Day 171 - Resistance to Change – Part 2 – Fear of No Money – Self Commitment Statements

I commit myself to when and as I go into fear about not being able to survive or have money, I stop and breath, and focus on the practical steps I am taking to get stable, and thus continue to walk these practical steps to ensure that I give myself the best opportunity to support myself and walk in the system to become stable.

I commit myself to when and as I go into fear of not being able to make it, I breath and say stop, and then stop participating in the pictures and thoughts that have me failing. I breathe and focus on my physical action, continuing to push stopping participating in the energy as the mind as thoughts and pictures.

I commit myself to walk the practical steps necessary within the system to ensure that I am stable and able to make a difference in this system by being part of the system, but here breathing stable within myself through continuing to walk my process of stopping the mind.

I commit myself to let go of the pictures of me on the street and not making it, by breathing through and not participating in them, focusing on the physical and what I am doing physically practically to support myself. I commit myself to not accept myself to go into hopelessness as this is not real and is a distraction to get to the point were I realize I will be stable and be able to support myself in the system through steps in the physical.

I commit myself to when and if I see myself going into a depressive state where I am resisting doing my responsibilities, I stop breath and do not accept this state, realizing that this is only the mind acceptance I am existing in, and I can remain in the physical through breath, walking the physical steps, breath by breath, one step at a time, until I accumulate myself into a stable point.

I commit myself to not accept myself to exist within self interest, by staying focused on the principles of what is here and what will create a better world for all, and that is the equality of all and that I will only benefit if all are able to benefit , realizing that self interest is one of the main sources for the way the world is now in suffering, so I don’t accept within myself, and only focus and live what is best for all.

I commit myself to walk the message and spreading the message of the equal money system where all will be able to live and thus educate others as well as continuing to educate myself on the reasons and purposes behind why the equal money system is best and how it will practically create a better world for all, so pushing to expand myself in this always, and educate others about this and the desteni process of self perfection as best I can, stopping the judgment of myself, and walking the physical practical reality of the problems and the solutions, so people see and realize there is another way for humanity through taking self responsibility and living the change, this through me being an example, so I push myself to be a proper and accurate example of this.

#changetheworld, abused animals, demon possession, desire, desteni, evil behavior, evil spirits, i am possessed, I think i am evil, journeytolife, mind illusions, spitefulness, abuser, I abuse others, stop abuse, death, positive light, love, good feelings

Day 167 – Spitefulness is Nasty – Self Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into spitefulness when I find that I am desiring to be seen in a particular way and when I find that my reality or the people in my reality are not aligning with my desire to be seen in this specific way as special, better, more, I will go into reaction as spitefulness as I have perceived this as a personal attack and thus feel invalidated. I realize that within and as this point of desire to be seen in a certain way, I will use spitefulness to get my self-interest met with any means necessary to thus fulfill this desire of being perceived by others as the best..

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to thus within this desire to be seen within a positive in validation through others participation with me, I will activate spitefulness when I am not receiving the positive outcome from the other through my perception of how they are interacting with me. I realize that when I go into perceiving how others areseeing me or thinking about me, I am in this moment devaluing myself and my power in the physical, based on going into separation and desiring to be seen within a specific outcome, and then going into a deeper dimension by getting spiteful if I am not perceived in the way I desire, which I will act out in being nasty towards the other for no reason but my own self interest of not being validated.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to base myself and my living on the perception of how others are thinking about me and thus go into abuse and harm as spitefulness when I am perceiving within myself that I am not being seen in a positive way by the other, and thus I will not get my positive feeling from them, and thus based on this not getting my positive feelings I will be spiteful because I desire that and will go into deliberate revenge to get back at that being I have blamed for this perception I made that I will not be getting my positive feeling from them. I realize the unacceptable nature of this pattern where I create dimensions in my head that are not real or based on no facts, but done within self interest because I will not be able to generate positive feelings from the other because they are not validating me and thus will go into the deliberate action of abuse because I didn’t get what I wanted, I didn’t get my energy fix, and thus because I have not accepted myself here fully, I am devaluing myself as well as the life I am living for the mind, for ego, for a ‘fleeting’ feelings of feeling good.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only exist within my self interest in only caring about my self feeling good or feeling validated because I am not giving this to myself, I am not accepting myself and thus putting this responsibility on others when I won’t even give this to myself and thus within my world I will create a war with others just based on this fact that I don’t accept myself and I seek others to make me feel good. I realize that I have to let go of this point of self interest of wanting to be seen within a specific way as ‘good’ or ‘special’ or ‘admired’ because I am separating myself from that which is not this and thus believing that these polarities points are who I am, so thus I create the conflictand friction in my own world by participating in this desire to be more and being spiteful when I don’t get what I desire and thus blaming it on the external when it has to do with the internal and not accepting myself here.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted myself here in humbleness in the realization that I am life and I am here within the opportunity to become life again, and thus deliberately being abusive and spiteful because I want a specific outcome or a specific reaction from another so I can have good feelings for myself. I realize I will never be life because I am not life in such abusive ways of being as spiteful, which cause me to be an abuser as I am only existing within what I can get and what I want never considering the other as myself in anyway whatsoever. So until I decide to stop this separation within my own self interest of this desire to be more then who I am here and be ok with that, and stop the resistance, I will never be free but always a slave to my mind because I am existing as the mind, as a parasite, as a abuser of what is here and what is real, life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to spite life and abuse life for my own gain within feeling good within myself, I realize that this is an addiction to energy movement, and thus I commit myself to stop this point ofaddiction to feelings as energy, and walk the correction as living from the physical, living from breathing, and stopping my participation in energy as emotions, feelings, thoughts, reactions, any separation from what is here as myself as life. I commit to walk each moment in acceptance, until I am here and moved by nothing but my own awareness in directive will as what is best for all.

