Day 242 – Mean Character – Back Chat Dimension – “They are so Lazy”

For further reference on the mean character, please read these following blogs:

Day 237 – Walking with Others – Why People see me ...

Day 238 – Mean Character – Militant Biatch
Day 239 - Mean Character - Self Commitments
Day 240 – Leadership and the Mean Character
Day 241 – Leadership and the Mean Character – Self Correction to Live

Here looking at my back chat in terms of when this mean character come into play within me, where I will become this person as being mean towards others in my world, and I see it’s created and thus generated through this backchat thoughts of “They are so Lazy”. This is within a point of me not having something be easy and smooth in my world, and thus I have to put extra effort in based on another person not competing there responsibilities. I realize though within this to be determined and moved based on others actions and thus allow myself to be trapped in the mind as blame when I don’t know for facts the reasons for such absentness, I will be determined and enslaved to these needs in myself of having others compare to my work effort and thus going into a immediate blame if it is not complete.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an anger within me that is exerted out in my words of harshness and abrasiveness towards others when I initially allowed and accepted the backchat thought of others that they are lazy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow and participate in the thought of they are so lazy by accepting the energy as anger and irritation to consume me into blame towards another and a superior stance towards them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry and irritated at others in my world that I have thought this thought about that they are lazy and immediately compare them to me in what I am doing, and always judge them as not as productive as me in what I am doing and contributing to others in my world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be blaming others for the effort I put in to my day and thus create more of this anger emotion because I see myself having to work harder then others because in my mind I have defined them as lazy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in judgments towards others as lazy and not as hard working as me, and thus fuel this anger and irritation when I have made a judgment in a situation that they are indeed being lazy again.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge another as lazy based on images in my mind as screenshots I memorized in where I judge these people as lazy in their day to day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create screenshots in my mind of moments in timethat are really but illusions and thus determine the physical here in what is going on as a picture in my mind from the past that is based on my perception within a judgment of superiority rather then actually seeing what was really happening in reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become part of the problem and thus create moreconflict and tension within the environment I am in rather then become a support equal to how I would want to be treated, and realize that I can direct the physical into solutions with others if I let go of my judgments of what’s going on which indeed is blinding me from really seeing reality but only what I want to see to feed my self interest in being superior over others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become blinded to reality based on accepting this thought of backchat as ‘they are so lazy’ where I use it to my advantage to be seen as more capable then the other and try to prove this through a point of me vs. them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become vengeful towards others based on believing that I am justified due to the backchat thoughts in my mind that I allow to direct me and thus act on them by being spiteful towards others and mean within my way of acting with them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by my self interest in really trying to be seen as more then others and use the backchat thoughts as ‘they are so lazy’ to justify my actions of abuse and meanness towards them so I can feel empowered and special cause in my mind I have made me right and them wrong.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a polarity within my reality and in my mind as me vs them and thus allow these back chat thoughts as ‘they are lazy’ to direct me into behaving in a way to create this scenario where I win and others lose.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from others and the solution to this life and living in this world of being equal and one and treating others in this way, to create a communion with others and opportunity for solutions in cooperation and support for and by all.

Self Commitment Statements to follow.

Day 241 – Leadership and the Mean Character – Self Correction to Live

Please reference this blog for understanding and context to this post, thanks.

When and as I see I am going into a point of ego when I am given responsibility within a leadership role, I stop and breath, and realize that within this belief and idea that I am chosen or special due to this appointment of leadership over others I am engaging in my ego and thus allowing and accepting the abuse and competitionbetween me and those I am with which is not necessary. I realize I can walk within equality within this leadership role, and thus lead within practical and logistic points, and stop the mind experience of being more because I realize I am not, we are equal.

I commit myself to become aware of my physical body when I am given a leadership position or responsibility, and do not accept any form of mind experience, breathing through it and writing down what in fact I am looking to do and walk within this newly appointed set of responsibilities or leadership position.

I commit myself to stop the desire when it arises of being seen as more special or believing myself to be more special because I was chosen to be a leader.

I commit myself to when I see I am engaging in this belief of being and desiring to be seen as more special, I breath, and walk the point of realizing that we are equal, I am not special this is a mind delusion I have created to make me lose focus and not stay in the physical.

