Saturday, February 28, 2015

Redefining Patience – Impatience: Thought Dimension - Day 450



Blog Related to this Series:
Living the Word Patience - Part 1

This past week I was with my family on vacation, there was children there as well as preteen girls where I found impatient came up quite often. I will use these memories to walk some self forgiveness on the dimensions of impatience I am still acting in. This for the living correction process I will be walking to live the redefined word of Patience I started this series off with, please see the link for this blog.

One memory in particular that comes up is when my niece was holding money and wouldn’t give it to my mom, we needed it quick because of a toll we were approaching. My niece was frustrated because she wanted to go to the store and get goodies, and we were not going to take her. Within this moment, I had a backchat thought of ‘this kid is so spoiled’ (she was having a temper tantrum), I reached back and grabbed the money out of her hand and yelled at her. She then reacted to me by yelling, so it was not a successful interaction and I did not take responsibility for myself as the adult and allowed myself to react in anger and cause abuse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow the thought that ‘she is so spoiled’ and so move within this starting point as the energy that came up as anger in relation to this thought and grab the money from her causing her to react even more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the experience of impatience when I justified the thought of ‘she is so spoiled’ and then allowed the anger to overtake me so I could release it again onto my niece based on a blame that she was the cause of it because she ‘is spoiled’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to move into a point of impatience when I see a thought come up where I can use it to blame another for the experience I am having to not then have to face myself in this moment and stop myself from going into this energy release of justification and blame as the impatient experience came over me and I used it to release my built up frustration that I hadn’t directed onto my niece.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my niece for my own abdication of stopping my own mind as thoughts and energies and create consequence and abuse to her and her world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame another for what I was doing myself in that moment of not hearing her out and coming to an agreement as a stable point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow my mind as thoughts instead of who and how I am being in physical reality toward others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse others in this world instead of stopping the abuse within myself by taking responsibility for my actions and so stopping the consequential outflow I created through following thoughts and acting in reaction based on listening to this thought.

Self correction to follow in the next blog, thanks. 

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