The Inner Child Within Us All - Day 490

Here speaking with my partner on how he has supported me in accessing and embracing the inner child within myself, and how that has come through in my living. Also, there were many perspectives shared by all of us on how to live this inner child in our day to day lives to enjoy life more and make it more fruitful. Please have a listen and enjoy!

Family and Competition – Day 484

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How is it that we become so competitive and driven to survival within this reality? I have been looking at this point recently and have found within most of my interactions there is an underlying experience and desire to be the best and compete. This desire comes in many subtle forms, they are thoughts that go on in the background, not very noticeable or visible, but they are certainly there. They are fueled within self insecurity and judgments. These thoughts I would say are the secret mind thoughts, the thoughts that I wouldn’t want anyone to see or hear, so within this there is an experience of shame and self dishonesty that I am experiencing. Where this leads to feeling inadequate and going into the world to try and make myself better, and to do this I go into competition, where I can be seen as more or better in some way. So the essential point that is moving this participating in the bad emotions such as judgment of myself or others which creates this desire to feel better. But what is this all holding up and keeping in place, shame, judgment, competition, and self dishonesty.

This is obviously not the way to self equality with oneself and one’s environment, so I looked at this point more in depth and realized that this desire to compete and be more has been with me since my childhood, I have always had this drive to compete and be more then. This started with my family and the culture that was created within my childhood years. The circumstances for children coming into this world vary based on income of the family and personal awareness, so there is many outflows we as a society have to take responsibility for and also support, so here I want to walk through some of these scenarios for myself so I can stand and take responsibility for them and stop them from perpetuating in my world and reality. 

To start, I remember going to my first experience of school where I was quite excited to experience all the different toys and games that I saw when I would drop off my sisters. This excitement diminished when I got to the kindergarten classroom, where I was given these tests to find out where I stood within the class and if I was going to be able to get in. I remember being stressed and anxious about the test taking because I had no idea where I stood in relation to it and I feared not being able to get into this cool looking classroom.

Here is one experience of competition and fear of survival that came up in my life and how this effected the whole rest of my schooling years where I associated this building with having to keep score and make the cut, competing with numbers and other children and environments, I mean it is a stressful thing to throw a child into not knowing what to expect and having no real understanding of the reason for the testing and why it is being done, and just expect them to be enjoying themselves and ok with all of it. Children aren’t told anything, they are mostly forced into what it is that is expected of them over traditions and never included in the decision. If children fight back, they are seen as rebellious and handled in a more strict way. This goes into parenting and how parents create a dynamic of master/slave relationship that the child certainly picks up on and becomes defiant in a way toward, which is extended into the system, such as the education system and the way in which is operates. This is from my personal experience of my own childhood and some insight and perspective to support with changing to solutions that will support all and create a better world for all.

I will continue in my next blog, thanks.

More Support on the topics of Parenting and Education:

Parenting - Perfecting the Human Race

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Motherly Care – Becoming Unconditional – Day 406

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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a relationship in my mind with henri within a desire to fulfill my role as a mother taking care of her child.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a relationship with henri where I desire to take care of him within the anticipation that he will give me admiration and affection for the care I give him.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create conditions within our expression in reality based on my self interest and not considering henri as an equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a judgment towards the way in which I see my relationship with my dog as too attached.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for my behavior towards henri instead of realizing that it does not define me as I can see, understand, and realize the change that is necessary to align the relationship with henri as equals is within my will to direct myself in self honesty and common sense.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that when I care for henri he will give me an energetic high of appreciation and affection within his expression of unconditional giving.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use herni’s unconditional giving of himself in his expression as a means for me to gain an energetic high through the creation of the idea I have superimposed onto him that he loves me and see’s me as his favorite.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to superimpose my mind onto reality as my expression towards henri and so create a limited verion of who I am with him based on a need/dependency on him to fulfill this need.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a possessive relationship towards henri based on this desire for the energetic high of affection and so create a  dependency within our living in reality together where I am living from a mind reality of the past as an expectation instead of being here with him in self expression.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an expectation of how reality should be with henri and so limit our expressions within who we can be in each moment to an energetic experience I am desiring and trying to reach and so not being here within what can be created.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become jealous when henri gives his unconditional expression to others and I do not achieve the desired expectation of his affection and admiration.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a relationship of dependency to henri based on accepting and allowing my mind to create expectations of how henri should be towards me and desire a certain outcome limiting the moment of creation that is indeed here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my mind to direct me into possession and dependency towards henri based on my addiction to the energetic high of admiration and affection and so limit the creation process of expression that exist in each here moment as we live together.

When and as I see I am living in a way with henri that is based on an expectation and desire and so become possessive based with how henri should behave towards me, I stop and breath, and realize that this will compromise my expression in physical reality with henri and compromise our relationship together as equals and so realize that the creation process will open up through being truly unconditional in our expressions in breath.

I commit myself to let go of the desire and need how how henri should behave and act towards me.

I commit to see henri within a stand as an equal being in my reality with equal respect and honor as I would want for myself.

I commit myself to unconditional express myself with henri within a common sense assessment of reality and what is needed for our practical living and well being as well as enjoyment.

I commit to put myself in the shoes of others in my physical reality and assess in breath who I would like to be as an equal and so express this an unconditional living.

Eqafe interview support I recommend:
Parenting - Perfecting the Human Race
How to Give Unconditionally in Your Relationship - The Metaphysical Secrets of Imagination - Part 25
Give and Receive - The Soul of Money

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Equal Life Foundation - Site