I commit myself to stop the anger and resentment of energy emotions when they arise when I don’t receive the leadership position and another does.

When and as I see myself go into a point of judgment of superior/inferior based on who I see as the leader within my reality and those who are not, I stop and breath, and realize that this is really sabotaging my own self standing with others and not allowing myself to be able to really see or hear others and what they are saying or living within their world, which I realize create more conflict and confusion when I am herestanding as an example to live equal.

I commit myself to stop this point of judgment of others and walk an equal process of physically moving myself to walk with them in what it is that I can support with as well as here support from others.

I commit myself to stop my definition of myself from outside sources by embracing me in these moments and realizing what I am able to accept of myself and walk in correction to thus stand stable and equal with life rather then be in comparison with it.

I commit to accept myself and walk the process of becoming self perfected in my life where there is no gauge by external forces but that which I live and assess in self honesty due to my own self awareness in how I live.

I commit myself to stop and investigate all points in my mind when I go into a comparison and stop the participation to others and walk the solution by treating others as I would want to be treated.

I commit to walk a process of humbleness by standing as an equal with another and walking the point of unconditional support regardless of who or what they are, I walk in equality.

For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to LIfe
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki

Day 240 – Leadership and the Mean Character

For further reference on the mean character, please read these following blogs:

Day 237 – Walking with Others – Why People see me ...
Day 238 – Mean Character – Militant Biatch
Day 239 - Mean Character - Self Commitments

I find within this point of responsibility I put myself in of leadership, I will become very rigid and strict inseeing that things get to a point where we will be able to accomplish our goals, I find within observing myself within this scenario of being responsible for others and the goal set us for us to do, is that I will go into fearand anxiety that I will fail and in turn be seen as not able to lead by those I deem as higher in authority to me, and thus not able to handle my responsibilities and be seen as someone who is not capable in what once wasthought that I could do.

I have a very hard time with this being demoted essentially as this kills my ego in my sense of self as the one that can handle all things, that can do it all, and that can become the leader that I am seen to be able to be. I will then become this mean person where I will direct others and not be self honest within the way and how I am conducting myself to get the goals met, this by force on others through words rather then being equal with others and allowing them to lead themselves essentially with the support and tools that I put in place to make it work for all.

I will be doing self forgiveness on this fear of being seen incapable when I am put in a leadership position and thus won’t allow myself to fail or others, and become mean when this is this case.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself within the idea that I must be capable and follow through in all responsibilities I take on especially those given to me by others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as special or chosen within this point of another giving my leadership or responsibility within a project or point that we are working on, and thus allow this to go to my head and think then that I am better then others rather then see it as a point where I have potential for making the project work strictly within what it is that was assigned to me or simply because I am the best person with the right skill set for the job.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to others within those who are in leadership positions and me as well, and see and gauge where it is that I am seen among the group or am placed to thus define myself within this perceived ranking I have made up in my mind and then thus define myself by this and treat others in a superior/inferior stance in relation to how I have defined myself.

I forgive myself that I will then within this perceived rank I have created for myself as either more or less then others will go and treat those I perceive as less then me within a strictness and forcefulness to get the work done correctly, and those I perceive as superior to me in a way that is kind and honoring them for them to see me in a high regard.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise my self and how I live towards others based on my mind and an idea that I am some how more or less based on a point of position I was asked to do or not do, and thus see myself within this view of better or worse related to others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself based on others seeing me capable or not and thus define myself based on the actions of others who are in leadership positions for me to see where I stand.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise my own self integrity to the ego of myself in desiring to be more and seen as more from those who are seen within high status in my circles or where I am at, and thus desire their approval so then I can be satisfied with myself because I have the approval who those who are at the top.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise my own self integrity to those who are not in a leadership position and thus become this person who is more then them by being demanding and mean within my behavior and words for them to do something that I expect them to do in perfection, where in I do not do this to myself and expect the same for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself within my actions due to this desire to be seen as special by those I see as more then me and thus abuse those within those I see as less then me based solely on the fact that I am defining who I am by others, and thus am determined and living from theacceptance of those around me and becoming a demon in the making because I am not seeing what I am doing as the meanness that I am living towards others, but jst seeing my desire to be seen by those that I want to impress as more and good at what I do, when in reality I am not good as in treating all as good and working towards a solution, but being good by forcing the results through strictness within my words.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use force in words toward others to make them do what I want instead of walking the process of correction within what it is in the process with another that is not working, walking patience’s and gentleness as how I would want for myself.