Self Commitments to Follow. Thanks for reading.


Interview Support:

Reptilians – When Energy stops and Substance/Physicality Remains – Part 60

Reptilians – From Energy Experience to Energy to Substance/Physicality – Part 61


For Further Support, Please check out Links:

Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to LIfe
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki

#changetheworld, abused animals, demon possession, desire, desteni, evil behavior, evil spirits, i am possessed, I think i am evil, journeytolife, mind illusions, spitefulness, abuser, I abuse others, stop abuse, death, positive light, love, good feelings

Day 166 - Spitefulness is Nasty

Here looking at the point of being spiteful, I find this point arises when I have been in a point of negative experience, and then I will seek out a point of validation to bring me back to the positive, and so I use spite to fuel this point of validation to be nasty to another because within myself I am taking it personally to whatever created the negative polarity I am blaming this other for, and thus then desire to go back into the good feelings/the positive to feel ok again. This is not acceptable as it’s not taking self responsibility for my actions, and so I use spite to hide the fact that I am not facing myself and thus using others as deflection points from really seeing who I am.

For instance, when I was working on the painting of the house, and someone came to me and said ‘no that is not the right way to paint as it’ll cause cracking, this is how I usually do it”, not in any point of blame or devaluing me, but simply directing me on how it should be done properly. Within myself, I took this personally, such as having the thought, “this person is trying to tell me what to do, thinking I am some dumb idiot that doesn’t know how to paint a house, I mean, come on this person is a real asshole.” From this point on throughout my day, I would go into the competition point to all those people that I saw I had an irritation towards, based on taking this painting incident personally, this irritation point activated and my spitefulness desire was there to get revenge because my ‘ego’ was being attacked with another trying to tell me what to do. I was not being seen and or validated within my desires to be seen in perfection or the best in the group as I was told how to do something, and so I wanted control back and allowed irritation to direct me because I wasn’t getting my own way.

But behind this what is really fueling this spitefulness is inferiority, and needing this point of acceptance from others and desiring to be seen in this specific way because I want a certain outcome, I want control of what I am doing, so I use spite to get back at the point that I reacted to, so I can bring myself back to this positive feeling within myself again. Also, within me though there is this point of self judgment, that I am not good enough and so I have to get this acceptance from my external world for this to be validated, and when I am not given this feedback, spitefulness is what I use to get back at that which that didn’t give me the feedback I desired to make me feel good again. So interesting this is really based on my addiction to positive feeling, energy, within the mind, disregarded the physical reality and the physical beings I am abusing and causing harm to.

This thought of calling them an asshole, creates within my whole reality a starting point of revenge based on feeling like I have been wronged, and thus will then effect each interaction I had with that specific being until I corrected the point through self correction by speaking self forgiveness in releasing the point by realizing what I have done in a calm and stable platform, because when I hold it in and do not release it, it accumulates and get’s released as an emotion as spite, anger, irritation, and vengefulness. Within my world, these emotions direct me all day long because I am holding onto this spiteful desire to get back at someone, so it will go to however is in my world that caused the slightest bit of irritation.  For instance, I was rude to a girl who was simply just chatting with me, I also yelled at an animal because I lost my patience, which cause the abuse and dysfunction during the day that is not necessary, based on not being in reality, but in an alternate world in my head, if I stop my mind as this alternate reality from directing me then I stop the abuse and spitefulness I am existing within, it’s based on illusions as thoughts and emotions, in the physical everything is here and everything can be sorted in what is best for all in equality and oneness. But I allow this point of spitefulness because I myself desire to abuse others, what does that make me, the evil that exist in this world, am I EviL and how to stop this to change to really LivE. The path is here, I must walk it and change, this through self forgiveness and self corrective change.

