themselves and so become only interested in fulfilling my desire and thus becoming ignorant to my self responsibility to all life to do what is best as i would like for me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become selfish within my pursuits of my life in search of what is best for me, what makes me feel good, what gives me pleasure, while all the while ignoring how and who i am effecting within what i am doing in each moment i am here.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go into thoughts and emotions and feelings when the desire constructs come up instead of moving into breath and living who i am as principles in what is best for all.

I commit myself to walk the path of breath, letting go of all desires and urges for self fulfillment in self interest through breathing and grounding myself as the energy with the earth in realizing that i exist within all and thus i am able to direct myself in what is best at all times.

I commit myself to consider my body equal and one within what i decide to live and express in and see where my body stands within what i do and why i do it, getting to know the body as me and waking up to the path that considers both self and the body and doing what is best for all.

I commit myself to release my desire flow of energy release through breath and in the moment direct myself to consider and so live what is best for all here, day by day, breath by breath.

Thanks for reading.


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Day 259 – Does Survival of the Fittest Make Me A Robot? Only If I Allow It

Please reference these blogs for further context:
Day 253 – Yelling/Beating Someone Up in My Mind
Day 254 - "Being Taken Advantage of" to Justify My Abuse
Day 255 – Being Angry Because I am Offended By You - Part 1
Day 256 – Being Angry Because I am Offended By You – Part 1.2
Day 257 – Being Angry Because I am Offended By You 1.2 Continued

Day 258 – Does Survival of the Fittest make me a Robot?

When and as I go into a point of competition in where I will go into a quick scan and comparison with another where I will see if I am able to compete within them, I stop and breath, and realize that within this I am limiting my expression based on thinking rather then living in the moment in what is best for both.

I commit myself to stop the scan and comparison until I am no longer moved by it and I am clear here in what direction I will take.

I commit myself to always consider the other as an equal to me in fact as life and stop competing.

I commit myself to breath and release the desire to win and be the best through committing myself to accept myself and let myself live in each moment without judgment.

I commit myself to stop self judgment and thus end polarity playouts within separation with life and find common ground to come to compromise or agreements.

When and as I go into fear of my survival based on the thought that I will lose and thus suppress who I am, I stop and breath, and realize that living from fear will always create more fear in my world, so I realize I must face this fear, accept it as myself, and thus then walk the correction to face the fear and change it into a living for myself. I stop the fear of others and walk with those that stand for a solution that is best for all.

I commit myself to embrace the other as myself seeing them in their shoes and walking a point of humbleness stopping all points of being more.

I commit myself to stop fear and thus stand within my self trust and acceptance, and use my standing and ability within common sense to walk solutions with others and face what is here as consequence.

When and as I go into a point of comparison with another and judge the way they look or speak, I stop and breath, and realize that this will separate me into the mind as ego seeing myself more or less based on the pictures we present, living as suppressed expression within myself in where I can gain the point of knowing another and learning about someone new instead of sabotaging the meet up due to fear.

I commit myself to not accept this comparison to direct me, where I stop paying attention to it, and do not follow it within self compromise.

I commit myself to stop and see reality for what it is, stop going into my mind to define, but see life where it is here in this life in a wholeness.

I commit myself to let go of the thoughts in the mind that we are different, and communicate and go with those I resist and face this fear.

I commit myself to push my resistances and stop limiting myself due to fear, when I go into self compromise, I breath and do not accept it by doing that which I fear in common sense assessment of course.

I commit myself to stop scanning others and see the whole of the room, all that is there rather then focusing and going into my mind.

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