A Lady's Journey to Life: Moving Beyond Limitations – Talking to Strangers

So this past week I was in a situation where I was forced to push through my limitations, this for all intense and purposes is a very cool experience and one I welcome as it births growth of self. This experience I was having to directly speak to people I had never seen or spoken to before about a business venture that I am currently pursuing. For me speaking to people face to face has always been something I avoided especially people I did not know. I experience within myself anxiety, fears, and also memories of being embarrassed in the past of moments where it didn’t go as expected. So as I approached this event, my mind started to bring up these very familiar emotions along with the thoughts and memories of failure and dread and what ifs, so this all comes up as the event draws closer. In the past, I would always find distractions or simply would not put myself out there because at that time I had no tools to support me to move beyond these very intense and uncomfortable emotional experiences going on inside of me, I just allowed these thoughts and emotions to overwhelm me. When I did face these situations of having to speak and direct conversations into a specific way, I would get overwhelmed and allow the experience to overwhelm me and perform less then ideally, where I would never go beyond my limitations, but inevitably compromise my true potential.

Here I will start with self forgiveness and self correction statements on some points that came up through the two day event that I say was part of this ‘self-compromise’ character I go into, so I can find the ways where I can support myself in those moments, and change to be the best potential I can be. Because why not? I realize that there is no one stopping me, but myself, and I have the drive to succeed and become the true potential that I am capable of.

There was one moment where a person compared me to my partner and not in words, but in my interpretation of what he was saying. I interpreted it as him saying that I was not worth being teamed up with because I was not doing well within my sales pitch. Now, this is the way in which I interpreted his words, his gestures, his physical presence, and many other subtle factors, but this is not in fact what actually was going on as I don’t know what he meant by his words. I never asked directly to know and I also never introspected the moment to see where I compromised myself or sabotaged myself. As it’s important to remember and focus on for myself when pushing through limitations is that no one outside of you can define you and/or has power over you, you are the direct principle within yourself, and so any point that doesn’t go well or you preform less then ideal, you can remediate this through writing for instance, and find the correction to walk in future moments with. This for me is key to understand and implement into my living, as I would have used this moment of interpretation to sabotage myself and not approach others due to fear of the same experience happening again. This I did not do, but before I go there I will walk the self forgiveness and self correction to this point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a belief about myself through another persons gestures, communication style, eye movements, and judgments I have made that I am being seen as not as important or good as another person I am working with and so judge myself as less then others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to through external factors direct my living into self compromise by myself creating a judgment that I am less then others, when I realize, see, and understand that the external does not define me nor does it create who I am, I do this within my own living and what I do in these moments.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe my mind when I see it within me saying that I am being judged as inferior and being seen as not worth being within in terms of being part of a team.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my own fears and judgments against myself onto the external world in where I can abdicate responsibility to change and blame it on this man who I interpreted as judging me in this way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate responsibility to my own judgments and my own thoughts and blame it on external factors based on the idea that I am not strong enough to change and that I will fail.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a belief of myself that I am not strong enough to face my mind within my judgments of myself and that I will fail at attempts to change myself in my living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and inferiorize myself with others and make my living be in accordance with what my mind is doing within each moment instead of stopping my mind in the moment, and directing myself within common sense and self honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to others within the event and see myself as doing not as well as others, and believing this is showing that I am not as good as others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create these thoughts within myself that I am not as good as others based on a in the moment judgment of myself not taking into consideration the context of the situation and that each one is in their own process walking themselves into stability, and this walk is different for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise the rest of that day’s event where I was in my mind judging myself and projecting anger and blame to this man, when within myself I could have taken responsibility, changed myself in the moment, and walked the tools that were necessary in self honesty to be change my living to be best for me and best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in the mind in that day’s event and miss opportunities to move myself here in the moment into real time self change.

When and as I see I am going into my backchat and judging myself about who I am in that moment in a specific situation, I stop and breath, and realize that these judgments and backchat thoughts will come out as projections and blame in my physical reality, and so compromise my living and who I can be with others to be less then my utmost potential.

So I commit myself to in the moment I see I am going into backchat thoughts of judgment towards myself or others, I stop and change in the moment to be physical and write on the point as soon as I am able to to direct the point and ground it into change for myself.

I commit myself to stop the judgments of myself in my mind before a big event and correct myself into grounding myself through breathing and self forgiveness and self correction.

I commit myself to stop comparing myself with others in the moment and find where I can learn from others.

I commit myself to breath and move myself in the moment in a way that pushes my self expression here as I breath with no thoughts.

I commit to stop my thoughts and judgments, and accept all as myself and walk what is best for all.

I will continue on with my realizations and writing on this work event in my next blog, thanks for reading.