Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Stubbornness Dissected - Who am I within this? Day 439

I have come to realize that I am quite a stubborn person, I have a hard time not getting my way and having to adhere to another’s way of doing things. I have for a while wanted to deny this aspect of myself or simply run away from it because to look at this means I have to face it and change it. I find that within this fear of facing myself within stubbornness, I fear losing my stand I have believed myself to have with others in my world of getting my needs met and making sure that I survive or get taken care of, because in essence if I don’t take care of myself, who will? Though, I have taken this belief of myself to an extreme point where I have believed myself to be able to handle everything, I don’t need anyone in my life, I don’t need help, I can take care of myself, and within standing within this stubborn belief of myself, I have in ways stood alone.

There is benefit’s to having this stand within self as this allows for self sufficiency and self empowerment, but also it can lead to an unbalanced relationship with other people in my world where I push them away and not embrace the ‘gifts’ they have to share with me, be it the treasures of companionship or the harsh reality of facing who I really am in the eyes of another. This truth of self especially coming from an outside source is where I go into a wall of stone cold, where I have an extremely difficult time allowing someone to show me where I am doing something wrong or where I can improve on something. This is specific to the person as each person I meet I find there is a different relationship that develops, but with specific people I have created myself in relation to them in ways where I find myself comfortable and my nature or who I have created as my personalities catered to based on the personality of the other, these relationships I desire as there is an easement to them and I am usually able to get my way eventually.

Now with endeavoring on the desteni I process and standing as a point of living example for those who come after me, I am here and have committed myself to see myself for who I really am, change my nature, and report openly and self honestly to those who will read this. I am finding that I have to correct and change myself to fit into all walks of life, the easy and the difficult, the comfortable and the uncomfortable, I can no longer escape into my comfort zone of just seeking the easy and comfortable path, I have put myself in a position where I stand until I in fact do or stand to lose much in the way of not standing. As within reality there is always consequence to the decisions we make, I no more can pretend that all will be good and the universe will take care of me, as I realize I am a universe unto myself and I am the creator of myself so no one is going to take care of me, I have to take care of myself meaning I have to correct my living to align with life and what is best for all. There is simply no other logical or harmonious way to go about living my life realizing these facts that what is best for all is the law of the universe and treating and considering others as equal and one to self is life.

So I have come to start writing and correcting myself within this current realization of seeing myself within the understanding that I am stubborn and am determined to get my own way without considering all the dimensions of this desire push. I have currently been facing this in my agreement so will walk some self forgiveness in relation to this as well as walking the correction process.

Thanks for reading. 

Interview Support on the topic of Stubbornness:

Check Out these Awesome and Life Supporting sites:
Desteni I Process Lite - Free Course to Start your Journey to Life
Journey to Life Group - On Facebook
Desteni Wiki - For All Things Desteni Related
Desteni Forum - Share your Self with Other Destonians
Destonian Social Network
Eqafe - Self Perfection Support
Equal Life Foundation - Site

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