More to follow in my next blog.

Day 106 – Jealousy Character

When looking at the relationships I have towards others, one I tend to go into is the jealousy character, where in a go into a point of spitefulness towards another due to this belief that I can’t have or am not as good as another. Using the Jealousy character to diminish the other beings in my mind, but within reality being nice and pleasant to their face. Obviously, this is a dishonorable way of living, and thus I apply myself within self-forgiveness to stop this character from directing me, and be able to walk as equals with all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the jealousy character within a point of reaction towards my feelings I had towards another where in I made a decision that I can not be as expressive as this being, and thus feeling less then, so thus I feel uncomfortable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a point of inferiority towards another being based on defining myself by another’s expression in a moment, and thus seeing myself lacking, where in I am not taking in the full context nor considering the whole being as the other and myself within the decision I made that I am inferior, and thus decide based on a single momentary assessment of another that I am inferior.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make decisions and thus trust feelings within myself as uncomfortableness and feeling less then instead of investigating the starting point to why I am reacting to a being expressing themselves in life in such a way as I realize feelings as reactions are not real as they come form the dimension of the mind which is illusion, and thus base myself and others on the feelings I have towards them and myself which are not real rather not practical nor conducive to create a decision about myself or another on these illusionary feelings such as feeling uncomfortable and less then, but rather investigate the origin and sort it out through writing out and living the corrections.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as inferior to this being who I created a jealousy towards based on seeing that I am not a being who can freely express and thus using the jealousy CHARACTER to justify myself to go into my mind and create a point of diminishing her because I believe that I can not be this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can’t be expressive and free within who I am based on holding onto the past, and thus through understanding this origin point as my past, I realize and see that I must walk through the memories that created such a belief of can’t be expressive and openly free.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a character in my head as jealousy and thus use this character to abuse the other whom I superiorized to me, and diminish with such words as ‘they are ugly’ ‘they have family issues’ ‘they can’t get a boyfriend’ points where I find what their ‘weaknesses’ are and use that as ammo for my myself as my mind to make me superior again within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself in my mind to make myself superior to others I have judged myself less then by using nasty and degrading thoughts within my mind to make myself feel better because within myself I have created myself as a weak person and thus I can not be helped.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use separation and abuse of others to make myself feel better.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse of others in my mind and thus am to cowardly to say these points to their face as I would fear losing them as a friend, but is this real friendship, no as this is a lie, a lie that I only can see and know about, but a lie none the less that is creating separation within myself towards all life, and unnecessary conflict within myself towards other beings just being and walking their own processes, while I gain nice feelings because I became superior again within my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach memories to others where in I see someone who is more expressive then me, then I immediately think back in school of how I was not able to express myself with others freely due to being shy and fearful of ridicule, and thus when I see a being who is openly expressive I attach this memory to them and thus allow the jealousy of me not being able to do that direct me to abuse and degrade in the mind towards the expression I would like to be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed an emotion as unworthiness as depression when I see a being that is more expressive then me and thus immediately go into a heavy feeling where in I slump and have a hard time just being here, and thus blame this depression point on the being whom I am seeing and thus judging as being more then me because they are able to express more openly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use emotions and memories to create a judgment of a being simply expressing in the physical as the physical in what way they are, and thus go into self judgment because I have not let go of this depression of being shy and not able to express myself in class and fear facing this and taking responsibility for myself as this jealousy character and stopping it and changing it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame any being based on my own irresponsibility and desires, and thus go into my mind and degrade them for points that I don’t face as myself this fear of expressing and being open with others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed this memory of me at school not being able to express myself with others due to fear of ridicule or screwing up direct me and still have power over me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame any being for the way I am creating myself and thus not taking responsibility for my own actions and decisions and thoughts as memories within my own mind and thus become degrading and abusive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the jealousy of another direct me when I realize this is a point that I don’t want to walk through and face as I am accepting and allowing fear of others ridicule to direct me and thus abusing others because I am being in fear thus causing deliberate abuse which is unacceptable.

