My Journey to Life: human change

I listened to Anu’s interview today, and he was discussing on family rivalry and competition, and how within this play out with siblings we easily go into the point of ‘winning’ and ‘losing’ based on the inherent desirewithin us to be strong and thus be the ‘winner’, and so obviously not be ‘weak’ and be the ‘loser’.

So the first step he suggested within looking at this whole point of sibling rivalry, is too re-define the words winning and losing, starting with lose, lost, and/or loser, so I will start with the word – loser. I have a reaction to this word within a resistances and tension, like I don’t want to be associated with this word, it’s like a real negative, horrible experience within myself when I see the word loser. This based on seeing it as I am losing something of myself and will not be able to get that part of me back, such as losing my face for instance with others, my fake face as strength and being a loser means I am not strong and thus will not be able to be a fake face with others because they will see me for who I am, my name associate with me in the peer group, thus branded and a bad brand is not something one want to be associated with as that mean you are outcasted.

Why I want to be a fake face though one may say, and this is based on survival, it’s a learned behavior only done by humans to put on a fake face to impress others one’s abilities and capabilities even if it is false or unfounded, if you can fake it you can make it mentality. This based on humans living within judgment, separation, and abuse towards each other for greed and power. So being a loser is a huge point of fear as I see myself within being associated with this word at a lose, outcasted, abused, and thus not being able to survive with others and get what I desire.

Also, within being called a loser, it’s a point of being degraded and made to feel less then others, and so being called this brings a lot of fear, and so when I see that I may or could be perceived as a loser, I will go into suppression within my expression in fear of being seen as less then others or being called this name. I didn’t want to be seen as different and not part of the group because within being a loser and out casted, you are no one, you are not liked, and thus life because much more difficult and strained, you become the target of abuse because you are now weak. Interesting how I and we as humans, so easily will put another into this position as a loser, claiming it’s not a big deal, it’s just a little poking fun, it’s the way nature is. But it’s not, it’s most certainly is deliberate, a point of putting another in their place, and showing others who you are in relation to them/that other, that I am superior and you are a loser. Human nature does not have to be this way, in abuse and separation towards others; we can be as equals and live ni harmony with others through stopping this behavior. Though within being the one who is being out casted, I know that its not fun and games and jokes, when I am the one being called it’s a real big deal, it’s hurtful, and it cause a lot of stress and anxiety within me.

I will walk self forgiveness in the next blog and redefine this word.

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For further context within this blog, check out the following posts:
Day 253 – Yelling/Beating Someone Up in My Mind
Day 254 - "Being Taken Advantage of" to Justify My Abuse
Day 255 – Being Angry Because I am Offended By You - Part 1
Day 256 – Being Angry Because I am Offended By You – Part 1.2
Day 257 – Being Angry Because I am Offended By You 1.2 Continued
Day 258 – Does Survival of the Fittest make me a Robot?
Day 259 – Does Survival of the Fittest Make Me A Robot? Only If I Allow It
Day 260 – Using the Mind in Place of the Physical – Part 1 Day 261- Using the Mind in Place of the Physical – Part 1.2

Also reference these blogs specific to this self correction writing:

Day 262 – Using Fear to My Advantage and Enslaving Another– The Problem of this World is Within Me - Part 1
Day 263 – Enslaving Another – Control and Power Self Forgiveness

When and as I go into a form of threatening another based on desire for them to do my will and thus desire to have power over them, I stop and breath, and realize what I am actually doing and so ask myself would I want this for myself? Why am I doing this? And realize that this is the act of separation and evil, not life here inequality as who I speak of myself as.

I commit myself to put myself in the shoes of the other when any point of force or desire to have power over another emerge within, so to be able to see and wake myself up to what I am doing through self awareness of always focusing on the principles of life in equality and oneness, and thus putting myself in the shoes of the other and so stop my abuse.

I commit to stop having force over another and walk with them in understanding that they are my equal and I would like to be treated as an equal as well thus I must treat others in this way to thus gift it to myself, what I give I receive always and I give life as I would like to receive life.

I commit myself to stop all desires of control and force onto another through bringing myself back to the physical with breath and moving into the physical body through moving it physically around until I am here and stable and not in any point of reaction, I move and do not speak until I am clear.

I commit to write out the point of desire that I see is coming up to immediately correct it and not accept it to continue to direct me but give it direction through common sense self correction actions in that moment that is here.

