Day 28 - Allowing Self to Flow - The Hips - Resisting what is here

equalmoney.org

So from working through the points with my gut, and working with trusting myself, I am moving on to the hips, where i am finding them to have gained some weight, and also have some pain in the left side. This pain is in the joint area where it feels as if it has been over worked or over used, compensating for the imbalance of my walk where I tend to put more weight on my left side when walking. So some words to work with here is overcompensating, inflexibility, immobile, constriction, and imbalance. 

I am seeing that due to my relationships in the past and my own self relationship with myself, I have allowed myself to become more left side dominant then right side, causing those muscles to be over used and over worked causing pain and discomfort. The weight gain i am seieng due to staying stuck in the past, not moving myself here in the physical through staying stuck in my mistakes i allowed and in this the expressions of self that i didn't live into. This resistance i am seeing of facing my past and what i have allowed in relationships for instance with others and myself, i am over compensating within my day to day activities, pushing beyond my flexibility and capacity where i want to do something, but i have not allowed my body and self discipline to catch up with the potential i am seeing. Not stretching for instance, spending the extra time to warm up before i go into the critical exercise and heavy tax on my body/self, but just move through the pain and discomfort, even though it is causing potential damage. This a lack of self awareness and self discipline, and essentially being lazy, giving up on my best.  

 Within my relationships, this is staying in a relationship or moving out of a relationship due to the thoughts of something is wrong or all is good, not working step by step with the physical and the reality feedback, but wanting it to be the way that suits me best for my interest. Lacking self honesty when in fact i require it to ensure that i am not fucking myself or another, and not allowing or accepting any abuse within my reality/self space. If i am allowing this in my world, then i am allowing it in others worlds as well, maybe not deliberately directly, but subtle it is playing out until eventually it comes to a head and all hell breaks lose and energy outbursts is created.  

Self forgiveness

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to resist the patience and stability as self discipline it'll take to walk the step by step process in the physical to walk the alignment of ensuring the steps are taken i can see that will support myself to be the best i can be and ensure the consideration of all involved is well aligned and understood so all benefit as best possible not matter the effort it'll take as long as what is best and common sense is considered.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go into a desire to take it easy and work with my desires, where i can give into my wants and perceived needs within the idea that i am good, i can do it another time.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that time is something that i have to use with as i please, when i see, realize, and understand that everything has a consequence and everything is existing within space time and in my desires/ wants/ needs i am truly only considering myself and my small circle as my local environment not considering all life within the principles that i live within as it is in self interest only and not what is best for all. 

 I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be desiring to get my own way and in this not listen to common sense, but only listen to my mind as self interest reasoning that i can do what i want or i can get what i want and in that push beyond the consideration of all, and push to get my needs met above others.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame others within my reality about what has transpired in my world, where i seek out the point of desiring the punishment to go onto them as i believe i was done onto and in this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe i was justified to harm others within my force of self onto others where i got my own way and punished others and in this believed that i won, when i see, realize, and understand no one wins. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be spiteful within and as my reality, where i go into blame and anger toward the injustices of others as i believe, instead of taking self responsibility for what i have created and finding the will to live something new that is aligned to others/all and live this change until it is done.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become lazy and apathetic within and as the movement of self to do what is necessary to be done to ensure a world that is best for all as i start with myself within self discipline and self honesty to forgive myself for my past, and walk a change process that is best for all life.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not have compassion within and as others and myself as a point of walking the change process as it takes time and ensuring that application of breathe awareness and constant alignment with what is best as what is best for self is live within my day to day living, letting go of the want desire of self interest and considering in common sense what i can do that is best for all involved. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be spiteful and angry when i do not get my way as i see my life then will be more difficult.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear being and living life more difficult instead of walking my consequence no matter what it is and aligning myself to the solutions that is best for all life. 