Self commitments to follow.

For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to LIfe
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki

Day 239 - Mean Character - Self Commitments

When and as I go into a point of passive aggressiveness towards others in my words or mannerism, I breath and stop, and realize that within this way of living towards others I will create consequence of abuse and conflict as I am not considering others as equal but really in self interest to have it my way rather then coming to a solution that is best for the group.

I commit myself to when I see I go into this point of being passively aggressive towards another I breath, and do not speak or get some space and investigate the point of my reaction and correct it before I engage in the point again.

I commit myself to move through the desire to have it my way or no way, by implementing and pushing solutions that will work for all and have clear direction and consequence so all points are understood.

When and as I see I am going to backchat about the patterns of thought of blame from another, I stop and breath, as I realize this is not acceptable or real as it’s a point that I am using within my mind to make me right and the other wrong within only terms that benefit me and are based on my own perception not fact.

I commit myself to stop my backchat and internal conversations whenever they come up by realizing that this is not based on fact and thus realize it is only a point to serve myself, I use the physical to help stabilize myself in what is real, and not allow this to accumulate within me.

I commit myself to move the energy of anger and irritation through me by grounding it into the earth through my body, and not allow it to direct me through breathing and investigate why it is occurring and correct it through self forgiveness and self commitments.

I commit myself to stop all forms of aggression towards other and practice putting myself in their shoes and becoming humble to walk the solution that is equal and ends my self interest as ego.

I commit myself to clearly state the expectations of a project and clearly state and give time to integrate and ask questions and adapt to procedure before consequences is put in place, and thus I commit to walk the consequence within a understood term in what is known and not base it off my emotion and experiences in moments of energy bursts.

I commit myself to stop assumptions and stop walking within and as my mind, and move to the physical, walk fact, and walk what it is that is here and can be developed within all through collaboration and cross referencing.

I commit myself to accept others as myself and become a support for betterment of others in self honest assessment in what will be best for the group.

J commit myself to go the pace of the group and the physical and breath through the desire to move fast.

For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to LIfe
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki - See more at: http://garbrielleslifejourney.blogspot.com/#sthash.2MeoYWZ9.dpuf

Day 238 – Mean Character – Militant Biatch

“I become very militant within where I see that a point needs to be corrected I have found, and have a hard time putting myself in the shoes of others in these types of scenarios to see how to direct people without causing a reaction within them as well as being self honest within what reactions are going on within me.”

For reference of the above post, please see this blog.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that becoming militant with others will create an atmosphere of tension and resistances as I am using words and my physical mannerism with passive force and aggression to get my point across.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to realize that when I am passively forceful with others and aggressive within my manners and words this will create a reaction of equal force and resistance due to the nature of the words being sounded within conflict rather then equality of understanding of who we are as equals.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an atmosphere of conflict based on allowing the anger and irritation within me accumulate through my body in the backchat that is activating this anger and irritation of others in my world who don’t support what I expect to be done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto an expectation of how something should be done based on the backchat in my head that is saying I am the only one who is trying to solve theses issues.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I let my backchat continue within my mind of thoughts of separation, I will eventually live them out as this emotions and feelings and reactions are the outlets for these built up and accumulated energies being created through the continued perception within the backchat.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in anger and irritation towards another in blame with out clearly stating my expectations and what it is that the other is causing me to be in such a reaction, and rather outburst on them with no context as to why and with no understanding of what is expected of them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a point of miscommunication and thus abuse within my actions and words towards others as mean and superior based on this belief that I am right and justified to act the way I do, when in reality I was not self honest and clear within my actions towards other in giving equal opportunity for understanding and discussions for solutions we all agree on.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow assumption within my head without allowing others the decency to realize the points that are being created by my actions towards them, and giving them the chance to integrate it and implement it in the pace and ability they are able to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become intolerable towards others based on my desire for things to move fast and be done instantly, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the real harm and abuse I am causing towards others who are not able to communicate with me these issues due to fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become intolerable to others pace of work and speed of them doing things, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize and thus live that all move at their own speed and pace, and in self honesty I must give all a chance to learn through support as I would want for myself and in project that I don’t have an understanding for.