When and as I see I am gaining a point of energy as superior feelings of worthiness and grandeur based onseeing the other fall to my force and abuse of threats, I stop and breath, and realize I am not here as a supportive life being, I am in my mind and causing abuse onto the other life around me. I am in ego and I realize this will cause me to miss the physical and thus not consider the physical equal to myself as I am in mymind in illusion as desire, and so I will deliberately go into superiority to gain nice feelings and abuse that which stand in my way.

I commit myself to stop and breath and move myself away from any situation where I see I desire to control and force my will on another, breath and do not participate in the mind at all and focus on the physical and move it to stay in awareness of myself here.

I commit myself to stop the desires for superiority and the feelings of worthiness through stopping them as they come up through breathing through them and saying ‘no I don’t accept these thoughts any longer, I am not thoughts, I am life and thus I can direct myself as the mind in the physical in common sense in what will be best’.

I commit to immediately see within what is real through putting my self in the others shoes and stopping immediately my path to abusing another for energy gain, stopping following my mind constructs as thoughts, feelings, emotions, memories.

I commit to breath through all energy of desire and release myself from the cycle of superior/inferior byaccepting myself and others through really seeing what others are doing and saying by understanding through communication and hearing what they have to say and coming to solutions through compromise.

When and as I go into a point of desire to enslave another for me to not have to do what is necessary to be done in the physical, I stop and breath, and as I realize that I will in term have to transcend this abusive way of life and walk responsibility of myself and what I require to do here in the physical to walk a world that is best for all and walk my process of equalizing myself with life, I have to become the physical to be real for real.

I commit to let go of the desire to enslave and not have to do work by walking it is I desire another to do each and every time, walk my own process, walk my own walk until I am here and self directed automatically.

I commit myself to walk the physical steps it will take, walking through resistances and transcending all resistances that are here, and forgiving myself for what I have done to life as an enslaver and abuser.

I commit myself to forgive myself to thus give me back to life and allow me to embrace life as myself, so we can move on in this world and correct our faulty living in abuse and self interest.

I commit to stop my desires within and as all that I do and walk practicality in common sense in what is best for all always through walking this within my self process of stopping my mind and walking myself as the physical in what is best in each situation that I live within.

When and as I find myself putting my own interest over what is best for the group, I stop and breath, and realize this will in turn cause separation with me and what is best for all because I am not in consideration with what is best but only what is best for me causing abuse to others and eventually abuse to myself.

I commit myself to stop all self interest and walk in all ways that I can see in self honesty and understand in what is best for all.

I commit to let go of desires for rewards and happiness in self interest, and walk practical solutions to do what will be best for all through walking the process of self forgiveness and self change as well as the equal moneysystem to create happiness and rewards were all enjoy and all benefit equally as one.

When and as I go into a point of jealousy because I am not accepting myself, I stop and breath, and I realize that jealousy leads to abuse and me to force my will on another due to believing I am at a lose.

I commit myself to accept me in all ways and walk the practical steps to build my self through commitment and physical effort in studies and research and practicing living my words and doing what is best in all that I do so I become that which I am not yet, I realize I am capable I have to walk it for real to live it this I understand.

I commit to let go of jealousy by letting go of my idea of myself, letting my idea of who I desire to be die, andrebirth as life here in the physical as the physical equal and one with all as I am here as self through the process of self correction through self honesty and self forgiveness.

I commit to embrace others as me and support all to walk self realization and support what is best for all as best I am able to in all times.

I commit to stop taking things personal by embracing others as myself in the moment of this jealousy by seeing what it is I am reacting to and walk a correction to either practice this point of communicate with the other to see how they walked it and physically walk it myself and see where it leads.

When and as I go into an abuse of life and take advantage of others dependency on me, I stop and breath, and realize this is causing the death of myself as the lose of life as I will not give to another but in fact abuse that which has been gifted to me in the expression that lives here within and as all because I only see my mind as my self and what I desire and fear.

I commit to let go of fear as this encapsulates me into the belief and the mind and so I am defined only by that which I fear, I embrace that which I fear and do what is best within this situation and not allow fear to control me through always facing the fear.

I commit to stop abusing life’s gifts as all that live here and walk my correction process into self responsibility within all that I do and all that is here that I am in encounter.

I commit to breath through all energy reactions as I see this is the mind desiring to control, and walk the correction I see is here in what is best, walking into a self integrity that I can only stand within and become stable as this is me.

I commit to walk self integrity through honoring the life within myself and the life within all by stopping fear and stopping all abuse, and changing to help solve these issues through changing myself to be the solution always in what is best for all.

I commit to stop revenge and walk humbleness through letting go of my mind desires, and become nothing within myself and thus walk as a physical being in what ever is necessary to support the honor and equality of all life as I realize this is the perfect honor of myself as life as life itself.