I have taken on a new position in my job where it wasn’t a direct decision by myself where I had time to consider all the points and find what best suited me, I was more thrown into the position by unforeseen and unfortunate events. With that being said, I am now in a position of leadership and responsibility where I have to sharpen my skills and face fears and illusions I have created for myself. One of the points that has been coming up lately and has been effecting my work flow and environment is this nagging backchat that ‘I don’t want all this responsibility, I don’t want to be in charge of all this, I don’t want to be stressed about money and problems that arise day in and day out, I want to be free and do what I want’, then my mind will go into pictures of how others are getting to have an easier time, get to have fun and be worry free, I want that life again, I don’t want all this responsibility.
Though I realize that I have to change this pattern because I have decided to walk this path and ensure I do my best at it. So I will walk some forgiveness and create some ways forward for myself to find solutions for the points that I am facing within this character.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a character of the ‘I don’t want to’ do what I have in front of me to do because of beliefs that it’s too hard and too much, not seeing that I am creating an experience of it as too much and too hard because of the personality I am going in of not wanting to do something with the energy of resistance and tiredness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the character of ‘I don’t want to’ based on the belief that I am not able to when I see, realize, and understand I am able to that its more a lack of effort to do what has to be done because I have created a polarized reality of what is good and what is based through comparison with other people in my world.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to have my life be smooth and comfortable at all times where I don’t have stress or points that are challenging because within that I have created the perception that this is what I want.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blind me from the realization within the actually facing challenges and pushing myself within them to find solutions and ways forward, I grow and expand and this is when I am most empowered as I am able to be more purposeful within what I do and create more of who I am through the challenges I face.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed pictures and thoughts of how good it is over there in the easy life where I see comfort and fun, when I see, realize, and understand each one is equally facing challenges within there lives and that life is not about what you do or where you are, but more who you are within it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to miss the face that I am where I am and I have the responsibilities I have, though I can accept this and walk within the realization that these challenges will support with my growth and expansion, and empower me to be more and more the person I really am as my potential in this life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create blame and reaction to others in my reality for frustrations I am having toward myself for not moving into the challenges in acceptance and walking who I am within them as a creation process and opportunity to live my utmost potential within it.
When and as I am seeing myself go into the ‘I don’t want to’ character and start blaming and going into daydreams about how great life is over there, I stop and breathe, and realize that I am responsible for who I am within my life circumstances and I can change myself to accept this and live these opportunities to the best of my ability and make them something worthwhile that is best for me and all.
I commit myself to live the word acceptance when I see I am going into blame or reactive thoughts as I see I decide to walk this point and that I am responsible for who I create myself.
I commit myself to walk solutions that are substantial to support myself and all involved in a way that supports all to be there best by walking with them, understanding them, and finding ways to support there strengths and strengthen their weaknesses as I walk for myself.
I commit myself to live the word accept – stand where I accept what is here as it is and move into directing myself to live my highest potential and bring the best out of what I am walking within myself and within others.
I commit myself to push myself in challenges where I move into solutions and let go of the desire to resist and give up.
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