Day 75- "Sexy Flirt" Character

Here looking at the character I have created as being female and using my sexuality as mannerism to get attention from others especially the opposite sex, this to lure in a man and start the walk to get him in bed and calling him my boyfriend.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to create myself in a way to lure in other males through being sexual in my mannerism and words as in flirting, so I can use them for my own happiness and satisfaction within my self interest and addictions. I realize and see that accepting myself to become a certain character as within being sexual in nature to get another to like me is not real liking as I am not real as I am just putting on an act to get my needs met in the end and thus I see and understand I must stop the fake act as putting on this sexual flirt character to lure in a guy as I realize guys are drawn to the sexual side of women and get tempted easily by this.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to demean the act of sex within using it as a temptation for males to come to me and pay attention to me so I can get my nice feelings by using my body and words in a sexualized way were I know the man can't resist and thus I get an easy access to the man I desire through using sex as a means to get to an end for me. I realize and understand that within this relationship of using myself as a sex object for men I will be seen in such a way as I am demeaning my self respect and the respect of life in the act of playing a character to get sex from flirting and playing into this sexy role. I realize that I must stop this character playout of the sexual flirtatous character and walk equal and one to the man as myself to thus create equalibrium within the communication and direction within what I stand for and what Life is, which is to be honored and respected within all facets, and not used for my own self interest.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to use life in self interest where I comprimise my own self standing by desiring more to have my happiness desires fufilled by being with the man I want and thus using myself as my physical bodies in ways that is not real nor true to who I am as life. I realize and understand to walk the correction I must stop my desires for happiness and thus stop using myself as my body in ways that will not support myself to stand one and equal as others but be seen in a way that is limiting myself and demeaning myself to be just a picture playing a role to get my energy addictions met as nice feelings.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not stand within this world with integrity where I stop all my desires and wants for my own self fufillment through energy by using myself as my physical body in flaunting it and pretending to be a persona that I am not as the sexy flirty girl. I realize that within this I am only trying to gain the feelings to make myself feel good when I realize that this feeling is limited in itself as it only last but a moment and thus has to continually be generated. Where as life I am here and thus need nothing to move me as I am fufilled here within the oneness and equality of all around me as we stand togther as one, and thus no need for characters or being sexy or flirting to get my needs met, but stand here within stability where I need nothing as I have everything.

I commit myself to stop the character of sexy flirt within and as a chase for others and stand here within myself as life and walk this process to be as life one and equal where nothing moves me but my own physical movement as the directive princple of myself.

I commit myself to walk in stopping my desires for men and using my self as my body within playing into a character to lure men in and use them so I can gain good feeling. I will to stop using myself as my phsyical and stand here equal to men as well as all life and walk what is best for all where I stop all desires of myself.

I commit to walk within writing all the characters I see within me that I play out to gain for myself in my own interest so thus I can stand here in equality with all with nothing to gain nor hide but be myself in expression as life.




sex object, sexuality, sex appeal, sexy women, flirt, flirting, boy crazy, characters, play, acting, pretend, living for others, equality, equal money, equal life, desteni, journey to life, 2012

Day 28- Me as Ugly

Walking this point of seeing myself as a ugly and thus what this imply within and as how I conduct myself within and as my living as less then who and what I am capable of being within and as the equality and oneness as myself here as this physical reality and all that reside here. I realize and see that this point of self sabotage of seeing myself as an ugly person is based on judging the word ugly as bad and thus defining others based on my idea of this word and thus sabotaging myself as I am only judging myself and causing abuse in the process.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to see myself as a ugly and thus judge myself as less then other people when I come into contact with them firstly by the way they look.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to see myself within and as my mind as a loser based on my picture presentation being ugly.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge myself as ugly within and as the body picture presentation as if this picture in my mind define me and my projection as an idea of what is supposedly beautiful is not seen based on the picture in my mind and thus seeing the myself less then those who are this 'beautiful picture' I am comparing to in my head.

I forgive myself accepting and allowing myself to go into self interest within only desiring to see my idea of beauty within everything I see as I desire to be seen in this way as well and thus go into separation and judgement of others as if this is who I am and what matter here within this world. I realize and see the human physical body as what it is is a gift for us here to live and thus is functioning within physical considerations and supports and thus is not defined by any idea nor projection of beauty or ugliness coming from the mind, the body is here simply and absolutely one and equal with the physical as what the body consist of.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge life and the human physical body as ugly/beautiful within an idea that this is an either/or point and thus judging others based on a positive or negative charge depending on what  polarity I see them in.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge a being based on the positive charge within liking them or being attracted to them if they 'fit' into this picture I have in my head as a lean muscular athletically attractive looking picture in my head.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to hold a picture within my head as a memory of a lean, athletic, muscular, attractive looking in my mind and thus define life by this picture.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define life based on picture in my mind and thus separate me here from the life being that reside and is one and equal with the human physical body.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to take advantage of the human physical body within and as my self as I see and realize it unconditionally supports me and allows me to live even with all the abuse and mis-treatment I have given it over my lifetime, it is here for me thus I commit to walk in oneness and equality with it as my self to thus stand and be here within support and assistance to all life and to thus support and assist the human physical body as I would want and it does always with me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from my human physical body based on my desire to be perfect for others.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to desire to be perfect for others because I am not seeing nor walking self perfection within and as my living but trying to attain it through my mind which is impossible because the mind is generated by illusion and polarities of positive/negative thus always causing friction within and as self to generate energy to stay alive. The mind is energy generating for and as itself as who we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be so thus it can stay alive as we do as we have come to believe that we are our minds only.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am only my mind here thus missing me here as living within and as myself in each breath as life in what is real as this physical reality.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to walk within and as desires in the mind of trying to live for others instead of remaining here and living here within and as myself coming to practical solutions for this world stopping the self interest of myself to gain good feelings from others as praise and compliments.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to desire to be complimented from others to give proof and evidence of who I am as I am seeking for this approval from others as I don't see it within myself as I see myself as less then and thus define me as ugly as this being a bad thing.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to seek approval from others in my world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting to give the word ugly a negative charge and thus see others and myself within and as my world as being ugly and thus judging this as less then those I see as beautiful.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to give the word beautiful a positive charge and thus judge others and myself within my world as more then this based on the idea I have formed as beauty as a picture in my head.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define life by pictures in my mind and thus define and limit myself as this physical existence to the mind as illusion as ideas thru pictures. I realize this is not real and thus I stop this and walk as the physical equal and one as who I am.

When and as this point comes up to judge my physical or any other life here within the polarity of ugly/beauty, I stop, breath, and say "I am here and I am physical life one and equal with all beings" stopping all thoughts, ideas, pictures within and as myself by letting them go, and live here within and as physical practical movements until I am no more moved by polarities or mind ideas.

I commit to walk as life in the physical and stop defining myself within and as pictures and ideas of polarities as beauty/ugly and positive/negative.

I commit to stop the pictures in my head as memories of past and live here within and as breath to let go of this energy.

I commit to stop taking the physical human body for granted and walk in support and assistance one and equal with it, so thus we can align together and live in peace as this world as myself as this physical existence.