I forgive msyelf to be in flexible within and as change when change is necessary to direct and correct myself to what is best and what will ensure i am able to do what is best in my living as this in fact is the only way of life that matters and is truly what i would want for myself and in all shoes if i had to live in them.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to resist my past instead of accepting my past as myself, forgive it as myself, and change myself to align here with what is best for all as living words and living solutions to the best of my ability.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore the signs of imbalance within my body, prioritizing performance or outcomes over presence and care.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to equate pain with progress, instead of seeing that pain is my body’s voice asking for care, realignment, and change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rush my process out of fear of not being enough, instead of trusting the timing of my realignment as breath by breath, here.

When and as I see myself wanting to push through pain or discomfort without listening to my body, I stop and I breathe. I remind myself that my body is not a machine to conquer, but a living being I am here to walk with in partnership.

When and as I resist slowing down or preparing properly (emotionally or physically), I realize I am sabotaging my own potential. I choose preparation and structure over rush and self-interest.

When and as I go into guilt or regret about my past mistakes in relationships, I stop. I breathe. I remind myself that I am not defined by the past, but by who I choose to be in this breath forward.

I commit myself to let go of the desire in self interest to get what i want, and align myself in thought word and deed to what is best for all with my money, my awareness, my time, my energy as i see this is truly the world i would like to create and raise children in.

I commit myself to never give up on myself as all life within the acceptance of what is here and taking full self responsibility to walk my talk in common sense to do what i am able in the space i have to align life to what is best for all through equality and oneness and what is best for all.

I commit myself to stand in self discipline and consistency as i change myself to self interest only to what is best for all as would be best for me proven in my living, and tracking it in my day to day operations.

I commit myself to listen to my physical body more, i commit myself to live the word gentleness where i care for myself and my physical that has been pushed beyond limits at time and requires compassion as self here. 

I commit myself to remain stead fast in my principles of life as self forgiveness, accepting myself for who i am and changing myself step by step as i let go of the past through self forgiveness and changing through living words that will ensure i am living the best version of myself within a consistent application and growth. Also i commit myself to get up from each fall, and stand as life until all life is free as i have freed myself here as breathe. 

More support at -
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com
wiki.desteni.org
equalmoney.org
Self Perfected - Destonian network support on fb
www.techno-tutor.com - word as living support, check out this tool!

"Spoiled Child" Character and Solution - Day 506

Photo Source

I am starting a business series and facing points that come up when I am in business settings and relationships.

First point I am going to write on is the fear of failing as the first fear that comes up and triggers when I see, realize, and understand that a point in my life is not working or something happened that is challenging. The fear moves through my whole body and becomes like a fire that is raging through me and I need some sort of outlet to release it or it feels like I may explode. This sort of like a spoiled child who doesn't yet know how to deal with the environment stimulus they are experiencing and the relationships within that environment, they scream and yell and become destructive, not a good scene all around.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into fear when I hear that something in the business is going bad or is creating a challenge to be faced in real time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go to the worst case scenario without seeing, realizing, or considering the outflows and solutions that can be created even in the worst of cases as I see, realize, and understand there is always solutions if one stay motivated, driven, and creative to find them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in this fear and accept and allow the thoughts to move through me that the business is going to lose money or we are going to lose customers or we are not going to be able to stay in business, and fear the livelihood and survival of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the survival of myself within my mind through fear being triggered instead of taking a breath, a step back, slowing down, and realizing that there is a grounding needed by myself to see the situation clearly and get all the facts to then be able to create a solution or support with this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rush into assumptions about what the facts are and listen to my mind telling me what the facts are before I have even taken a breath and looked and considered the whole situation or occurrence before making any decision or movement on the matter.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for what has occurred based on thoughts going on in my mind in reaction to the initial thoughts of the business going down, and thus blame them through my words and actions of calling them out and chastising them for events that are not related and thus are not necessarily any fault of theirs. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become like a spoiled child who should be listened too and considered and able to just release all my emotions so I am feeling clear and better, not considering or taking responsibility for the outflows my actions and behaviors have on others in my environment and how I am creating more of a destructive environment rather then a supportive expansive one. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to news in energy and emotion rather then breathing, slowing down, and assessing the information in a calm manner that is supportive for the problem, the solution, the people involved, and for my own self responsibility to become a leader in what is best for all rather then a dictator who is tyrannical and nasty.

