A Lady's Journey to Life: Living In Ignorance, Is There a Gift? Day 499

To continue with my last blog, I wrote on the point of how through ignorance of my actions I fell on a commitment I had made and lived for quite some time, and within this ignorance, I am seeing through support of others and my own self introspection I am making this fall more then what it really is. I have attached emotions and thinking to this fall to blow it out of proportion and as well accumulate it with energy, which will further extend until I release it through some abusive way. Because when I am not directing myself in my mind as the thoughts and emotions that come, I require to move through it simply by breathing and remaining physical and practical with what is here in my current life circumstance.

What I do know and have proven to myself is that I am able to learn and grow from my falls and push myself to do better next time it comes up. To beat myself up over it actually takes more energy and exhausts me more.

So I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become ignorant based on what and how I am doing what and how I am doing in my world without consideration of others and myself in what I have committed in word and so did not live.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a point of self abuse based on what I do in a moment not seeing, realizing, and understanding that within a fall there is a key or gift I can take with me and learn from always so I can be more equipped and skilled to take the point on the next go around and stand my ground and live my words.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into an ignorance about what I am doing where I will go into a blankness and a postitive energy veil where I believe that I am ok and doing fine while I am deliberately going against my word due to the desires that I have built up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to build up desires, wants, and needs about a particular action in reality believing I need it more then anything and that I will not be able to get it anywhere else but within this experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can only get a specific experience of freedom and fun and physical enjoyment through this particular substance and so believe that I am really enjoying myself when in fact it is just a mind simulation of these words.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live freedom, fun, and enjoyment through a substance because I fear that I will never be able to get this myself due to beliefs that I am not good enough and not capable enough to live these words for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can’t live these words fun, freedom, and physical enjoyment due to the belief that I am not good enough and not patient enough to live this in my day to day living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become frustrated with myself because I have not been able to live the word patiences when in reality I have not lived nearly the 10000 hours it takes to master a specific skill one sets out to accomplish.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stop trying and pushing myself due to a belief that I am not patient enough and I will never be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I will never be patient enough when in reality it is a matter of breath awareness and perseverance to see a task through and self direction to do what is best in each moment which I have proven to myself I can do.

I commit myself to let go of the act of ignorance within what I do and align myself life and living to living my words and standing with integrity in what is best for all.

I commit myself to redefine the words fun, freedom, physical enjoyment, patience’s and perseverance to stand in these words and direct myself in my world to live them.

I commit myself to stop beliefs within emotional thought patterns of fear and self abuse and transform it into the living of the word acceptance, self achievement, and reality based living through breath.

I commit myself to walk the 10000 hours to master living words process in what I speak and live and so live my highest potential in this life.