Self Correction to Follow


Featured Artist: Malin Olofsson
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Support of EQAFE Interviews in Relation to Jealousy:
Reptilians - Relationships as Illusion of Control - Part 24
Earthonites - Jealousy - (Music)


For Further Support, Please check out Links:

Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to LIfe
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki

jealousy, not good, competition, separation, creating enemies, losing power, depression, being nasty towards another, character, acting, bully, ridicule, desteni, equal life, eqafe, journeytolife, 2012

Day 74- Being a Women

Looking at this point for myself where I have identified myself as a Women.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to identify myself as a women and within this identification bring up a picture in my head of a picture of my mom whom I compare myself to as a women. I realize and see that to be a women is not to be a picture of a mother figure as that is not all that I am as a women.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to identify the women in this world only by care taking and having children where they are needed to perform this task and thus need to dedicate their lives to raise kids and take care of the families. I realize and see that women in this world are not exclusively the care takers of the children and realize thus it takes a village to raise a child meaning that all beings within the vicinity of children and in children's day to day living should take responsibility to care and 'guide' the child equal and one to how I would have wanted to be cared and guided during that age and thus regardless of who bore the child it is all life's responsibility to take care of the young and guide them to life in equality and oneness with other life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself define women to only being in the house with the family while the male works to bring in the finances as if this is the only way of living here and thus I have accepted this as who we are as I allow it to continue to exist in this world. I realize and see within equality as principle of life within our system of living there can be created a more equilibrium between child bearing and not compromising the life of the women's expression nor the child's expression, where life will be supported in all facets of the child and women's life and thus the best opportunity for all to be free and also be cared for is sustainable in a system that treats life in equality. Within realizing this point it is for me as a human being to support all life here in ways where life in equality for all can be established by supporting all life in the process of walking and implementing an equal money system.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to within defining myself as a women within an idea in my head of what I shall expect myself as a women in this world to be seen as someone who needs to take care of children and be the keeper of the house while a man takes care of all the finances leaving the women in a trap of dependency on a male when this can be taken advantage of and abused by the male. I realize and see that giving the man the power to have all access to finances is not standing equal within the partnership as the children should not be wholey based on the female raising the child but should be done in equality within both parents, and thus within this both stand within bringing finances into the house and taking care of the children until equality is reached as otherwise the financial point can cause abuse for many beings and thus cause the female to be abused in many ways sexually, verbally, and physically.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to within defining myself as a female have an idea that I can use this point of being female as a way to getting out of having to stand equal and one to the male and thus become the submissive, fragile point within the partnership where I can use childbearing as an excuse not to push myself within my expression and submit to the life of a taking care of the kids and thus live off of the mans earnings. I realize and see within giving my power away in this instance where I do it willingly as I am not willing to stand equal to the man in this world system in walking the point to stand in all having opportunity for equal expression, thus I will have to stop submitting to the easy way out 'so to speak' and stand equal to the male as the male will stand equal to the female in raising children.

I commit myself to create myself within a way in my partnerships where I am an equal participant and don't use any point to take advantage were I desire to have an easier time or allow myself to be abused, but walk one and equal with the man in whatever I desire in my expression but not submitting to the mind as only ideas of only being a mother or a housewife as labels that this is all I can be once I get married and have a child.

I commit myself to stop the abuse within myself as my partnership where I stand equal and one to making the finances work within the relationship where I share the responsibilities as I also walk with my partner to help share the responsibilities of the care and guidance of the children and stop the roles of 'mothers do this' and 'fathers do that', but I walk as equals with all in in all parts of my world.

I commit to creating a equal money system so thus all can stand equal in fact in all areas of life, where all are able and have the freedom to walk in equilibrium with all within their world, and no restrictions are here in terms of money strain or lack of education, but all stand and walk the path to become equal and one with all life in this world which the equal money system will facilitate and guarantee if all will themselves to see and live the truth of the principles of this system which is living equal and one to all life as self.



motherly care, childbearing, child care, marriage conflicts, partnership, equality, equal money, desteni, journeytolife, blogs