When and as I see I am going into this rush of fear when I move from a shock experience of something happening in my environment, I stop and breath and realize that at this time I need to take a step back, ground myself in my body through breath, slow down, look and understand all the facts involved, and assess what changes/solutions are needed to correct the point and make changes that will support what is best for all.

I commit myself to live the word slow down and breath when the shock comes of an event that is challenging and/or difficult in my life.

I commit myself to fact find before I take any course of action within the matter.

I commit myself to stand as a support and example for others to understand the mistake made and find solutions to correct the mistake and circumvent it happening again.

I commit myself to use common sense in business matters and do what is best for all within my dealings with business matters, business relationships, and business solutions.

Self Supportive Material -
http://www.Eqafe.com

Desteni-I-Process Lite Beginner course -
http://www.lite.desteniiprocess.com

Forum support:
http://forum.desteni.org

Desteni Wiki:
http://wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page

Eqafe Facebook Page:
https://www.facebook.com/Eqafe-359136...

7 year journey to life Facebook group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/journ...

DIP Lite on Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/DIPLite

Soul - School of Ultimate Living

https://www.schoolofultimateliving.com

Day 35- Hurry Up

The way I have existed throughout my life as far back as I can remember has been through a lets move quick and get it done mentality, being slow and going slow within who I am has not been the case or the way I have conducted myself at all. I find it quite difficult to be patient with others and not go into reactions of annoyance if I am not getting what I expect in a quick fashion, so thus this has created a lot of separation and unnecessary conflict and friction within myself and my world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to desire to get things done quickly and in a manner that is immediate and I can get an instant result as gratification through an energy movement as this point of getting the end result as soon as possible.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into impatiences when I don't get what I expect immediately or rather quickly in my world and thus go into irritation towards the being that I blamed to have caused this to thus be able to manipulate the other through this force of me as annoyance to have a better chance to get my need met as energy being gained through getting what I desire.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into blame and manipulation of another to get what I want within energy through my own self interest and thus diminish the opportunity for life here with all in oneness and equality which is the real true freedom of self.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to desire to get what I want and expect within the quickest time frame based on me being addicted to getting what I want based on living within a point of separation with others by only considering myself and only considering my own self interest thus I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into addiction as energy through getting what I want and thus being addicted to this so much where I have created a personality as quickness where I do all things in fast pace to get what I want quicker as I have become so addicted that I can't be here within breath but always in the mind pushing, forcing, and accelerating myself through the illusion of time and my idea of getting things done quicker then what is here to walk so I can get this energy within wants, needs, and desires I am living as and accepting within separation of who I really am.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I can defy the physical practical reality of what is here to be walked and thus believe I can use my force as pushing in a haste to get what I want in the belief that this is ok and it will work out for me when I realize and see that it always diminishes my abilities to be clear and here where I miss points, lose focus, and compromise myself by not being equal with what is here, but trying to gain more then what I have access to as what is here in physicality and compromising myself to grow and expand within reality which is here in the physical not within my mind in a haste.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be within the mind dimensions of myself as thoughts, beliefs, and ideas of what is suppose to be and thus drive for this in haste as I have aligned myself with the addiction of gaining the energy as the result to what it is I am addicted to and thus by never getting enough as this energy always runs out, and thus I have created within me a need for more and more and thus because of my addiction to this energy as more I push and push to get this within the quickest time I can get it because all I have become is this addiction as energy accumulation and release and thus become a raging system to get my feed on the energy I believe that is who I am and what I need to feel good.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become addicted to energy in such a way that I compromise myself and others through rushing and not living within reality here in the physical but in my mind as a network of pictures, ideas, thoughts, and memories and thus am able to move through the mind dimensions in hyper speed but always within reality I compromise myself and my world because I am not real and not physical but in haste as illusion through the dimensions of my mind which is like a web and very difficult to gain stability within and a sense of self as it is filled with many points that move very quickly and is so big that there is no real access to reality and what is in real time because one is always following what the mind is showing which is always thoughts, feelings, emotions, and thus it continues as I continue to exist within in it, it is me until I stop.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself as a mind system completely where I have actually compromised my living as life in reality and totally submitted myself to the illusions of my thoughts, ideas, beliefs, emotions/feelings and created a personality suit that 'I can not wait', 'I can not be patient', 'I need this immediately or I will be diminished'.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself in accepting the idea that I can be diminished if I don't get what I desire as energy in immediacy or I will lose something.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear losing what I desire based on the idea that I need these things to live and feel good.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within the idea that I need my desires fulfilled at all times in the quickest way possible for me to be happy and feel good here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to limit myself within the idea that I need to feel good and be happy to be able to exist with myself and continue, when I realize and see this is just a point of energy acceptance I have lived as and thus became addicted to due to me separating myself from myself here as life and thus placing definitions on life here and creating myself in relationship to everything that exist here a way that I believe that I am not what I see, hear, touch, and smell and so thus I have created energy movements as feelings and emotions to define what I already am and have always existed as as everything that I come in to contact with in separation as if I don't know what it is and thus I don't see me within and as it.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to miss this point of me in oneness and equality with all that exist because I was not living the truth of who I am as one and equal as myself to all that is here but existed within the belief and thus the thoughts that I am separate from others here because we are this and that and I don't at this moment exist in this way or that thus we are not the same so we are separate not realizing that even though I as life look different and appear different in moments in my world, in essence and where we come from is the same source/origin/substance and that is life one and equal with all as is within me, we all are the same within and without as we are all here and we are all life, there is nothing more nor nothing less that exist here then this fact that all life is here as self.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to miss the breath here of life within the rhythm of what is here as life's movement in this physical existence and never allowed myself to slow myself down enough to live here and see myself for all that I am here to thus have more of a clear opportunity to not miss myself within who I am and what I am living, and be able to face myself and change myself to remain here as the breath of life by living this for real within and as who I am as I am here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become addicted to energy  accumulation and release and thus I forgive myself for allowing and accepting a haste to develop for more and more and thus moved quicker and quicker in the mind to get my fill missing me as life and thus self sabotaging and limiting myself to only being this drive for more and more energy and living only within a cycle of polarities that never end because I am missing myself within it and searching for me so it's a infinite cycle of looking for myself when I have always been right here as I breath.