For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to LIfe
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki - See more at: http://garbrielleslifejourney.blogspot.com/#sthash.Cdve85qB.dpuf

For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to LIfe
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki - See more at: http://garbrielleslifejourney.blogspot.com/#sthash.Cdve85qB.dpuf

For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to LIfe
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki - See more at: http://garbrielleslifejourney.blogspot.com/#sthash.Cdve85qB.dpuf

For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to LIfe
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki - See more at: http://garbrielleslifejourney.blogspot.com/#sthash.Cdve85qB.dpuf

For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to LIfe
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki - See more at: http://garbrielleslifejourney.blogspot.com/#sthash.Cdve85qB.dpuf

For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to LIfe
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki - See more at: http://garbrielleslifejourney.blogspot.com/#sthash.Cdve85qB.dpuf

Day 237 – Walking with Others – Why People see me as Mean?

I had someone tell me today that I am mean, for context, I was directing points that were misaligned and needed to be corrected, within the setting I am in, I am not the top authority in terms of hierarchy, and so people resist me telling them what to do and how to do things. I don’t see it like this in that I am telling people what to do or how to do things, but making sure what I am seeing as not working doesn’t continue in the way it does to cause further consequence. I don’t look at it within personal terms, but more business terms, in what our as the objectives are the priorities we are setting ourselves to complete, so our job is complete, I more look at walking principles within all I do of equality and oneness with all, but here obviously I was not walking this. I become very militant within where I see that a point needs to be corrected I have found, and have a hard time putting myself in the shoes of others in these types of scenarios to see how to direct people without causing a reaction within them as well as being self honest within what reactions are going on within me.

I find it’s very easy for others if they are not motivated or don’t want to do something, in terms of ‘annoying’ task that are not enjoyable but necessary, can easily fall off the wagon so to speak, and not complete what is necessary to be completed if someone is not over them and showing them that there will be consequence if it’s not done. Consequence is the motivator, but if there is none in terms of direct in your face consequence, people easily ignore and will go more towards the easy way or self-interest. I myself realize this because I do it as well, but I also have realized within the position I held, how important it is to be on top of things and make sure that my responsibilities are upheld because if this falls it effect every other part of the chain of responsibilities needed to create the end result that is needed for our livelihood in this case. So it's a balance of being direct and getting things done and accomplished, and also doing what is best for all, considering others, and walking with rather then forcing others to get the results that is needed.

Back to my interactions with others, I am seeing how I am easily going into backchat and irritation of others based on the belief that they are not doing what they are suppose to, they are not living to their fullest potential, and I am. I find I easily will dog another but give the luxury to myself to be more gentle, I find I have this tendency to justify this behavior of harshness with others is based on the fact that within myself I have a sense of being able to get everything I need done as well as doing it to achieve others expectation in that which I am ‘good’ at. I become energized by this ‘skill’ of mine and thus use it against others as a big egotistical person, and use anger and irritation to direct me through discussions at times and disagreements. I always in my mind have this desire to prove I am right, because of course I am right, I am still not hearing others, and see myself as more skilled and better able to do most things over other human beings.

My problem is that I am not humble and I am not slowing myself down, I am moving within the speed of the mind, thus showing that I am living within my mind not the physical within my breathing awareness, and thus I react and follow my thoughts and feelings/emotions within the life situations I am in rather then being my own directive principles and standing as an equal with others, actually hearing them and treated them with the respect that I treat myself with, and allowing others to learn and come to their own conclusions, not be theboss or have the answers, but help others to learn to be the boss of themselves and their own living and find their way to the answers that will serve all. Being a support for life not a detriment as an abusive rigid egotistical person that people don’t want to be around, hardly the person that is standing for life in oneness and equality and living the message of Jesus. I would like to be here among life with others as a support in symbiosis rather then corrosion, so I will walk self forgiveness on points I see I am still missing, and live the correction.




Thanks.


For Further Support, Please check out Links:
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to LIfe
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki