Tuesday, March 12, 2019

Self Forgiveness (Day 2): The Beginning of Self Deprecation - Ego and My Consequence - Day 580


Art By: Andrew Gable

Yesterday I opened up the programming that I see I have been living out as like a base programming of who I have become in this reality, a being who has self deprecated myself meaning I have devalued myself due to specific beliefs, self-judgments, copying behavior such as survival and competition growing up, and becoming a lesser version of myself then I'd like to be and create.

Self forgiveness on childhood memories:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to take on the belief that all humans are evil, flawed, and that I need to fear the very ground I walk on because I don't know who or what'll be around the corner.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become petrified that people were going to break into my house and harm me and my family because of the tv show programming I accepted and allowed to influence who I was within a belief that humans are mostly evil and are out to harm and commit atrocious acts onto each other.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to thus create a belief within myself as a child that i must be inherently evil and not good if i am on this planet living among such fear and petrification of being harmed and not surviving another day.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame the tv and movie programming growing up instead of seeing, realizing, and understanding i was already living such evilness and harm unto myself and others and thus that is how i recognized it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed to physically, mentally, verbally, and non verbally harm others through the acts within my self and my living that were deliberate  harm and spitefulness.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be spiteful and do harm onto others because within myself i was not standing as life and being self responsible, but taking it out on others.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to take on the belief that I am not equal to other humans on this earth, I will always be flawed in one way or another, and thus fear not being able to compete in this world and so access the ability to move about and have what i need to live and enjoy life some.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to thus go into a self insecurity that i am inherently flawed and start to define my physical body in this way, seeing pictures in magazines and on tv shows and movies where the images of people were within a precision perfection and thus I believed because i didn't have such precise perfection within my physical body, i was not equal to these beings who did.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to make the graven image mistake where i have idealized the image as picture on screens and on paper and believe that that is what life is and what life is about, when in reality it is what the system of survival is about, a creation that was created within self and so lived out over time and thus the consequences are lived up to the seventh generation as we separate ourselves from what is here as self to past and future projections of the image that is static.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to integrate and so live out the separation of myself as life within a belief that who i am is based on the pictures that are created as image, the false image in disguise as life as i have allowed this image to trick me into believing that it matters when all the while it is not matter but part of the image-nation which is of illusion, and undirected will run rampant within it's directive which is who we have become as separation from our very selves as life here in breath as this physical reality, I realize thus i must direct this image nation into real unity as life here in this world best for all in breath movement.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to take the graven image as the false self as the image nation of the mind consciousness system as the manifestation of the separation of who i am in matter, which is a graven miss-take i have made in the pursuit of who I would like to create myself to be.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself in all ways create an idea or belief in my mind about what is here without fully understanding, communicating, and getting to know that which i am interacting with within myself and so my world and thus integrating the realization and changing myself as life in what is best in what is best for all.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to take on the belief that i am flawed, evil, and devalued when all the while i was miss-taken into an image nation of my mind consciousness system as a belief that i created that life is not equal and one, but in flux, in polarity, and unbalanced within the outflow of myself as i walk this miss-take into my world until i change it to something best.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to make the imagenation something separate from me and admire it and want to be like it, instead of realizing that it is not of life, but habitual belief that it is real, when it is not of life, but I am in need of guidance, direction, understanding, patience, and consideration as an equal to move back into alignment with what is here as breath as self as the living word in matter itself in what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act out my miss-take by believing that what is real is the separation of the graven image as a false god within the belief that this is what humans are about, this is how life is here on this planet, and so living in matter the abuse and harm of myself first and foremost with judgments of hate and disgust of my own physical body, that which gives me life and has done so each and every breath as self has lived here on this planet unconditionally.

I see, realize, and understand that i have misguided myself through time and space through my mind mechanisms as thinking, emotions, and feelings, and constructs of patterns and personalities that have dominated my life for most of my living on this planet and now I see, realize, and understand that I have developed and so laid a well-founded ground before me to walk upon with the earth as myself as all life, in honor and true self-forgiveness as I give myself back to myself in full self-acceptance, full embrace, honor who I am by caring for myself, accepting myself, forgiving myself for the ills i have created, and walking the process in each moment to align and do what is best for all in self honesty.

I commit myself to release the flow of thoughts in the backchat of harm through breathing and not participating in them and self-forgiveness, directing those thoughts into solutions that will work for all and live the solutions to prove that I god the point and so I live the point into creation.

I commit myself to let go of the fear of the survival system rooted in my being realizing that i have the power to change myself, I work with what is here with no expectations, and become fearless in the face of the only real choice, decision, and truth that exists here, in breath, doing what is best for all, when lived life will fall into place as in make sense and i will be here.

I commit myself to walk this pattern of correcting my backchat and changing the outflows of my physical behavior to be of solution for all and stop the pattern of the survival system flowing out as ego self-righteousness and insecurity within my own body, which is life giving of itself.


Thanks for reading.

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http://www.eqafe.com - Check out the new unlimited subscription plan at Eqafe, it's fantastic!
www.lite.desteniiprocess.com
www.destonians.com
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http://www.earthhaven.org

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