I forgive myself for missing me here as patience and acceptance of all life as me and walking solutions with all as me in what is best for all.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to miss me here as the breath and thus missed my opportunity to live life here in reality where I am as I breath, this is always slower then the mind as it is to be actually lived through accumulation of living breaths step by step, and can not be done in an instant in many cases, life I realize is in breathing here in the physical which moves slower then the mind as thoughts, feelings, emotions, and ideas/beliefs as mind is illusion and thus can do anything within any point of an acceptance, the physical has to be lived thus require patiances and deligiance to be real within it, which is slow going.

When and as this point of haste to get my energy addictions filled through getting some sort of high through the build up and release of desires, thoughts, ideas, beliefs, pictures, I stop, breath, and continue breathing to let go of all the accumulation of the need for more energy. I slow myself down within myself as I become aware of my physical movement. I walk this correction of stopping the haste, slowing down by breathing and physical movement, and walk here as physical reality participation and walking this slow and in patiances to accumulate myself in a more stable way by seeing more by living for real through being here in more clarity by walking here within my breath as the physical itself through and as my physical body.

I commit to slow myself down through become aware of my breathing and physical body within movements.

I commit to stopping going into energy addictions and acceleration through my mind by thoughts, ideas, and emotion/feelings accumulation as a want and desire.

I commit to walk within and as what is real through considering all that is here through becoming more physical and slowing myself down to consider more of the reality that I am living in in actual participation here as I breath instead of going in energy and the mind and pushing to get an energy fill.

I commit to stop the desires, need and wanting to feel good within myself and be here within what is real and thus able to direct in reality based on fact and not on my mind which is only in self interest which I see and realize will always compromise my self stability and self trust.

I commit to walk the process from my mind dimensions to here as breath until all that remain is me here one and equal with life as we breath.



hurry up, move quicker, how to get things done quickly, why can't I slow down, impatience, haste living, slow down, take it easy, equality, eqafe, equal money, equal life, ems, elf, desteni, journey to life, 2012