Day 66- Walking the Physical: The Face

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to judge my facial structure were I see my jaws being to big. I realize and see that the structure of the face is based on the dna design from the physicals of my parents and thus is a physical consequence of this and something that allows my face to have form and my body to breath air to live.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge my mouth as big and my lower lip as too much hanging out. I realize and understand this judgment is based on a desire for a certain outcome. Here I see and understand the mouth is for the processing of food and grinding it down to nourish my human physical body and to communicate with life as life thus I stop the desire for a certain outcome as that is diminishing  my capability to live in equality with my physical as I am separating myself into an experience for my own self interest while the physical suffer with limitation.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge my ears as too small as I overheard someone saying that people with small ears were born with a deformity or not fully developed so I always judged myself as incomplete and not someone who is at full capacity which I resented my mom for. I see and realize that this rumor was just that a rumor as I can hear fine out of my ears and I am able to hear and understand the direction of life and thus am grateful to be able to hear out of my hears so I can function and live in this world through hearing and understanding.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge my nose as too big as I desire to have a small and straight nose as I have seen my sister have and always desired to have a nose like that. I realize and see that judging nose and desiring a certain nose type is chasing a feeling of experience to get what I desire within and as my own happiness where I can use my face in such a way to attract a man and be happy within being with the man of my dreams. I realize and see that this is all made up bullshit as it is not manifesting any point of support for myself or life here but feeding the mind as desires and keeping me distracted into desires, diminishing myself by judging my physical when my physical has always been here in support unconditionally supporting me here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge my eyes and ugly and not normal looking where I have created such a picture in my mind I have attached the eyes with experience from the past where I was teased and thus blaming my eyes for the pain I felt in that moment. Not realize and seeing that I myself am the one who created the experience of being made fun of as I existed as such equal and one to others where I was the abuser and abuse life to make myself feel good/better then others. I realize and see that judging and blame the physical doesn't make sense and thus diminish me into a lesser version of myself then I have in the potential of who I can be in equality. Thus I commit myself to stand eyes realizing that they are here in unconditional support to help me see the world around me and be able to live and giving me the opportunity to birth myself as life. I stop judging the physical face as it is equal and one to me and here as physical practical purposes to live and allow life to live.

I commit myself to stop judging my eyes, mouth, lips, ears, nose and myself based on desires and ideas, I let go of all ideas and desires I hold to be more and walk as breath to equalize myself with life.

I commit myself to walk as breath in practical common sense with my physical face as well as body and take care of it and nourish it so it can function at its optimal potential and it can live and express here.

I commit to understand and walk with my physical to walk through the indications of pain and release them to thus walk through the systems causing the pain and bring life as the physical in alignment with the physical equal and one and stop the suffering of the physical forevermore.

Day 56- There's not Enough Time in the Day

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within this point of time and defining myself by time. I realize and see that time is not a definer and a holder of who I am, thus I can use time as a placement for movement in my life but not as a definer of who I am and what I am capable of.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that there is not enough time to get all my tasks done within my life and thus I go into anxiety based on this belief I hold that I will miss something. I see and realize that time is irrelevant in the sense of having enough or not, but it is all due to my application and responsibility to get the tasks done and complete and make enough space and time to get these tasks done so I do not go into fear.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into anxiety and fear when I realize I have not calculated my time management effectively and thus am not able to complete all the tasks I set out in front of me thus instead of correcting this point I go into these points of suppression and self diminishment. I realize and see that the effectiveness and stress reliever is due to me balancing myself and pushing myself to make time for everything, don't allow resistance and distractions to cause delay, but walk what needs to be walked in a balanced manner so all tasks are completed when due.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into anxiety and stress and then blame others for myself being ineffective in getting my tasks done and seeing that I am not able to do it so thus to let off steam I blame others and try to make it there faults so I don't have to face the point that I screwed up. I realize and see here that I am only using blame to hide from the fact that I didn't do what I was intended to do and due to ego and trying to look good for others I go into blame to try and push blame onto others when I realize it is my own self irresponsibility.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to blame and place fault on others when I realize and see that it is my own doing and my self irresponsibility in not managing my time effectively and getting everything done when due.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into ego and try and make others look worse then me by blaming and pointing fingers when I am the one and realize this that I am the one who did not walk what needed to be walked and caused the tasks to be done not on time. I realize and see that ego is not necessary and only diminish me as it's showing that I am abusing life for my own gain and separating myself from others so I can be better because I had known I had not done what I was suppose to.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be irresponsible with the tasks in front of me instead of walking patience's and self perfection within my living not allowing resistances or distractions side track me from getting what is necessary done. So I realize and understand that I must walk the correction by stopping the resistances and distractions by walking a balanced task schedule and making time and space to get all my work done that is needed to be done.

I commit to walk my responsibilities to completion when they are due by setting a balance schedule in front of me and allotting enough time per day to get tasks done in a timely manner.

I commit to stop resistances and distractions and walk my responsibilities best for all as I would wan them done for me.

I commit to accept myself, walk patience with myself, and walk the perfection in living by walking in breath and slowing myself down.



time, time management, not enough time, tasks overdue, working effectively, equality, equal life, equal money, eqafe, desteni, 2012, journeytolife,