Sunday, January 13, 2013

Day 204 - Stopping My Copy Cat Character

You can reference this blog for further perspective on the quote below:

“I have realized this point of seeing myself better then others is not something I in fact live and believe about myself, but really is a defense mechanism within me based on holding onto and living within fear. I see this point of being self righteous is a point of belief that I have to inflate myself so to speak or otherwise I will not survive within society, with people, with family, and with work colleagues.“

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief that I have to inflate myself and become self righteous to survive among society, people, family, and work related colleagues within fear of not being able to compete with them and thus create myself within ways and means that in my mind are good ‘social norms’ that will make me accepted and thus have an easier time socially getting what I want. I realize though within this compromise of trying to fit in with others and become like everyone else as social norms, I am never actually enjoying myself with others as I am always in a constant point of competition and comparison. This allowing never any rest or comfortableness as the stress is always their in social environments either on staying at the top by conforming and creating myself into this character that will always be ever evolving and changing as life around me is always evolving and changing, and also the constant struggle of maintaining this character, the upgrading of it and the fulfillment of these imaginative desires I have now created by playing in my mind of what character I could present and thus be, and what I will get when others see me as this 'fabulous' person, but I'm not real, I am not living, I am only creating illusions and generating energy that I have now become addicted to.

I commit myself to when and as I go into this point of defense mode as moving into becoming this character to measure up and conform to others around me, I stop and breath, and become stable within myself as my body. I stop all the thoughts and desires and thus impulses to go into imagination land in my mind, and remain practicing my breathing, staying disciplined in what I am physically doing here, and walking the solutions in what is best for all always.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become overwhelmed with emotion of elation and excitement when I see I have lined up and aligned my character creation as getting positive feedback and thus within myself become more at ease because the stress of survival has lifted for a moment. I realize though that this lift of stress is going to be short lived as I continue to operate within my mind in comparison and judgment with others around me as I am not seeing myself as the living being that is in fact equal with all others here and thus living within this simple truth and stability, but have created and participated in emotions and feelings that are attached now to characters such as the character of being accepted, and thus now only base this moment of relaxation to, if I am accepted in my environment rather then living here and accepting me as the environment one and equal and living from this real point of stability which is me as the physical as the environment as myself.

I commit myself to when and as I go into a point of self satisfaction within the feelings of elation because my character was accepted and thus I go into this character within myself of being accepted were I can relax for a moment, I stop and breath, and do not allow myself to participate within these social character buildings I exist within my own mind as this is not supporting me as I am not supporting myself but basing myself on others, and thus I push to accept all as myself here and live from this starting point always, everything here is me and I am equal with all here.

I commit myself to walk and continue to push my own self acceptance, stopping the thoughts of comparison and judgment, and accepting others as I would want to be accepted, pushing myself to breath before communicating with others and speak within my own directive reasoning of common sense, I stop my desire to be accepted by others by pushing myself to live as the physical and walk what is best for all always.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the imagination dimension within my mind of creating this character that others will accept, finding the perfect cloths to wear, how I will wear my hair, and having a picture in my head that I view in the time leading up to it such as a certain hair style, and thus try and copy that style, instead of walking here and trusting myself, expressing myself in the moment in what I would like to wear and what is comfortable, and dressing up in a way I see appropriate not based on how I see others will think of me, but how I want to look for myself.

I commit myself to stop and breath when I start to wonder in my mind with others around comparing and contrasting myself to them. I commit to start to move my physical body and do something physical to not accept and allow myself to go into the possession of thought of who and how I want to present for others to see me as acceptable. I commit to push my own self expression and stop this point of coping others looks and images that I like and become creative within and as myself as an original being living equal to all as this expression of freedom as ourselves.

More to follow, thanks.

For Further Support, Please check out Links:

Free Desteni I Process Lite Course for All Ages
Journey to Life Group
Creation's Journey to Life
Earth's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to Life
Eqafe Life Products - Self Help
Desteni Site
Desteni Wiki

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